Well this is the last intermission. (Actually I like the idea for this one a lot so I might make a full story of it later on).
NOTICE: I am going to the beach for a full week in a day or two, so don't expect any real updates for at least two weeks. Sorry guys but I'm graduating HS so I need to celebrate some fun in the sun! ^__^
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Intermission 4: Devil's Food Cake
Today Devil's Food Cake is simply thought by most to be a delicious confectionary treat, devoured by young children and stressed out women. However, beyond this seemingly innocent veil of sweetness lies a dreadful secret and a long hidden cult, that of……
THE DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE! *dramatic music clash*
[http://www.schwartz.co.uk/images/schwartz/DevilsFoodCakeDOW_GIF.gif]
That's right. The true sinister nature of the cake is only known to a small clandestine group who practice their vile religion high in the mountain of Tibet. And this small group is unknowingly about to receive an expected visit from an unwanted guest…
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"What…the hell is THIS?" Dante said, perched on a rocky ledge staring into an earthy cavern below. Below, candles lit the area and a circle of black robed men circled around an golden altar and chanted blasphemies at what appeared to be a large scrumptious wedge of chocolate cake. Dante shook his head. "I mean, I always knew Martha Stuart was evil, but this…What the hell?"
Thus Dante was actually none to surprised to see that when the leader of the circle pulled back his hood he revealed his identity as…Martha Stuart herself. Dante pulled out his cell phone and called a number. "Trish," he hissed into it, "What was the mission again? Cause all I found was Martha Stuart leading a chocolate worship. I better still be getting paid for this."
"That actually IS the mission," Trish replied back from her comfy nest at Devil Never Cry, where unbeknownst to Dante she was redecorated everything with lickable wallpaper and pink curtains. Goodness knows the poor girl had to survive somehow. "I know it sounds nuts but apparently that cake is evil, and I mean evil evil. So you go take care of it," she said fondly while she added a fluffy pink toilet cover, "and I'll hold down the fort here." *click*
"Goddamnit," Dante muttered. "This just takes the fucking cake. Gah, I hate puns." He was about to charge down and split Martha from tip to toe when a dark and rumbling voice echoed out into the cavern…
…from the cake.
"BEHOLD DEVOTED ONES, YOUR TIME IS NEAR NIGH, WHEN I SHALL REIGN UPON THE HUMAN REALM…" the robed worshippers quaked and quivered and blabbered nonsensical religious praise until the voice irritated said, "SHUT UP ALREADY. WE HAVE LARGE SCALE COMPANIES TO TAKE OVER AND MULTITUDES TO GREEDILY FEED. IT IS TIME……TO MOVE TO STAGE TWOOOOOOOO!"
With this pronouncement the worshippers all cheered and scurried off to other parts of the cavern. "Ah," Dante said. "The cake can talk. Evilly no less." Seeing no one around, he slithered down from his perch and walked up to cake. "Hello," he said and poked it, then shook his hand furiously as some of the icing came off. "Ugh, cake guts."
"WHO DARES TO DISTURB ME? TREMBLE MORTAL CREATURE, LIKE THE FLESHY BLOB OF GELATONOUS GOO THAT YOU ARE!" Dante just grimaced. Fleshy blob of goo?
"Listen Cake-boy," Dante said poking it again and wondering if he should lick the icing off his fingers. He tried some and nodded appreciatively. "Not bad frosting. But seriously now, I'm going to have to hack you up and stuff so you won't take over the world…or whatever demon cakes do." Dante was about to cheerfully slice the cake (and was secretly thinking of eating a piece) when the cake began to glow an evil red color.
"YOU DARE MOCK ME?" the cake roared. "COME FORTH DARK VELVET!" The red glow of the cake hardened and Dante blinked at the very large red velvet cake that towered beside him. It also appeared very threatening, at least in so much as a cake can, and this would be to say it was not at all. BUT, nevertheless, the large red velvet cake…quivered…at Dante in arrogance.
Dante took a step backwards. Damn! This way more than he'd bargained for. There was only one force that could take on such a deliciously large evil. "Zelly!" Dante called into his cell, "Get down here now! There's free food!" Mere seconds later, a motorcycle burst into the cavern, driven by a beautiful, multi-talented, adored, and not to mention modest girl [hey I'm the author right? We get our perks ^_~]. Whipping off her sunglass she sauntered over to Dante and proceeded to glomp him like any true rabid fan girl.
"No!" Dante said, attempting to pry her off. "Just eat the damn cake!" Zelly was instantly distracted by the ten foot tall cake.
"Sugggggggar!" she babbled and proceeded to devour the entire thing in minutes. "Yum," she pronounced satisfied.
"WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?" the devil's food cake said in horror. "BUT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME…I SHALL RETURN!" it wailed as it slid into another dimension where evil intelligent cakes were actually given the respect they deserved.
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What can I say, I like cake. ^.^; I don't usually write things like that, though I do enjoy it. And being in my own stories.
NOTICE: I am going to the beach for a full week in a day or two, so don't expect any real updates for at least two weeks. Sorry guys but I'm graduating HS so I need to celebrate some fun in the sun! ^__^
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intermission 4: Devil's Food Cake
Today Devil's Food Cake is simply thought by most to be a delicious confectionary treat, devoured by young children and stressed out women. However, beyond this seemingly innocent veil of sweetness lies a dreadful secret and a long hidden cult, that of……
THE DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE! *dramatic music clash*
[http://www.schwartz.co.uk/images/schwartz/DevilsFoodCakeDOW_GIF.gif]
That's right. The true sinister nature of the cake is only known to a small clandestine group who practice their vile religion high in the mountain of Tibet. And this small group is unknowingly about to receive an expected visit from an unwanted guest…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What…the hell is THIS?" Dante said, perched on a rocky ledge staring into an earthy cavern below. Below, candles lit the area and a circle of black robed men circled around an golden altar and chanted blasphemies at what appeared to be a large scrumptious wedge of chocolate cake. Dante shook his head. "I mean, I always knew Martha Stuart was evil, but this…What the hell?"
Thus Dante was actually none to surprised to see that when the leader of the circle pulled back his hood he revealed his identity as…Martha Stuart herself. Dante pulled out his cell phone and called a number. "Trish," he hissed into it, "What was the mission again? Cause all I found was Martha Stuart leading a chocolate worship. I better still be getting paid for this."
"That actually IS the mission," Trish replied back from her comfy nest at Devil Never Cry, where unbeknownst to Dante she was redecorated everything with lickable wallpaper and pink curtains. Goodness knows the poor girl had to survive somehow. "I know it sounds nuts but apparently that cake is evil, and I mean evil evil. So you go take care of it," she said fondly while she added a fluffy pink toilet cover, "and I'll hold down the fort here." *click*
"Goddamnit," Dante muttered. "This just takes the fucking cake. Gah, I hate puns." He was about to charge down and split Martha from tip to toe when a dark and rumbling voice echoed out into the cavern…
…from the cake.
"BEHOLD DEVOTED ONES, YOUR TIME IS NEAR NIGH, WHEN I SHALL REIGN UPON THE HUMAN REALM…" the robed worshippers quaked and quivered and blabbered nonsensical religious praise until the voice irritated said, "SHUT UP ALREADY. WE HAVE LARGE SCALE COMPANIES TO TAKE OVER AND MULTITUDES TO GREEDILY FEED. IT IS TIME……TO MOVE TO STAGE TWOOOOOOOO!"
With this pronouncement the worshippers all cheered and scurried off to other parts of the cavern. "Ah," Dante said. "The cake can talk. Evilly no less." Seeing no one around, he slithered down from his perch and walked up to cake. "Hello," he said and poked it, then shook his hand furiously as some of the icing came off. "Ugh, cake guts."
"WHO DARES TO DISTURB ME? TREMBLE MORTAL CREATURE, LIKE THE FLESHY BLOB OF GELATONOUS GOO THAT YOU ARE!" Dante just grimaced. Fleshy blob of goo?
"Listen Cake-boy," Dante said poking it again and wondering if he should lick the icing off his fingers. He tried some and nodded appreciatively. "Not bad frosting. But seriously now, I'm going to have to hack you up and stuff so you won't take over the world…or whatever demon cakes do." Dante was about to cheerfully slice the cake (and was secretly thinking of eating a piece) when the cake began to glow an evil red color.
"YOU DARE MOCK ME?" the cake roared. "COME FORTH DARK VELVET!" The red glow of the cake hardened and Dante blinked at the very large red velvet cake that towered beside him. It also appeared very threatening, at least in so much as a cake can, and this would be to say it was not at all. BUT, nevertheless, the large red velvet cake…quivered…at Dante in arrogance.
Dante took a step backwards. Damn! This way more than he'd bargained for. There was only one force that could take on such a deliciously large evil. "Zelly!" Dante called into his cell, "Get down here now! There's free food!" Mere seconds later, a motorcycle burst into the cavern, driven by a beautiful, multi-talented, adored, and not to mention modest girl [hey I'm the author right? We get our perks ^_~]. Whipping off her sunglass she sauntered over to Dante and proceeded to glomp him like any true rabid fan girl.
"No!" Dante said, attempting to pry her off. "Just eat the damn cake!" Zelly was instantly distracted by the ten foot tall cake.
"Sugggggggar!" she babbled and proceeded to devour the entire thing in minutes. "Yum," she pronounced satisfied.
"WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?" the devil's food cake said in horror. "BUT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME…I SHALL RETURN!" it wailed as it slid into another dimension where evil intelligent cakes were actually given the respect they deserved.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What can I say, I like cake. ^.^; I don't usually write things like that, though I do enjoy it. And being in my own stories.