Reincarnation

by Rallalon

Everyone's favorite Lemurian is going to out live his friends by millennia. But with a cycle of rebirth, who says that's a bad thing?

23. to the present night at sea

Yugi the Other White Meat: You probably hear this all the time, but I love your name. Thanks!

TemplarofNi: Sorry about the slowness.

Avari: Thanks.

Rozzlyn: Things are probably going to get more abstract as the story goes along.

Procne: Would you believe that you're the second person to bring up the Wheel of Time series in eight days? Be critical all you want and feel free to tell me what you think.

End of Response Section

1/22/05

There should not be finals for gym class. It goes against all that gym stands for.

I have, on the other hand, discovered that I love gerbils.

1/23/05 s I'm getting to find the uploading thing very /s I've been finding the uploading issues very annoying for what seems like a very long while. Everything I use as a page break seems to get deleted. The first time, it was three underlined periods. This time, it's a bit different.

Disclaimer: Rallalon does not own Golden Sun, any of its characters, places or items. Nor does she own pebbles, Russian, murderesses, cards, conversations, contradictions, experiences, lacks, or various other things she doesn't feel like owning. On the other hand, she now owns one half a gerbil; as the gerbil is still in one piece, this makes her very happy.

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

"It's not up to you."

"I'm still against it."

"Your point?"

"I'm still against it."

"It's still not up to you."

"I know that."

"Then why are you going on like this?"

"Just wanted to let you know."

"As if I'd think your opinion was anything else?"

'Will you stop that, Sheena? It's getting irritating.'

'He started it,' she told Sheba, glaring at Matthew as the guy started to stare off into space, looking like he was arguing with someone in his head as well. But losing. Ha.

'And?'

'I shouldn't have continued,' she intoned.

There was a moment of silence followed by a burst of amusement. 'Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to my daughter.'

Sheena answered with a smile.

Matthew glared at her.

"Hey! Lovebirds!"

The glare was then focused on its owner's cousin as Sheena felt her eyebrow give an involuntary twitch. "What is it, Jen?" Matthew finally asked.

"Everybody inside the cabin! We're choosing how we're going to divide up for tomorrow," Jen announced to all on deck, about six people, Jen included.

"What do you mean?" Sheena inquired as Ian(?) and Gary(?) headed in.

"Well, let's just say that not everyone has their parents' approval for being here. So we figured that if we could try to hit both remaining Lighthouses tomorrow, things would go . . . faster, at least. We figure that it would be better on everyone's nerves, and Lemuria's future political position, if this was over in four days, not five."

Sheena was now even gladder that she'd been able to convince her parents to let her come. Transplanting knowledge via Mind Read was a valuable skill to have; not only was it good to learn different languages, but it helped stop people from sending you to a mental hospital. But . . . "Five? There are only four Lighthouses."

"We spent a night in Lemuria."

"Ah. Well, I'm going to Jupiter; that's a given."

"True. But we'd still like you in there." Jen raised an eyebrow at Matthew, daring him to disagree.

"Alright."

With Matthew and an ill-looking Satornil following(Matthew in a far more steady manner), the pair of girls entered into the main cabin and into a large group discussion. The over seven of them were already sitting and standing around the room with miscellaneous Djinn, all assembled close to a table with some sort of markers on it. Sheena sat down next to May with Jen beside her.

"Now that we're all here," Picard began, clearly in control of the situation, "first is who wants to go to where and who needs to go to where."

"Dolgorukii and I would be best for Mars," Makrina said before adding "And Matthew" as an afterthought. The reason was clear; not only did they speak the language, there was a chance that they knew the area near the Lighthouse.

"I'm good with that," Matthew said as Sheena had the oddest feeling that someone was staring, no, glaring at her back again, "though Felix is undecided."

"Da for both of us," Satornil agreed.

Three counters out of the main pile to form their own, two red, one yellow.

"I already know I'm going to Jupiter," Sheena admitted before asking, "Does anyone know where Ivan is?"

"Gust is missing," Echo pointed out.

"He is?"

Echo mimicked a sound of disgust. "No one pays attention to Djinn anymore." Several others of said creatures chirped their agreement.

"I find it hard not to," Saturos(?) countered. "There's just too many of you flying around to keep track of."

"Eighteen of each color, you call that too many?"

"To quote my counter-part: da."

Sheena figured now was a good time to butt in, before the Proxan got himself Djinnified by a mob of affronted creatures with Psynergy. "So who's coming with me? Now that we know who's needed where."

"I will," Ian volunteered. Considering his company otherwise, it made a fair bit of sense.

"Ditto," Xander said and May quickly echoed. It seemed both the minds in May's body had taken it upon themselves to monitor all of Alex's, and therefore Xander's, actions.

Two red and a yellow; one purple, one yellow, and two blue.

Sheba picked up on an emotional tension of sorts, coming from behind them. Wishing she had enough experience to do that, Sheena glanced back. Gary. Well, ever since she'd first seen him, there'd been a tension of sorts, as if he were struggling just to remain sane. This was different; he was torn. Between . . . ?

"I'll go, too," said Jen who seemed to have noticed Sheena's glance.

The tension behind her released. "Me three."

Clink, clink. Two red and a yellow; two red, a purple, a yellow, and two blue. Four counters remained, three blue, one a semi-clear gray.

"For balance's sake, I think I'll be going to Mars," Picard decided and with a questioning glance at the other two Lemurians, dropped all three blue counters into the Mars pile. Clink, clink, clink. As no objections were raised, he turned to the last member of the group. "Dr. Crade?"

The old man pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Jupiter. The oldest in that group so far is, what, eighteen?" he asked Xander. At the teen's nod, he continued, "I think it best I go with them."

Clink. "So tomorrow we Teleport to one Lighthouse, leave the according group there and Teleport to the next Lighthouse, simple."

"And if we only discover where one Lighthouse is?" Xander(?) asked.

"Then we just wasted five minutes," Menardi told him in a semi-menacing manner. It might have been Alex talking after all.

There was a brief pause. "So what now?"

"We eat?"

"We eat."

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

"So you see the problem."

The woman looked up at him for the first time and Aquae had to rein in his urge to step back. "I don't think you see mine."

"As of a few days ago, Rebecca, you've had two problems." He paused slightly, suddenly afraid of a reaction from calling her by her first name. "You've had a long time to mull over the first one. The second, I would think you'd care more about."

The murderess continued to simply look at him with that unnerving, weighing look. "And why is that?" She had to be aware of how much she was getting to him. And she was getting to him.

Be someone who Adrian would be proud to call his tutor, he told himself in hopes it would help. Play this game of cards right and nearly show your hand; bait her. "You are aware of which young man keeps almost constant company with King Piers, are you not?"

No reaction.

"No?" he asked, feinting surprise. "I would have thought he'd told you."

Her expression had changed slightly, but only for a moment. What had been that expression? Curiosity? Dread?

"But really," he continued, silently apologizing to the one he was referring to, "I shouldn't be surprised if he didn't want you to know what with . . . you know."

There was a reluctant acceptance in the woman's expression. Very reluctant. ". . . Is he . . . happy?"

"Last I saw him? None more so. From what I've seen, he still has a bit of a child-like side, but . . ." Emotional trauma will do that to a person. This would be so much easier if he knew more about the man!

"And if King Piers were to die . . . ?"

"I doubt Andrew would recover."

The woman continued to study him, but in a different fashion than before. No less intense, yet . . . slightly less hostile. "What exactly do you want me to do?"

"Which side are you on?" Aquae countered. Needless to say, telling her at this stage would not be a good idea by any means.

"The one that lets my son be happy. And, of course, me as well."

"As far as I can tell, there's only one that's making an offer."

"As far as I can tell," she countered, "you're going to try to save the precious king, and therefore Andrew, whatever I choose to do."

"As far as I can tell, non-involvement won't improve your surroundings."

A slight rise of the eyebrow. He had her. "And what are these… improved surroundings?"

"Larger living space. Better view. Better food. Possibly a courtyard. At the very least, a change in scenery for the better."

"I promise my aid to you in whatever this is and you promise that's what I get? My son safe and better living if I survive?"

That gave him slight pause, but he spoke through it; he hadn't wanted her to know the full risks. "I so swear to do such, on the condition that you carry out your agreed upon task to the best of your ability and do not tell any other of this conversation. In the instance of your breaking, I shall not do such and attempt the opposite."

One last weighing look and then she took the plunge. "This is understood," Rebecca the Killer replied in the traditional fashion. "I so swear to do such, on the condition that you, or another allied to you, uphold your end of this bargain. In the instance of your breaking, I shall re-earn my title."

Without hesitation, Aquae replied, "This is understood." There wasn't any risk about her killing him, really. Not now.

"So what do I have to do?"

"When King Piers returns, there is the possibility that an attack would be made on the King's ship. Your son would be on that ship with the King, Lord Crest or both. Supposing the King is on the ship, an effort may be made to kill him. Supposing the King is not on the ship, Lord Crest will be put down for treason. Supposing both are alive, an attack may be made on the King. If the last is the case, Lord Crest should not be trusted; it's the best possibility in this situation for him, if he picks the winning side."

"You want me to stop damage to the King. And if he is not on the ship?"

"Then he is dead or will be declared treasonous."

"So. A coup d'état. Why are you siding with the King, if it's not to much to ask?"

Aquae thought his answer over for a moment deciding on the wording. "I know very well that he isn't the best ruler Lemuria could have hoped for. I know that there's always a chance of political upheaval whenever he leaves, which he always does, every twenty years. But I know he can keep the Senate in line and make good changes. The standard of living has stayed the same, even gone up slightly, something it should not have with the Theory of Depletion-"

"Which is?"

"Psynergy is waning. I'd prefer to go into more detail, but I fear we may be short on time."

She proved her good facial control once again but her posture became uneasy. She was soon back to business, though. "How will I get into the harbor?"

"It will be arranged. You will be escorted by another or myself. You will recognize your escort by the greeting 'Seems as if a storm's coming in' or something similar."

"When can I expect this to happen?"

"It might take months." I hope it will. The mainland should be fairly far away. And if it didn't . . . I wonder if Adrian's found anything yet. "Still, anything's possible. They might have need to turn back; why I don't know, but it's a possibility."

The murderess nodded, but said nothing else.

"It's time I took my leave of you," he said louder and far more curtly than he had been speaking previously as he made his way into the front hall. "Good day."

Exiting the small building, he turned to the guards and proceeded to ramble on about the book a certain Senator with an unnerving fondness for a certain murderess had borrowed. Such a pity he hadn't found it; he'd been assured that's where it had been left. And he'd had to go through an unsettling encounter with said murderess to only discover that the book was not there! The outrage, losing books like that! Didn't the guard think so? Why, he remembered a time when books and scrolls were special items, to be looked after and valued. Yes, there had been some fine documents back then. Hadn't the guards read any? No? Pity, such a pity. Why, he remembered another young gent, rather similar in appearance to one of them, who had done very little learning in his youth. Wasted, those years were. What, oh yes, he had someplace else he needed to be, but not for a while yet. Now where had he left off? Ah, yes. . .

Aquae allowed himself to feel a certain amount of pride as the two men tried to fend him off without offending, too distracted by his well-known senile behavior to ask questions as it would only prolong the conversation.

And people wondered why he of all people was Adrian's mentor.

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

"Picard?"

"Yes, Jenna?"

"Where's the Douse Drop?"

"Here it is. Why?"

"I'm guessing you've noticed that most of us haven't bathed in at least two days."

"The tub's still on this ship somewhere. The Djinn would probably know where."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem."

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

She liked the rocking of the ship and the smell of salt. Despite having just eaten, she felt fine, the opposite of the Mars Adepts onboard. She knew from Mia that she was more compatible with the solid or drinkable forms of her element, but the ocean was a pleasant place for her as well.

"So."

May gave a slight jump and turned around, her hand holding onto the railing more tightly. "So what?"

Xander shrugged. "Nothing, just trying to start a conversation."

"Not the best starter." The part of her that understood how Mia felt about Alex wanted her to distance herself from Xander and was trying to do so. Then there was the part that firmly understood that, no matter what this reincarnation thing told them, Xander wasn't Alex and so wanted to stick by him. Had Xander been anything like his counterpart, May would never have been considering asking him out. Of course, those plans were now dead, or at the very least put on hold.

Mia was right: Alex was a bother.

"It's working so far." He stretched his arms out for a moment before joining her by the rail, staring off into the waters, the waves sparkling like diamonds in the remaining light from a sun nigh to setting.

Okay, now she was waxing poetic. For some reason, May didn't think that was a good sign. Especially when it was considered who else resided in Xander's head.

Hmm. A strange thought. 'Mia?' she asked. 'How is it that out of all the Mercury Adepts, only Alex can Warp?'

'I don't know. I've wondered since I first saw him do it, but I don't know.' A pause. 'You want to ask him.'

'Xander, yes.'

'Why?'

'You just said you always wondered.'

Taking the silence for permission -- not that she needed permission; she just wanted to make sure she didn't offend Mia -- she looked to Xander . . . and paused.

His face, his eyes, the small scar she'd seen him get scratching at a mosquito bite too hard, his hair with blue starting to come in at the roots, all of it was undeniably Xander. But . . . something in his posture, a slight nuance of his expression . . . there was a change, a fusion of sorts. A frown that could be mistaken for a smile at first glance had meshed with the furrowed brow that signified there was something heavy on his mind. The slight slouch was even slighter and his weight was on his right leg more. Odd how all the details were jumping out, how she could tell so easily what was . . . not exactly wrong, but . . . not right either. Changed. In a way that caused her, and Mia, an irrational fear.

He seemed sadder than one person could possibly be, meaning something was wrong for both of them. There was regret and there was pain, that was for certain. Over what, neither May or may could begin to guess at. What did Xander have to deal with that made him look so despairing? With how the expressions were fused, it seemed doubtful that Alex could be the problem, unless Alex was having troubles with Alex as well.

A blue-green eye glanced in her direction and Xander turned his head to meet her gaze fully. Just like that, all traces of Alex vanished, as if the sight she'd seen but seconds before had never existed.

"What?"

Still rather disturbed and concerned, May forced a smile and shook her head. "Nothing. Just thinking."

He smiled back, but once again, there was something not quite right about it, not completely like the Xander she knew. But not Alex-y either.

Her smile faded to be replaced by a concerned frown. She wanted to know what was wrong, but she didn't want to pry either, strangely unsure of their relationship.

"You alright?" Xander asked her.

She looked him in the eye and her shoulders started to shake from the effort to hold the emotion that resulted in.

Slightly more anxious, he continued, looking as if he were wondering if a comforting hug was appropriate. "May, you know you can talk to me and, uh, I, well. Yeah, I stink at this, I know."

He was trying to comfort her. This was too much. May promptly started laughing so hard it was difficult to remain standing. It seemed to be infectious and soon the both of them were red-faced and dizzy. At one point, Xander choked out something along the lines of "Why are we laughing?" to which she mouthed back "I don't know. Stress?" and that had only made him laugh harder.

Sinking down to the deck before her knees could give out while still trying to hold onto the rail, she thought she saw a Venus Djinni, somehow looking somewhat disappointed, fly off of the cannon to who-knows-where.

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

Once it had been decided that they would be splitting ways come morning, Felix and Sheba had come up with a deal. A small, teeny-tiny little deal that would be no problem whatsoever just because it was that teeny-tiny of a little deal. Felix and Sheba wanted to spend some time together. And so . . .

"Your hand's sweaty."

"That would be yours," Matthew countered. This was not fun. This was not even remotely pleasant. It was the opposite and he hated it. A lot, very much, extremely, severely, totally, absolutely. . .

It was boring too. And irritating. And . . . he was ranting, wasn't he?

"Come on," he said abruptly, standing up and giving her hand a tug.

"Come on where?"

"Outside. Too stuffy in here."

"Don't let Picard hear you saying that," she countered, but followed without complaint.

He rolled his eyes. "I can see why your parents was letting come with us."

She glared.

I. Am. Good.

"It's a Jupiter Adept thing." The angered expression suddenly turned unsettlingly devious. "I bet I could convince you to jump off the side of the boat."

Suddenly the simple physical contact of handholding was worse in a whole new, Psynergetic way. He forced himself to meet her eyes. "So long as you stay on it, I'm not entirely against that plan." He attempted a smirk. "And don't let Picard hear you saying it's a boat." Not the best comeback, but it would do.

It occurred to him that only a few days ago, he wouldn't have ever had enough guts to bicker with someone who was practically a complete stranger. That was a strange thought. Maybe the confidence came from Felix, like how Felix's acceptance of the situation made him accept it as well. But then why had he accepted Felix? He assumed he had a choice in the matter; Gary was sure displaying that he did. Assuming Felix's confidence hadn't leaked into his mind before Matthew had come to grips with everything, why had he decided that Felix was alright? Why had he decided that he was going along with the whole Lighthouse thing?

Questions, questions . . . he thought as he led the way out to the deck.

One of them being why Xander and May were laughing their heads off. He quirked an eyebrow and wrote it off to being tired/stressed/possessed. Xander regained a straight face, if it could be called that, and gave him a look equal to "I don't get it either, but whatever it was, it was funny."

Matthew mouthed back "Okay then."

"Let's leave the lovebirds alone," Sheena prompted.

"Before you get any ideas," he told her before finding himself on the receiving end of the squeeze-the-other-person's-hand-so-hard-that-it-might-break game.

Obviously, he squeezed back.

Whyisn'tanythinguploadinganymoreIaskyou?

He leaned back, smiling softly as he fingered his braid, playing with it. The smile grew as he spotted a split end.

And promptly vanished.

How long? How much time did that imply? Or was it simply an affect of his diet? Or-

Did it even matter? He'd known long ago that his death was unlikely to be from natural causes. Assassination or . . . otherwise, it would end eventually. He would end eventually. Once everything was sorted out. Once he could be sure his responsibilities could be born by another . . .

Focusing on the sound of the waters encompassing his ship, blocking out the noise of speech and laughter, he turned his head slightly, staring at the ceiling. It was rather ironic how the problems of one's life were what could keep one living it. The lack, and the hope one would keep simply so that it might be filled. The struggle and the instinctual need to fight back. Life.

He tried to get the feeling back, the one that Mirante Venu had allowed him. He tried, and failed. An experience. It certainly had been one.

"Milord?"

Smile, nod, reassure. Dismiss lightly, look thoughtful yet content, show promise of conversation later.

Life was a thing of contradictions, of joyful grief and timid strength. Life and death; the sides of a coin. What was the other side like, he would wonder? Did his friends, returned to him for these short moments, know and were refusing to tell? Or were they simply unable to comprehend it now that they were once again in the realm of the living? Beyond the living to know death and there beyond the dead to understand the living?

Wonder, curiosity, ideals. Disappointment, despair, reality. The wandering mariner and the responsible king. To know both sides of the coin at once.

As his gaze drifted along the ceiling beams, he was forced to wonder. Why was he simply sitting here?! Why didn't he go among those he would call his companions, comrades, friends? Was he to simply sit back and watch after all the waiting? Was too much gone, changed? Had he merely been clinging to the idea, hoping just to fill the lack?

The lack would never be filled. Caused by the simple fact that humans were ill suited to live beyond their time, it would remain until death. Was there any fear of it anymore? As he had told the Lighthouse, no, not any longer. Looking back, he assumed the drop she had put him through was to prove this. Why, he was unsure of; the results, he was pondering. What was he afraid of?

An unexpected out-burst from one of the youths momentarily drew his eye, watching as the boy's girlfriend took him by the hand and led him out of the main room for privacy. The struggle, the fight. So easy to tell what the boy was afraid of, so easy.

It wasn't lack of control that was his fear. Not his main fear anyway. . .

If he could keep this moment, he would. Surrounded by people he did care about, could care about, there was an amount of contentment, spoiled only by the knowledge that it couldn't last, couldn't be kept or preserved except in memory, fallible even with the crystals set on his self at home. This wouldn't last, couldn't. Time stripped away any illusions, hopeful or otherwise.

It stripped away memories as well. And losing those, having the shaping events of his life being forgotten or repressed . . . frightened him. More than he would like to admit.

Why was he sitting around philosophizing? His friends were here now; there would be time for thinking later.

There always would be.