Note: Oh, I´m very glad I got response. I wasn´t quite sure about this idea. Thanks, people! I was all teary-eyed when you considered it to be a good idea. I thought it was rather crazy, actually. ;)

Now, about the comments of a reviewer about spelling, the English I´ve been taught is English from Britain, considered the standard to be taught in the great majority of countries where English isn´t the mother tongue. So you won´t find "color", but "colour", and not "apologize", but "apologise".

Nothing else. Thank you, everyone!

Doll House

Chapter II

Takani Megumi

The woman walked the streets at a quick, brisk pace. The sun had already set, and in the increasingly empty streets she felt less sure than ever. Maybe it was only her imagination, but she was almost certain that someone was spying on her… a presence that desired to remain unknown.

Again…

She couldn't put the other two women in danger for any longer. More than danger, in fact: what she had done to Kaoru was terrible, though back then she hadn't had the slightest idea that the girl's bad luck could be even remotely connected with her. Now, she wasn't quite sure either, but the suspicions were growing and meanwhile had adopted an enormous weight in her mind.

How could he… have…? No, she corrected herself, how could she have held hopes of living among the rest of the people, in peace and free of fear! She had thought that for doing so she only had to get rid of her inner demons, and she knew that she had the strength to do so, but by thinking this she had disregarded the external forces that could join to make her fall into the trap again. When she had read that message and thought she recognised…

Gather yourself, Megumi, she breathed. This was not sure at all. It could be nothing more than her twisted imagination, since the evidence was by no means conclusive. Now that she didn't have that piece of paper in front of her eyes anymore, she had space to hope that it had been an error. And, if it was so…

If it was so, what?, she answered herself bitterly almost at the same time. Could she risk the lives of innocents like this, even if it could be an error? She had stayed alive to atone and help people, not to put them in danger or bring ruin to their lives. And, if her suppositions were correct, it was her that they wanted, no one else.

The woman slid her right hand inside her obi for an imperceptible moment, and felt the familiar touch of her dagger. The cold sensation of the steel on her skin reassured her and gave her strength, and she curved her lips in a fierce smile. They wouldn't have her. Oh, no, not in this life or the next. She wasn't the owner of her own destiny anymore; it was in the hands of all the people she had to help. They could force her to live alone, hiding and continuously hunting for any signal of noises and glimpses of her stalkers, but they wouldn't have her.

Minutes later, Megumi stepped inside the shadows of the dojo yard, shivering a bit at the cold air of the night. There was a lamp already lighting the porch with a weak glow, which cast reflections of the silhouette of a woman who sat there quietly, feeding a herd of cats. As always, she thought with an inner chuckle, Tomoe-san was surrounding herself with her friends.

"Good evening," she greeted her in a low voice, as she neared her with care not to step over any of the fierce little animals. Tomoe had been smiling, but as soon as she heard her come she immediately sobered up and nodded. A cat had crept on her lap, and she caressed its back with an inquiring expression.

Well, well…She can live in her own world and be incisively observant at the same time.

"What's the matter with me?" Megumi asked. Oh, she felt so tired… "I've had a lot of work, that's all. This and…" She interrupted the sentence for a long while, wondering whether she should say it or not. Tomoe-san already knew some things about her that nobody else knew, as it was in her nature to be a dark and unfathomable pool of secrets. Her sad brown eyes swallowed all sorrows and complaints, and never offered anything in return.

That thought was suddenly too dangerously comforting for Megumi.

"Meeeow!" A cat's yell was followed by a hiss and a sharp intake of breath. The doctor turned her head at once, and arrived just in time to wriggle a mischievous kitten out of Tomoe's thick black tresses.

"Bad, bad cat. Get out! Out, now!" she cried, pulling it away. Unfortunately, the little fiend had grabbed the mass of hair as if it was a board of salvation, and it did not allow itself to be torn away without getting some of it with him and biting the doctor in the hand.

"Cats are like that. Ungrateful creatures!" Megumi hissed, as she checked Tomoe's hair. The older woman looked pained, but her composure was admirable, and there wasn't even a tear in her eyes. "If you give them too much confidence… Oh, wait a minute."

Sliding the shoji open, she stepped inside her room briefly to get her comb. Kaoru's room was shut, so she supposed that the girl was already sleeping. Well, that was good… this would allow her to tell her tomorrow. She needed time, after all.

When she stepped out again, the doctor found Tomoe petting the cats again in the exactly same position, as if nothing had happened. This made her suppress a sigh, while she knelt at her side.

"Tomoe-san, you're impossible…" she growled in an undertone, loosing her tresses in order to comb them. "Well, where were we? Oh, yes… I was going to tell you that I'm probably leaving tomorrow."

The other woman stiffened, and Megumi was able to perceive the sudden tension in her muscles. It was fine, she had expected such a reaction. Now, which lie would she tell her?

"I've been called from another city," she said at last. "They are building a new clinic there, and somebody told them about me. I liked the project very much, so I've decided I'm going to accept."

To her great surprise, Tomoe shook her head.

"What?" she exclaimed, letting the comb rest on the floor of the porch with a somewhat crispated hand. The older woman turned back to face her with her loose hair dangling down her back, and Megumi's eyes widened as she admired her beauty by the light of the candle. Then, she made a gesture with her fingers pointing her eyes, letting them flow down her cheeks as if they were tears.

"You would be sad?" the doctor ventured. "No… you point at me… I would be sad? It isn't that either?"

Tomoe pointed intensively at the place where they were, and the light of comprehension began to dawn in Megumi's mind. "Ah… you mean that I am sad now?" Puzzled, her first reaction was to try to deny it vehemently, but something in the other woman's face prevented her from doing so. How could she know? It was not that she was vain, but she was positive that she put up an admirable acting in front of others after years of experience and endurance.

"You are right," she sighed at last, saving whatever composure she had left. "But I have no other option. I'm afraid that…" She stopped herself again, refusing to pronounce the words. It was so shameful…

Tomoe gave her an encouraging look.

Darn…

"I'm afraid that I'm not going to improve my skills at all if I just stay helping around in a small clinic," she said, getting up with determination. After all, Tomoe-san didn't tell her about her problems either, so why should she? "Now, please, come and leave the cats to wrestle on their own. It would be good for both of us if we had a warm dinner."

As she got inside the dark house, however, Megumi did not hear the sound of anybody following her steps.

You're not happy…

"Why, of course I'm not!"

Once she was inside her bed at last, about an hour later, and in spite of the weariness that she felt after a hard day of work, the young doctor could not help but toss and turn around, submerged in her own musings. Tomoe-san had told her that she was sad… and, to tell the truth, she had been right. Though, more than sad, she would describe it as some nagging feeling of nostalgia, and a sharp suffocation. The girl was innocent, clumsy and impulsive, and she made ample fun of these "qualities", but in spite of all the times that she picked on her, she was aware that Kaoru had managed to turn herself into a constant reference that filled her life and gave it a part of its meaning. She amused her, and when she returned from work she was already wondering how she would surprise her this time and make her forget how tired she was. Even more; her dreams and hopes, the dreams and hopes of a normal girl who was living her life, rubbed off a bit on her and sometimes allowed her to feel like one more in her family for a while.

And Tomoe-san… it was too complicated to explain what she felt towards her, but sometimes it felt surprisingly good to sit beside her. She didn't ask questions - well, most of the times, and she was still astonished at her behaviour of that night -, didn't accuse her, didn't judge her, but rather had that look in her eyes that never failed to tell her that, in some way, she understood her and knew what it was to feel haunted by a terrible past that would never let go completely. In fact, those eyes… they reminded her a bit too much of him, sometimes.

Maybe that was why it felt so good to sit beside her.

Now, the suffocation that she was experiencing so intensely was the almost unbearable feeling of knowing that she would always be tracked, no matter what she did. Once she had already managed to convince herself that they had definitely vanished from her life, maybe because of a suspicion, or maybe because of a true evidence, everything was falling apart once more. She was condemned to flee, to leave the people that she had come to like, to fight for her life and for her soul with nails and teeth forever.

And with this, she reminded herself, getting a hand under her pillow and touching her dagger. With this too.

Minutes later, with a single tear slowly drying on her left cheek and her hand still clutching the handle of her small weapon, the doctor fell at last into a deep sleep. Unbeknownst to her, that was the moment that a slender figure chose to slide the shoji open, and tiptoe in complete silence towards the inner rooms.

Kamiya Kaoru

The girl let the bag fall to the dojo floor with a thump, and rubbed her sleepy eyes before walking towards the corner where she kept the swords. There was nobody there yet, and the silent emptiness reverberated heavily against her ears.

Last night had been a total failure that she didn't really want to remember. She had spent hours wandering around the city at night, even at the most awful places that she hadn't ever dared to visit before. As long as she was fuelled by the determination she had made nothing had mattered to her anymore, as if her own body didn't belong to her mind.

We will tear the Kamiya dojo to pieces…

How dare he? How dare he put her students in danger, her boarders, and the Kamiya Kasshin style? What did he pretend to get from this, that murderer? The only thing that came to her mind was that his blood-lusting mind felt challenged by the only non-killing technique that existed in Tokyo, and wanted to put an end to even the possibility of the dream. And this, of course, helped a lot to irritate her further.

In vain. All had been in vain, she despaired once more, pulling the sword off from the racket and submerging in a furious session of practice. She had met other people who had put her mission and herself in danger, but the infamous hitokiri hadn't risked an appearance. And, she knew it very well, if she didn't catch him soon, everything, meaning everything in truth, around her was going to crumble. The dojo would lose its last students who gave it the last breaths of life. Her house would lose its boarders, which would leave her completely alone and devoid of any friend. And with them, all the money would leave, and the dojo, together with everything her father had fought so hard to achieve, would be forsaken.

She had rarely felt so desperate ever.

"Why did you have to leave?"she muttered, between clenched teeth and trying to keep her breath even. "Nothing of this would have happened. They wouldn't have dared… not even Battousai…"

Crybaby, she scolded herself. That's what Megumi-san would call her, and she was right even if Kaoru doubted that the doctor understood the exact scope of what she was talking about. She had to be brave, fight for what she cherished most since that was her duty. She was too old already, and the situation was too dire as to wallow in self-pity.

"Excuse me, Kaoru-sensei…"

"At last!" The young woman snapped out of her practice session, and wiped the sweat on her forehead with hidden glee. Her two students were standing on the door, and she beckoned them in with a severe gesture. "Do you have any excuse for coming so late?"

"Kaoru-sensei…" The boys didn't make a move to get in, nor did they discard their shoes on the door. A vague feeling of alarm started nagging at the back of Kaoru's mind.

"What's the matter?" she cried in exasperation, trying to quench the hesitation in her voice. "Come in, I say! We're too late already!"

They wouldn't… would they?

"My older brother heard in a tavern yesterday that a gang is going to attack this dojo. One of theirs was killed by that Battousai, and they…"

"…want revenge." his companion finished for him.

"Yes." the first to speak nodded gravely. "And we're leaving. Our families don't want us to be here anymore."

Those words struck Kaoru with the might of a hammer crashing down on her head. For a long while, she was paralysed, and all wordsfailed to come to her mouth. She didn't even have the strength or the drive to protest once more, and shout to them that Battousai never had belonged to her dojo.

Did that matter anymore?

"You… are leaving?" she muttered at last. Oh no, her lip was trembling! She couldn't… "For good?"

The boys' faces softened, and she thought she could spot guilt and pity in both of them. As if on common accord, they bowed deeply.

"We're sorry. Please, forgive us. We know you're innocent, but…"

"If it only depended on me, I would have never left," the other assured her, but without daring to look at her in the eye. For once, Kaoru was glad of this, since she would have hated that they had been able to see her pathetic state. "Goodbye, Kaoru-sensei."

She was not sure whether she had been able to mutter something as an answer to this. Her eyes were fixed on the silhouettes that walked down the yard until they disappeared behind the gates of the compound, and she stayed in that position for long, unable to act or to think anything. It was when she found herself wholly alone in her empty dojo when she felt at last an emotion breaking through her dazed mind, and she started to sob, falling to her knees on the wooden floor.

"I'm… home," she muttered. She didn't even bother to wait for an answer before she rushed to her room to leave her things there, though she could observe that Megumi had returned earlier than usual and was looking at her in surprise. When at last she could gather herself enough as to emerge again, her eyes met two worried pairs of glances, one of them laced with a tinge of…

…guilt?

"You come earlier at each passing day," Megumi commented. Kaoru shrugged her shoulders as her answer, but in the last moment she turned back towards the doctor and frowned.

"You too," she observed. "You're never here so early. Is the clinic closed?"

"Well… no." To her great surprise, Megumi hesitated for a while, as if she was nervous. Her agitation was perceptible for a fleeting moment, until she regained her usual composure and gave her a matter-of-fact look. "I'm moving out tomorrow morning."

Kaoru's face paled visibly.

"What?"

"Yes," Megumi turned back, turning her back to her with the pretext of cutting some vegetables. "I've received a letter from…"

But the girl raised her hand and made a decided, somewhat curt gesture of dismissal.

"There's no need of giving me reasons. Really. I…. understand."

With puzzled eyes, both Megumi and Tomoe watched the young woman leave in silence, and head towards the cherished darkness of her room at a tense pace.

Himura Tomoe

My hand is trembling as I write today's lines. It's the first time in months, maybe in years… I would be able to say it accurately if I hadn't let go of the notion of time. Still, if there's something I can say in truth it is that I feel as if I hadn't undergone anything similar for a long while. Peace was all my life was filled with, without remembering or having nightmares like those that I used to have before. I had been quietly observing the people who live in this house, their bickering and their daily problems, without interfering in them. Mute for so many years, I had accepted my punishment and grown to love it, to depend on it, so much that I don't remember anymore the disagreeable sensation of having to pronounce words and lies in front of people, of seeing them believe me, too coward to say the truth, and of being asked, wrung out shreds of shameful information. I had become what I had wanted so eagerly to be for the last thirteen years; a silent presence with no past, no future and a hazy present, a friendly hand who helps living people by looking after the things that they leave behind in their busy lives, and whom they never, ever, would ever dream of asking a single question.

And then, above all, I had ceased thinking. After being through a long hell of years I had finally erased the broken images of Kiyosato and of Kenshin from my mind, facing each other, hurting each other with their bloodstained swords. To be at peace with both, I thought, the only thing I could do was forget them both. The anguished eyes, the anguished voices were no longer there, whispering my name…

Tomoe… why?

It might be because I have been hearing his name, no, his title, for weeks now in this house. The hitokiri Batotusai, the legendary manslayer of the Bakumatsu, is wandering the streets of Tokyo killing people and claiming he has studied in the Kamiya Kasshin dojo. I know it's not him; it must be someone using his name. What interest would he have in continuing to kill idly so many years after the peace, tarnishing the reputation of a little dojo with no great fame or pretensions? Hadn't he promised…?

…Promised to me…

Maybe I wrecked the only opportunity he might ever have had of finding peace, and of cutting the vicious circle of murders and blood that had been his life until then. Maybe, who knows? with my betrayal and my departure, he lost all hope of ever being accepted anywhere by anyone, and lost forever what had remained of his soul. Maybe the kindness he was starting to show died trampled under my feet that snowy morning.

Maybe I'm guilty of all this…

But no, what am I saying? It's not him. I know it's not him. His name is so legendary that it fills anyone's heart with terror, and that's why any ruffian knows he can earn much by adopting it. It can't be him.

Either way, what really matters is that, because of this, the images have returned to my mind of late. Last night, as I was lying in my bed, I saw his face with my own eyes. He was lying on his futon, unconscious and full of bandages, and as I got near he started to toss and groan. He asked me why…and I got up at once to find myself wriggling in an empty bed with my eyes full of silent tears. Again. Yet again.

Now, and as I am standing here, I'm feeling again the agony, intensified by the longing of years. Did I remember to close the door when I left? Did the villagers find him quickly? Did he ask for me, try to find me, and did he hate me when he woke up? Did he return to fighting because he wanted to forget me, or because he did not care anymore? What did he do once the Bakumatsu was over? Did he fulfil the vow made to a traitor?

Is he alive now?

I feel as if I was being torn in two painfully, like I was on those winter days I have always tried so hard to forget. The only way to achieve peace for me is to forget everything about him, and to leave as little traces as possible of my footsteps on the frail surface of the world. I want to disappear in the shadows, for if my eyes met his once…I honestly don't know what I would do. I would prefer death a thousand times over than to see his feelings towards me mirrored in those violet - amber?- orbs. But, at the same time, I am still worrying about him. I desperately want to know how he's doing now, and what does he feel. I fret on his account, and see his face at night. Sometimes…I even have shady and shameful recollections of a mutual smile, or a fleeting moment of passion that reverberates in my body and provokes guilty reactions. We were so young back then…

I miss him. Wretched, damned and accursed, I miss him so much that it will be a long while until I'm able to smother and drown this image into the mass of frozen, forgotten dreams. And meanwhile, while I'm not strong enough as to do so, my small world will stay torn in two, as if pierced by that sword that almost killed me in that morning of sordid carnage.

Oh, I wish so much that it had killed me in truth…

Kamiya Kaoru

Kaoru tightened her grip on the hilt of her wooden sword, and repressed a growl of frustration. After spending hours patrolling the quarters of worst reputation, hearing jeers, lewd invitations, even fighting with one or two people and being thrown out or leaving on her own feet at least five different taverns, she was none the wiser about the whereabouts or the looks of the Battousai. It was just like the previous night; all her efforts had gone to waste, and tomorrow she was sure she would spend all day half broken with exhaustion and unable to hide it. Megumi-san would say…

Nothing. She would say nothing, Kaoru remembered, feeling a pang shake her heart. She was going to leave, because her landlady was not able to keep her own house safe anymore. Tomoe-san would stay simply because she couldn't go anywhere else, and if harm came to her it would be Kaoru's fault too. Because she was darn unable to do anything right.

The girl stopped absently in front of the next tavern. Behind her, a dizzy voice was offering her a drink, and when she saw the pitiful state of the drunkard who was addressing her she left aside her "fighting mode" for some seconds and did a great effort overcoming her repugnance to help him lie in a not too uncomfortable place, and wind the sake jar from his already lax fingers. Hearing some soft and confused curses, she sniffed the bottle, and threw it as far as she could with a grimace.

Argh, that wasn't sake.

With a dismissive shake of her head, Kaoru walked towards the door of the infect place, and covered her nose to stand the stench of alcohol, smoke and vomit. Having learned from previous experiences, she didn't get inside anymore, just took a long peep from the entrance and checked that there wasn't any sword propped against the walls or in anyone's possession. She did not even bother to go in and "try to get information"; she had to repress a furious blush whenever she remembered how disastrously those attempts had ended in the other places.

Maybe he hadn't gone out this night either?

Maybe all he wanted was to drive her mad and self-destruct, she mused while she turned back on her heels and walked away. The drunkard was still muttering something unrecognisable when she walked past him, but he hadn't been able to get up. She was almost tempted to follow his example; for her feet ached and her head was starting to spin in circles. She should have eaten more, but from yesterday's experience she was afraid she would end one day by throwing up.

Great, Kaoru, great. And now, if you meet him, what will you do?

A bit worried, the girl crossed another frequented street and peered into a smaller one to continue her exhaustive investigation. Oh, it couldn't be true that now she was afraid of not being able to complete her mission because of her darn state. What was she doing there in the first place, then? Her technique was superior because it used the adversary's own strength against him, and she had studied it thoroughly before coming here. Even more, fighting for a just cause gave her energy and determination. She just could not…

Uh?

Kaoru stopped, and let all those thoughts drop from her mind for a moment. In spite of what it had seemed to her at first sight, there was someone in that street. It was a short silhouette, too rigid to be a drunkard, and he seemed to her piercing glance to be rearranging a pile of… boxes? that were piled in front of a house.

A robber?

Carefully, Kaoru tiptoed a bit closer, hiding in the shadows to get a better glimpse at that mysterious person. He had a bag on his shoulders, which he left now in the middle of a comfortable corner he had been able to make out of the new disposition of the boxes. Oh, just a beggar….

But then, as the girl was about to turn back and continue searching elsewhere, the clouds were parted at last, and the full moon appeared behind the clouds, casting a pale light over the bent body of the man. He was dressed in a hakama, and, hanging from his obi, Kaoru's surprised glance was able to spot the shape of a sheath.

The sheath of a real sword.

Her mouth curved into a brief smile of thankfulness towards the silvery orb which had unwittingly helped her in her endeavours. Immediately afterwards, she sobered up, and turned her face into a serious mask of determination while she fell into a stance.

"Hey you! Stop where you are, now!" she yelled. To all appearances taken at unawares, the man turned his head towards her. His hair was red like blood, the girl realised, trying hard not to feel intimidated in front of the impending battle.

"Hmmm?"

His face was the purest expression of innocence, and this made her blood boil again.

"Don't play the fool with me, hitokiri Battousai!"

As she charged forwards she could spot a pair of violet eyes, widening in astonishment at the centre of the hazy blur.

"Oro?"

(To be continued)