Disclaimer: It's Saban's sandbox. I just play here because it's fun.
Author's Note: We are continuing our move forward through the Zeo Universe (with minor alterations). Because of this part's sheer size and differences I'm dividing it into two parts with the next one to be posted sometime within the next week. This section falls possibly the same day to a day after Jason takes the Gold Ranger powers.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lilac Moon for her company and encouragement.
**Denotes Thoughts**
- + - + - + - + - + -
"You have got to find a better hiding place."
Looking up at Kat's gentle chiding, Billy gave her a wane smile and set down his pliers. "I wasn't hiding."
The Pink Ranger crossed her arms and responded with a look that plainly said 'that's a load of bullshit and you know it'. He fought the urge to wince. Though he rarely heard Kat utter even the mildest of curses, she had the ability to issue a silent string of profanity with a look. He hated being on the receiving end.
Backing down, he ran a hand across his face and murmured, "I just needed to get away."
Her expression softening at his admission, Kat crouched beside him and looked over his shoulder at the patch job he was in the middle of. "You should have left this for me."
"I needed something mindless."
"Can't get much more mindless than a patch. You could probably do this in your sleep."
"I think I actually did that once."
Smiling a little, Kat touched his shoulder, "Everyone started asking where you went."
The young engineer sighed and turned back to his work. "I'm not going back to the party."
"And I wasn't going to ask you to." As though to prove herself, she handed him the next tool he would need without being asked. "I'm actually surprised you stayed as long as you did."
"So am I."
For a long moment, she looked at him as though willing him to say something else, but when he remained stubbornly silent she moved to sit down.
"You'll ruin your dress."
"Good."
"Kat . . ."
The look was back. Meeting his eyes with a gaze of defiance, she picked out the dirtiest possible spot and sat. "Like I'm any more likely to wear this dress again than you are to wear that sweater."
Glancing down at his grease stained cream sweater, he had to acknowledge she was right. Up until tonight this had been one of his few pieces of nice clothing, and he had actually gone through a lot of trouble to keep it that way because he liked it. Now though . . . well it didn't matter how many grease stains it had because as soon as he got home he was throwing it away . . . unpleasant associations.
"I wish you had told me you were leaving. I would have come with you."
He shook his head. "You were with Tommy, and he would have asked why I was leaving."
"Right, of course, because God forbid you spoil *their* moment with *your* feelings."
Billy flinched at the acid sarcasm that laced Kat's voice. He had never heard her speak with such bitterness about anything or anyone, much less her teammates who usually received only kind thoughts and sweet smiles. The stark contrast made her outburst of feeling seem all the more brutal.
He just didn't have the resources to deal with this right now. "Please Captain, if you're going to be angry with me, can we put it off until tomorrow?"
Running a hand over her face, she sighed --- a deep bone-tired sigh that reflected everything he should be feeling at that moment, as though she was somehow reaching inside him and externalizing all the emotions he was still too numb to feel. "I'm not angry with you. I'm just . . . frustrated with the whole situation. How could you let them celebrate like that?"
"The addition of a new Ranger is cause for celebration."
"Dammit Billy, that new Ranger should have been you!"
And there it was, hanging in the silence --- the basis for her frustration and the source of the ice flow that had replaced his blood leaving him too cold to feel --- one dashed hope. A hope that they hadn't even had a right to.
Fighting to maintain control because it was all he had right now, Billy murmured, "Obviously it just wasn't meant to be."
Kat stared at him, dumbfounded, and grumbled, "I wish you wouldn't pretend to be so calm about this."
"At the moment I think you're angry enough for both of us."
"Well someone should be. I still can't believe you gave Tommy your permission to throw the party."
"He wasn't really asking for my permission."
"He asked you whether you were okay with the party. If you had said anything he wouldn't have had it."
Dropping his pliers, he glared over at her, and snapped, "What was I supposed to say, Kat? What could I possibly have said that wouldn't have resulted in the team thinking I resent Jason?"
Apparently finding whatever was in his eyes too disconcerting, she dropped her head down to stare at the floor. Just as he thought that she would remain silent, she whispered, "Do you?"
The question brought him up short. His first instinct was to say no, of course he didn't resent the guy, who had been his first leader and like a brother to him, stepping up when he was needed. Yet at the memory of seeing Jason able to help when once again he couldn't, there was this sick feeling that wouldn't go away. Every thought and emotion seemed to be twisted up in other contradictory ones, and he didn't want to try to sort it out yet.
"I don't know." He finally responded, deliberately catching her gaze, hoping she would understand that at the moment it was the only answer he had.
Kat slumped against the wall, a little of the fight gone out of her. "I'm sorry. You're right, it was completely out of line for Tommy to put you in that position."
Falling back on his habitual unquestioning support of their leader, Billy shook his head. "He tried to do the right thing in a difficult situation. It was important to make Jason feel like a part of the team as quickly as possible, and the party was a good way."
"I just hated that everyone seemed so obliviously happy."
"We're good at accentuating the positive. It's how we cope." He turned back to his work, uncertain whether he was explaining their actions to himself or to her. "I've actually always liked that about our friends. With everything we've been through, it would be nearly unbearable if we couldn't find a silver lining."
"Are you finished trying to convince yourself that you're okay with that?"
Taking a moment to put the cover back over the panel he had been working on, Billy nodded, "Yeah, I think I'm done."
"Good."
"I'm not ready to actually talk about this, Captain."
"Then we'll dwell, Doctor. Let everyone else have their silver-lining. We can take the storm clouds."
Managing a half-hearted smile at Kat's willingness to just be there for him in whatever way he needed, Billy came and sat down beside her.
"You'll ruin your pants."
"Good."
Snorting softly at having her words turned on her, Kat leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "Welcome to the storm."
Normally Billy would have said that the bitterness in her voice and anger written across his Captain's face marred her warm, inviting beauty, but not tonight. The knowledge that she was angry on his behalf, for his disappointments, transformed her into perfection --- his avenging angel.
**I don't deserve her indignation** Of course, given the way he had acted at the party he didn't even deserve her presence here. God, he had been such an asshole. Kat had spent most of the party trying to talk to him, and he had spent most of the party avoiding her. Every time she caught his eye, he had looked away. Every time she walked up to him, he had suddenly found a conversation across the room interesting.
Billy had berated himself the entire night, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that the perfectly dressed, beautiful blonde on Tommy Oliver's arm wasn't the same girl who knew him. The girl standing across the room didn't know how he took his coffee or how he had cried. She couldn't do a patch job or look pretty in grease stains and torn jeans. She wouldn't have called him Doctor because she wasn't his Captain.
More than anything that was why he had left the party. Because standing there watching her with Tommy had made him feel more alone than anything else. So he had come here hoping his Captain would show, and sure enough she had. Only much to his surprise she was the same girl he'd been avoiding all night.
That realization brought forth a whole new set of feelings inside him --- joy that Kat had not decided he wasn't worth the effort, disgust with himself for being such a jerk, and something . . . ugly directed very forcefully towards Tommy.
Clenching his jaw tight Billy rested his arms across his knees, pressed his head against them, and tried very hard to push that final emotion away. The absolute last thing he needed was to add whatever that was to the mixture of resentful, ugly emotions simmering inside him. The addition of that might just cause the whole thing to boil over.
He didn't know how long they stayed that way, sitting together nursing their disappointment. In someway being in Kat's presence acted a balm for his soul. As though the sheer fact that someone chose to acknowledge that this day had not been a joyful one siphoned off some of the bitterness. Still the anger remained, providing a fierce undercurrent to the silence.
Kat was the first to allow herself to be swept back into it. Slamming her fist against the metal wall, she pronounced, "Dammit, you don't deserve this."
His head still resting against his arms, Billy muttered, "I'm not inclined to disagree with you on that point."
"How's your storm cloud?"
"Dark and cold, I think this would just be so much easier if I could be mad at someone other than myself."
"How can you possibly be mad at yourself?"
Sighing, Billy lifted his head and leaned back against the wall. "Because I'm so angry at everyone, and none of them deserve it, not really. I have all these feelings of rancour and resentment, but who do I direct them at? Jason because he helped the team? Tommy because he was a good leader? Tanya because I gave her a crystal she's earned five times over? Rocky and Adam simply because they were happy to have a new Ranger to help in the battle?"
"Yes!" Kat practically shouted the word, and he looked at her in surprise. That was not the answer he'd been expecting.
Calming down a little she continued. "Be mad at one of them or all of them. Heck be angry with me. Just don't focus everything you've got in your direction. Who cares how noble everyone else's reasons for their actions are? The point is you got the short end of the stick, and for at least a few days you have license to be angry with the entire world."
The young engineer just stared at her. "I could never be angry with you, Captain."
Covering her face with her hands, Kat shook her head. "Is that all you heard me say?"
"No, I heard the rest, but I don't have any right."
"You've got more right than me, and I'm mad at everyone. I'm mad at Tommy because he's so good at being a leader that sometimes he forgets to be a friend. I'm mad at Tanya and Adam because they're so caught up in their new relationship that they can't see anything besides each other."
"They're dating?"
"Hey, I'm tirading here, but yes they're dating."
Her mock indignation at being interrupted caused Billy to smile just a little. He motioned for her to continue.
"I'm irrationally angry at the rest of the team too. I'm mad at Rocky for wearing blue. I'm mad at Jason just because. I'm even mad at Trey!"
"Why?"
Suddenly finding the floor extremely fascinating, Kat whispered, "Because it was him under that helmet instead of you."
Billy felt as though he had just slammed against a wall. "Kat . . . you didn't think I would have kept something like that from the team . . . from you. All you ever had to do was ask . . ."
She gave him a weak smile, "Why do you think I didn't? I just wanted that for you so badly because I knew how much it would mean to you. So I managed to convince this small portion of myself that he really was you. Even came up with all these stupid reasons why you couldn't tell me."
"Like what?" Billy prompted gently, wanting to hear more. At her admission something had gone through him loosening a few of the knots were holding his ire so close.
Despite all the time they had spent together since the Gold Ranger had first shown, neither he nor Kat had ever brought the topic of the new Ranger into the conversation. For him it had been a obviously failed defense mechanism against raising his hopes, and he had always assumed that she had merely picked up on his reticence like she picked up on everything else.
"Everything from Zordon forbidding you to say anything to you would lose the power if your identity was revealed to anyone. I think my favorite was partial amnesia."
"I like that one." He said with a small laugh, "You should have teamed up with Rocky."
"If I did you never would have forgiven me. I saw the way you tensed up when he started theorizing in front of the group."
At her words, he had to fight off the sudden rush of bitterness that came to the back of his throat. "It just felt like some cruel joke. I know that he really thought he was right but---"
Billy broke off before he said something that would make her think less of him, but Kat would have none of it. Coming around, so that he forced to look at her, she pushed, "But why did he have to verbalize your hope?"
"Yes."
"And why did he have to do it in front of the entire team?"
He just nodded.
"And why did we all have to so easily accept that you weren't the Gold Ranger? Like we thought it was just too ---"
"Laughable." He supplied for her. "Like you all thought it was so laughable that I might be someone that powerful, and then of course everyone was proven right. I wonder who was relieved when I couldn't take the powers?"
The words had tumbled out before he even had a chance to process what he was saying. None of that was true. How dare he even think that was true? "Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean . . ."
Kat put a hand to his lips before he could apologize anymore. "It's okay. I was pushing because I wanted you to stop excusing everyone else's actions for just one second. Did I push too hard?"
"After hearing what I just said how could you even ask that?"
"Because I didn't think what you said was as horrible as you obviously do."
He pulled away. "It was horrible. I have no right to feel this way."
"You're not listening to me."
"They're the team, Kat! I shouldn't be resentful of something that makes them stronger."
"But we are." Looking up at her use of the word we, Billy found himself staring into Kat's familiar blue eyes. Yet at this moment they flashed with a strange mixture of compassion, anger, and confidence that he had never seen before. "We are resentful, and we're angry, and I'm trying to tell you that for at least tonight that's okay."
"I guess." Billy muttered still not completely convinced.
Groaning, Kat got up and offered him her hand. "You are way too good at suppressing everything. We need to stir things up. Come on."
Taking her hand, Billy stood and followed her down the ladder without question. It was only once they were exiting the Zord bay, that he thought to ask, "Where are we going?"
"To the training gym. I think you should hit something, and I'd like it to be me rather than Lynn."
Billy stopped. "I don't think this is a good night for us to spar."
"I think it's a great night. Everyone else on the team works out their anger and frustration this way. Why not us?" Kat tugged at his arm, forcing him to move with her.
"I can think of several reasons."
"And I think they all come down to you're just afraid I'll kick your ass for the third time in two weeks."
"You're dreaming if you think you won that last time."
"Prove it."
----
"Proof enough for you?" Billy laughed as he offered Kat a water bottle.
From her position on the mat, the Pink Ranger sat up and swiped the bottle out his hand. "Shut up."
Still grinning, but managing to remain obediently silent, he sat down beside her and took a long drink of his water, enjoying the cool drops of condensation that fell onto his skin. His body was covered with a thin sheen of perspiration. His muscles ached from exertion. He had quite a few bruises he was going to feel tomorrow, and he felt ten times better.
Falling back against the mat, Kat groaned, "Can I just concede now?"
"You could, but you won't." He knew this routine too well. Kat's best round always came directly after she started to talk about conceding. After the incident with Jacob, they had begun to spar together with some regularity. Billy because he found that he had missed being on the mats more than he thought, and Kat because as she put it 'I need to spar with someone who's not afraid to spar with me'.
Apparently most of the guys had been going easy on her, afraid that if they went full out they'd hurt her or at the very least cause her to become frustrated. The first time Billy had made that mistake, she had told him in no uncertain terms that if he did it again he'd have to do every realignment for two weeks. Since he hated all the endless mind-numbing calibrations it was not a threat he was willing to test.
"All right." Kat picked herself up off the mats. "One more round."
Billy took the water bottles over to the side, and then moved opposite to her. Giving her the brief nod that they used to signal their readiness, he began to circle with her, trying to read what kind of mood she was in.
Depending on her mood the Pink Ranger had one of two ways that she liked to handle a round. Either she could be as patient as he was, allowing the match to drag out as each worked for the best possible moment, or she shot out of the gate relying on her speed and agility to control the match and keep him from finding his perfect attack.
Dodging a light test attack, he came to the conclusion that Kat's mood was definitely the former, which was fine with him. The ex-Ranger preferred these rounds because it made for more of a challenge.
They really were very evenly matched, mostly because as in so many other things they were such compliments to each other. Where he had strength, Kat had speed. Where she had learned to focus on her attacks, he had been taught to perfect his defensive moves. And while he had years of experience, she had the edge of freshness.
Tonight of course they also both had anger. It gave the round a whole extra level of intensity, causing them to push harder than they usually would have. Apparently sensing he was eager to take it up a notch, Kat obliged with a spin kick, and Billy just managed to avoid it by jerking back and using his body's momentum to launch him into a back handspring.
Landing on his feet, he met Kat's astonished look and grinned. She quickly set her expression back into one of determination, and said, "You're teaching me that once I've dropped you."
Somewhere along the line they had also become each other's teachers, picking up moves that the other used, requesting assistance when they didn't quite catch the mechanics. It made each match a little more difficult for both of them.
Billy laughed, "Kim taught me. Only right it should be in the Pink Ranger's repertoire. Of course you have to drop me first."
To give emphasis to his challenge, he launched a series of strikes that forced Kat to back up under the barrage. Unfortunately, he miscalculated one allowing his blonde opponent to block his blow and land one of her own. From that point on all talking ceased.
The sparring continued, stretching on long past when it should have because neither was really looking for a win, but rather a way to prolong this moment where all of the pain, disappointment, and anger had faded into the background. And then it happened.
Billy blocked one of Kat's punches and went to repay her for the earlier hit; only he suddenly no longer had control of his body.
As though someone had flipped a switch, he was abruptly ravaged by harsh pain that tore through his muscles and threatened to split his skull. Letting out a scream of anguish, he collapsed into a shuddering heap.
"Billy!"
He wanted to answer her, but he was sinking fast into darkness. His mind shutting down in hopes of escaping the pain, and no words would come.
"Oh God, Billy hold on."
Black.
- + - + - + - + - + -
Thanks for reading.
I'm sorry for the cliff-hanger, but it needed to happen with this section. I promise not to make you wait too long for the next part.
As always comments and criticism are appreciated.
Author's Note: We are continuing our move forward through the Zeo Universe (with minor alterations). Because of this part's sheer size and differences I'm dividing it into two parts with the next one to be posted sometime within the next week. This section falls possibly the same day to a day after Jason takes the Gold Ranger powers.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lilac Moon for her company and encouragement.
**Denotes Thoughts**
- + - + - + - + - + -
"You have got to find a better hiding place."
Looking up at Kat's gentle chiding, Billy gave her a wane smile and set down his pliers. "I wasn't hiding."
The Pink Ranger crossed her arms and responded with a look that plainly said 'that's a load of bullshit and you know it'. He fought the urge to wince. Though he rarely heard Kat utter even the mildest of curses, she had the ability to issue a silent string of profanity with a look. He hated being on the receiving end.
Backing down, he ran a hand across his face and murmured, "I just needed to get away."
Her expression softening at his admission, Kat crouched beside him and looked over his shoulder at the patch job he was in the middle of. "You should have left this for me."
"I needed something mindless."
"Can't get much more mindless than a patch. You could probably do this in your sleep."
"I think I actually did that once."
Smiling a little, Kat touched his shoulder, "Everyone started asking where you went."
The young engineer sighed and turned back to his work. "I'm not going back to the party."
"And I wasn't going to ask you to." As though to prove herself, she handed him the next tool he would need without being asked. "I'm actually surprised you stayed as long as you did."
"So am I."
For a long moment, she looked at him as though willing him to say something else, but when he remained stubbornly silent she moved to sit down.
"You'll ruin your dress."
"Good."
"Kat . . ."
The look was back. Meeting his eyes with a gaze of defiance, she picked out the dirtiest possible spot and sat. "Like I'm any more likely to wear this dress again than you are to wear that sweater."
Glancing down at his grease stained cream sweater, he had to acknowledge she was right. Up until tonight this had been one of his few pieces of nice clothing, and he had actually gone through a lot of trouble to keep it that way because he liked it. Now though . . . well it didn't matter how many grease stains it had because as soon as he got home he was throwing it away . . . unpleasant associations.
"I wish you had told me you were leaving. I would have come with you."
He shook his head. "You were with Tommy, and he would have asked why I was leaving."
"Right, of course, because God forbid you spoil *their* moment with *your* feelings."
Billy flinched at the acid sarcasm that laced Kat's voice. He had never heard her speak with such bitterness about anything or anyone, much less her teammates who usually received only kind thoughts and sweet smiles. The stark contrast made her outburst of feeling seem all the more brutal.
He just didn't have the resources to deal with this right now. "Please Captain, if you're going to be angry with me, can we put it off until tomorrow?"
Running a hand over her face, she sighed --- a deep bone-tired sigh that reflected everything he should be feeling at that moment, as though she was somehow reaching inside him and externalizing all the emotions he was still too numb to feel. "I'm not angry with you. I'm just . . . frustrated with the whole situation. How could you let them celebrate like that?"
"The addition of a new Ranger is cause for celebration."
"Dammit Billy, that new Ranger should have been you!"
And there it was, hanging in the silence --- the basis for her frustration and the source of the ice flow that had replaced his blood leaving him too cold to feel --- one dashed hope. A hope that they hadn't even had a right to.
Fighting to maintain control because it was all he had right now, Billy murmured, "Obviously it just wasn't meant to be."
Kat stared at him, dumbfounded, and grumbled, "I wish you wouldn't pretend to be so calm about this."
"At the moment I think you're angry enough for both of us."
"Well someone should be. I still can't believe you gave Tommy your permission to throw the party."
"He wasn't really asking for my permission."
"He asked you whether you were okay with the party. If you had said anything he wouldn't have had it."
Dropping his pliers, he glared over at her, and snapped, "What was I supposed to say, Kat? What could I possibly have said that wouldn't have resulted in the team thinking I resent Jason?"
Apparently finding whatever was in his eyes too disconcerting, she dropped her head down to stare at the floor. Just as he thought that she would remain silent, she whispered, "Do you?"
The question brought him up short. His first instinct was to say no, of course he didn't resent the guy, who had been his first leader and like a brother to him, stepping up when he was needed. Yet at the memory of seeing Jason able to help when once again he couldn't, there was this sick feeling that wouldn't go away. Every thought and emotion seemed to be twisted up in other contradictory ones, and he didn't want to try to sort it out yet.
"I don't know." He finally responded, deliberately catching her gaze, hoping she would understand that at the moment it was the only answer he had.
Kat slumped against the wall, a little of the fight gone out of her. "I'm sorry. You're right, it was completely out of line for Tommy to put you in that position."
Falling back on his habitual unquestioning support of their leader, Billy shook his head. "He tried to do the right thing in a difficult situation. It was important to make Jason feel like a part of the team as quickly as possible, and the party was a good way."
"I just hated that everyone seemed so obliviously happy."
"We're good at accentuating the positive. It's how we cope." He turned back to his work, uncertain whether he was explaining their actions to himself or to her. "I've actually always liked that about our friends. With everything we've been through, it would be nearly unbearable if we couldn't find a silver lining."
"Are you finished trying to convince yourself that you're okay with that?"
Taking a moment to put the cover back over the panel he had been working on, Billy nodded, "Yeah, I think I'm done."
"Good."
"I'm not ready to actually talk about this, Captain."
"Then we'll dwell, Doctor. Let everyone else have their silver-lining. We can take the storm clouds."
Managing a half-hearted smile at Kat's willingness to just be there for him in whatever way he needed, Billy came and sat down beside her.
"You'll ruin your pants."
"Good."
Snorting softly at having her words turned on her, Kat leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "Welcome to the storm."
Normally Billy would have said that the bitterness in her voice and anger written across his Captain's face marred her warm, inviting beauty, but not tonight. The knowledge that she was angry on his behalf, for his disappointments, transformed her into perfection --- his avenging angel.
**I don't deserve her indignation** Of course, given the way he had acted at the party he didn't even deserve her presence here. God, he had been such an asshole. Kat had spent most of the party trying to talk to him, and he had spent most of the party avoiding her. Every time she caught his eye, he had looked away. Every time she walked up to him, he had suddenly found a conversation across the room interesting.
Billy had berated himself the entire night, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that the perfectly dressed, beautiful blonde on Tommy Oliver's arm wasn't the same girl who knew him. The girl standing across the room didn't know how he took his coffee or how he had cried. She couldn't do a patch job or look pretty in grease stains and torn jeans. She wouldn't have called him Doctor because she wasn't his Captain.
More than anything that was why he had left the party. Because standing there watching her with Tommy had made him feel more alone than anything else. So he had come here hoping his Captain would show, and sure enough she had. Only much to his surprise she was the same girl he'd been avoiding all night.
That realization brought forth a whole new set of feelings inside him --- joy that Kat had not decided he wasn't worth the effort, disgust with himself for being such a jerk, and something . . . ugly directed very forcefully towards Tommy.
Clenching his jaw tight Billy rested his arms across his knees, pressed his head against them, and tried very hard to push that final emotion away. The absolute last thing he needed was to add whatever that was to the mixture of resentful, ugly emotions simmering inside him. The addition of that might just cause the whole thing to boil over.
He didn't know how long they stayed that way, sitting together nursing their disappointment. In someway being in Kat's presence acted a balm for his soul. As though the sheer fact that someone chose to acknowledge that this day had not been a joyful one siphoned off some of the bitterness. Still the anger remained, providing a fierce undercurrent to the silence.
Kat was the first to allow herself to be swept back into it. Slamming her fist against the metal wall, she pronounced, "Dammit, you don't deserve this."
His head still resting against his arms, Billy muttered, "I'm not inclined to disagree with you on that point."
"How's your storm cloud?"
"Dark and cold, I think this would just be so much easier if I could be mad at someone other than myself."
"How can you possibly be mad at yourself?"
Sighing, Billy lifted his head and leaned back against the wall. "Because I'm so angry at everyone, and none of them deserve it, not really. I have all these feelings of rancour and resentment, but who do I direct them at? Jason because he helped the team? Tommy because he was a good leader? Tanya because I gave her a crystal she's earned five times over? Rocky and Adam simply because they were happy to have a new Ranger to help in the battle?"
"Yes!" Kat practically shouted the word, and he looked at her in surprise. That was not the answer he'd been expecting.
Calming down a little she continued. "Be mad at one of them or all of them. Heck be angry with me. Just don't focus everything you've got in your direction. Who cares how noble everyone else's reasons for their actions are? The point is you got the short end of the stick, and for at least a few days you have license to be angry with the entire world."
The young engineer just stared at her. "I could never be angry with you, Captain."
Covering her face with her hands, Kat shook her head. "Is that all you heard me say?"
"No, I heard the rest, but I don't have any right."
"You've got more right than me, and I'm mad at everyone. I'm mad at Tommy because he's so good at being a leader that sometimes he forgets to be a friend. I'm mad at Tanya and Adam because they're so caught up in their new relationship that they can't see anything besides each other."
"They're dating?"
"Hey, I'm tirading here, but yes they're dating."
Her mock indignation at being interrupted caused Billy to smile just a little. He motioned for her to continue.
"I'm irrationally angry at the rest of the team too. I'm mad at Rocky for wearing blue. I'm mad at Jason just because. I'm even mad at Trey!"
"Why?"
Suddenly finding the floor extremely fascinating, Kat whispered, "Because it was him under that helmet instead of you."
Billy felt as though he had just slammed against a wall. "Kat . . . you didn't think I would have kept something like that from the team . . . from you. All you ever had to do was ask . . ."
She gave him a weak smile, "Why do you think I didn't? I just wanted that for you so badly because I knew how much it would mean to you. So I managed to convince this small portion of myself that he really was you. Even came up with all these stupid reasons why you couldn't tell me."
"Like what?" Billy prompted gently, wanting to hear more. At her admission something had gone through him loosening a few of the knots were holding his ire so close.
Despite all the time they had spent together since the Gold Ranger had first shown, neither he nor Kat had ever brought the topic of the new Ranger into the conversation. For him it had been a obviously failed defense mechanism against raising his hopes, and he had always assumed that she had merely picked up on his reticence like she picked up on everything else.
"Everything from Zordon forbidding you to say anything to you would lose the power if your identity was revealed to anyone. I think my favorite was partial amnesia."
"I like that one." He said with a small laugh, "You should have teamed up with Rocky."
"If I did you never would have forgiven me. I saw the way you tensed up when he started theorizing in front of the group."
At her words, he had to fight off the sudden rush of bitterness that came to the back of his throat. "It just felt like some cruel joke. I know that he really thought he was right but---"
Billy broke off before he said something that would make her think less of him, but Kat would have none of it. Coming around, so that he forced to look at her, she pushed, "But why did he have to verbalize your hope?"
"Yes."
"And why did he have to do it in front of the entire team?"
He just nodded.
"And why did we all have to so easily accept that you weren't the Gold Ranger? Like we thought it was just too ---"
"Laughable." He supplied for her. "Like you all thought it was so laughable that I might be someone that powerful, and then of course everyone was proven right. I wonder who was relieved when I couldn't take the powers?"
The words had tumbled out before he even had a chance to process what he was saying. None of that was true. How dare he even think that was true? "Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean . . ."
Kat put a hand to his lips before he could apologize anymore. "It's okay. I was pushing because I wanted you to stop excusing everyone else's actions for just one second. Did I push too hard?"
"After hearing what I just said how could you even ask that?"
"Because I didn't think what you said was as horrible as you obviously do."
He pulled away. "It was horrible. I have no right to feel this way."
"You're not listening to me."
"They're the team, Kat! I shouldn't be resentful of something that makes them stronger."
"But we are." Looking up at her use of the word we, Billy found himself staring into Kat's familiar blue eyes. Yet at this moment they flashed with a strange mixture of compassion, anger, and confidence that he had never seen before. "We are resentful, and we're angry, and I'm trying to tell you that for at least tonight that's okay."
"I guess." Billy muttered still not completely convinced.
Groaning, Kat got up and offered him her hand. "You are way too good at suppressing everything. We need to stir things up. Come on."
Taking her hand, Billy stood and followed her down the ladder without question. It was only once they were exiting the Zord bay, that he thought to ask, "Where are we going?"
"To the training gym. I think you should hit something, and I'd like it to be me rather than Lynn."
Billy stopped. "I don't think this is a good night for us to spar."
"I think it's a great night. Everyone else on the team works out their anger and frustration this way. Why not us?" Kat tugged at his arm, forcing him to move with her.
"I can think of several reasons."
"And I think they all come down to you're just afraid I'll kick your ass for the third time in two weeks."
"You're dreaming if you think you won that last time."
"Prove it."
----
"Proof enough for you?" Billy laughed as he offered Kat a water bottle.
From her position on the mat, the Pink Ranger sat up and swiped the bottle out his hand. "Shut up."
Still grinning, but managing to remain obediently silent, he sat down beside her and took a long drink of his water, enjoying the cool drops of condensation that fell onto his skin. His body was covered with a thin sheen of perspiration. His muscles ached from exertion. He had quite a few bruises he was going to feel tomorrow, and he felt ten times better.
Falling back against the mat, Kat groaned, "Can I just concede now?"
"You could, but you won't." He knew this routine too well. Kat's best round always came directly after she started to talk about conceding. After the incident with Jacob, they had begun to spar together with some regularity. Billy because he found that he had missed being on the mats more than he thought, and Kat because as she put it 'I need to spar with someone who's not afraid to spar with me'.
Apparently most of the guys had been going easy on her, afraid that if they went full out they'd hurt her or at the very least cause her to become frustrated. The first time Billy had made that mistake, she had told him in no uncertain terms that if he did it again he'd have to do every realignment for two weeks. Since he hated all the endless mind-numbing calibrations it was not a threat he was willing to test.
"All right." Kat picked herself up off the mats. "One more round."
Billy took the water bottles over to the side, and then moved opposite to her. Giving her the brief nod that they used to signal their readiness, he began to circle with her, trying to read what kind of mood she was in.
Depending on her mood the Pink Ranger had one of two ways that she liked to handle a round. Either she could be as patient as he was, allowing the match to drag out as each worked for the best possible moment, or she shot out of the gate relying on her speed and agility to control the match and keep him from finding his perfect attack.
Dodging a light test attack, he came to the conclusion that Kat's mood was definitely the former, which was fine with him. The ex-Ranger preferred these rounds because it made for more of a challenge.
They really were very evenly matched, mostly because as in so many other things they were such compliments to each other. Where he had strength, Kat had speed. Where she had learned to focus on her attacks, he had been taught to perfect his defensive moves. And while he had years of experience, she had the edge of freshness.
Tonight of course they also both had anger. It gave the round a whole extra level of intensity, causing them to push harder than they usually would have. Apparently sensing he was eager to take it up a notch, Kat obliged with a spin kick, and Billy just managed to avoid it by jerking back and using his body's momentum to launch him into a back handspring.
Landing on his feet, he met Kat's astonished look and grinned. She quickly set her expression back into one of determination, and said, "You're teaching me that once I've dropped you."
Somewhere along the line they had also become each other's teachers, picking up moves that the other used, requesting assistance when they didn't quite catch the mechanics. It made each match a little more difficult for both of them.
Billy laughed, "Kim taught me. Only right it should be in the Pink Ranger's repertoire. Of course you have to drop me first."
To give emphasis to his challenge, he launched a series of strikes that forced Kat to back up under the barrage. Unfortunately, he miscalculated one allowing his blonde opponent to block his blow and land one of her own. From that point on all talking ceased.
The sparring continued, stretching on long past when it should have because neither was really looking for a win, but rather a way to prolong this moment where all of the pain, disappointment, and anger had faded into the background. And then it happened.
Billy blocked one of Kat's punches and went to repay her for the earlier hit; only he suddenly no longer had control of his body.
As though someone had flipped a switch, he was abruptly ravaged by harsh pain that tore through his muscles and threatened to split his skull. Letting out a scream of anguish, he collapsed into a shuddering heap.
"Billy!"
He wanted to answer her, but he was sinking fast into darkness. His mind shutting down in hopes of escaping the pain, and no words would come.
"Oh God, Billy hold on."
Black.
- + - + - + - + - + -
Thanks for reading.
I'm sorry for the cliff-hanger, but it needed to happen with this section. I promise not to make you wait too long for the next part.
As always comments and criticism are appreciated.