Chapter 7 Remorse & Regret

A/N I know many of you have second thoughts about whether you should continue reading this fanfic, but by all means if you're think I'm being evil or anything, do tell me. Majority of you are probably cursing at me because of the last chapter; and some have already decided to stop reading. But I suppose it would be a little more relieving for me to tell you that even if the most drastic things happen, everything is going to turn out OK. Anyway, enjoy!

"Cagalli, your mother told me to bring you this from the hospital kitchen." Said Miriallia, placing the tray supporting a large bowling containing some green, spongy textured food on her bedside table.

The moment the blonde girl's honey-brown eyes fell upon the substance, which was supposed to be her food, her face contorted into a perfectly disgusted expression, which could've frightened off even the most hideous of things.

"Uh er, she said it's good for you." Gulped Miriallia, feeling her stomach give a lurch, when she looked down at the substance in the bowl.

"THAT is supposed to be GOOD for me?" questioned Cagalli, eyebrows raised, and looking disapprovingly up at her friend. "That stuff looks like it'll make me barf, more like it!"

"I don't know Cagalli, your mother just told me to send it over." Remarked Mika, sighing and settling herself in a nearby plastic chair.

"She's right, honey bunny, don't blame her. The words came from my mouth. I did tell her to send it over." Alleged Ochika, placing a hand on her hip and looking at her daughter.

"Eew! It looks foul! What is it? It looks awfully like moss with shitake mushrooms!" squealed Cagalli, writhing about on her bed.

Ochika sighed before smiling gently, "Yes, it's got shitake mushrooms in it, but it definitely does not contain moss."

Cagalli shuddered, and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand out. "Do I HAVE to eat it?" The blonde girl questioned timidly, looking reluctantly up at her mother.

Ochika grinned cruelly in the most sadistic way, before bursting into a fit of raucous laughter.

"Yes, you have to! No excuses, whines, complaints or screeches. Eat up, now. It's got ginseng and some other herbs that will help you regain your strength!" commanded Ochika sternly, digging the spoon into the icky looking green substance and thrusting it into Cagalli's hands.

The nurse walked briskly out of the ward to resume her daily nursing duties, leaving her adoptive daughter and friend in the ward.

Miriallia giggled slightly, but stopped abruptly when the blonde girl shot her a penetrating stare.

Miriallia cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, before watching the blonde girl shiver and shake as she swallowed down her food.

Miriallia couldn't help but think if Cagalli had really decided to move on, and forget Athrun, or if she was faking it all. The temptation and the urge to ask her, was getting stronger with each second that passed.

And suddenly, out of the blue, Miriallia blurted it all out to her friend. "Haveyoureallyforgottenaboutathrun?"

Cagalli stared stunned and puzzled up at the auburn-haired girl, who just sighed and was left with no choice but to repeat her question.

"Have you really forgotten about Athrun?" asked Miriallia, this time slower and clearer than the last.

Cagalli stopped her eating, and looked down at the virgin white bed sheets of the hospital bed, as though in deep thought.

"It's not surprising you asked, I know one of you was bound to pop that question sooner or later. Well, I haven't forgotten him, of course, but at the same time, I think it's time I carry on with my life. I can't spend the rest of my days worrying and fretting over someone I can't or will never have." Explained Cagalli, hugging her legs up on the bed.

Miriallia seemed eager to listen to her blonde friend speak, and was staring curiously, and wide-eyed at the blonde girl.

"No doubt, I will love him forever, and always till the end of time. But like I have said before, fate brought us together, but destiny tore us apart. I still regard him as a close friend, but I still wish we had a second chance." Continued Cagalli, sighing once more before wiping away the tears that were blurring her vision.

Kira had been watching from outside the ward, and walked in after Cagalli had finished her little summary of what she felt and thought.

The brunette doctor gave his fiancée a stern look, as though searching her entire mind and heart, for an answer to why she had questioned Cagalli, on a matter he had told her not to bring up in the blonde girl's presence.

"Cagalli, it's not that we have no trust in you, it's just that the past time you behaved absolutely differently to what you're behaving now. At first, it gave me a hunch that you had come down with Amnesia." Retorted Kira, interrupting the conversation the duo of young women had been having.

"I know, I can't seem to explain why I suddenly felt different about everything that has happened. It's like I've been given a new life or something," said Cagalli, shaking her head and shrugging.

"Well, we're just glad that you've come to your senses. Every time you went into such a fit of suffering, we all were thrown into suffering as well. A suffering that made us suffers; to see you in such a sorry state." Explained Miriallia, placing a warm hand on Cagalli's hand.

"Rest assured, I will not put you in such a spot again." Said Cagalli, saluting her doctor and auburn-haired friend.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Throughout the whole morning, Athrun had been sitting on the couch, staring dazedly out of the living room window. He was feeling so guilty, that he couldn't even look at the clouds floating innocently across their blue background, with a clear conscience.

He was scarred, and he meant scarred for life. He had betrayed the one and only love of his life, and consummated his marriage with someone he didn't even love.

Mia Campbell had just taken off somewhere, and said she would be back in a jiffy, which was to Athrun's disgust. It wasn't like he wanted to consummate his marriage, he wad forced to, and for some dumb reason he had felt so high that night, that he had lost total control over himself.

Athrun hit himself hard on the head and leaned back onto the couch, hand on his temples, and his eyes closed.

How was he going to face Cagalli now? What, go up to her, tell her he was married to Mia and say that he had consummated his marriage? Oh for goodness sake, if he were to do that she'd probably faint on the spot.

But then again, he couldn't deny it either. It had all happened, they were all facts. Time was moving so fast, it had all happened in the blink of an eye.

Sure enough, the sound of Mia's screechy voice could be heard when the front door of the house swung open and closed shut with a soft click.

She pranced up to him, and kissed him gently on the nose. "I'm back," she said.

Athrun sat bolt upright, before stretching a little and getting up. "I'm going somewhere, and you're NOT to follow me." Instructed Athrun firmly.

"You're going to see that girl aren't you? By all means, go ahead, its part of the agreement anyway." Said Mia grinning widely.

Athrun found that Mia seemed extremely happy that he was leaving the house to see CAGALLI. He had expected her whine and squeal about and cling onto him like a bloodsucking leech.

But without wasting anymore of the precious time, he had to conserve, he rushed off out into the late-morning sun.

The sun's rays prickled on his skin, as he squinted, looking into the distance. The hospital wasn't say far from where he was, and it wasn't say near either.

Nevertheless, he was going to walk there. It would waste an extra 10 minutes to go to the car park collect his car and drive there.

When he stepped into the hospital, he checked with the counter lady for Cagalli's ward before rushing off once more, his heart thumping in his chest.

Reaching the entrance to the ward, Athrun took a deep breath before entering.

Almost immediately he was greeted by the harsh stares of Kira and Miriallia, before his eyes became level with the one he had came all the way to see, Cagalli.

She didn't look one bit weak or hurt, but instead, her eyes were blazing with fury and anger.

The blonde girl hopped off the hospital bed before walking up to him. Staring furiously up at the blue-haired co-ordinator, she suddenly extended and arm and delivered a stinging slap across his face.

Athrun had to take a step back from the impact, as his hand flew to his left cheek. His skin was burning and stinging painfully, but worst of all his heart had just broken into a zillion pieces, even the best man at jigsaw puzzles would never be able to mend it.

"You stinking jerk! You can save your breath because that freakin' wife of yours has said everything for you!" bellowed Cagalli, her eyebrows furrowed in anger, her fists clenched tight.

Athrun's jaw dropped in shock. She knew, she already knew. The former Justice pilot finally came to realization that the place Mia had been earlier, was the very place he was at that very moment!

"Seriously, I thought you would at least have had been faithful enough to me by refusing to marry her. But I compromised a little, thinking that ok, you were FORCED to marry her! But then that bimbo told me you had consummated your marriage! It explains everything, asshole! Your feelings for me have been nothing more than peanuts!" hollered Cagalli, giving Athrun another slap across the face.

There were stares coming at Athrun from every direction, left, right, in front and behind.

The former Justice pilot, stumbled a little before turning on heel and speeding off out of the ward and towards the men's bathroom.

The moment Athrun had locked himself inside a cubicle, he burst into a fit of noisy tears. He sank down to the floor, feeling weak and defeated.

His hopes and dreams had been hopelessly shattered! He wanted to escape from Mia and his father, but now, even if he did, it wouldn't be of any use.

Athrun wouldn't have Cagalli to turn to if he did manage to escape now. He had no one now. He was left alone, in a bug and dark world, with no one to take him by the hand and guide him.

Sure, he sounded like a real jerk and a weakling. But truth is, he was a jerk and a weakling. He had been a weakling all along, depending on Cagalli all the time. He had been so weak, he couldn't even help himself make decisions.

But no matter how much he tortured himself, nothing would ever take the pain he felt, away……………………………………………………………………………….