" At least give me the honor taking you home"
" Can you drive a Gundam drunk"
" I can do lots of things drunk."
"What the Hell!" "Ooooh, no he didn't!" Yusuke glared at Neth and than back at Kagome, "What the Hell is wrong with you!" "What the Hell is matter with you, ass," she screamed over the music, "You don't own me!" "The fuck I don't!" They gave each other dirty looks while Neth contemplated going from Maury to Jerry Springer. Kagome gave him a nasty smile, "Oh, I see. So now the big, bad spirit detective owns me. Fucking unlucky that I wasn't informed!" He stomped his foot and swore, "Well you are now!" When he grabbed her arm, she instantly screamed, "Who do you think you are!" "The guy that's going to fuck your brains out," he growled. Kagome laughed, "You have to get through Surrian, Aubrey and all the rest of them first." For a moment he was unnerved by the thought of a pissed off Surrian but decided he'd take his chances. Seeing the look on his face, Kagome suddenly didn't feel as safe. "Um...S-Surrian?" Surrian had a book over her face and was sprawled out in exhaustion, "Vat! The alcohol is over there, leave me alone you damned teenagers!" Kagome whimpered, "Oh, God..." Yusuke threw back his mane of long, white hair and cackled maniacally, "God can't help you now!" Somewhere up there, God put down his newspaper and raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?" Despite the sudden and random flash of lightening that struck him, Yusuke was determined...even though some of him was smoldering and a few hairs were still on fire. Kagome stuck her tongue out at him, regaining her confidence, "Ha ha, told you so!" "Stick that tongue out again and I'll bite it," he growled, struggling to put out his poor hair. So she did. And he did. And now we have two very pissed off, very horny people storming off into the woods with a bleeding tongue and frying hair.
"You probably should have helped Kagome," Aubrey whispered, standing suddenly besides Surrian.
She grunted, "I would have but the child wanted it. I'm not gonna dive in between a fire ball and a fiery demon and wrestle them apart when they both want it."
Aubrey flinched, feeling cold inside, "Oh? And what if he hurts her?"
Groaning, the Rostov ripper threw the book on her face to the side and gave him a look. "He won't."
"You just don't bloody care, do you," he snarled, losing his temper for the first time in a long time.
"Don't yell at me," she whispered, eyes flashing dangerously.
The British man gave her the nastiest look he could, "You're a bitch."
"Oh, shut up," she mumbled, nonchalantly casting his anger away, "I would never let any of my children be hurt."
For a moment he was as quiet as death.
Than, very quietly, he muttered, "Than why do you let yourself hurt me?..."
Making a noise of disdain she stood and strode away, him following close behind, "If you hate me so much, no one is forcing you to stay, Aubrey."
"I don't hate you. I hate how we are forced to live together"
At her silence, he shook his head desperately, "I don't, I couldn't hate you even if I tried. What I hate is how I have to pretend that I don't -"
"Stop," she warned, shoulders tensing.
"Let me finish, damnit," he angrily snarled.
Surrian threw her hands up as though to shield herself, "No. I don't have to stand here and listen to this. Goodnight."
Before she could turn and leave, as she had done for all these twenty years they had known each other, he lost it.
Aubrey grabbed her, forgetting to be gentle and crushed her into him. "I can't..."
Shocked as she was she couldn't even muster the thought to push him off, "W-What in the name of sugar?"
Burying his face in her hair, he slowly and lamentably let his body tremble as he knew it would were this moment ever to happen.
"Don't you get it...don't you understand you infuriating little psychopath!"
Twenty years and he never could say it. Not once.
It didn't change much now.
"Understand what," she cried out impatiently, finally trying to pull from his tight hold.
"I need you," he whispered, rocking her in his arms gently.
Even a beautiful, tender moment could sail over Surrian's head completely.
"Need me...to do what?"
"By God, you're maddening," he yelled, finally bringing himself to laugh.
"Don't laugh at me," she protested angrily, stomping her boot angrily, "it's not funny to speak in riddles to someone, damnit!"
His laughter increased helplessly, "You...Your so dense!"
Surrian bit her lip, looked away in hurt and walked quickly off.
Suddenly, Aubrey thought it might not have been so appropriate to have laughed at her...though it was a daunting task for anyone.
"H-Hey, now, what did I do?" He felt his eyebrows raise in surprise as she stomped her boot repeatedly into the ground, swearing loudly in Russian.
"You think it's so funny," she yelled at him, "there's nothing funny about kissing other girls than laughing at me!"
Aubrey felt his mouth drop open in shock, "Now wait just a bloody moment!"
Shaking her head and ranting, she spun around and continued to storm off dramatically...unfortunately, it wasn't quite as emotional as she had wished.
Hence the little blonde pirate elf, "Oooooohhhhh!"
"What about all the people you've shoved your tongue into, damnit! I may have been kissed a few times, but damnit -"
He might as well have set off a bomb in a room full of highly dangerous wolverines while drinking poison.
"A FEW TIMES!"
"Oh...bloody Hell," he muttered, sweeping his hand back into his hair.
Pain was expected. Highly potent mixtures of agony, pain, death, blood and Russian profanities was what he was prepared for.
Though, after he saw what happened next he almost wished she had let loose on him like the psycho she was.
Instead, her expression turned sad and tilted towards the ground as though tired. "That's...not funny," was all she whispered.
"At least I didn't kiss the detective," he blurted out, instantly regretting it.
Maury moment: "OH NO HE DID NOT JUST GO THERE!"
Surrian went blank for a moment, silent and thoughtful.
"...I...I didn't mean it, love. Really, it just sort of slipped..."
"Aubrey," she said flatly, "you're fired."
Even Neth couldn't do anything but let his mouth hit the ground.
His eyes widened, "You can't fire me! You can't even live without me!"
"I know...that's the point. Good night, I'll send for your things in the morning," she said blankly, turning again.
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
She let out a tiny cry as he pulled her back, spun her around and gave her the hardest, hottest kiss possible.
Whoa, now, she thought frantically, this can't be right.
A small moan escaped her as the stud in his tongue touched hers roughly.
It's not right...but why does it feel right...
He gave a small cry of protest as she threw him to the ground and pinned him. "Whoa now, little missy. I think maybe..." Hawkeye cackled, "I love your little cowboy talk. It's so adorable!" All he could think while she tore his shirt off was, Damn do I ever wish I was Scottish right now...eh Hell, who am I kidding. I love it! Pistol lolled his head back in a vivid sigh as she bit at one of his nipples. "G-God, woman..." She ran her fingers through his hair, separating the shiny golden blonde from a braid into a long, curly mane. Though she had initially planned a quick rough, wild and short, Pistol seemed to have other ideas. Sitting up, he gently gathered her in his arms and kissed her; not as if she were a tough, brutal dominatrix but a sweet, innocent young lady. "Who told you that you could take control," she griped, giving him a sharp tap on the head. Chuckling lightly, Pistol planted kisses all across her face until she finally calmed in his arms. "A cowboy always treats a lady with respect and dignity." "Shut up and keep going," she groaned near his ear. Pistol shivered with want and pushed his hands into the crease of her shirt. "You're beautiful," he breathed out as her bra fell away under his shaking hands. Her hair came undone as her fumbling hands quickly pulled the tie away and tossed it uselessly to the side. Hawkeye stood with Pistol as he did and let him walk her back against the soft bark of a weeping willow. His lips were so hot and soft it almost dazed her. Forcing her tongue in his mouth, the lieutenant wrestled his poor, sensitive tongue raw. Pistol tossed his head back and moaned as her hand found it's way down his boot cut jeans. "H-Hell!"
"Damn, boy," she whispered, feeling him inch by inch.
"You little pervert," he exclaimed, neck bending to watch her hand.
Hawkeye smiled helplessly at his hot, cute little blush, "Aw, what's wrong cowboy?"
"I'm not in you," he groaned out, "that's what's wrong!"
She blushed hotly, "Down, cow poke."
Pistol chuckled, "Alrighty."
While she was surprised he pounced and took her to the ground with him.
The woman let out a weak cry of protest as he pushed his hand inside her pants roughly, "Ah, damn! I may shoot you if you don't cut it out!"
"It's worth it, damnit!"
He let his slender, angel fingers slowly push inside, one by one, little by little.
"Are you a virgin," he asked softly, seeing her slightly pained look.
Groaning, she tossed her head from side to side in bliss, "W-What business is it of yours?"
Smiling tenderly, he pumped his fingers inside of her in quick, rough strokes until she threw back her head and cried, "O-Ok! Yes, I'm a virgin!"
Just to spite him, she reached back inside his pants and gave him a squeeze.
"F-Fuck," he groaned, pressing himself into her soft hand.
They both took a moment to calm themselves and the hot, openly aching selves of their body.
"P-Pistol," she whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.
Kissing her tenderly, Pistol pulled back for a moment and touched her face gently, "I...I promise I'll be gentle..."
Hawkeye flushed as he laid her back in the soft, perfect grass and slowly parted her legs. "Easy now."
She watched helplessly as he slipped his jeans and underwear down slowly, "Holy God above..."
Sitting up, she grabbed his manhood and stroked him until he was wet and throbbing.
"Lay back and I'll do my best not to hurt you," he promised in a lust choked voice. When she insisted on fondling him, he groaned and pushed her back.
"W-Wait, Pistol I..."
"It's ok, little lady," he promised quietly.
Closing her eyes, she felt his head crowd her entrance. "Pistol!"
"Hush, now..."
Oh God, he's so gentle, she thought as he slowly thrust in.
"Ohhh!"
His sun kissed face slowly lined in pleasure, "A-Am I hurting you?"
Hawkeye shook her head urgently, "Keep going!"
Something in him snapped. Without even thinking, he slammed into her over and over violently. Screaming, she pounded her hips upward into his, meeting every stroke as though it were a competition to see who could scream the loudest.
So far, she was winning.
"Oh, God. Pistol!"
He shivered and moaned, "H-Hold on little lady..."
Sweat poured off of their bodies. Time had slipped by them so vaguely it seemed as if only minutes had passed.
Hawkeye arched up as a agonizingly blissful sensation took over her, "I'm-!"
Pistol timed it perfectly. He thrust in every time she contracted with literally no seconds missed.
A loud groan escaped him as he came hotly and hardly inside, crying her name to keep from passing out with pleasure.
"T-Thank you, Pistol," she sighed, appreciative that he was laying down to cuddle his beautiful, glistening body against hers.
Smiling, he touched her face again before slipping off into a soft, happy sleep...
"MUSTANG!" The entire island could here all of a sudden.
Roy's eyebrow twitched with mild interest, "Ooh, seems I'm in trouble."
Sure enough, one short, fiery full metal alchemist came storming out of the woods.
He had and angry tick developing right above his eye, "You godamn, cocky son of a bitch! How dare you put your nasty ass lips on me -!"
For a while, Roy just nodded and smiled while the little alchemist went on a bitch rant.
"You talk to much, shorty," Roy laughed, throwing an arm casually about Ed's shoulders.
Instantly, he was on another of his infamous rants about him not being short, fuck you Mustang, I hope you and your children burn and so on.
God, his angry little temper gets me so hot, he thought, studying Ed from head to toe with interest.
Before the full metal could complete his evil little curse Roy had shoved him up against the nearest tree and claimed his mouth in what had to be Ed's first kiss other then Surrian.
"You know you want me," he purred right on the most tender areas of Ed's ear.
"Damn you, Mustang," he groaned, tilting his head down so the other man could reach all of the best places.
"How do you want it," Roy teased in a sexy whisper, "I know you'll only let me do it the way you want."
"Wha Da you mean?" Ed breathed as Roy continued to assault his neck. "I...I.." Ed started again but had to stop due to the hands that buried themselves in his now unbound hair.
" Why the hell is my hair out? Are you even listeninggggggg." His almost rant was cut short as Roy's other hand entered his pants and squeezed his not so little man. "That is not yours to TOUCH!"