Every bird on the island took off in a panic. Every little tree animal fell out of the tree, chattering and cursing angrily.

And of course...Aubrey was helping Surrian out of the lake, but upon hearing the wild screams he dropped her in shock.

SPLASH!

"Aubrey, you son of a bitch!"

He took one look at her and almost popped a vein laughing.

Nearby, the exhausted demon and the quite sore priestess watched as a squirrel tumbled from the tree.

It shook it's paw in a fist at them and chattered furiously.

Neither of them were sure, but it probably flipped them off before scampering back up the tree.

Yusuke collapsed on her, smiling shakily, "God, Surrian is a psycho to have created talking squirrels with enough attitude to flip the bird."

All Kagome could say was, "Hate...you...so...much."

"Alright, alright. Don't hurt yourself," he laughed, nuzzling his face into her reddened neck.

"...Aren't you going to untie me now?"

"Nope."

"Fuck you, Yusuke!"

"You already did. Give me a break, I'm only demon."

"Are you ever going to stop laughing at me and HELP ME THE FUCK OUT!"

Aubrey sniggered helplessly behind his hand, "Don't know. I may just leave you in there for awhile. Wouldn't want to disappoint that snake after all."

Surrian gave him a dirty look, still wondering why he had let her tumble from his arms into the damned lake.

"I blame you if I get sick and die," she griped, struggling to stay afloat as she continued to sneeze wildly from Kagome's curse.

He smiled tenderly at her, "You look cute like that, Surrian..."

The water bubbled with her glare, "No is cute! Damnit, I am the Rostov ripper, not some cute little Russian you all get to pick on when you please!"

Throwing his head back, the Brit laughed until she roared with anger and pulled him into the lake with her.

"Aw, now why did you have to go and do that? My make up is running all over the bloody place," he complained, wiping the black from under his eyes in annoyance.

"Serves you right."

For a moment both were quiet. They both still couldn't forget the kiss which had ended up in the lake; literally.

"...Aubrey?"

Still wiping his face, he softly responded, "Yes, love?"

Shit, she's going to ask why I kissed her...damn, damn, damn! I have no idea what the Hell to say!

Wincing, he braced himself for a question he knew he had no answer to.

"...You have a hole in your pants."

Yet again, every little animal that lived in the trees crashed to the ground.

Aubrey's mouth fell open in complete and utter shock.

"Nice underwear, by the way," she cackled, squeezing the water from her long, black hair.

"Well, I take pride in my Deputy Dog boxers," he chuckled lightly, somewhat relieved but more so pained.

Did my kiss not even faze her...or does she just not care?

Depression crashed over him. "...Surrian."

"Da?"

He didn't say anymore but she could instantly tell he was hurting from the way his shoulders slumped.

"Aubrey, what is being wrong?..." Still, all she got was silence.

Wading across the width between them, Surrian wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him.

"Oh, Surrian-," he whispered as he shut his eyes to heighten the feel of her.

"Here," she mumbled quietly, "let's get you out of those."

Turning him to face her, the Russian bent slowly and unzipped his soaking wet cargos.

Aubrey let out a slow purr and blushed as her face came level to his hardening self.

Surrian blinked as his hips bucked lightly against her face; when she turned her face back up to him, her lips had turned in a devilish smirk.

He shivered as she stood, folded his pants neatly than waded off to go place them on the shore to dry.

Damn, I'm so hard...I can't let her notice. Surrian's so naive and oblivious to sex she won't know what just happened, but if she sees me like this...

Aubrey slowly lowered his hand back into the water, turned his back to Surrian and prayed she didn't notice.

"C'mon," he moaned in a whisper, stroking himself quickly. There was no way Surrian could find out how badly he ached to just throw her down in a bed and make her scream. It would ruin everything they had together.

"Are you alright," he heard her call in a soft, concerned tone.

"F-Fine," he wheezed out, hips jerking upon hearing her voice. Embarrassment blazed over his face at the realization that she could make him cum just by speaking hit.

"You are being sure? You sound odd."

Of course I sound odd, he thought angrily, I'm so aroused I could cry and it's all your fault!

"Don't worry about me, love," he called back, trembling by now, "I'm fine."

Waves broke in the water suddenly; she was returning.

Damnit, no! She can't know! F-Fuck, think about non sexy things. Um, um, damn...

The Brit tried to picture numerous things; Pistol in a dress, sleeping with Gabrie or Sabrie and so on. It would have done the trick except every unpleasant thought turned to a thought about Surrian.

How soft she was...how her hair smelled like lavender after she showered and he curled up with her in bed. The way she would moan when he'd give her a back rub or her delicate fingers returning the favor to him.

His neck arched back in a near scream that was only kempt by biting down on his lip, "Oh, bloody Hell!"

Right on the damned edge and than everything fell apart for him. "Aubrey?"

Surrian's hands touched his shoulder and turned him back to face her. She raised an eyebrow at the flushed look on his face and the way his chest was struggling to take in air.

"W-What on Earth? Oh, Aubrey...I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry."

"I-I'm n-not-," he began weakly, praying to God she didn't touch his neck, ears or hair.

A split second later he was wishing she had touched him. Her hands reached down to take his hands so she could stroke his knuckles with her thumbs, as she had always done when he was upset.

"...Oh, my."

He groaned as she cupped his erection and felt him, little by little. "What is this?"

"D-Disease," he lied, unable to tear his eyes from her hand.

Surrian bent, against his will but obedient to his wishes, and slipped his boxers to his ankles. "What sort of disease is this?"

Aubrey felt numerous things wash over him as she touched his manhood questioningly; unbearable pleasure, disbelief, lust, and wild anger.

Who was this woman to torment and taunt him with her beauty!

Without thinking, he let out a wild scream, grabbed her face and pressed his throbbing head into her cheek.

He screamed all of her names as he came. "My Surrian, my doctor, my Rostov ripper, oh God, my angel!"

After a moment, he slowly let go of her face after every drop had left him.

Surrian gazed up at him in amazement, touching the white on her face curiously. "Eh?"

His mouth dropped open with utter awe at what he done, "Oh, love...I'm so sorry."

Shakily and quickly, he waded past her to where is cargos lay and fished a handkerchief from the pocket. "Bad, Aubrey...stupid Aubrey, what were you thinking!"

Giving a dismal sigh, he returned hurriedly to her side and dabbed the cloth on her face. "I'm so, so, sorry..."

She gave him a blank look, obviously not understanding what he had just done at all. "You're disease is still there."

Aubrey blushed, "Oh..."

"No, no," she whispered as he made to turn, run and never look back, "let me cure you. I am a doctor after all."

Who in the Hell is giving me this crazy dream, he thought in a daze as she guided his back against the shore and bent down to aid his painfully swollen self.

His body shook despite him. "S-Surrian..."

The doctor, his doctor, softly stroked his cock with her fingertips, "It's Ok. Don't be embarrassed by an illness."

"It's not an illness," he admitted weakly, "it's twenty years full of repressed lust and want."

"Really? What happens to twenty years of repressed love?"

As his whole world fell apart Aubrey blushed hotly, "Y-You knew..."

Surrian slithered up his body to her full height and gave him her infamous Cheshire smile, "It's hard not to notice you groaning my name for twenty years in the shower."

At his silence she chuckled, wiping some of his cum from her cheek, "You're a kinky little bastard."

Bowing his head, he nodded so she wouldn't notice the tears, "Right than...I guess I'm fired..."

"Aubrey...kiss me again."

In all irony she might as well have knocked him over the head with a squirrel he was so surprised. "W-What!"

Leaning forward she gave him a beguiling, pleading look, "Please..."

"S-S-Surrian...do you lo-"

She kissed him before he could finish. Instantly his arms had flown up and trapped her to him lest she changed her mind.

I love you, I love you so much, his mind cried desperately. His hands slowly left her shoulder blades and went to tugging her black coat down.

A small whimper escaped her, "D-Don't...I don't want you to see me..."

Aubrey grunted and tore her coat away like it was paper, "I...I have to have you now. No more holding back, no more repressing. I want to hear you scream."

Backing her up he pressed her gently on to the shore and kissed her.

"Let me make love to you," he begged into her cries.

Surrian shivered as she watched him reach inside her discarded coat and withdraw a pair of handcuffs. "Do...Do I have a choice?"

In the blink of an eye he had her cuffed to the trunk of a tree.

Lightly chuckling, he spread her legs and stroked his thumbs along the sensitive insides of her thighs, "You've made me explode uncontrollably for twenty years now. I think it's time I returned the favor."

"Godamn, fucking shit," she swore angrily, "cuffing people to stuff is something I do, damnit!"

She moaned suddenly as he ran his tongue stood along the corners of her panties, "Aubrey..."

"I love you," he purred, "I won't hurt you."

"Just...w-wait, I don't know what to do," she whimpered bashfully.

He kissed her inner thigh tenderly, "Lay back and enjoy it, love."

Tugging her panties down, he brushed his finger tips over her most delicate areas.

"Ahh, Aubrey..," she sighed, head arching back. His fingers were skilled and merciless; he was her total opposite, a non virgin.

"Mm, you're tight," he groaned, sliding one finger in. She's a virgin...oh, sweet God. I finally get to make love to my sweet, virgin Surrian...

After a moment of gentle groans and trembling bodies, he slid another finger in and pumped her.

"Please, Aubrey," she moaned, "I want to pleasure you too!"

"Trust me, love, you're doing a good job just by groaning my name like that."

Surrian became wetter around his fingers. She had become near hysterical by the time he slid in a third.

"Here comes my fatality, doctor."

"W-Wha...?" That was she managed to get out before he took the stud in his tongue to her throbbing clit.

"Oh, holy Hell, Aubrey!" She moaned it loudly as he lifted her legs on to his shoulders.

It's all so perfect...I want everything to be perfect for her first time...

His tongue encircled her, filled her and drove her to the points even beyond insanity. "A-Aubrey!"

Aubrey held on to her tightly as she convulsed about wildly in high ecstasy, muttering gentle things to her and planting small kisses across her face.

"P-Please...un-cuff me."

Of course, he obliged. "Calm down...calm down, it's ok." He rocked her in his arms for a long, blissful moment. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll be more gentle."

Laying her back, he gently touched her face and gave her a tender look, "Surrian?"

She trembled roughly as he aligned his hips with hers, "A-Aubrey..."

Moaning softly, he thrust in very, very slightly. She muffled her cry into his lips as they came down firmly on hers.

"I've wanted you for so long," he gasped out as the wall between them broke with another stroke.

" You have me," she quietly screamed back, neck arching in pain.

He took a moment to let her calm her body, murmuring quietly in both pain and pleasure.

They kissed again, biting and attacking each other's tongues until they were bleeding and raw.

The Brit growled as she caught his nipple in her mouth, "Oh, you bad girl."

Thrusting again, he took an odd satisfaction in seeing her cry out weakly and hold on to him tightly. "P-Please, not so r-rough..."

She's so delicate and tender...is the big, bad Rostov ripper really so innocent and sensitive?

Again, he pushed in quickly. "There, now. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"D-Don't...," she begged in a teary whimper.

"Don't what, love?"

Her beautiful face twisted from side to side, flushed with pain and want, "D-Don't ruin this moment...Please, I've wanted to be with you all this time..."

Aubrey blushed, shut his eyes and slid in all the way with quite a lot of difficulty.

As he hit her very center, they both let out a shuddery gasp and his eyes became like glass.

"T-...Than be with me..."

Both of them gave a sharp cry as he slammed in and out of her repeatedly.

Every churn led him to feel new levels of high he had never felt even from drugs or alcohol.

He held her down to his desperate thrusts and moans; every bit of him was unleashing an animal he never knew he had on the poor girl.

"S-Surrian," he howled as another climax threw him into a dark, violent whirlpool of ecstasy.

From far away, she screamed and contracted around him.

And, as if it were that simple, he was rocking her tightly in his arms and weeping. "I'm sorry...we'll take it much more slowly next time, I promise."

She gave him a terrified look as he rolled her over on all fours, "W-Wait just a minute here!"

"It's ok. I promise this time, it won't hurt."

"B-But...oh God, please just go slow this time," she whimpered, clenching every muscle she had tightly.

Aubrey was not at all good at keeping his promises.

Poor Surrian had to scream his name for the whole island to hear at least seven more times before he finally stopped.

"...God...I never thought it would be this good," he whispered, lovingly holding on to her. He was still paranoid that she would run from him were he to let go.

"..."

"Surrian?"

All she could do was twitch helplessly, "B-Body...sore."

Laughing, he kissed her tenderly than pulled her in to cuddle, "Oh, love...I'm sorry. You know I love you."

Her eye twitched, "...Sore, owie, achey, bad, painful...eh..."

They kissed again, this time she returned it a bit more enthusiastically.

"Don't leave me ever again," he begged, unable to keep his eyes shut any longer.

Surrian nuzzled his chest a bit, "I won't as long as you don't kill me in bed."

"Ow...ow...ow...ow...owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"Oh, shut up and take it like a man."

"Well, Aubrey...in case you didn't notice- !"

He shook his head in disbelief, chuckled and brushed a kiss over her cheek. "Morning to you too."

"Owwwww! Don't move me," she whined.

The Brit just laughed again and cuddled her closer, "Come along, love. We can either get breakfast or we can skip pleasantries and go wake up the grumpy brats- er...kids."

"Godamn son of a, British little mother..."

"What is it, love," he asked, startled by the look on her face.

"I can't move my legs..."

Even he couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh uncontrollably at the pathetic, big eyed look on her face.

Surrian fumed silently, grumbling in Russian and English and random bits of other odd languages no one was sure how she had stumbled upon.

Picking her up, Aubrey kissed her gently and helped her into his oversized, Slipknot shirt and her slightly torn panties.

"Come along, let's go see how the others are doing."

As they stumbled across the giant Epion Gundam, Aubrey raised his eyebrow, "Hm, I thought Traize and Relena went home last night."

Surrian looked up weakly, "I hear breathing up ahead. From the mumbling about cookies and such I'd guess that would be Pistol. I'm gonna go check on him."

She hobbled off, swearing loudly as random things popped and creaked.

Aubrey looked back to the Gundam, shrugged and began to leave.

Not before the giant robot creaked a bit. The faint sounds of, "Oh my God!"

came from somewhere inside the giant's head.

"I beg your pardon?"

The robot creaked again and for some unknown reason the head tilted down towards him at a sharp speed. "Oh my God, harder!"

His eyebrow twitched, "Sorry. I'm flattered but I don't swing towards giant robots."

With that, he walked off, leaving a very sad, rejected robot.

Pistol snored loudly, his cowboy hat pulled down over his eyes and Hawkeye's hands wrapped around his throat.

She twitched, mumbled and sleep strangled him for a second before becoming peaceful again.

"Aw," Surrian cooed, "you can bet she'll be aching below the belt, eh?"

Her assistant strode up to her, clearing his throat in slight interest.

"Where were you?"

"I was getting the moves put on me by a giant robot."

They each wrapped an arm around the other as Hawkeye punched Pistol in the gut than rolled over.

"Aww, they are simply delicious together," he said, giving her a squeeze.

"Think she'll kill him?"

"Oh, but of course."

"On to the next victim of alcohol?"

"Indeed."

"Ooooh, dear...now that is one Hell of a fruit cocktail," Aubrey said, chuckling behind his hand.

Two twins and a poor little blonde boy somewhere amidst the random limbs sticking out here and there.

Surrian popped a few hairs, "They seduced my Al!"

"But they didn't seduce your Aubrey," he pointed out, winking.

All she did was shrug, "Eh. If you had been drunk enough that would so be you in there."

He gave her a sharp smack on the ass than ran off laughing as she howled in pain and anger.

Shaking her fist, she ran off after him completely oblivious to the squirrel near her shaking it's fist and ranting.

"NOOOO! MY CHAIR! MY PINK FLUFFY CHAIR!"

She tore at her hair, pacing around like a wild animal, "I'll never get the blood or the- aw, damnit it all to the coldest pits of Hell!"

Her sex slave just laughed, "Oh, dear. It brings to mind all those little fantasies that chair caused, wouldn't you say so, Surrian?"

"MY DAMN CHAIR!"

"Not to mention your spirit detective and priestess," he pointed out lightly, "God knows neither of them will work after that."

Grumbling, Surrian left Kagome and Yusuke to hate and love each other while Aubrey quite specifically told her all about his little fantasies.

In vivid detail, I might add.

"So, so far we've found the twins, Al, Yusuke, Kagome, Pistol and Hawkeye. Not much more to go, love. As soon as we find them all you can rest your poor lower areas on some ice."

She gave him a dirty look, "Are you trying to say something!"

"Why, yes. From now on I really will be fucking a frigid b-"

SMACK!

He rubbed his face where he now had a black eye, "Well...that was totally uncalled for."

The Brit ended up apologizing the rest of the trip while she limped away, growling at him if he got too close.

Soon, they stumbled upon the red haired ring master and Cyreina cuddling together lovingly.

Out of all the couples they had found so far, those two seemed the most comfortable and tender.

"Well, at least they had a sweet, gentle night," Surrian muttered, growling as Aubrey tried to touch her.

"You know I love you," he said quietly, looking down at the floor sadly.

"Start acting like it, than," she spat.

Embracing her from behind, he kissed the nape of her neck until she finally calmed, "I'm sorry."

"Are all men as stupid as you?"

"Yup," he said easily, "that's what makes us so cute."

"Some more than others," he added, doing a pose with a devilish smile.

Surrian laughed despite herself, "Ooh, I hate how I can't stand you."

"Yes, that's right! You cannot resist me!"

Grabbing her, he grinned feral, "So quickly. Come satisfy your longing for the all sexy and powerful British man!"

"Brits aren't THAT sexy."

"Yes we are. Shut up."

They laughed together and decided to be cheesy enough to hold hands as they continued to scope out the rest of the young (and hang over stricken) lovers.

The last to be found was