Nighttime Confessions
Chapter 2: The Morning After
A/N: So for those of us in the States, Gum Drops was a HUGE disappointment on the GSR Scene. I watched the episode like the Pollyanna Girl Scout that I am hoping that Grissom would show up each time they changed scenes. But he didn't. When reading this chapter, please keep in mind that in my world, Gum Drops happened as originally planned. This was going to be a one shot, but since I got so many gorgeous reviews and requests to continue, here goes. The song quoted in Italics is "Baby You Can Sleep While I Drive" by Melissa Ethridge. If you have not bought her new greatest hits CD, go to your music purchasing place of choice and buy it.
They found Cassie and solved the murder of her family. She was recuperating and would soon travel to Oregon to live with her Aunt and cousins. The group had packed up the equipment and headed into their respective Tahoe's. Luckily no one had caught Grissom, and he and Sara had been lost enough in their own thoughts about the night before and the case that the others did not think anything of them sharing the car together alone. The guys had heard of Grissom and Sara's argument and figured that this was probably a good time for Grissom to apologize.
Grissom and Sara drove off. They sat in silence, neither knowing how to bring up the topic of what was said and heard the previous night. The relief of solving the case, and the fear of facing Sara led Grissom to doze off into a fitful sleep. He leaned to face the window and smiled as Sara turned the radio on low. He soon heard some quiet guitar notes and Sara silently singing along:
Come on baby let's
get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled
down
There's a chill in my bones
I don't want to be left
alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
He smiled inwardly and wondered how he could gather the courage to tell Sara what was in his heart. He loved her, and he wanted to take the next step but almost did not know where to begin. He just lay there with the morning sun dappling his face enjoying the sounds of Sara singing. At least while he pretended to doze, he could also pretend that she was singing to him.
Sara looked over at
Grissom while he was sleeping. She wondered if she should just
confess that she really did hear him the previous night. Part of her
realized that Grissom was ready to move forward, and part of her was
also afraid that pushing Grissom would cause a retreat, whether he
really wanted that retreat or not. Looking over at Grissom again,
she noticed that his cap had slipped a little. Sara liked him in his
cap best, although she was flattered that he still owned that
ridiculous straw hat she had won for him at a carnival in Berkley all
those years ago. Although, she still had the small stuffed dog that
Grissom had won for her. I'll buy you glasses in Texas
a hat from New Orleans
And in the morning you can tell me your
dreams
Grissom wondered if Sara had remembered that the straw hat he had taken to wearing lately was the hat she had won for him at a carnival, a few days before his seminar he was teaching ended. They had eaten too much fried dough and sat on the pier and talked about plans for the future, Grissom being brave enough to venture a return trip to Berkley or a trip to Vegas for Sara. He had hoped that she would see that hat as a sign, and maybe make the first move again to save him from his cowardice.
You know I've
seen it before
This mist that covers your eyes
You've been
looking for something
That's not in your life
With those lyrics Grissom thought about Sara's eyes and the secrets they held. Dark expressive eyes, that would prevent her from playing professional poker. He had seen the pain in her eyes for years now, but tried not to think about that pain, its origin and how much of it he was directly responsible for.
My intentions
are true
Won't you take me with you
And baby you can sleep
while I drive
Grissom thought of all the times that Sara had reached out and he had pushed away. He had told himself a million things, he was too old, too odd, too quiet, and that she could do better, should do better. But maybe, love did not work that way. Emotions were not rational, but Grissom was, and it was never his feelings for Sara that he doubted, just his worthiness of her love, and the fear of providing her with the ultimate disappointment. After last night, he realized that the only disappointment for Sara would be if he never made an effort at all.
Oh is it other
arms you want to
Hold you
The lover you're
free
Can't you get that with me
Sara wondered if Grissom knew her jealousy of Sofia, or Catherine, of the rumors she had heard about Lady Heather. She wanted to be Grissom's, but in a way that was easy to explain and identify. Maybe she should just tell Grissom that she loved him, and despite her best efforts, and his best efforts, would always love him, or would that scare him more.
If you won't take me with you
I'll go before
night is through
And baby you can sleep while I drive
At those lyrics, Grissom almost snapped awake. He remembered a few years ago after an explosion being told, "You know, by the time you figure it out, it could be too late." No yelling or hysterics like his other failed relationships. Just a simple statement of facts and a shrug. He knew, the alarm had gone off on their relationship before, and he had hit the snooze button repeatedly, with a plant, a hand hold, a compliment, a smile, and that last night was his last smack of the snooze button. If he did not act before the next alarm, he would have overslept and been irretrievably too late for 'this'.
Since he did not know what to say, he acted. Sara was a scientist, she could appreciate actions. He noticed her hand brushing some hair from her face. He woke, up, took his hand in hers and kissed it. Sara was surprised, but instead of pulling away, she lifted his hand to her lips and returned the kiss.
They sat holding hands, while Sara drove, looking eagerly into the promise of the day.
The End
A/N: This is really the end on this one. I need to finish Dominion or there is some circle of hell waiting for me.