Disclaimer: All is owned by Disney, none of it mine. Have at it.
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It was a dark and stormy night. . .
"Man, why do we always have to be in this stuff? This cranks."
"Quiet, Ron, we're in stealth mode, remember?"
"Oh, right. Gotcha," and with that, the blonde, freckled, barely-still-a-teen closed his mouth and resumed climbing the slippery rock cliff leading to their latest mission, an old, broken down castle being used as a secret lair by the villain du jour.
He was unable to maintain his silence for long, though. "Why does every villain have to have the same sort of hideout?" he asked. "Why can't they choose a national forest, or a lair below the furthest sands of the Sahara or something not dark and dank and dusty."
"I don't know," answered his red-headed best friend, and more recently, girlfriend, in an exasperated tone. "I suppose they all subscribe to the same magazine the Seniors get all their villainous practices and etiquette. Oh, and Ron?" she asked with a bit of steel in her voice.
"Yeah, KP?" he replied, completely oblivious to the subtlety of her tone.
"You will NOT mention that idea to another villain," she ordered him with a tone that brought to mind unbreakable prison bars. "We will not have you pulling what you did with the Seniors again. Now be quiet!"
"Oh yeah," he answered back, still oblivious to her hardened voice. "Yeah, that was my bad," he continued, then fell silent as they had reached the actual walls of the fortress. The howling wind and pouring rain made it unlikely anyone was going to actually pick up their voices, but caution never hurt in such circumstances.
Kim and Ron stood on the small strip of land between the castle wall and the edge of the cliff. Kim thought that this would have made at least this side of the castle impregnable to opposing armies, but was wildly impractical in this day and age, not to mention for a villain who was more likely to face two people perfectly capable of scaling a 500 foot cliff-side, then another 60 feet up a castle wall with only rudimentary cameras for security.
Each of the teen heroes brought up their grappling guns and fired, landing the hooks perfectly on the roof, then pulled the ropes taut and activated the winch, pulling them up faster than Ron really appreciated. He managed to cut off his girlish scream, though, which would not have been in keeping with his more recent, far stronger additions on these missions. After landing on the roof alongside Kim, he unfastened the rope from his belt, noted that his pants were miraculously still attached to him, and then scurried across the roof to one of the small, glassless windows in this unused portion of the castle. According to Wade, from whom they had gotten a mission briefing on the Kimmunicator before they had left, (Ron had to convince Wade to get him one of those) the heavy security was inside the castle, as the villain only used the main hall and a few other rooms for living quarters.
The mission gear-clad duo made their way down the spiral staircase that was the main mode of transportation for this tower, which made a nice change from their usual Spider-Man impression. Kim took the lead, Kimmunicator out in order to scan for the usual array of booby traps, security, and the other nonsense that villains usually spread around these places. Ron occupied himself with looking around in a vaguely fearful manner, which for once came out useful, as several large henchmen, unarmed, and not wearing anything that could possibly trigger a scanner jumped out from a well-hidden niche in the wall.
"Kim, look out!" Ron shouted, as he pointed at the generic bad guys. Kim acknowledged him with a nod, a quick stash of the electronic device, and a change of position into a defensive crouch. Four of the thugs surrounded her in various fighting poses, leaving just one to go after Ron.
This lone hulk of a man started chuckling at a slowly retreating Ron. "So this is the famous Ron Stoppable," the generic guy stated. "You know, I've never figured out why a hero like Kim Possible repeatedly drags a scared little buffoon like you on all her missions. All you do is drag her down."
"Well, I wouldn't say I do that," Ron replied with sudden malice in his voice, and a marked change of pose. "I like to think I pull my weight now." He approached the startled bad guy, then gave him a quick kick to the stomach, then grabbed his hand, flipped over his head, and used his momentum to throw the goon into one of the two Kim had not knocked out already.
"Thanks, Ron," she said to him as she put down the last of the team. She then flashed him a dazzling smile, one that never failed to make him weak at the knees, especially since the events at prom night.
"Oh, no big," he answered, looking down at his feet while scratching the back of his neck. "You know how we do."
They advanced into what had been the main hall of the castle, where they encountered their newest enemy very calmly working on yet another ray of some kind stolen from yet another secret laboratory. The villain looked up at the teenaged duo and smiled the sort of smile that usually meant the person knew something he was not supposed to. "Ah, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable," he spoke sibilantly, "I have been expecting you. Before I defeat you, I wish to have you know that I have studied you extensively and know your deepest weaknesses." He proceeded to push a button that had been installed on the nearby wall.
"That's it?" asked Kim in a bored, yet still incredulous voice. "Those are your main weapons to combat our deepest weaknesses?" She continued to stare at the two chambers that had been opened. "Where did you get those, anyway?" she asked, indicating the chamber stuffed with Cuddle Buddies, while Ron continued to stare at the chamber meant for him.
"Dude, you didn't even let them out of their cages?" he asked, unbelieving. "Wow, does this take the cake." His chamber was full of monkeys, with the one problem being that they were all safely locked away, unable to get at him.
"Yuck," the villain said. "Like I would want to interact with those filthy creatures." He then noticed that neither of his opponents were bowled over by his secret weapons, and started backtracking. "Well, I suppose it is time to engage Plan B."
"And that is?" inquired Kim.
"RUN!" as he put action to words. Two back flips later, Kim had cut off his escape route.
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"Congratulations, Agent Possible, on your apprehension of. . .What's his name again?" the Global Justice agent stated, betraying his lack of knowledge of the evil scientist of the week.
"Honestly?" answered Kim, "I have no idea. He never got around to monologuing." Kim stated this with the air of someone who has no need to know the name of this particular bad guy. "Also, please make sure the credit for this takedown goes to Team Possible, not just me. I really hate it when you guys leave Ron out of the picture. He's just as important as I am."
"Whatever you say, Miss Possible," replied the agent, clearly not caring to notice the blonde boy off to the side. "What needs to be done with these?" he asked, gesturing at the rooms full of caged monkeys and Cuddle Buddies.
"Ummm. . ." Kim stammered, clearly torn between her desire for the rare collectibles and the pull to do the right thing by returning them to their rightful owner, "The Cuddle Buddies actually belong to DNAmy, so take those back to her." She stated the sentence with clear distaste, not wishing to help her sometime foe.
Ron cleared his throat, and spoke up for the first time, "Hey KP, we gotta go."
"Oh, right," she said to the law enforcer she had been talking to, "Urgent appointment with Bueno Nacho. You know how it is." And with that, she and Ron ran out the door and caught their ride home.
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". . .And then I kicked the thug right in the stomach, then I flipped over him, then I threw him right into another guy." Ron was speaking animatedly, hands flying all over the place as he described his monkey ninja moves. It was a miracle he had avoided throwing his grande sized naco all over his companions in their favorite booth at Bueno Nacho.
Monique just propped her elbow on the table, head on her hand, looking bored, "Yeah right, Naco Boy. I'll just go ahead and ask my girl Kim here what really happened."
"No, Monique, he's not exaggerating in the least," Kim somehow managed to get out at the same time she was sucking down her drink. "He really did do everything he just said. He didn't even lose his pants this time."
The black girl's hand flew to her chest, "No, really? Girl, you ain't gotta stick up for your man over there. Just give me the straight scoop."
"He really did," Kim defended Ron, nodding vigorously. "He pulled the move off just like he said, and took out one of the guys who had set up to fight me."
"Daaaang, my man," Monique said, smiling, "That kiss must've finally knocked some confidence into you. You're actually pulling your weight now."
She looked at him, and realized she was being ignored. Ron was currently in an eating contest with Rufus, and could not be bothered with trivial things such as conversation at the moment. Rufus stomped on a nacho loaded with cheese, sending it flying into the air. The cheese came falling, then splattered all over the naked mole rat.
"Boo yah!" celebrated Ron, who then noticed the two girls were looking at him expectantly. "Oh," he said, "you were saying?"
Kim sighed, and was about to tell him not to play with his food when she got interrupted by the familiar tone of her Kimmunicator. She fished into her purse, pulled it out, and activated it. "Go, Wade."
"Hey, Kim," the boy genius spoke into the screen, "Got a mixed bag for you today. First off, the monkeys got returned to the San Diego Zoo, and the Cuddle Buddies are back with DNAmy."
The redhead shuddered at that. "Don't remind me," she said, "Go on."
"Well, Dr. Drakken and Shego have escaped, yet again," Wade went on. "The good news is they didn't kill anybody this time, and Global Justice has told me to tell you not to worry, that they have the situation under control and don't need your help this time."
"Figures," Kim muttered. "Well, they'll call me when they finally realize that they need me. Again."
"Unfortunately, that's not the bad news," the young techie continued. "While you were busy doing your thing, someone else snuck into NASA's top level R&D facilities and got a hold of yet another new technology. This guy's good, I tell you. I've studied the security tapes, and there is absolutely no movement on them."
Kim pondered that for a moment. "Are we sure that it isn't the Bebes again?They move too fast to see, after all."
Wade shook his head. "No, NASA's surveillance is good enough that they would have caught something. This is some one or something new. I'll analyze the other data gathered at the site and get back to you."
"Please and thank you," Kim said, smiling into the device. She disconnected, then looked up to see what Ron and Monique were up to, only to find them in a face-off ready to kick off yet another eating contest. Rufus was clearly acting as the judge for this one. The redhead sighed, then leaned back and watched her two best friends with a small smile on her face, content with her life.