I'M BAAAACK! Did you miss me!

I suppose there's no way I can apologize enough. My computer crashed and I was without it for about a month and a half and when it came back all my files had been deleted. That wasa few months ago, and I just hadn't gotten the drive to keep working until recently when I was reading through some of the reviews for Blue Angel Samui's story "Devotions" and angelwing (always a faithful reviewer) wrote that I had abandoned my readers. Of course, I was filled with guilt and decided I should get back to my work, and here is the product of that discovery. Please don't disown me!

Chapter Twelve: The Crumbling of the Will

"Clef," her voice was a ghostly whisper; her figure a faint glow in the mist of the dream world where he lie dormant. Her realm, he had to remind himself bitingly.

"My love," he murmured and wanted to run to her, to pull her into his arms and kiss her until it was all all right, but he knew he couldn't. She was not his; she was a creature of Cephiro now, there was nothing he could do to change that. They were all pawns on a chessboard, and even the queen was in danger of being captured for sacrifice. Even a pawn could take the king, as it had been proven.

"I can't stay long," she looked behind her, almost frightened. "I just had to…thank you," her smile was strong despite her sad eyes and he was only endeared further. "I didn't think you could do it; Selece is everything to me. I didn't think you would…" then suddenly, her mood darkened drastically. "Take care of her Clef; take care of her as you took care of me."

He stopped breathing, frozen solid where he stood. What was she saying? She couldn't have… "Don't give up Umi-chan," he whispered softly. "There still might be a way, anything. There might be something. I know that; I'm not sure about anything, but I'm sure of that."

She laughed lightly, sending a tingling feeling through his body, "No, there isn't. But I want you to be happy, and she's strong, far stronger than I could have ever been. Please, watch over her, see that she grows to be the Water Knight that I couldn't be."

"You're wrong!" he shouted viciously, running toward her as she faded into the backdrop of the dream, as she slipped away from him. "Umi! You're wrong! Who are you? You're the Knight of Water! You're not this creature! Umi!"

"I love you Clef," the words were so soft they barely penetrated his ear, but they stung deeper than any wound.

He jumped awake and swiped the sweat off his brow with the corner of his silk sheet. The dream resonated strongly in his mind, and he rose angrily and threw open the doors to his balcony, gazing into the night. His mind screamed in anguish, his heart pounded loudly, his skin itched for the feel of her hair, her lips. He closed his eyes and breathed in a scent that no longer surrounded him. Anger rose in him, boiled until he was sure he would burst from it. He hated everything about the beautiful world that lay in front of him. He despised everything from the gentle carpet of green rolling beneath him to the black velvet cover that formed the sky. He hated the way the stars twinkled brightly, mocking his pain, the way the owls in the woods hooted merrily, calling to their mates. He couldn't stand the presence of any happiness; he wanted to surround himself in contempt and misery and stay there, a shell of what he had once been.

He had done his duty, like a good little bishop on the board. He had protected the world that he had once called home, even though the world had never protected him. He had done it for the innocents that shouldn't have to feel the pain that was now entrenched deep inside him, not expecting an impossible reward, but hoping against hope that something good could have come of his actions. But nothing had; nothing except more pain and a severe headache, nothing but a simple dream in which even his love had abandoned him.

The only sound that disturbed his brooding was a gentle knock that he wanted to push aside. He wanted to shut them all out, wanted to live alone in his suffering, but his body forced him to the door, ordered him to reach for the knob and turn it to pour light onto the inquisitive Alliandre.

"Guru," she bowed low. "You're awake."

He nodded stiffly, wanting more than anything to leap across the threshold of the door and strangle the small creature that seemed to epitomize everything that had been so ruthlessly stolen from him. He suppressed the urge and waited for her to speak, refusing to try and make conversation with the girl.

She squirmed uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze and turned her eyes to the floor, shuffling her feet anxiously, "I-uh-came to uh-thank you- for uh, not killing me, and uh-everything," she stumbled, and he sighed, unimpressed, trying not to compare her with Umi.

Umi, he smiled softly and considered what she would have done. She would have stood there, glaring at him angrily, daring him to explain why he had pulled such a ridiculous stunt, demanding to know if he was stupid or just insane. She would have made it seem that she was the victim and he the villain; she certainly would not have thanked him!

The anger burned in his throat in the form of tears that he swallowed down. There was no reason to cry in front of the girl; the only one who saw his weakness was Umi, and however inglorious the emotion, he would reserve it only for his love.

"Well, I guess that's everything then," she turned and sighed deeply. Then, in a surge of courage, flung around to meet his eyes, enraged, which made his eyes shoot open, a strange picture flashed in his mind, from her to Umi, then back, making him consider the girl more carefully.

She was utterly unlike his love, shorter, plainer, but…there was a similar determination in her eyes, especially when she looked at him like that.

"You could at least say thank you for saving your life!" she screamed at him, her anger getting the better of her, something Umi had always been apt to do.

He chuckled softly, no warmth touching the motion, only a bitter, stinging cold, "You say that under the presumption that I wanted to live. Why would I thank you for stealing death from me?" he inquired bitingly, and she stepped back, afraid of the apathy in his eyes. These were not the eyes of the man that had been described to her. These were the tormented eyes of a man that had been driven mad by loss.

"I…"

"Go," he ordered. "I don't want to see you; you are a painful reminder of all that I have lost. Go, and try to stay out of my way," the last he said with a hidden warning that sent Alliandre sprinting in the other direction, not even bothering to watch him shut the door behind her.

When he was safe in his own solitude, he sat on the floor and meditated, trying to bring on the dreamlike state that would lead him to Umi, if only in spirit, but it was all to no avail. She had blocked her mind out to him, so, he thought blandly, her powers are growing. How soon until she has forgotten her love? How soon until she has drowned in those powers? He pushed the voice aside and curled up in his bed, unable to find sleep, yet without the strength to go on. He was a battered, tired man. He had seen his own end, and he had seen the end of his love. He had been drained of hope, of life, and had therefore been drained of magic. Everything he had once been was shattered, and life as he knew it was completely gone, dead and buried, left to rot in the grave.

Fuu set her glasses down on the table she was working at and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She and Hikaru had been pouring over books every minute of the time they'd spent in the city Clef had directed them to and there had been nothing.

"Ugh!" Hikaru screamed, exasperated, slamming the cover to yet another musty old volume closed with a loud bang. "Where is it?"

Fuu shook her head, so her golden curls spread about her beautifully, "I don't know Hikaru-san," she answered softly. "I don't know."

Ferio sauntered over to Fuu and wrapped an arm around her shoulders gently, "We'll find it," he assured her, and Fuu looked out the huge double plated windows that covered one wall of the enormous library, for once, she took no comfort in the embrace of her lover.

"But will we be too late?" and as if to accent her words, a bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree and it fell against the ground with a sickening crunch.

"So it begins," Lantis' voice rung with ancient prophecy as if he was not even connected to his body. "The Master Mage has lost his Will to live."

"And with him goes the magic of Cephiro, in a land where everything is determined by Will, if he has none, then there is nothing left to hope for," Ferio mumbled near Fuu's neck and looked back to the books. "We have to hurry."

And if that was a jolt back into the present, all four dove back into their task, searching desperately for something, anything that would help them in their journey.

Umi felt rings around her eyes, still unable to get to the strange sleep schedule being up the entire night brought. True, she didn't need as much sleep as a normal human would need, but she still needed some and getting none wasn't enough.

"Quies," a faint voice called from behind her locked door, and she moved to open it, almost getting used to the name. When she opened the huge oak door she saw Calder, now Noctis- the Keeper of the Night. "Veneficus sent me. He said it was urgent; you must go to him."

Umi nodded and thanked him quietly, ready to accept her Punishment. She knew it had been dangerous to attempt to speak to Clef, but she didn't really care. It wasn't as if she was getting out of this situation anytime soon anyway, and maybe going to the Floor would hasten the birth of an apprentice.

Her heart didn't even flutter in apprehension when she entered the throne room of the Keeper of Magic. She didn't fear anything now, not even the dreaded Floor. What could be worse than what she'd suffered? Four hundred years in darkness, eighteen years of an unknown longing, suffering at the hands of a long-despised enemy only to be torn away from her one true love? What was there to fear? There was nothing that mattered without Clef in her life, and she wasn't about to pretend that there was.

"You sent?" she inquired, gazing right into Veneficus' rainbow colored eyes, something she would have been unable to do on any other occasion.

"I did," he answered calmly. "I felt a disturbance in the energies of the Sacred Village."

"Oh?" she replied casually, because even though she didn't fear the Floor she wasn't about to go spilling out everything she'd done in her short time as Keeper of Dreams. What would be the point? And she was too tired to deal with a lecture, best to keep quiet and wait for him to stop beating around the bush.

"It seems that someone was trying to find a way to breach our magic, wonder who that could be?" he raised his eyebrows at her, but she just watched him, unaffected.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Don't play dumb," he snapped. "I feel bad for you, really, I do, but my pity will only take you so far. Tell me what he's trying to do!" Veneficus' face twisted in rage at her audacity. She'd been Keeper for a few weeks, and she thought she knew something about playing the game! She knew nothing! She was a puppy and he was a mastiff, and he would eat her alive if he had to. He did have the power after all.

"First of all, your pity is not what I want, nor need. I don't care about Punishments, so throw me your best. But if you must know what Clef is doing why don't you ask him yourself? If you're so all mighty you should be able to tell what he's doing with his magic anyway, you are the Keeper of Magic, or were, last time I checked! I don't know; I've blocked him from my mind so I can continue doing what I was ordered to do, and if you have a problem with that…" she trailed off, because she knew there was nothing she could threaten him with. She wanted to break down and cry, but she couldn't. How could anyone live like this? How could she force herself to keep on after this? There was no way she could make herself push forward. But she couldn't just will her young body to die either. It wasn't fair! But then, when had the world ever been fair to her?

Veneficus pulled back, startled at the contempt in her voice. But it wasn't a contempt for him per say, it was a contempt for the entire concept of Keepers. How could she hate what she was? It just didn't make sense, "Well my dear," he shook his head disbelievingly. "I guess I can't Punish you, you didn't break any rules in blocking your lover from your mind, and you didn't fall in love while you were here, so there's nothing more I can say to you. "

"Have they found a replacement yet?" she asked tiredly, and he shook his head.

"One has not been born."

"But what if I was to do something right now and I went to Floor for it?" she inquired. This whole system was flawed! Cephiro didn't need anyone to pray for it anymore, so why did it need someone to guard its every move?

"Then various Keepers would take on various tasks until a replacement was to be found, much like they did when you first arrived here. I presume you have full control of your powers now?"

She nodded, "Veneficus, why do any of the Keepers do it? I mean, why would you do this when the things you're meant to guard are kept from you? Look at Bestia, the one who creates and protects animals. When I brought my mare into this Village, he gazed upon her with such loving eyes, like a father looking at his newborn child. There was such a deep love there, I could barely breathe just watching, and when she approached him, he jumped back in fear and was forced to move inside because he's not allowed to touch animals. How could you do this? And you? You guard and possess all the magic in the world, and you're not allowed to so much as light a candle with it? Don't your hands itch to try some of the things you've seen?"

"Every minute of every day," he answered and sighed heavily, standing and descending the throne to take her shoulders under his hands, which itched even more. She was a Magic Knight, the other half of his Punishment. She was the one he could never have, but he would control himself. He knew what the Floor was like; he'd seen it before when he'd tried to hide a little girl that was just coming into her powers from the prowess of her evil uncle. Instead of simply guiding her magic, as he was allowed to do, he brought it into himself and used it to protect her, easier, quicker, but not allowed, and the Council had sent him to the floor for two hundred years. Those had been the early days. He shuddered, no; he would not go back there again for all the world. "Quies, to find the answer to that question all you have to do is take a good look at everything good in Cephiro and imagine it with no guidance. This world was created based on Will, but the people here are still people, and not all Wills are good. You see, if we let everything go unmanaged here, then the people who could corrupt it with their very thoughts, would. That's why the Magic Knights, that's why the Keepers."

"Yes, but why the Punishments?" she was almost pleading, as if making him understand her side would help her cause. She realized she wasn't opening up to his side, but he'd been bred and raised for this job; she hadn't. Maybe that was the problem, maybe she'd had more taste of freedom than any of the Keepers could ever dream of, and she knew what they were missing when they didn't. Most of these people had been taken from their homes at a very young age, some were a little older, but they'd been conditioned to accept their tasks while she had been simply thrown into her position.

"Distractions," he answered simply. "They're just distractions, if Bestia were allowed to touch his beasts he wouldn't be able to take his hands off them long enough to protect them. If I were allowed to use magic I would spend more time trying to dabble with it for self gain than trying to protect it. If you were allowed to love you would be pulled into the dream of the romance until it was all that you were, unable to project anything but love into people's eyes, and sometimes people need the truth, and their subconscious is the only way to give it to them. Do you see? We Keepers, we are immortal by nature, but we were people, we still are people, and we'd be selfish just as quickly as any other person given the chance. You saw Blade and Alianore; don't you think we all think of doing that? But we have homes here; we have powers and things to protect. Most of us can get past the itch and be happy."

"But there's always a part of you missing."

He shrugged and dropped his hold on her shoulders, "It keeps us alert. Go now, leave me, and try and digest some of what I've told you. I need to meditate and try to keep the Master Mage from breaking through our barriers, because I'm not sure what would happen if he did."

She nodded, spun on her heel and stormed out; her heart heavy with guilt. She knew she was being selfish, but…damn it, she'd suffered enough!

"Oh my God," Fuu whispered, trying to refocus her eyes long enough to reread the piece of parchment she'd been reading. They'd been at this for almost two days straight and so far there'd been nothing, and the conditions in Cephiro were getting drastically worse. They'd been through almost every book on magic in the entire library and had moved onto the ancient histories, and here, in the most unlikely of places, she found their answer.

Hikaru peered over Fuu's shoulder to read the heading of the parchment, "The Last Wish of Emeraude?"

Fuu nodded, "She must have known, about the Keepers. She wanted to abolish it," she whispered and read the paper out loud for the benefit of the others, "My last wish before I die would be to see the Keepers and the Magic Knight freed of their Punishments. But, I know this is a futile wish, one that could never be made without the Will of the people behind it. One person is not enough. There is only one way for the Keepers and the Knights to be freed, and that would take the hearts of many, the magic of many, the strength of many, and it would be a battle against the world. If there were a way that I could work this magic in my last breath I would. I can only hope that in the future there will be a way to save them. I feel a darkness; there will be a time when a savior will be desperately needed."

"What does that mean?" Hikaru shook her head in confusion. "What are we supposed to do? I'll do it; I just need to know what to do first!"

"The hearts of many, the magic of many," Fuu whispered. "A battle against the world," she nodded to herself. "We're going to have to fight the Will of the Cephiro."