Hey! Chapter 3 up! enjoy!

Kudos to Notyouraverageblond for The Talk!

Harry, Ron and Hermione were staring at the three fanfic authors as if they were three fanfic authors who'd suddenly landed in their boat (which they were, but never mind).

"Um… who are you?" asked Harry.

"OMIGOD! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE I IMAGINED YOU! I'M SO HAPPY!" screamed notyouraverageblond.

Staremerald pouted. "Well, I'm not," she said. "You don't look anything like Daniel Radcliffe. Well, I mean, you sort of do, but you're not as cute."

Ron looked very confused. "Who's Daniel Radcliffe?" he asked. "And does he really look like Harry?"

"A really stupid guy who staremerald has the biggest crush on," replied Phishy2. "Yeah, he sort of looks like Harry, but not that much."

"I'm Hermione Granger," said Hermione.

"We know," said the authors simultaneously.

"You do? But I've never met you before…"

Once again the Golden Trio sat staring at the authors with confused expressions on their faces. Notyouraverageblond felt that some sort of explanation was needed.

"Well, the only reason we're here is because we're being punished because we violated fanfiction rules only we didn't really and this Large Muscular Man with a can of Prune juice came and he kept on singing about how prune juice was so creamy and delicious and may I say nutritious tastes just like a squishy purple fruit and all that and then he accidentally sent us to Puffin Land where they make prune juice and staremerald landed in the freezing arctic water and then he sent us here and staremerald landed in the lake and we landed in the boat and the giant squid pushed her back in and then we introduced ourselves, and well, here we are!" She looked around expectantly. Now, it wasn't just the Golden Trio that was staring at her- Phishy2 and staremerald were also looking at her as if she'd grown extra arms. Hermione sighed. "I didn't get a word of that," she said, "but never mind."

Harry looked heavenward. "Of course, I got every word." he bragged. " I just didn't understand any of it. But who cares? I'm still gorgeous and perfect." Staremerald looked him up and down. "Yeah, you're hot," she said, "just not as hot as Danny."

Ron pulled back his black robes suddenly. For about ten seconds all three authors were blinded. "What was that?" asked Phishy2 weakly.

"I dunno," said Ron, "but check out my shirt! It's PINK! My pants are PINK too! And my belt! and my shoes! and my socks! and my-" Hermione interrupted him. "That's very nice, Ron." In an undertone to Notyouraverageblond, she said, "Don't mind them. They have these weird personality quirks. Harry believes he's perfect, and Ron loves pink." She smoothed back her bronze colored hair. "Now," she said, suddenly bussinesslike. "Do you enjoy eating vegetables?" Notyouraverageblond was rather taken aback by this question. "Ummm..." she replied, "they're not my favorite, but they're ok, yeah."

Hermione was suddenly furious. "HOW DARE YOU!" she screamed, "HOW DARE YOU EAT INNOCENT LITTLE PLANTS WHO CAN'T FEND FOR THEMSELVES?"

"Well, I uh-"

"WELL NOTHING! EATING ANIMALS IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE, BUT POOR LITTLE PLANTS? AARGH!" She flopped down into the bottom of the boat, apparently worn out by this statement. "Vegetarians make me sick," she snarled, "with their talk of 'animal rights' and their ceaseless veggie consuming! Well, what about 'vegetable rights', huh? Plants have feelings, too, you know! And they're much more civilised than animals. Plants don't chew your new shoes! Plants don't attack you! PLANTS," she screamed, "DON'T LEAVE CRAP ALL OVER THE FRICKIN' ROAD..." Just then, the boats stopped at the dock. Harry was immediately surrounded by lovestruck girls, Ron ran over to smell some pink flowers, and Hermione went to scream at a girl wearing a 'Go Veggie!' shirt.

"This is awful!" groaned Staremerald. "Why us?"

"Because you violated fanfic rules," said the Large Muscular Man calmly. All three authors stared at him.

"Where did you come from?" asked Phishy2, confused.

"Well, you see, Phishy2, when a Large Muscular Mommy and a Large Muscular Daddy love each other very much-"

"Too much information!" shouted Notyouraverageblond.

You know the drill... read and review...