Author's notes and warnings:  I hope this chapter finds you all well? *peaks from behind Ceilen*  Sorry it took so long, but if you've received my mail, you know why…  Oh, why must life interfere with fanfic writing, ne? *sigh*

I had originally wanted to do a flashback chapter but wasn't comfortable with it exactly.  Up until now we've been seeing the story through Tryffin's POV and I'm not planning to change that.  I love how no one really knows what Ceilen is thinking.  *evil laugh*  But I do want all of you to see his past so I hope you like how I did it.  Special thanks to Xellas for the wonderful idea…I was struggling for a while.

No Kouji and Chiriko in this chapter…I couldn't fit them in but they will definitely be in the WK version.  Youji and Omi will end up working with them.

Thank you all my wonderful reviewers and those that wrote to me.  I couldn't and probably wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for all of you. 

Space Cat:  Ah…it's been three months so I'm guessing you're better?  Heh heh heh…  Thank you so much for your really, really nice review.  So glad that I can make your day…  ^_^

Xellas:  Thank you!  You know the journal was all your idea!  This chapter is for you…er…well, this whole fic is for you, ne?  Love you!

Bakachan:  LOL.  I ALWAYS enjoy your reviews and your mails.  You are just too sweet.  *hugs bakachan and Wubear*  Thank you for being so supportive and I'm happy you like the chapter. 

Eeyaatoe:  LOL.  Yeah, WK sections seem to be a little ahead, ne?  That's why you guys here are so special!  Thank you so much for keeping up with the chapters.  I know I take much longer than some authors to write but I hope everyone enjoy the story just the same.

Ambika-san:  How is school, sweetie?  Have time to write anything lately?  Thank you for your comments.  I know my Chiri is a bit…er…odd but that's how I like him. So glad you do too! ^_^  And say something in Japanese, no da!!!  You're still taking that, right?

Firekat:  Thank you!  Quite a bit of his past will be revealed in this chapter through various means…  I hope you like the Ceilen that Tryffin stumbled across…  ^_^

Akennea:  Writing, no da!  Thank you for reviewing!  Tryffin's gonna break SOMEthing, that's for sure but I don't know if it's gonna be Ceilen's wall…  ^^;;

Hcbenitez:  Thank you!  Not all of his past will be revealed just yet but you'll see a more playful and happy Ceilen… The monitor is complicated and that will also come out later.  He has a lot of frustration in him…^^;; And Tryffin sure isn't helping, ne?

Sakata:  Which fics?  The YGO one, the FY one and you know you have lots of those, right?  As a fan, I demand several updates, no da!!  ^_^    Er…okay, I'll beg…how's that?  With big puppy dog eyes?

Midori:  I can totally see a chibi Chichiri when you're petting him.  So cute, de gozaru!  ^_^  How are you?  Thanks for keeping up with my little ficcie…I truly appreciate it.  And as soon as I can 'see' Aoshi with Soujirou, I'll write that fic, okay?  ^_^

Ashen Skies:  *big starry eyes*  Nani…you have a Moonraven flag?  *giggles*  Thank you!  I hope you like what I did to reveal Ceilen in this chapter…

Kitsuna-Ri:  ^_^.  Yeah, I love flashbacks too…  But I opted for a different approach… I hope you'll enjoy it just as much.  Thank you for your thoughts.

Hana no Ceres:  Yeah, Ceilen's got issues… *shakes head*  I seem to love doing that to my poor Chiri, ne?  Sorry you didn't like Shinji-kun… He is a Kritiker agent…a killer, ne?  They can get…odd, I suppose.  ^_^ 

Fallen Wind: Yeah…Ceilen was a bad boy.  I do dump on him a lot…his pot is quite full in this story, I'm afraid.  Hopefully you'll like him better later on?  --__--;;  Thank you for your review!

JC:  *Blushes*  Thank you!  I'm so glad you like it.  I'm sorry it took so long but I really hope the next update won't be.  I do get bogged down during the holidays.  ^_^

Zeto:  There, there…*pets Zeto*  I'm sorry I Ceilen was so mean. *glares at Ceilen*  He'll be nicer, I promise.  *hugs*

Krysana:  LOL.  Okay, moto-chan.  Now that I've posted, I can go write another Ran/Ken chapter, ne?  Now at least you know what happen when Ken heard that loud boom, huh?  *giggles*  That boy is worst than a level five hurricane, I tell you.  *hugs*  Thanks for everything, baby! 

Cindy Poo:  Thanks for the Pocky! *munches happily*  Glad you like the chapter.  I love Waffy things too!!! *glomps*  So expect more in the future, okay?  *huggles*

Whisper Reilman:  ROFL.  Literally!  OMG, I absolutely love reading your reviews, all…er…three of them!  LOL.  Thank you SO much. And I really enjoyed your mails too.  How are things going for you?  I hope you're all settled? And I did promise you the shirtless edition, right?  I haven't forgotten…but now it looks like we're up to four bishounens san shirts, no da…  I hope that's alright with you?

Celeste1:  LOL.  Anou…are you still jumping?  O_o;;  And why did your friend not want you to watch FY?  Nani?  Chichiri-sama is reason enough to watch it, na no daaaa….  And Tas-chan's little fangs…very irresistible…  ^_~  Let me know if yougave in and DO watch it, okay?  Thank you!!!

Sirrah:  *hugs*  Thank you!  I remember how wonderfully supportive you've been since my very first story… In fact, a lot of my current reviewers have been with me all this time. *warm fuzzy feelings*  You guys make me feel very special.  Thank you, Sirrah…  Um…do you know that your email address listed on FF.net is invalid?  I tried to mail you to let you know when I update but it always come back…  Anyway, I'm happy you still like my writing.  Thanks again!

SLL:  Silly Ceilen…  Hurting oneself is never good, ne? *shakes head*  Hopefully he'll get over it… Thank you for your review!  Glad you like it!

Kouryou Sanomi:  Glad you're not to upset with him. ^_^   Hm…unfortunately Ceilen did mean to hurt, but that's because he doesn't know how else to push people away…you're right, it is necessary for him.  ^_^  He's really sorry, though.

Atki:  --__--;;  Updated, no da…  Arigatou!

The usual disclaimer where I don't own them goes here…

An exceptionally special thanks to Hitari-chan for betaing goes here…

And Xellas wanted me to write a warning to all fangirls for the seriously sexy tension between these guys. It is very hard on a poor fangirl's heart and someone may get hurt.  There!  Did I quote that right, Xellas?  ^_^

Enjoy, everybody!!!!






A Fine Line – FY: Chapter 7 – Of Breakfast Congees and Killer Tomatoes

By Moonraven

(Day four mid-morning)

"You want me to eat THAT?" Tryffin eyed the bowl of something Ceilen placed in front of him uncertainly. "It looks like baby food."

Ceilen glared at Tryffin then thrust a spoon across the small table at him. "You must have heard of congee, it's Chinese porridge. You do have Chinese food in Japan, don't you?"

Tryffin didn't look up from his bowl but poked at the creamy content gingerly with the spoon. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know every Chinese dish, you know. And you talk like you don't live in Japan." Then realizing that maybe Ceilen didn't, Tryffin looked up suddenly. "You DO live in Japan, don't you?"

Ceilen sat down in the chair across the table from Tryffin, his eyes carefully maintained on his own bowl. "I live in many places." He said quietly before picking up his spoon and dug into his congee.

Tryffin watched as Ceilen carefully blew on the hot content before putting the spoon in his mouth. The redhead made a face; congee looked like runny oatmeal and he'd never liked oatmeal.

"What?" Ceilen sighed and looked up from his meal expectantly. When he saw Tryffin's face, he frowned. "Just try it."

"What did you put in it?" Tryffin swirled the spoon around in his bowl and bits of meat, vegetables and some dark unidentifiable things moved about. Tryffin peered closer at his bowl and scooped up the dark 'something'.

"Why? Do you want the recipe?" Ceilen went back to eating his congee and Tryffin had to admit that the man made it looked pretty tasty.

"I just wanna know what I'm eating." Tryffin grumbled.

"Chicken, scallions, ginger and preserved eggs." Ceilen said between spoonfuls. "Now eat. The ginger will help to settle your stomach. You don't seem to be doing well on boats."

"No shit!" Tryffin muttered. "Took you long enough to figure it out." Although he was no longer a mess, he still wasn't comfortable when left alone. That damn Ceilen made it sound like he was queasy or something.

With a final scowl at his bodyguard, Tryffin dug into the congee… and found that it was quite delicious. "Hey, I didn't know you could cook." He took another spoonful and made appreciative noises. "Not bad."

"Thank you." Ceilen muttered and continued to eat his breakfast.

"So, what's the agenda for today?" Tryffin asked as he munched on the black 'something' that he figured was the preserved egg. It tasted like nothing really. He wondered absently why it was there in the first place.

"I have work to do. You can do whatever you like." Ceilen didn't bother to look at him and was rapidly finishing his congee. The man sure was in a hurry to leave him.

"I'd like to go home." Tryffin pointed out. "Can I do that?"

Ceilen paused and took a deep breath. "No."

"Okay. I'd like to help you. How 'bout that?"

Ceilen frowned into his bowl but didn't answer right away. He paused for a brief moment then shook his head. "It's pretty boring and there are some things I'm working on that are probably better for you if you don't know about them."

"Ah… dangerous secret agent stuff." Tryffin nodded knowingly, his eyes narrowed as he studied Ceilen. "Like I'm not in danger now, right?"

Ceilen sighed. "It's not just you. Other people may be in danger as well if YOU can't keep the information to yourself."

"Oh." Tryffin felt bad about that. He didn't want anyone getting hurt because of him. "I just…" He trailed off, not sure of what to say. He wanted to do something to keep his mind busy, and he wanted to be useful to Ceilen as well as be near the man. None of which was appealing to his bodyguard. Tryffin sighed and pushed the bowl away. Life sucked.

Sensing his discontent, Ceilen looked up at him. "There're some books and music CDs in my room. You may look through those, if you like. I believe there may be some movies laying around as well." Ceilen paused and frowned thoughtfully. "If there are, those may be a bit old and I'm not really sure which language they'll be in but at least they'll keep your mind off things."

Tryffin chewed on his lips and wondered how he was supposed to ask what he wanted to ask without sounding needy. He studied the pattern on the ceramic bowl in front of him intently as he mumbled, "Where will you be?"

A pause then Ceilen said quietly, "First I have to go through some files in the storage room, then I'll be in my room."

Tryffin nodded without looking up. "Okay… I'll wait for you there then."

Ceilen looked like he wanted to protest but changed his mind. He nodded and picked up his empty bowl without comments. Tryffin watched him get up and turned to the sink behind him. Ceilen was all in black this morning. His loose long sleeve t-shirt did nothing to hide the man's broad back though it effectively hid all traces of Ceilen's injuries. Tryffin still wondered what had happened last night to give Ceilen such wounds. The man refused to talk about it and Tryffin was getting tired of the cold shoulders every time he brought it up. He rather preferred this unspoken truce they were having right now.

"Why don't I do the dishes since you cooked." Tryffin said as he got up and walked around the small table to where Ceilen stood by the sink. The galley ,as Ceilen had called it, was no bigger than his closet at home but it packed a small refrigerator, a sink, a round table with two folding chairs and various cupboards around the room. These boats were pretty impressive, he thought grudgingly.

Ceilen turned to say something to him and Tryffin saw the surprise flickered in his brown eye at seeing Tryffin standing right behind him. Tryffin would have smirked but that would only bring back the defensive Ceilen. Didn't he say he liked this truce they had?

Oh, but it was so tempting, teasing this man who had turned his whole existence upside down.

"I want to show you that there is something else I can do." He told Ceilen softly as he leaned forward and took the bowl from Ceilen's frozen hands. His chest pressed against Ceilen shoulder and he could feel the tension in the wiry frame.

Ceilen was silent as he looked away quickly but not before Tryffin caught a tinge of pink on his bodyguard's face. The first thing that flashed across his mind was to drag the man back to bed and screw him silly. The second thought was of course, drag the man back to bed and have Ceilen screw him silly. The third thought was… er… well ALL of his thoughts involved one of them screwing the other silly and some of the thoughts involved no bed at all.

Damn, he was horny!

"What are you doing?"

Ceilen's sharp voice shattered the images of the happily romping pair in his head and he blinked repeatedly to clear the hentai thoughts.

"Huh?"

Ceilen was frowning at him. THAT can't be good.

Then he realized he was holding on to Ceilen's wrist and his thumb was caressing the man's palm suggestively.

Eeek! When the hell did THAT happen? He let go of the man's hand and gave Ceilen a small smile. "Er… sorry, I was thinking of something…"

Ceilen didn't say anything but the frown never left his face. He left his bowl in the sink and rinsed his hands then dried them quickly with the towel hanging nearby.

"Fine, you can do the dishes, I'll see you later." Ceilen didn't wait for a reply but turned around and headed for the door.

"Wait, I can just hang out in your room? Look for something to do and stuff?"

Ceilen paused by the door but didn't turn around. "Like I can keep you out." He muttered then shook his head. "DO NOT touch the computers or the files I have on the tables. The rest is no secret." Then he was gone.

Tryffin shrugged then went to work on the dishes. There wasn't much really, just their bowls. Apparently Ceilen had washed the pots and utensils he had used to cook the meal. The man really was pretty amazing. Tryffin found himself sighing dreamily as he thought about his bodyguard. Man, he was turning into a real sap and that just won't do! When this whole thing was over, they would go their separate ways… he really couldn't afford to feel any more for the man. It would be a big mess later when they'd have to part. Wasn't that what he had hardened himself up all these years for? So that nothing could hurt him? Why was Ceilen the exception to every rule?

Gah! The sooner he found something to do, the faster he could take his mind off Ceilen. He nodded with conviction as he headed back to Ceilen's room.

Once there, Tryffin stood in the middle of the room and scratched his head. Where the fuck did he keep his stuff? There were no bookshelves, only locked cabinets. No wonder the man said there were no secrets… there was NOTHING!

He sighed and went over the cabinets again. Locked. Locked. Locked. Okay… locked. Unlocked. Loc--- Nani? He went back to the unlocked cabinet and found cardboard boxes inside. Finally! He pulled out all of them and found that Ceilen had stored 4 boxes away. The first two boxes were filled with books of various sizes, some were hard cover and some were paperback and the titles were quite diverse. He'd found authors ranging from Tolkien to Sun Tsu to Bakin Takizawa. The man, it seemed, read everything.

Tryffin shook his head then moved on to the third box. Music CDs and movies. His bodyguard's taste in music was just as varied as his taste in books. Tryffin didn't think Ceilen was the 'Metallica' kind a guy but here they were 3 CDs form the group, and he would NEVER have guessed that Ceilen would listen to 'Chicago'. Man, they were ancient! There were also several CDs in Japanese and Chinese, not to mention something that looked like Russian. Finally Tryffin pulled out 'Reload' by Metallica, 'Gravitation' by Bad Luck (^_~) and 'Ameno' by Era.

Then he started on the movies. He blinked several times when confronted by VHS tapes of Godzilla fighting various creatures. O~kay… He put THOSE away very carefully. The rest of Ceilen's collection concentrated on Martial Arts films and very strange science fictions from various countries. One in particular was most questionable. Who in their right mind would make a movie about giant killer tomatoes? Better question was, who in their mind would spend money buying it?

Tryffin was beginning to question the sanity of his bodyguard.

He shoved all three boxes back into the cupboard then turn to look at the last box. He had saved this one for last because it was different from the others. It was much lighter for one thing and it was also taped shut where the others were not. Tryffin tucked on the tape and soon had the lid opened. He wondered distractedly if this was where Ceilen kept his porno tapes and nearly laughed out loud at the look that would be on Ceilen's face when he returned to see Tryffin watching them.

Laughter died on his lips as lifted the lid and found not porno tapes but a few odd stuff; a scarf, a book, an envelope stuffed with pictures, a handgun and a short sword. He frowned and lifted out the scarf first. It was a woman's scarf judging by the color and design. It had pink orchids scattered on pale lavender silk with the monogram 'K' at the very edge. On one end of the scarf, there were large dark brown stains like someone had spilled some sauce on it. Or dried blood. At the last thought, Tryffin dropped the scarf and pulled his hand away quickly.

Chocolate sauce, he told himself. It had to be chocolate… it BETTER be chocolate. He turned away from the scarf and picked up the gun. Tryffin had seen this kind of guns before, it was a Glock and not very popular in Japan because of the large size. Well, owning firearms was generally against the law so if you're gonna pack a weapon, it better be small enough to conceal. A Glock was a bit… bulky. Hm… no ammo…

Putting the gun away, Tryffin picked up the wakizashi, a samurai's short sword and companion to the longer katana. See? Owning a sword was ALSO against the law but Ceilen sure as hell didn't pay any attention to that. This wakizashi was something else, though. He could certainly understand why Ceilen wanted it. The golden pommel was designed as a very fierce looking dragonhead. The scabbard was black and made from a very tough leather coated with clear lacquer. It was an impressive sword and Tryffin put it away without unsheathing it. There was something very sacred about a samurai's sword, it was his soul and Tryffin wasn't about to mess with another man's soul. He had enough problems with his own, thank you very much.

Next item that came under his scrutiny was the envelope. He picked it up and pulled the photos out eagerly. He felt giddy and couldn't help stealing a glance at the cabin door. He knew that Ceilen had said nothing was a secret but he couldn't help feeling that maybe the man may not want him to see these. What if there were naked baby pictures or something? He settled down more comfortably and looked at the first picture.

It was a woman. Involuntarily his eyes drifted to the scarf with the stains and an uneasy feeling came over him. No, he was just being ridiculous. It was chocolate sauce, he told himself again as he turned his attention back to the woman in the picture. She was wearing a yellow summer dress and was holding a wide brim hat in one hand while trying to keep her long brown hair from blowing in her face with the other. Her face was filled with laughter and he could almost feel the playful tug of the wind as he stared at her. He turned the picture over and read the writing on the back.


My dearest Ceilen,

Here is something to keep your spirit up while you're away. It's not much but at least I can be with you always. Hurry back, Ceilen. I'll be waiting for you.

Stay safe.

I love you.

Kouran.


Tryffin reread the message and found that his eyes kept returning to the second to the last line. 'I love you.' Did Ceilen feel the same way? Who was she to him? Where was she?

Eager to find out more, Tryffin moved on to the second picture. It was an older picture that looked like it had been viewed too many times. The edges were flayed and there were creases on the picture itself. Two young men in swimming trunks stood on the beach laughing at the camera. One was slightly taller than the other and both had their arms clasped companionably around each other's shoulders. Their other arm stretched towards the camera as they waved a cheery 'V' at whoever took the picture. The taller one had jet-black hair and was very good looking. The other one had blond hair with blue streaks in several places. His laughing face was slightly upturned and… Tryffin took a sharp breath and brought the picture closer to his face.

The shorter man was Ceilen!

Tryffin blinked several times as he stared hard at the young man. Ceilen must have been in his late teens at the most. He had no eye patch on and both his eyes seemed to be fine. He looked so happy; Tryffin felt a gut-wrenching pain at the difference in the man who was now his bodyguard. What happened to Ceilen?

He turned the picture around but there was nothing written on the back.

Tryffin frowned then pulled out the next picture. It looked like it was taken about the same time as the last picture. This time the young Ceilen was standing with a small girl with red hair. She looked like she was about thirteen or fourteen years old and not too happy being in the picture. She wore a blue one-piece swimming suit and stood in front of Ceilen with her arms crossed, her tongue sticking out at the person taking the picture. Ceilen arms came around her shoulders and he smiled easily into the camera. How Tryffin wished he could see that smile again. The man was gorgeous.

Again, the back of the picture revealed nothing.

Tryffin impatiently shuffled the picture to the back. The next photo was even older, the color was faded and it looked almost like it was crumpled up at one point or another. A handsome couple smiled happily into camera and Tryffin knew without a doubt that these were Ceilen's parents; the resemblance was uncanny. The man was perhaps in his late thirties, the woman slightly younger. Ceilen's father looked European while his mother was Oriental, most likely Japanese. They stood in front of a house on the beach, looking like they had no cares in the world.

Tryffin swallowed the lump in his throat at the sudden nostalgia that shook his senses. His parents were happy and carefree too. They loved their research job and even though that had taken much of their time, they had never forgotten to be a family. They took him everywhere with them and he'd shared in their enthusiasm. It was only trips where they had to go into the oceans that kept Tryffin away. But those were rare and Tryffin didn't grudge them the time away. Until the last trip when their boat sank…

His misty eyes trailed back to the pair in the picture and he wiped his eyes roughly. He really WAS becoming a pathetic sap. He shook his head and put the picture in the back. The next picture was of a stern looking man practically glaring out at him from the picture. The man was older, maybe in his late forties and had thick black hair. He wore a pair of glasses, slightly shaded and his mustache and beard were neatly trimmed. Tryffin blinked at the severity of the gaze and wonder just who the hell he was. The picture again was old so Tryffin didn't think he was a lover. But who was he?

Shuffling the picture back, Tryffin realized that it was the last one. He stared at the picture of the woman again and couldn't help the tightening in his chest. He was jealous and he had no idea who she was. Was Ceilen in love with her? Was he still in love with her?

Who was she?

Then his gaze fell back into the box and locked onto the only item he hadn't looked at. The book. He put the pictures back in the envelope then placed that back in the box and picked up the book. It was a woman's too by the look of it. Why do they have to put dainty flowers on everything? The cover was made from rough paper the color of sand. The book was simple with only one lavender pansy sat right in the middle of the front cover. Tryffin shrugged and open the book. First page said simply, Kouran.

It was her book! His eyes shifted to the scarf then to the envelope then back to the name on the page again.

Tryffin hurriedly turned the page, eager to find out more about the woman in Ceilen's past. The book was a journal of some kind with sporadic entries but no dates. He frowned as he sifted through pages then settled back and started at the beginning. As he read, more of Ceilen's past was revealed to him and Tryffin wasn't sure if it was a good thing.


(Journal entries by Kouran)

Entry one.

I shouldn't be doing this; he would be upset. But I feel deep in my heart that I will not be with him long. I need to keep something solid with me when he's no longer here... when he's gone back to his world and I am left with nothing but memories.

I met Ceilen about a week ago at my father's factory, which he came to destroy. Funny how destiny works, he was out to ruin my family, yet ended up saving my life and now he's protecting me from the very person who should be cherishing me. I'm yet to understand fully the things that my father did and perhaps I never will. Ceilen is taking it upon himself to protect me from my father's doings as well. What he failed to understand is that no matter how secretive he is, he could never take away the fact that my own father would rather see me dead than have his secrets revealed.

My own father…

Ceilen is all I have now. He is the only one I can trust.



Entry two.

My father sent more people after us. Ceilen is moving me from place to place and we could never stay in one place long enough for me to know where we are. I know now that I am no longer in Kyushu but which island we're on, I'm at a lost. Father had never allowed me to leave our home island so I do know every inch of Kyushu. We are definitely not on Kyushu.



Entry three.

I find that I'm enjoying this global hopping perhaps more than I should. Or is it the company? He's so very sweet. Well, not 'sweet' exactly but so shy that I find him exceedingly endearing. His obsession with his looks is becoming annoying, however. No, it's not narcissism. Not at all. You see, Ceilen had lost an eye sometime ago and he wears an eye patch. I think he looks scandalously sexy but he seems to think that it's an atrocity. He actually thinks I find it repulsive. Imagine that.



Entry four.

Oh but the man can cook! I have never had to being that we have our own staff so imagine my surprise to fine that he can cook dishes from all over the world. My particular favorite is the Tom Yum Kung from Thailand. Very spicy but oh, so delicious. He mentioned that he traveled a lot and had lived in many countries. I must get him to describe all the places he had seen! For tomorrow, I have convinced him to cook an Indian curry dish for me. Is he not the sweetest?



**** ****

"Yeah, my teeth are hurting here." Tryffin grumbled moodily as he read.

**** ****



Entry five.

Water. Everywhere I look there is water. I have been living on this yacht of his for more than three weeks now. As much as I love sailing, I don't think I'd want to see another boat for a while.

Ceilen knows the oddest places. We never stop at large ports. Everytime we stopped for fuel and supplies, we'd end up in another obscure fishing village.

Yesterday we rested in a little bay by his supply depot and he fished. As if realizing that I must be tired of the routine, he took us on the beach and… roasted the fish by the fire. He dove for oysters and clams and we had an honest to goodness clambake!

Ceilen never ceases to surprise me.



**** ****

Tryffin read several more entries and Kouran mainly talked about the places they'd been to. His chest hurt. Her description of Ceilen was NOTHING like how he would have described the man. He was far from shy or sweet, damn it! What Tryffin wouldn't give to see Ceilen as Kouran had. Or the Ceilen that was on the beach smiling openly at the world.

Why did he have to get the screwed up Ceilen?

Tryffin went over a few more entries before one in particular caught his eyes. Or should he say his heart?

**** ****



Entry ten.

I think I love him. No, I know I do. I love him with all my heart. There are times when I see that he feels something for me as well but… why does he feel the need to keep the distance? Doesn't he know that I wanted him? That his advances would be most welcome? We've been traveling and hiding together for over a month now… what must I do?



Entry eleven.

He caught me swimming nude today and gods the desire I saw in his eye left me with no doubt that he wants me as well but the man's control is giving me migraines!



Entry twelve.

I ate dinner alone again. He's hiding from me. Damn him! Would you believe that before I met Ceilen, I have never used a bad word? The man is truly maddening.



**** ****

Yep, that he was, alright. Tryffin had to giggle despite the ache in the pit of his stomach. So she didn't appreciate being ignored, huh? Tryffin totally understood where she was coming from. At least Ceilen wasn't an asshole with her. Tryffin frowned as he reread the previous entry. Ceilen desired him as well; the memory of the hard flesh pressing into him was evident enough… so Ceilen was bisexual… He could work with that.

**** ****



Entry thirteen.

My poor, poor Ceilen.

I found him crying out in his sleep last night. His cabin is next to mine and since I couldn't sleep for pining over a certain someone, I heard him. In his hand he clutched a picture that I found out later was of his parents. He won't tell me anymore than that they're dead. I held him to me tightly and rocked him back to sleep. I had never seen him this vulnerable, this young. I realized he couldn't be much older than I am and I'm only twenty. This was the first time he'd allowed me to touch him in this way. I am both elated and saddened at the same time.

Even then… With Ceilen, you're only allowed to go so far… there is a place deep inside of him that I know I will never touch… I don't think anyone will ever be allowed to go there.

For his sake, I hope I'm wrong.



Entry fourteen.

I'm blushing as I'm writing; I hope you know that! I've never in my entire life thought that I would put to paper my sexual experiences but I still feel this need to record my thoughts and feeling about Ceilen. This feeling of dread is much stronger now. Our time together is coming to a close. I cannot explain how I know. He's going away in a few days and my fear for his safety grew more each day. I'm to stay with his good friend, Hikou.  I'm sure he's more than capable of protecting me; Ceilen trusts him completely.  It is Ceilen that I worry about.  He is the one going up against my father and his crew.

That was why I approached him last night. Why I'd offer myself to him with all of my heart as well. He was hesitant but after weeks of fighting his desires for me, he finally gave in. He so tenderly took what I'd offered that I found myself crying as we made love. I have never known such gentleness… such care. He filled me with so much emotions, I could not properly describe them. I think I will surely burst if I don't tell someone and since I can tell no one of Ceilen, this journal is my only mean of venting.

How could arms so strong be so tender at the same time? How could hands that plant bombs and shoot bullets be so warm and loving in their caresses? I don't want him to go, I want to stay wrapped up in his arms forever. I want to feel his body move against mine again and again, never to stop. His lips… his tongue… oh, gods I cannot stop this burning deep inside of me at the though of his touches. How can I go on without him now that I have tasted him?

How can I live without Ceilen?



**** ****

Tryffin slammed the book shut with a loud thud. His heart was hammering violently in his chest and to top it all off, he was as hard as hell. That last bit in the entry was hardly erotica but his oh, so helpful mind supplied him with a very naked Ceilen moving his hard length in and out of HIS body, not Kouran's. His fucked up mind was not going to leave him alone, damn it!

Shit! He rubbed his eyes in frustration. It took Kouran more than a month to get Ceilen to screw her and it's only been two days since he'd been with Ceilen. At this rate, he was going to die of blue balls if Ceilen didn't kill him first.

Before Tryffin could go back to the journal, the door opened and Ceilen stepped in. His arms were loaded with files and he suddenly dropped them when he saw what Tryffin was holding.

Tryffin looked guiltily from the journal to Ceilen then he quickly put the book back in the box.

"Er…" Tryffin stopped, not knowing what to say. The shock and alarm on Ceilen's face was enough to let Tryffin know that nothing he said could make the situation better.

"Leave."

The word was softly spoken but the edge in the voice was unmistakable. It said clearly that Ceilen would not repeat it and he'd better be out of there NOW.

Tryffin got up and left without another word.

He felt bad. No, bad was probably the understatement of the year but his numb mind couldn't really identify the pain that was in his chest. It wasn't entirely his fault. He knew that. He'd asked and Ceilen had said pretty much that the only thing in the room that was off limits were his computers and his files. He had even encouraged Tryffin to look around.

Okay, so he didn't say THAT exactly but it amounted to the same thing.

But even though it wasn't his fault, Tryffin still felt bad for having caused the pain to appear on Ceilen's face. He hadn't wanted that. He had wanted to make the man smile, to be able to see Ceilen like the others in his past had seen him. He wanted to wipe away the memories of whatever horror was inflicted on Ceilen to make him this cold… this closed.

Well, THAT wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Tryffin found himself huddling on his bed, in his cabin, all alone for the rest of the day. For lunch, there was brisk knocking at the door but when he went to answer it, he found no one. On the floor in front of his door, Tryffin found a tray with sandwiches, a salad, a bottle of juice and the three CDs he had picked out earlier. Next to the tray, he found a Walkman. Tryffin looked up and down the empty hall of the boat but Ceilen was nowhere to be found.

After lunch, he took his tray and went to the kitchen. It was empty… and spotless. He cleaned his dishes and put away the tray then went to stand in front of Ceilen's door. He hated to be far from Ceilen, his fears were not as immobilizing as before but he was still terrified. He knocked on the door but only silence greeted him. When he tried the knob, he found it was locked. With a disheartening sigh, Tryffin went back to his room and listened to the CDs that Ceilen sent with his lunch. He wondered why Ceilen had bothered at all. Maybe he wasn't as mad as Tryffin had thought. Maybe it was just that he needed some time alone.

Tryffin hoped with all his heart that he was right.

Dinner was pretty much the same thing. Knocks on door and tray on floor. He wondered miserably as he munched on his fish how long Ceilen was planning to avoid him. He looked down at his grilled fish, steamed vegetables and bottled water and thanked the gods that at least he was being fed.

And Kouran was more than right. Ceilen was an excellent cook. And there was something oddly familiar about the fish… Tryffin couldn't quite put his fingers on it but he could have sworn he'd eaten it prepared this way before yet he couldn't recall…


****

Tryffin couldn't sleep that night. He looked at the little clock on his nightstand and grimaced when he saw that it was already past midnight. He had been trying to sleep for the past two hours but his mind just wouldn't let go of the look on Ceilen's face. Besides, he really was too wired up and nervous to sleep. Ever since he'd met Ceilen, he had fallen asleep with the man close by… he couldn't relax now, not when he was alone.

Another thought had him sitting up straight in his bed. What if whatever fit Ceilen had last night came back and Ceilen ended up hurt again? Shouldn't he at least check and make sure the man was alright?

Even as he threw back the covers and marched to the door Tryffin knew that it was only an excuse to search out the other man. He didn't care. He wanted to be with Ceilen.

The light was still on, Tryffin could see under the door so he knew that Ceilen was still up. Come to think of it, he had never seen the man sleep. Slumping over the table in a puddle of blood did not count!

This time Tryffin did not knock. He banged. Very loudly. Repeatedly.

And was completely unprepared when the door jerked open amidst his pounding, nearly causing him to lose his balance. He swallowed nervously when he realized that his fist was caught in mid air in Ceilen's iron grip.

Ceilen was not wearing a shirt. The bandages on his arms and chest stood out starkly against Ceilen's smooth tan skin. Tryffin mentally drooled but outwardly kept his composure. No need putting his unstable bodyguard on edge and have the door slammed in his face.

Ceilen looked alert and frowned expectantly at him. "What is it?" He wasn't angry and Tryffin noted with relief that Ceilen's tone was more worried.

Tryffin blinked and blurted, "I'm sorry."

Ceilen stared at him silently across the threshold. His bodyguard looked stunned at Tryffin's apology but that was all too soon replaced with indifference.

After several seconds of uncomfortable silence, Tryffin fidgeted and cleared his throat. Ceilen blinked then gave Tryffin a curt nod. When he noticed that Tryffin wasn't going away anytime soon, Ceilen frowned again and asked coolly, "Is there anything else?"

Tryffin chewed on his lower lip agitatedly. Yeah, well he wanted to go inside but he couldn't find the courage to say so especially when Ceilen was being so goddamn cold. It was like the first night they had spent together and Tryffin groaned inwardly at the thought that he would have to work twice as hard to get Ceilen to be civil to him again.

With hands clenching stiffly to his sides and fists in tight balls, Tryffin lowered his gaze to Ceilen's bare feet then shook his head dejectedly.

When Tryffin was about to turn back to his room, Ceilen suddenly sighed and stepped to the side, allowing him to enter. Tryffin looked up at his bodyguard in surprise but found that Ceilen wasn't looking at him.

Grinning gratefully, he slipped past Ceilen and stood just inside the door uncertainly. Had Ceilen forgiven him?

"Do you need some tea?" Ceilen asked quietly from behind him and Tryffin wondered if the man was trying to be funny.

"No, thank you." Damn, but he was behaving, wasn't he?

Ceilen walked back to his work and motioned to the bed. "Go to sleep, then."

Tryffin slipped into Ceilen's neatly made bed without protest. Ceilen seemed to know that being near him gave Tryffin comfort and it warmed Tryffin's heart to know that Ceilen was a nice enough guy to indulge him this little quirk.

He watched Ceilen work from the bed and wondered for the hundredth time when the man last slept. He seemed alert enough… maybe he slept earlier today when Tryffin was sulking in his room.

Tryffin wasn't sure when he fell asleep… he wasn't even sure he WAS asleep until the man with blue hair told him once again that he loved him.

This time Tryffin didn't pull away. He didn't recoil in shock but pulled the man towards him and kissed him instead. And then he was kissing Ceilen and his bodyguard was doing delicious things to his body… And then it was the man with blue hair again… At this point, Tryffin really couldn't care less as long as ONE of them -- or both of them if he could only keep them in one scene -- did something to him!

A splash of something cold hit his face and Tryffin jerked up sputtering in terror. The first thought that came across his dazed mind was drowning. Then after shaking water from his face, he turned to see Ceilen glaring at him from the side of the bed. An empty glass was in his hand.

"What the fuck?" He growled at the man.

"If you want to stay here, you can't…" Ceilen clamped his mouth shut and his lips were pressed into a thin line and he struggled with whatever it was he was trying to say. "You can't…" He waved the hand holding the empty glass towards Tryffin's groin. "Can't DO that here!" He blurted out indignantly.

Tryffin blinked and looked down his body to see what the man was sputtering about.

Oh, THAT.

Tryffin let go of his now limp organ with an apologetic smile. Was he doing that? Heh heh heh… oops.

"Sorry." He mumbled, blushing furiously. Man, this was SO not happening. How fucking embarrassing.

Ceilen stood panting angrily by the bed then turned on his heels and left the room. Tryffin blinked stupidly after him. Was there more than anger in Ceilen's tone? Did he see what he thought he saw in Ceilen's bright eye? Was it desire? Or was his needy mind tricking him into seeing and hearing things he craved?

He looked at his watch and found that it was already morning. He raised his eyebrows in surprised at having slept so long. It was close to nine in the morning! It felt like it had only been minutes since he'd fallen sleep. He got up and stretched leisurely. He felt relaxed despite of having woken before he had his release… but then again, THAT would have been a disaster. Ceilen might have just thrown him into the water instead of throwing water at him. Tryffin shuddered at the possibilities and decided to go get cleaned up before Ceilen came back.

As he walked towards the door, a strange beeping sound came from one of Ceilen's computers and being a curious creature that he was, Tryffin slinked over to have a look.

The word "URGENT" flashed radically on the screen and the beeping sound got louder. What the…? He hit the 'ENTER' key on the keyboard and the 'URGENT' message was replaced by a woman's face. The pretty redhead in the computer stared at him in shock then frowned.

"Where's Ceilen?" She demanded impatiently. Tryffin stared at her for a few seconds then realized that she must have been the little red-haired girl in the picture with Ceilen. The hair and that defiant look in her eyes were unmistakable.

"I don't know." He shrugged. Gee, she was just about as rude as Ceilen.

"I need to speak to him immediately." She continued to scowl at him but he could tell that she was studying him curiously.

"Get in line." He muttered to himself.

The woman narrowed her eyes at him, then her tone changed… slightly.

"Tryffin, some people will die if I don't speak to Ceilen now. Please find him."

Tryffin opened his mouth to ask how she knew his name but was interrupted when Ceilen suddenly appeared.

"What is it?" He didn't look pleased to see the woman; the scowl on his face almost matched the one on hers earlier.

"Ceilen…" She looked at his bodyguard in relief. "Thank god you left this channel open, I didn't know who else to call."

Oh, NOW she was all 'save me, save me'. Tryffin glared at her.

"Get to the point Kitada." Ceilen said blandly.

Kitada bit her lips and looked like she was thinking hard. The look reminded Tryffin of someone who knew she was in deep shit but didn't want to admit it.

"I know you said to keep them away but… I thought you might need help, so…" Tryffin sneaked a glance at his bodyguard and swallowed. Yep, she was in deep shit, alright. Ceilen had his eye narrowed to a cold slit as he glared at her.

"So… I send Abyssinian and Siberian after you. Something happened to their vessel and they are sinking." Kitada looked imploringly at the silent man next to Tryffin. "Please, here are the coordinates. You have to go get them."

Ceilen was angry, no, he was furious. Tryffin could practically FEEL it radiating from the man. He inched away from his bodyguard just a little in case Ceilen wanted to have a go at this monitor as well. The coordinates flashed at the bottom of the screen and Tryffin wrote them down automatically. Though he was confused as to why the woman was sending cats, it had never occurred to him that Ceilen wouldn't go…

"Ceilen." She said his name softly, her tone and eyes begging him to help her. "The boys…"

"How do you know I can get there in time?" Ceilen asked. "Are you tracking me?"

Kitada shook her head. "No, we didn't know your exact whereabouts but when we intercepted Tryffin's call to Kouji, we made some educated guess as to where you might be. And with this communication, we've pinpointed your location and we think you might make it in time."

Tryffin grimaced.  Oh boy…now HE was in deep shit.

Ceilen turned slowly and gave him a look that promised a slow and painful death. Tryffin moved away quickly but stumbled and fell back into a chair.

"What have you done?" Ceilen asked harshly, his hands clenched into tight fists. "Do you realize that your stupidity may have just cost them their lives?"

Tryffin shook his head in horror. That wasn't what he'd wanted at all… he didn't want to hurt anyone… he just wanted to go home…

He looked up into Ceilen's accusing eye helplessly. Surely it wasn't too late? Surely they could still be saved?

But looking at Ceilen's expression told him that may not be the case. That despite what the woman had said, they may be too far to get there in time.

If that were the case, Tryffin would be the one responsible for their deaths.

And he didn't think he could live with that at all…




TBC…

~*~*~*~*~*

Gah, I couldn't fit in more of Chichiri's past without it being too awkward.  Hope this works for now.  Bits and pieces will come out here and there.   The two boys will show up again in the WK version chapter 8.  They ARE going to fetch the kitties…

Thank you!!!