Must Be Something She Drank
Rating: K+
Summary: Something's wrong with Tonks. Harry knows what it is, and with help from Hermione and Professor Slughorn, he puts it right.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world or its characters. J. K. Rowling does.
"What is it? What's wrong with me?" Tonks sounded despairing.
"Nothing," said Hermione, moving closer to her on the sofa and putting an arm around Tonks's shoulders. "You're a lovely person, and everybody likes you."
Harry thought that a bit of an exaggeration, but it seemed to be what Tonks needed to hear just then, so perhaps Hermione was right to say it.
"He doesn't like me," Tonks said with a sniff.
"Of course he does," Hermione said. "Don't you remember last year, the fun we had, you and me and Harry and him, all the jokes and the laughs?"
That too was something of an exaggeration, but it was true there had been some fun times amid the gloom of Grimmauld Place.
Tonks remained despondent. "But that was before," she said sadly. "Before I was in love with him. Oh, I love him so much, why doesn't he love me back?"
"I don't think he can," Hermione explained gently. "I mean, he likes you very much, but to love you like – like a man and a woman – well, surely you know he's gay, and he was in love with Sirius, and he's still grieving for him? Everybody knows that."
"What!" Harry exclaimed.
"Everybody except Harry," Hermione amended.
"Are you saying Sirius was a……" Harry began.
"Later, Harry," said Hermione, with that edge of exasperation in her voice which was more usually heard when she spoke to Ron.
"Yes of course I know that," Tonks said, "but I can change him, if he'd only give me half a chance. He would see how good I would be for him, and I'm alive, and I love him, and people do change, you know."
"Yes," Hermione conceded, "but not usually people of thirty-seven. If he was seventeen, then maybe, but……"
Tonks looked hopelessly around the room, seeming to notice for the first time Harry sitting opposite her, then sunk her head in her hands and sobbed.
"Tonks, look at me!" Harry said suddenly.
Tonks looked up, confused. "What?" she said.
"Please. Look me in the eye. Just for a minute."
Harry moved forward, taking Tonks's face between his hands, and looked into her eyes. "It'll be all right, Tonks," he said softly. "Everything will be all right. I promise."
"Now what was all that about Lupin being gay?" Harry demanded when he and Hermione were alone again. "And was Sirius gay too, did he go along with it?"
"Yes of course he did, they were in love," Hermione said. "Ask Ginny if you don't believe me, she'll tell you all about it. But more to the point, what did you mean by telling Tonks everything will be all right? It doesn't look all right to me."
"I mean we can get her an antidote."
"An antidote to love?" Hermione asked sceptically.
"To a love potion," Harry said. "I know because she looks just like Ron did when he ate Romilda Vane's chocolates that had love potion in them, exactly the same look in the eyes, sort of pink around the edges."
"Romilda Vane gave Ron a love potion?"
"She meant it for me, Ron ate it by mistake."
"Oh. That makes sense. That explains why Tonks changed so suddenly, and can't listen to reason, and……but why would Lupin want to make her love him? And even if he did, would he give her a potion? That doesn't seem like him."
"No. No, it isn't. It must be somebody else who gave her the potion."
"But then, surely, the potion would make her love the person who gave it to her?"
"I thought so, but – well, we don't know all there is to know about potions, do we? But I know someone who does, and I don't mean Slughorn."
"Snape!"
They looked around cautiously before attempting the break-in, because although there was no longer any fear of Snape catching them, some of the other professors might be inclined to interfere on seeing two students trying to force their way into a colleague's office. Hermione took from her pocket a plastic card which she used when visiting her local Muggle library during the school holidays. After a moment's tampering with the lock, she pushed the door open and they were in. She took a hairgrip from her head to manipulate the locks on Snape's desk drawers, Harry looking on admiringly.
"Rotten old-fashioned locks, piece of cake," Hermione explained. "That's what happens when you rely too much
on magic."
They found what they were looking for at the bottom of the last drawer they searched: a parchment covered with notes in the handwriting Harry recognised at once.
"Experiment. Purpose: to determine the effectiveness of Amortentia when modified by the addition of chopped leaves of cupressus leylandii and mashed lizard skin, the former ingredient to extend the working life of the potion, and the latter to cause the subject to experience amorous feelings towards a person other than the one administering the potion. I selected as the subject of the experiment Nymphadora Tonks, and as the object of her magically-induced affections Remus Lupin, for no particular reason but that it amused me to do so, and I do like a challenge. It was necessary to obtain either a body part or bodily fluid from Lupin. My first attempt, using a goblet from which he had drunk, was unsuccessful, the saliva traces being insufficient. I had therefore to resort to cutting a small sample of his hair while we were both at Order HQ. He was naturally aware of my activity at the back of his neck, but I quickly concealed my scissors and the cutting in my pocket. Before he could question me, we were joined by diverse noisy Weasleys" – Hermione giggled at this point – "and I took the opportunity to depart in the confusion. I made up a batch of Amortentia in the usual way, but with the additional ingredients before mentioned. I concentrated the potion and added ten millilitres to a bottle of strong red wine which I took with me when I visited Tonks, by then discharged from hospital and convalescing at The Burrow. I persuaded her that the wine would speed her recovery, and overcame any suspicions she might have had by pouring a glass for myself, in her sight, and drinking it. Of course I had prepared a phial of antidote which I drank at the first opportunity, but in the meantime I experienced a certain feeling about Remus Lupin, the recollection of which is extremely distasteful to me, but which assures me of the potion's efficacy. Any remaining doubts on that score are dispelled by my observations since; the subject is clearly overwhelmed by amorous desire for a man who is physically and temperamentally incapable of returning it, and even more entertaining than her distress is the sight of Lupin squirming like a butterfly on a pin. This has been a serious techno-magical experiment, and I really ought not to be enjoying it quite so much."
"The bastard," Harry exclaimed when he finished reading.
"Come on," said Hermione, "Professor Slughorn. He's got to help us."
Professor Slughorn appeared shocked by Harry and Hermione's story.
"Yes……yes, possible in theory, I don't doubt, but deeply unethical……I can't believe……"
"Murdering Dumbledore was a bit unethical too, and I saw him do that myself," Harry said. "And it's all here, in his own words. Surely you recognise the handwriting?"
Slughorn made no further objection, and got busy preparing the antidote.
They found Tonks and Lupin sitting at a table in the Great Hall. Both looked dejected, with an air of subdued desperation about them.
"Go on, Harry," Hermione whispered. "Kitchen. Quick. The elves like you better than me."
It must have cost Hermione something to admit that, Harry told himself, never mind that it was true. He easily persuaded an elf to produce tea for four on an elegant tray, and carried it up to the Hall.
If Lupin or Tonks were surprised to be served tea by Harry and Hermione for no apparent reason, they were both too depressed to raise any objection and neither noticed the clear liquid Hermione poured into Tonks's cup along with the tea.
The effect was instantaneous. Tonks put down her cup, and stood up. "I've made a complete fool of myself," she said.
"No you haven't," Hermione said, "it wasn't your fault, it was Snape."
Harry briefly outlined the situation to Lupin, who, in his customary manner, sought and found a way to take any guilt on himself. "If it's anybody's fault, it's mine," Lupin said. "I should have known you weren't yourself, Tonks. You were under a constraint. I'm so sorry for not realising it."
"Don't be," Tonks said cheerfully. "I feel wonderful. It's like a huge burden has been lifted from me. I'm me again, and I'm happy, happy……" Impulsively she gripped Hermione and kissed her on the cheek, then did the same to Harry. She hesitated in front of Lupin, said "Oh, what the hell," and kissed him too. Then she turned and walked quickly out of the Hall, almost skipping, and repeating "I'm Tonks, and I'm young again, I'm young and I'm free……"
"I'll go and keep an eye on her," said Hermione, grinning. "She seems a bit……euphoric." Then in a low voice she muttered to Harry, "Talk to him. You can help each other."
"I'm eternally in your debt," Lupin said to Harry, who stood looking at him questioningly.
"Hermione said you and Sirius were……were……"
"Yes," said Lupin. "We were lovers. Since we were your age. Is that a problem for you?"
"No, I……I guess not. It means you miss him too? As much as I do?"
"Of course. And I'm sorry I wasn't around for you when……when it happened."
"You were. You saved me from going in after him. And now……it means a lot to me, that somebody else cares. Ron and Hermione and Ginny were really nice about it, but that's because they're my friends and they're sorry I've lost my godfather. There didn't seem to be anybody who really cared about him, you know?"
"I know." Lupin pulled Harry into an embrace and they stood together, feeling at last the bitter comfort of grief shared.
Lupin looked up to see Tonks, pink-haired and glowing, beside him for Dumbledore's funeral.
"He was really important to you, wasn't he?" she asked.
Lupin nodded. "Those werewolves I've been living with – I'd have been just like them, if it hadn't been for Dumbledore. He gave me my chance, and I owe everything to him."
Wordlessly she slipped her hand into his and he held it, understanding and accepting the simple friendship she offered.