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Ways of Life! – Chapter 3

During the dinner John and Cathleen Bradleys were very quiet. Jacob knew that when they had finished eating, they would want to speak about what had happened at school today. He didn't want them to be worried or angry or upset because of him. It had been pure luck to get such good foster parents in his age. Jake had his own room, three meals a day, pocket money… and John and Cathleen really seemed to care about him. The problem was that he didn't. Now it was all fine but how long would this situation last? Jake simply couldn't dare to care.

"Do you want to tell us something, Jacob", Cathleen started.

Jake poked with his fork at the rests of the vegetable.

"Look at us, when we speak with you." John clearly was impatient. "Your headmaster already told us, was happened, but could you please explain why you did it?"

They both stared at him. With a sigh Jake put the towel with the ice cubes on his cheek. "There is this girl, Angela and the last days she spread the rumour all over the school that we kissed and that I even plagued her to go… further on, you know? And of course her boyfriend, that's this Nick Carnby, believed what she was telling; and everyone else too. So maybe you can imagine that the last days weren't easy for me at school."

"And then?"

"Nothing. I came to school, they were there, he insulted me…" Jake could not tell his foster parents the whole truth.

"Who do you mean by 'they'", John asked.

"His friends."

"That means… you just freaked out?" Cathleen looked disturbed.

"Hey, there was this bunch of angry boys, saying nasty things", John defended his foster son.

"Yes, but this is no reason to beat this poor boy so hard that he needs to be hospitalized. Can you imagine what his parents feel right now?"

Jake connected eyes with Cathleen. "No, I can't."

One moment Mrs. Bradley stared at him. He doesn't know how John and I feel... that we evenlove him after the few months he is with us now. And how is words hurt... Then she pointed in direction of the stairs. "Go to your room. You have house arrest!"

Jake stared back. He opened his mouth to apologize to say how sorry he was, but eventually he just obeyed.

Later in his bed he looked up at the ceiling, pretending he could see the sky. There were millions of small lights and everyone was a source of light. Most people associated 'light' with 'warmth'. For Jake it meant shadow. Everywhere where light touched something arised shadow. He had these good foster parents but Nick, Angela and every pupil gossiping about him darkened his life. And what Nick had said about his parents was just too horrible to even think about it.

Next day Mrs. Bradley brought him to school. As they parted he joked, that he would behave today, but unfortunately she didn't find it funny. She announced when she would pick him up at school and then drove of. Cautious he went inside. On the whole it was like he had expected this day to be. All this pupils stared at him while he went to his locker. He tried to smile but he didn't succeed in doing. I am the one who broke the arm and the nose of the most famous boy of this school and everyone knows it. Great!

As he passed the secretary, someone called his name. "Jacob Bradley!"

Jake turned around and said: "My name is not Bradley. They are just my foster parents."

The secretary blushed, but gave him a letter. "I'm sorry. - This is your suspension, designed by the headmaster."

He startled. Yesterday nobody mentioned a suspension. Damn it, this won't please the Bradleys. He reached for the letter. "What about Nick Carnby?"

"Well, Nick Carnby is the one seriously injured. He is the victim. Nobody would suspend him!"

A sarcastic smile appeared on his face. "Of course not. I wish you a nice day!" Jake turned around and when he left school nobody on the floor dared to say something. They felt his rage.

He is the victim.

… poor boy…

Nobody would suspend him!

…seriously injured…

He snorted. He would like to show them what a serious injury meant. Nobody cared about what Nick and Angela had done to him! Jake knew it hadn't been right to fight with him but was it his fault that he had been better than Nick? And he was in pain, too. It had just been luck that none of his bones broke yesterday. And for this luck the school was now punishing him. Suddenly he wanted to speak with someone about this mess. A friend would do it, but there was none. There were known faces in this school but no friends.

There was a knock at the door. Maria swallowed a bite of her sandwich and said: "Come in!"

Jake opened the door. "Hello."

"Hi." The therapist looked at him in surprise but then smiled and waved him over to her. "Sit down!" She packed her sandwich and the cup of coffee away.

Jake took seat on the easy chair. He didn't know how to start.

Maria broke the silence. "How are you?"

The boy smiled a sad smile and pointed at his bruised face. "Don't you see it?"

She shrugged. "Well, you have won colour since our last official meeting, but hey… that doesn't tell me anything about how it looks inside of you."

Jake leaned against backrest. "You don't judge rash, do you?"

"After three therapists you should know that our kind never judges." She blinked. "We listen."

He frowned. "It is wretched, you know? I wanted to tell someone how I feel and the only person that came to my mind were you."

Maria shook her head. "This isn't wretched. I am here to listen and I want to. – And you aren't supposed to find new friends on command, you know?"

Again there was silence. Maria explored Jake's face. Obviously there were the bruises and the right side of his face was still swollen. The more interesting fact was, that he still frowned like was thinking about something and that his eyes were fixed on his shoes.

Maria leaned forward. "Jake", she said softly.

He started. "What?"

"Where are you?"

"I was thinking about something an idiot said yesterday."

"What did he say?"

He glanced at her. "Nasty things."

"Nasty things about you?"

"About… my mother."

Without doubt, he spoke about the woman who had given life to him.

Careful, Maria, be careful… "Do you want to tell me what he said exactly?"

Jake shook his head. After a moment he crossed his legs on the easy chair. He looked like he wanted to get rid of something. "I don't remember her, you know? And… it is just… What if everything he said about her is true? What if she really was a… a..." He drew a deep breath. "After all, she abandoned me. She left me."

"What do you feel about your mum?"

Jake moved like he felt uncomfortable. He didn't look at her. "I don't know", he whispered. Then his voice strengthened again. "I… for a long time, I thought I would hate her for leaving me. Now… I'm no longer sure I do."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I think Iknow now that the ways of life aren't that easy. White and black… but there is a lot of grey too."

Maria smiled. "That's wise, Jake."

"Fact is I do not know her and why she left me. Maybe she was herself half a kid, not able to keep me. - Or maybe she didn't survive my birth", he added and connected eyes with her.

"You have thought about it", she stated.

"Yeah, I had to, hadn't I? There were many lonely nights in this or that foster home or family, which gave me the time."

Maria moistened her lips. Shall I or not? God, I'm way too curious for this job… "I… Jake, we have to stop for now. In 5 minutes my next patient will come."

"Okay – then, thanks for listening." He got up and tried a smile. In an instant he felt better. Wow…

"Um… I will call your foster parents this evening."

"Why?" Jake sat down again.

"I want to ask them something."

"Will you tell me what you asked them when we meet next time?"

"I will."