Where the Quest Takes Us 2!
Chapter 2: Another Agent
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It was a sunny and warm day in the Apojii Islands that day. That fateful day. The same day during which Isaac met Dr. Pepper, another Adept, halfway across the world, was being summoned to the secret headquarters of WUSSCASE.
Ivan sat down on his favorite chair at the local cabana, which served his favorite drink: "That one pink thing that tastes kinda like bananas, but also like coffee." as Ivan called it.
"What can I get you today, Ivan?" asked the hostess kindly. "The usual?"
"What in the hell are you talking about? I've never been here before!" Ivan said in a loud and uneven voice. His eyes were red, and he seemed to be having trouble keeping his balance.
"Have you been eating Piers' mushrooms?" asked the hostess.
"Mushrooms? You mean the fungus-like muffins of infinite happiness?" Ivan wondered, nearly falling out of his chair.
"You have." stated the hostess. "You should leave. I don't take kindly to people walking into my cabana while they're HIGH AS A KITE!"
"You know, I once knew a man who made kites out of string he made from the hair on his ass." Ivan recited.
"Ugh. I hate stories told by mushroom eating lay abouts such as your self. Now please, just go." the hostess demanded.
"But you didn't give me anything yet!" Ivan protested. "Not even a hug..." he added, leaning over the counter to hug the hostess, who happened to be an attractive blonde girl.
"EWWW!" she screamed, kicking Ivan to the floor, where he remained. "Oh dear... I hope he's okay..."
"Eh. He's taken worse beatings and lived to tell the tale." remarked another attendee of the cabana. The person who made the remark was hiding their face in their pink-hemmed, baggy white robes. The person was not more than two feet tall, and laying against the table next to whoever-it-was, was a staff, which looked to be over twice as tall as the person.
"Who are you?" asked the hostess, raising an eyebrow. She had never seen such an odd-looking person before.
"Uh, my name's Quianodonnaryeevansyoduptorbespanol, but that's kinda hard to remember, so just call me Qui!" said the little person.
"Did I just hear someone say Quiano-something-dubya-something!" Ivan yelled, jerking up off the ground so he was sitting bolt upright.
"No you heard me say my NAME, you dolt." Qui corrected him, smacking him on the back of his head with her staff.
"Um, he's been around some hallucinogenic mushrooms today, so he'll be kind of ...out of it... for a couple of hours..." the hostess explained to Qui.
"What? Don't tell me one of my agents has a DRUG PROBLEM!" Qui said, her face turning red with anger. "You! Blondie! How long have you been using these hallucinogenic mushrooms!"
"Mushrooms? Huh?" Ivan muttered, with a bewildered look on his face, which was somewhat pale. "Oh yeah... Piers picks mushrooms and sells them. He gives me the ones that he can't sell. There musta been a hallucinogenic one in this morning's batch... Damn!"
"You mean you're not a drug addict?" Qui asked, her anger leaving, she breathed a sigh of relief.
"No! And now that my consciousness has returned, I am free to ask... Why the hell are YOU here?" Ivan said rudely, pointing his finger at Qui.
"I'm here because you're needed for another WUSSCASE mission." Qui explained. "You didn't think you could become an agent and just do ONE mission, did you?"
"What? You think I'm gonna work for you? After what you did to me last time?" argued Ivan.
"What, you mean finish your mission and take all of your pay because you're a weakling?" Qui asked innocently. "And look what I've reduced you to. You live in a tropical paradise, you earn your living by telling stories of your own bravery, and you sit at a seaside cabana and drink freshly prepared drinks all afternoon. Yeah, sucks to be you."
"Finally, someone who understands me!" Ivan proclaimed. "Wait a second... The way you said it, it don't sound so bad..." he added, evidently losing himself in thought.
"Yeah, well. Don't worry too much about not getting your pay. Our former director was sacked, and the new guy's a lot more... organized." Qui explained.
"Really?" Ivan asked, with a disbelieving look on his face. "'Cause I'll only do this if there's some guaranteed gold in it for me."
"No worries. The Director says he'll give us all 10, 000 gold, and pay for anything we need to complete the mission. If I were you, I'd accept. It's not every day an offer like this comes along."
Ivan looked at the ground and wrinkled his forehead in thought. After a minute of silence, he spoke up. "I'll do it, on one condition." he said.
"And what might that condition be?" asked Qui.
"I want to work with Isaac."
---
Meanwhile, halfway across the world, a very tired Issac was begging a very irked Pepper to "take a goddamn break." Pepper, however, maintained that they needed to be back at WUSSCASE's secret headquarters by noon the next day, and they wouldn't make it if they took too many breaks.
"C'mon! Just a half an hour!" Isaac begged, as sweat poured down his face.
"You're at least twenty years younger than I am, and you're whining about needing a break. I thought you saved the world. You should be in shape." lectured Dr. Pepper, not even turning around as he walked.
"Yeah, well... I've been having a VERY cozy existence for the last while, okay?" Isaac defended himself.
"I also heard from somewhere that you used to be very quiet. How about you revert to that?" Pepper suggested.
"How about I revert my boot up your ass?" Isaac said, lifting his right foot into the air.
"That doesn't make any sense at all. Now come on, we're nearly halfway to the hideout."
"HALFWAY! WE'VE BEEN WALKING FOR 18 FRICKIN' HOURS, AND WE'RE ONLY HALF-FRICKIN'-WAY? YOU'VE GOTTA BE FRICKIN' KIDDING ME!" Isaac bellowed, summoning a few earthen spires on a nearby bunny.
"I thought you solved your severe anger issues?" asked Pepper. "It would seem that was false intel."
"I'll false your intel!" threatened Isaac, shaking his fist menacingly at Dr. Pepper.
"You aren't making any sense, boy. Now, we must keep moving."
"Screw you! Screw WUSSCASE! Screw this FUGGIN' TRAIL! Would it've KILLED the guys who built it to include the occasional INN? I think not! So where's the inns? THERE ARE NONE!"
As Isaac ranted, Dr. Pepper continued to walk forward. When he was a good fifty yards ahead of Isaac, a fierce growl was heard. Pepper was startled, and didn't manage to move out of the way as a large black wolf leaped from atop a nearby cliff, right onto Pepper. "Isaac! Help me!" Pepper screamed.
"Oh, geez, that's one hell of a wolf. I bet it could swallow a man's head in one go." Isaac noted.
"YEAH, AND IT'S GOT ME PINNED TO THE GROUND! FIGHT IT, YOU FOOL!" Pepper yelled, as the wolf slowly clawed at his flailing arms.
"Oh fine. But just know, I haven't had much practice with weapons and such recently, so there's like, a 50 percent chance I'll kill you during this rescue procedure." warned Isaac, as he drew his sword from it's sheath.
"Oh brother." moaned pepper. "How is this guy WUSSCASE material...?"
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