HEAVEN CAN TELL (To the tune of "I Know Him So Well" from Chess)
Because I Don't Do H/S. Aaahh, slowly I shall win over your hearts & minds, you E/D Naysayers. produces watch to dangle in front of your eyes You are feeling sleepy... very sleepy...
-x-
HER: Heaven knows I'm not a girl who riles easily
'Cept when I'm defending what is right,
So why should I argue delib'rately?
When did it become such fun to fight?
-x-
Heaven knows that I would probably run a mile
If he made a move, screaming as well...
But why's it that Goddamn jerk makes me smile?
It's beyond me, still, Heaven can tell.
HER: He's not that great,
(HIM: What a pain!)
HER: Hardly the best,
(HIM: What a pest!)
BOTH: So tell my hormones to give it a rest!
HIM: Cos Heaven knows they make it
Awfully hard for me...
(HER: Have some dignity!)
I can't pretend I see a future here...
BOTH: But Heaven can tell.
-x-
HIM: Heaven knows she's not a girl I'd try to catch,
Heaven knows I'm not that desperate yet.
So how comes after every slanging match
It feels like we both need a cigarette?
-x-
Heaven knows we're never gonna be Hearts and Flowers.
(HER: Heaven alone knows I'd not live it down if he knew...)
She would make a girlfriend straight from Hell.
(HER: Still it's just a bit exciting...)
But she brings heat to all my coldest hours -
(HER: Maybe... maybe if he felt the same...)
And you can bet your ass I'll never tell.
This isn't fair!
(HER: Such a pest!)
This is insane!
(HER: Such a pain!)
BOTH: But there's that feeling in my stomach again.
I shoulda known -
I watched "Romancing The Stone" just last May!
What a disgusting cliché!
HIM: This isn't good...
HER: For pity's sake...
HIM: This is the weirdest riddle to date...
(HER: ...or not date?)
To feel this way about a Fricking Lunatic.
(HER: Selfish Hypocrite!)
Exactly what is it about her, then?
Guess Heaven can tell.
HER: Heaven knows I hide it from him.
BOTH: But Heaven can tell.