Me: ((hiding in corner))
Person: What are you doing?
Me: Hiding from my reviewers! They're gonna kill me; my chapter is four months in the making! I don't even have good excuses. Hide me from the killing mobs!
Person: No, go meet them. If you take the chapter with you, maybe they'll give you a painless death.
Me: Great help, bud.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Fruits Basket, blah blah blah etc. etc.
Author's Note: I'm sorry, but if Kyo sounds mean and angry in this, it's because, well, he is. Think of the events in the sixth volume. I think you'd be crabby too.
Chapter Four
Explanations, More People, and Various Adventures!
"All right." Hermione sighed as she crossed the room and sat down. "I suppose I had better explain."
"You had better!" Kyo shouted from across the room.
Hermione ignored him and continued. "First, though, let's see if everyone's done coming out of the book now."
Simultaneously, three people (Momiji, Shigure, and Yuki) said, "Huh?", one (Kyo) yelled, "What the hell are you talking about?", and one (Akito) gave a muffled "Mmmfgh!".
"Oh yes." Hermione walked to Akito. "I'll let you go if you promise to behave and not pull anyone's hair." He glared at her for a while, then, seeing as she meant what she said, nodded as best he could (which was not at all). Hermione pulled out her wand and said"Finite Incantatem." Akito became unbound, and he tried to stand up. Unfortunately for him, the combined effect of being under a full body bind and being an invalid prevented him from rising. Hatori jumped up and helped him into a chair.
"You…" Akito gasped. "What did you do to me?"
"I put a spell on you. It stopped you from moving or" she glared at him, "trying to hurt me."
"Now," Hermione grabbed her book bag. "I don't think this spell's over." She dug through it for a moment, then yanked out volume six. Sure enough, two wisps of smoke were floating out. They solidified into the forms of Tohru and Kagura. Both looked around the room, confused.
"Why, Yuki-kun! Kyo-kun! What are you doing here?" Tohru asked. "Hatori-san?"
Hatori answered her question. "This young woman has somehow summoned us, or so she says. We haven't quite figured it out, so sit down, Honda-kun, Kagura-san."
As the girls took seats, Hermione opened the book-and was shocked. The people in the room with her were missing from the book! It was as if someone had gone through and deliberately erased the characters. She opened to a random page that had once had Kagura, Tohru, Kazuma, and Kyo on it. All of them were blank except for Kazuma, and his image was starting to fade. Yet another wisp of smoke was appearing above the book. It was indeed Kazuma.
Kyo stared. "Shi-shishou?"
Kazuma looked around, then said, "Hello, everyone. How are you, Kyo?"
"You're taking this mildly, Kazuma-dono." Shigure commented, leaning back in his chair and fanning himself with one of his many fans. He probably has a stash hidden in his kimono somewhere.
"I assume someone will explain everything when the time comes." The dojo master settled into a seat. "Until that time, I am content."
Hermione was only half listening. She was concentrated on the book. "The only people left…are Haru and Ayame." she murmured. Yuki's ears perked up. He looked at her, his eyes wide. "You said…Ayame?" Hermione looked up with sympathy. "Yes…I'm sorry. Wait!" she said as an idea struck her. She tapped the book with her wand and said, "Finite incantatem." If I'm right, she thought desperately, this whole mess will be over with right now and I won't have to deal with it. Interrupting her thoughts, an extremely loud voice said from behind her, "Yuki! What an enormous coincidence that we are both here in the same room at the same time!"
Damn, Hermione thought as she saw Yuki go pale. "A-Ayame?" she asked tentatively, without turning around.
"INDEED! You have extremely good charisma sensors to know me without seeing me!" The loud voice said, and laughed.
"Aaya! I never expected you to be here!" Shigure cried, and jumped up from his seat.
"Gure-san, but of course! I have come to rescue you from this-" he glanced around "-crowd of Sohmas! And Tori-san!"
"…Am I not a Sohma?" Hatori asked, curious in spite of himself.
"No! Of course not, Tori-san!" Ayame said, looking offended at the very thought. "You are above the house of Sohma! Why, you deserve to be in the house of-" He broke off, not knowing any large families other than the Sohmas.
"He's right, Haa-san!" Shigure nodded empathetically. "You are above us all, in integrity, patience, kindness-"
"Shigure, Ayame," Hatori said, looking stern, "as much as I appreciate the flattery, now is not the time."
"Oh, Ha'ri! You're so cold!" Shigure said as snowflakes swirled around him.
"I thought that was Yuki." Said Hatsuharu, emerging from a puff of smoke that no one had noticed.
"Well, yes, Yuki is cold as well. But Haa-san is like the snow that never melts!" Shigure intoned dramatically.
Hermione, still not paying full attention, flipped through the book. Only secondary characters were left…everyone else had been erased. "Well!" she said as brightly as she could manage, interrupting Shigure and Haru's discussion. "I think everyone's here, so I suppose I have some explaining to do."
"Damn right you do!" hollered Kyo, who had still apparently not overcome his rage and frustration (but then, if he ever does, it will be a miracle).
"Yes, Kyo, just don't blow a fuse. I'm Hermione Granger, and this-" Hermione gestured at the room in general- "is Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, in England."
"England?"
"Hogwarts?"
"Witchcraft?"
"…School?" Haru asked, and then wondered why they all looked at him funnily.
"Yes." Hermione said impatiently. "I was doing my Charms homework and I had to make something come to life temporarily. I was planning on this book, but well, something in the spell went wrong and I ended up summoning you to life instead, accidentally."
"What makes you think I'm gonna believe that crap?" Kyo asked rudely.
"Because I have the book with me." Hermione said simply, and showed him. Since Momiji had come out of the book, there was no one on the cover, but it did say "Fruits Basket" at the top in pretty pink letters. She opened the book to a random page and showed them. Speech bubbles were there, and a few people in the background, but there was clearly supposed to be someone in the middle of the panel that simply wasn't there. She read one of the bubbles. "You are the one person I will hate and hate and hate 'til they put me in my grave!"
"Hey, I said that just a little while ago!" Said Kyo, and then: "…oh."
Yuki stepped in. "But Miss Granger, if this is England, why can we understand each other? I don't speak much English, and I don't know if you can speak Japanese, but I don't think we should be able to communicate."
Hermione pondered it for a moment, then said, "I think…it might have to do with the book having been translated into English. I summoned you from a book in English, so you speak the language although you don't know it."
"I'll buy that, although I find it hard to believe that I'm a fictional character." Shigure spoke up.
"Maybe," Hermione said slowly, thinking as she went, "every time a book is written or translated, it creates an alternate universe where those characters exist and live and die. That would explain why you don't know that you're fictional in other worlds; it's because you're real enough in yours."
"Yes," cried Ayame loudly, "and if that's true, you could be a fictional character for all you know!"
Hermione smiled. "I suppose it's possible."
"I have one more question." Said Hatori. "What is this room?"
"This is the Room of Requirement. Basically, you think of something you want, and the room fills that desire. I asked for somewhere we wouldn't be disturbed, so this is what happened."
WHAM!
The door had suddenly been slammed open, and when Hermione turned around in shock, she saw a bit of pink kimono disappearing around the corner. Her eyes grew wide. "Oh no." She gasped. "Akito's loose in Hogwarts."
Hatori immediately took charge. "We're going to have to split up. If you find Akito, take him back here. We'll meet back in half an hour." Although he was doing a fine job of leading the group, he did not realize that Hogwarts was a gigantic castle, and unless they had a photographic memory, it was not likely they would find their way back to the Room of Requirement, or, if they did, be able to open it. Hermione was about to say this, but half the people had already left, so she shrugged and left too.
Akito ran down a flight of stairs two steps at a time (luckily for him, he missed the trick step that would have caught and trapped him) and ran down hallways until he doubled over, gasping for breath while leaning against a large painting of some fruit. His hand involuntarily scratched a pear, which amazingly turned into a doorknob underneath the palm of his hand. He opened it curiously and was surprised to see strange beings rushing toward him. They were all dressed very oddly, especially one that had five or six hats piled on its head.
One of the beings bowed to him and said in a high, squeaky voice: "Welcome to the kitchens. Is there anything we can do for you?"
Akito stared. Although he was from a quite unusual family, he had never seen anything like this before. From this train of thought, his mind produced the question: "What the hell are you?"
The thing bowed again. "We are house elves, your humble servants, sir. If there is anything we can do, by all means tell us. And if we fail to do so, sir, we shall punish ourselves."
Akito smiled evilly. Here were things that would do his bidding no matter what, and if they failed, they would even punish themselves! He decided he was going to enjoy this. "First of all, minions, I want a chair. The most comfortable you have…"
Hatori silently cursed as he strode down a wide set of steps. Damn Akito for this! Why couldn't he ever just behave? At the very least, he would stress himself out and then be bitchy for about two weeks. He was so preoccupied with his inner rantings that he didn't notice Snape until they ran into each other.
Snape was furious. Not only had he met this adult with the annoying hairstyle that covered half his face that didn't look familiar at all- was he here to meet with Dumbledore? –but he had been so busy ranting about Harry Potter that he had been clumsy and ran into him.
Hatori bowed. "I apologize for bumping into you. Please excuse me."
"No, it was my fault." Snape said icily. "May I ask your name?"
"I am Hatori Sohma. And you?"
"Professor Severus Snape" was the reply.
"A professor? That's a career that I never had time to pursue." Hatori said.
"Really? And just what is your profession?" Snape asked, a bit more warmly.
"I am a doctor. I am qualified to teach at a medical school, but I am my family's doctor and I don't get much free time."
Snape started. A doctor? Could he possibly be a Muggle? But that didn't make sense. Muggles couldn't get into the castle. But he couldn't possibly be a wizard or else he would have said "healer". "I think…" Snape hesitated, "that we should go to my office and have some tea while we discuss some of this."
"Thank you very much for your hospitality." Hatori accepted. He knew he wasn't getting anything done, but he had already discovered that the castle was much more complicated than it had first seemed. He followed the Head of Slytherin House down some stairs.
Shigure ran down random corridors; every once in a while, he would see someone and hide. If the person happened to be female, he would stare at them for a while until they were out of sight. He continued in this fashion until, looking at a door, he saw a sign that said "women" and had the universal sign for the girls' room.
He couldn't resist. He looked both ways, then quietly opened the door. Peeking in, he realized that no one was inside this bathroom. Oh well, he thought, I'll just stay here until someone shows up. Yup yup, I love high school girls!
Shigure walked all the way into the bathroom and was about to enter the first stall when a voice said mournfully, "I suppose you want to be mean to me."
Shigure jumped about three feet into the air. He could've sworn that this was an empty bathroom! "H-hello?" he asked cautiously.
A silvery form appeared through one of the stall doors. The form was a small, slightly chubby girl with glasses (1). She looked at him, then, with surprise evident in her voice, said, "YOU'RE not a girl. And you're not HIM, either. What are you doing here?"
After a few seconds that Shigure spent staring and Myrtle (for that's who it was) staring back, Shigure finally regained his voice and asked (very calmly, he thought), "Are you a ghost?"
Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, for Myrtle shrieked, "Oh, that's right, pretend you don't know. It's not like it'll make me feel any better! I'm just Moaning Myrtle; no one cares about me, so just feel free to make fun of me in any way possible! Ohhhhhhhhh!" she scaled up about two octaves into a high-pitched scream on the last word and dove through the stall door and into the toilet, which made a splashing sound as the water sloshed over the side.
Shigure stood there with a look of shock on his face for a good minute and a half, then shrugged and left, searching for more cute girls.
At about the same time that Shigure unwittingly disturbed Myrtle, the third member of the Mabudachi trio was prancing up and down corridors in an aimless fashion. Ayame, on a spur of the moment decision, turned a corner and literally banged into a certain pair of redheads. The box of fireworks that one had been carrying fell to the floor and for a few minutes, all was very loud as they exploded. When the smoke blew away, Ayame was left with slightly dirtier clothes and much dirtier hair.
"Oh damn, George! That was our best batch, too! What're we gonna do now?" One exclaimed.
"Right you are, Fred." Commented George. "But…who's this?"
Realizing that they were talking about him, Ayame proclaimed, in Ayame-like fashion, "I am Ayame Sohma, and it is a pleasure to meet you!" He bowed deeply.
Fred and George looked at each other. Simultaneously, they grinned. "Sorry, mate." Said Fred. "Didn't mean to bump into you like that. Let me fix you up."
"Why, thank you!" said Ayame, gratified.
Fred pulled out his wand. "Be done in a jiffy. Just let me see your hair."
"Damn him, damn him, damn him, DAMN IT ALL!" Kyo screamed out in frustration. He was walking (stomping is more accurate) down stairs; it didn't matter to him, but somehow, down just felt better. Like a descent into Hell. Yeah, that sounded good.
Kyo stomped down the wide marble steps into the entrance hall, ignored the grandness of it, looked around for more steps down, and saw them off to the side. He stomped down them and descended, unknowingly, into a kind of Hell, ruled over by the one and only Severus Snape.
He was wandering around the dungeons when he heard a voice say, "Well, of course, my father isn't an idiot like you."
Enter Malfoy and his minions. When he saw Kyo, Malfoy smirked. "Hey, get in the way of a coloring charm?"
"This is my natural color, idiot!" Kyo said roughly.
Malfoy flushed. "Don't you dare call me an idiot. You're not even wearing your robes. Did you forget you're at school or something? Bet you're a Mudblood."
Kyo didn't know what a Mudblood was, but he certainly could tell from this blond idiot's tone that it wasn't a compliment. What the hell, he decided, he was in a crazy bad mood, why not appease it? He punched Malfoy in the stomach and then basically KO'd him into a wall.
Crabbe and Goyle saw this and stared. Kyo grinned, cracked his knuckles, and asked, "Who's next?" They ran.
Yuki wandered around for a while and decided that he wanted to go outside. He wandered around for a while until he found a staircase that took him downstairs and into the entrance hall. Unlike Kyo, he stopped and looked around. Apparently the English were into very high ceilings. He saw the main doors standing open and hurried outside. It was a beautiful day; Yuki saw a lake in the distance and some people sitting near it.
He walked further outside, then turned around to look at his surroundings. Although he had realized that the building was large, he hadn't even suspected that it was a castle. It was too bright to look up; the sun was right above the castle, so he turned and concentrated on the grounds. To his delight, there were greenhouses in the distance. He headed toward them; maybe there were some interesting plants there. He had no idea.
Up stairs, down corridors, down stairs, up corridors. Up some more stairs, behind a tapestry, past a picture of a very fat woman in a pink dress, down some more stairs.
I really hope someone's found Akito by now. It would be terrible if someone got hurt or angry. Actually, though, even if I did find Akito, I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I know the way back to that room. Oh no! I'm lost! What should I do? Oh no, oh no, oh no. These were the thoughts of Tohru Honda as she wandered the halls of Hogwarts like so many others before her, namely Ayame and Shigure. She, like Yuki and Kyo, ended up in the entrance hall, and, like Yuki, saw the doors standing open and left the castle.
Unlike Yuki, though, she didn't see the greenhouses; rather, she saw a small hut near the edge of a forest. How cute! It looks so peaceful, with the forest there, it must be nice.
Tohru strolled over; as she neared the hut, a gigantic dog came bounding out and practically tackled her to the ground. "Fang! Where'd you go? Ah, there you are-Fang! FANG! What're ya doin to her? Get off 'er, ya idiot!"
Fang mercifully left Tohru be, and she lay on the ground for a minute, her heart pounding. A very large shadow fell over her, and a gruff voice asked, "Ya all righ', miss? It's okay, Fang's jus' rough sometimes. Here, lemme help ya."
Tohru was suddenly lifted off her back, set on her feet, and gently brushed off so that her knees nearly buckled. "I'm sorry," she managed. "'S all righ', why don't ya come back to me hut an' have a cup o' tea?"
"S-sure." Tohru stumbled as she followed Hagrid back to his hut. "Sounds…nice."
Unlike Yuki, Kagura quickly realized that she was in a castle. All she had to do was look out a window, and the towers said it themselves. So she decided to go up and see the view from the top.
At first, it was difficult to find staircases that went up, but she found that if she simply punched through every tapestry she passed, she would either discover a staircase or hit a wall. After a few flights, it got easier and easier to find more stairs going up. There were also fewer pictures on the walls.
She paused at an empty stretch of grass in a plain looking frame. "Interesting." She commented. She considered punching it out. She did so. She looked at the hole she had left in the canvas.
Kagura had turned away when an angry little voice shouted, "Look at what you did to my frame!" She turned around in surprise, but what she saw shocked her further. A knight had appeared in the picture! "EEK!" she shrieked, and ran. The knight ran after her, but Kagura was much faster, and soon his threats were behind her.
Kagura ran and ran and ran up and up steps until she came to a landing. It was a dead end. "What? No way!" She was about to punch a wall out when she looked up and saw a trapdoor in the ceiling. She pulled a cord, and a ladder descended to her. She climbed it curiously. The view up here must be spectacular! I'll have to find Kyo and show him!
Momiji skipped outside into the sunlight. What a nice day it was, perfect for –swimming!
He hurried over to the lake. Boy, it was hot. He pulled off his shirt and jumped in. "Yay! This could only be more fun if Tohru were here!" he exclaimed as he swam deeper.
Half an hour later, Momiji was cooled down considerably. He was floating peacefully, softly singing one of his favorite songs: "Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing 'Momiji'. The frogs in the pond are calling, Momiji yes, it's true." He sang it over and over to himself and slowly drifted on the lake. It was a beautiful day.
Kazuma sat inside the Room of Requirement. He had realized from Hermione's description that the room wouldn't stay open if everyone left, so he did his duty and made sure that if someone managed to find their way back, the room would still be there. I wonder how Kyo is doing out there, he thought, rightly guessing that Kyo was angry and more than likely violent. He sighed and pulled out one of Shigure's books.
It seems that in Hogwarts, all roads lead to the entrance hall, because, like Yuki, Kyo, Tohru, and Momiji before him, Haru also ended up there. He, however, didn't go outside or into the dungeons. He saw the great hall door standing slightly open, and went to it. He opened it enough to enter, did so, and looked around.
The first thing he saw was the ceiling. Fluffy white clouds were floating across it. He had to crane his neck to look at it, so instead he pulled out one of the benches at the Slytherin table, which happened to be the closest, laid back, and watched the clouds go by.
(1) As I haven't seen the second Harry Potter movie since it came out, I'm kinda fuzzy on Myrtle's description, but I think I'm close. If not, oh well.
A/N: Yay, done! This one is way longer too: I swear there is sweat and blood on the keyboard. Well, not really. But it'd be kinda funny if there was. And now for reviewer responses! But first, there's an author's note at the end, PLEASE READ IT. I will love you forever. Or, if you don't want love, I'll give you a cookie. Or something.
Cherrymilkkisses: I know this isn't soon, but I'm sorry! Now you have an excuse to celebrate! C'mon, it's nearly impossible to forget about Shigure…Haru, on the other hand…I mean, I love Haru, but-oh SHIT! I FORGOT HARU! scrolls up and BS's a Haru adventure There, done. Once again, I'm sorry for such a late update, and thanks for reviewing!
Riles: I know you're gonna kill me. So let's get this over with. ((squeezes eyes shut))…No? Well, I still feel guilty as all hell, so I'll pull a Ritsu: I'M SO SORRY! ALL I DO IS WASTE OXYGEN, I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! I ONLY CAUSE TROUBLE FOR THOSE AROUND ME AND EVERYONE HATES ME! ((spazzes)) And you're right, I probably did give Akito away, but oh well. People were gonna have to deal with it anyway, so I guess sooner rather than later. So once again, don't kill me! Thanks for your review, and I'M SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE I INEVITABLY CAUSE EVERYONE!
Spiritsflame: Heehee. Thanks! I love laughing at characters' misfortunes, especially if I don't like them ((cough cough Akito)), and I'd be like "ha ha, you're being threatened, you might die!" Anyway, thankies for your revieweez.
Watergirlshaman: Here it is! Hope you enjoyed.
Madame D: Thank you! I'm continuing!
Makurayami Ookami: Yessss…Akito loose is bad in extreme! And he's loose again, this time on the house elves! Thanks for the review! By the way, I like your name. It sounds YuYu Hakusho-ish. Am I right, or am I stupid?
Bubbley Waffles: About your question: umm…basically whenever I feel like. I can't really decide, so it's AU, I guess. I used your idea, by the way, thank you very much! I liked it, violence is fun. And Shigure hasn't met Snape, but maybe he will…hmmm…((ponders)) Thanks for the review!
Kyoru fan: Thanks for your comments…I generally don't read Harry Potter fanfics anymore either, but I absolutely adore well written crossovers. Honestly, I hate Akito too…Akito should be executed slowly and painfully with lots of blood and toothpicks…bwahahaha. If I'm scaring you, please tell me. ; Thanks again for the review!
Neori: Here it is! And I will ask you too: don't kill me, please? And no more cliffies! Just general…leavings off. Thanks for the review!
Darth Granger: Nice to meet another Sith lord. And look, no bishie withdrawal. I'm holding you to that cookie promise. Thanks for the review!
Last A/N: I solemnly swear…that I am up to no good. Just kidding! I swear to you that I will have this next chapter up in a month. In Tohru's words, that "infinitely heavy weight" that we call writer's block is GONE! WOO! I actually know what to write next! So if you next see me after December 3rd, well, I'm running from a mob. Thanks again for all of your lovely reviews! Until chapter 5-that-is-less-than-a-month-away,
Genny62890