A/N: "Paul – gay!" you ask? Well, how do you know this all isn't a devious plan by Paul to make Jesse look bad? Hum?
taps fingers evily like Mr. Burns

VMR: Hello, and we are back to the Very Moody Ryter Talk Show. Today we are talking about the Mediator and the "complex" relationships between characters. We are about to bring in our next guest, Ms. Suze Simon. Now, Ms. Simon is a junior at a local Carmel high school, and she has been in love with Jesse all this time. Let's bring her out and see what she thinks of all of this, and Jesse's relationship with Paul.

Crowd: claps

Jesse (outraged): I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH PAUL!

VMR: Hello, Suze, welcome to our show.

Suze (with a flip of her hair): It's nice to be here, Ryter. (to Jesse) Hey, baby.

Paul (still with tears in his eyes): You see! You see what I mean!

VMR: Hold on for just one second Paul. Now, Suze, how does it feel like to be a teen and in love with a ghost?

Suze: Well, I think it feels pretty good. I mean, sure he'll never let me get past first base, but whatever.

Crowd: Oooooohh.

VMR: Ooh, I see. But aren't you a little… young to be worrying about that kind of thing? I mean, you're only 16.

Paul (raises his hand): I'll do it with her!

Crowd (even more): "Oooooh!"

Jesse: I TOLD YOU HE WAS LYING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!

VMR: Well, now Paul. What's all this change of heart?

Paul (glares): Can't you see I hate his guts?

VMR: Uh… actually, you were busy making it abundantly clear you were in some sort of relationship with Jesse.

Paul: You mean you actually fell for it? You're the HOST! It was supposed to be for all the fans out there (gestures with his arms). They actually WANT him to hook up with Suze (disgusted).

Kelly from the crowd: I'll have you, Paul!

Paul: Get away from me, you stalker!

Suze (whirls at Paul): You're the stalker, you sicko!

Kelly (furious): Don't you dare insult my Paulie! (runs at Suze, and they start tearing out each other's hair. The big, buff bodyguards come and separate them).

VMR: Whoa, clam down. Alright, so I see that Paul has been lying to you in your relationship, Jesse.

Jesse: I TOLD you, I am not in a RELATIONSHIP with Paul!

Suze: What? You were in a relationship with Paul? (stands up, angrily) Since when? How DARE you!

Jesse: Augh! I said I wasn't!

Suze: This is UNBELIEVEABLE!

Paul: See, baby. He doesn't love you. I'll take you. After all, who can compete with abs like these? (starts taking of his shirt).

Audience woops; some fat lady in the front faints, and has to be taken away.

Kelly (starts running at Paul like a groupie, and hugging him from the waist): I love you so much! Take me now, Paul! Take me now! (a bodyguard has to pry Kelly's fingers from Paul).

VMR: I think it's time for a commercial break, and we'll show our final segment of "Mediator". Hey! (takes microphone back from an out of control groupie) I still need that! (smiles to the TV) We'll be right back.