A/N: Hello, all of my readers out there! My name is Phishy2. I am generally crazy. This is my first fanfic, so naturally I'm extremely sensitive and not very emotionally secure, so please no flames. If you flame me, I'll get notyouraverageblond or staremerald to reply to it for me.
(Notyouraverageblond and Staremerald: 'Muwahahahahahahaha!)
Sadly (sob) I do not own H.P. But I will someday! You mark my words! Some day, somehow, I will own Harry Pott- oh, well, never mind.
ANYWAY! On with the story!
Phishy2 tapped a few keys on the keyboard. "Ok," she announced triumphantly, "The best fanfic in the world has just been posted!"
Her friends Staremerald andNotyouraverageblond yelled, "Hooray!" in unison. As an afterthought, Notyouraverageblond added,"You didn't mess it up, did you?" Phishy2 snorted."Me?" she said. "I never mess anything up. Right?"
Suddenly the sound of crickets chirping filled the air.
"Actually," saidPhishy2,"that was a rhetorical question."
"Anyway! Our fanfic is the best ever!" yelled Staremerald."Yay!"
Notyouraverageblond agreed."That's for sure! Yay!"
"Our story is so good, it makes J.K. Rowling look bad!" screamed Phishy2."Yay!"
There was a silence.
"Well, it's not all that good-" she admitted.
"But it's pretty darn good!"
Notyouraverageblond raised her hand, curled into a triumphant fist."Three cheers for self praise! Hip hip-"
"Hooray!"
"Hip, Hip-"
"Hooray!"
"Hip, hip-"
"Hoo-ray?"
All three fanfic authorswere immediately shut up by the sight of a large, muscular man wearing a Kevlar bullet/ pointy quill proof vest and armed with a scroll of paper, a bundle of pens and a can of prune juice. Hedrank the can of prune juice in one gulp and wiped his mouth on his shirt sleeve. (Hey, no one ever accused him of having good manners...)
"Ah, prune juice!" hesang."So creamy and delicious, and may I say nutritious, tastes just like a squishy purple fruit!"
Phishy2 stared at him. "Ummmm…"
"OK, then..." said Staremerald. "Stepping away from the large muscular man with the prune juice… so creamy and delicious, and may I say nutritious, tastes just like a squishy, purple fruit! God, that's catchy!"
Notyouraverageblond ignored Staremerald. "You came all the way from…" she paused, "wherever you came from just to advertise for prune juice? What a dinostihan." (A/N: sorry, inside joke)
The Large Muscular Man frowned. "Hey!" he shouted. "No inside jokes in a fanfiction!"
"SAYS WHO?" shouted Phishy2 indignantly.
"Well, um…."The Large Muscular Man paused in thought."AT LEAST NONE THAT I'M NOT ON THE INSIDE OF!"
"O.K., then..." said Phishy2 nervously."Just who the heck are you?"
"I," said the Large, Muscular Man proudly, "am the grand supreme grand poobah of all fanfics.("Who?" said Staremerald. Notyouraverageblond shrugged.)I punish people who have violated fanfic rules! Muwahahahaha!"
"And we have violated what rules?"
TheLarge Muscular Man thought about this for a while. "Ummmmmm…. Actually, you haven't done anything bad. But neither has anyone else, and I'm bored. So! As punishment for a crime that you didn't actually commit, you will be sent to a random very strange fan fiction version of Harry Potter 1. Once inside the story, you will just have to live with however the strange and weird author designed the characters and their personality quirks, and you do not get to come out until you've reached the end of the fanfic. Muwahahahahahahaha!"
"Alright, that's it!"saidNotyouraverageblond in an annoyed/slightly disgusted tone of voice."Now I know for sure you're a dinostihan." (A/N: sorry, inside joke)
The Large Muscular Man exploded. (Not literally) "No more inside jokes! Now I'm going to send you to the world of Harry Potter #1."
Staremerald grinned."This is supposed to be a punishment? I'll get to meet Daniel Radcliffe! YAY DANNY!"
"By the way," said the Large MuscularMan inan annoyed/slightly disgusted tone of voice, "the real Harry Potter is not Daniel Radcliffe."
"WAAAAHHHH!" wailed Staremerald.
"Oh, who cares?" said Phishy2, as the third person in this chapter to speak in an annoyed/slightly disgusted tone of voice. "Hayden Christensen is SO much hotter."
"Back to our previous topic!" shouted the Large Muscular Man."I am sending you now! Remember to always drink your prune juice! So creamy and delicious, and may I say nutritious, tastes just like a squishy, purple fruit! POOF!"
That's the end of Chapter One! More to come, and soon!