Her Sweetness: Hallo, there! My shoulders are kind of sore right now. But that's okay. The reviews I've been getting from you guys are awesome, I'm so happy!
I even have more people going to read the prequel before they read this and that's just great!
I was having computer trouble up until now, but I think we've got it down now. So, here we go, once again.
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 3:
When they had first stepped off the bus, nothing about the condition of the entire neighborhood really registered with the boys. But now that they were heading for the giant eyesore Yami and Yugi called a palace, they noticed that nothing was really the same anymore.
As Marik and Malik made their way past their street, they began to notice different billboards and posters on everything. Advertising this and that, things that normally no one would care about. But apparently, Yami and Yugi did.
Malik stopped and turned to a gigantic board above two houses, it had Yami's face on it and in a speech bubble coming out of his mouth, it said, 'Soap. Use it.'
"Wow… Hey, look at that." Malik pointed.
Marik lifted an eyebrow, "What the…? Soap? That's so stupid! Who doesn't use soap?"
His hikari shuffled his feet and blushed, "Actually, Marik, there was this one time where I couldn't-"
"Oh, I don't wanna hear it!" He began to walk away, Malik in tow, "And I don't believe this stuff anyway… Yami and Yugi ruling the world… Have you ever heard such a thing? It's ridiculous!"
"Well… yeah, it is. But wouldn't this explain the way Domino looks?"
"This could be anyone's work! I-I mean, Saddam or Osama could've come over here and blown everything sky-high! And I don't care if Tristan thinks they've suffered a concussion or whatever. I'm telling you, there's just no way-"
"Eek! Ah! Marik, help!"
Marik turned around, confused at what was probably Malik yelling for assistance. He thought that maybe it was something silly, like that time Malik was being groped by a bunch of confused, old men. But when he saw his hikari on the floor, flopping around, his mouth sort of dropped.
"… W-What are you doing, you idiot? Get off the ground!"
"Aahhh! Oh Ra, get it off! Get it off!" Malik squealed, swatting at something unseen.
Marik squinted, seeing a flash of brown on Malik's head and then going into his shirt. "Oh… Hey, is that a squirrel?"
"Yes! Eh, Marik get it out!" Malik began to cry now, feeling the squirrel dig into the sanctity of his trousers. "OW! Marik, it bit me!"
"Alright, alright, hold still!" Marik had pinned his light down to the cracked pavement and was trying to grab the squirrel, but it darted around on the boy's body. After two minutes of Malik flailing, Marik struggling and the squirrel actually snickering at them, Marik gave up.
"Ugh! Stupid squirrel… Malik, I can't get it out. You'll just have to live with it."
"No…!" Marik was sobbing. And he had good reason now that the squirrel had bitten the lower half of his body and his ears. He fidgeted, getting up and felt the squirrel burrow into his pants again.
"GET OUT OF MY PANTS!" He howled.
Marik's eyes went wide as he shushed the boy, "You idiot, don't scream that out loud! What will people think?"
"…" Malik blinked, "That someone is in my pants?"
"Grr! Come here!"
Malik was dragged from the ground and pulled up. Of course, as they walked down the street and Malik felt the squirrel make himself at home, Marik spotted three men in yellow and gray uniforms on the street corner. What was odd about this was their hair. They each had what Marik supposed were wigs, look-alikes of Yami and Yugi's hair. Red, yellow and black spikes going everywhere.
"Oh my Ra, look at that!" Marik whispered, "Sideshow freaks!"
Malik blinked and cringed, "Jeez… Okay, Marik, don't be insensitive. Don't call them 'sideshow freaks', either… How would you like it people called you that?"
He fluffed his hair, "I don't look like that."
They continued to walk and tried with all their might not to look at the spiky-haired people. Although they saw that style on Yami and Yugi all the time, it looked totally different on grown men with beer bellies.
When the boys passed by the men, they stopped their conversations and strolled over to the hikari and yami pair.
"Excuse me, young men." Said one of them, clearing his voice. "Where are you off to?"
Marik held in his laughter. Seeing them up close made them look twice as ridiculous, "Heh… Ah, we're going to that big castle over there. We're going to straighten this out."
"… Straighten what out?"
"This whole… Yami and Yugi ruling the world thing." Marik made strange hand gestures in the air, "It's stupid… And speaking of which, why did you steal their hairstyle?"
Malik muttered, "It's so last week…"
"Ahem! First of all, you never refer to our Pharaohs in that context. And second, nothing needs to be rectified. And third, this is part of our uniform, for we are the SPIKE PATROL!"
Marik and Malik jumped back for he had yelled 'spike patrol' and struck a rather odd pose. When he assumed his standing position again, Malik blinked, "Y-You mean there really is a… Spike Patrol?"
"That's right." The three men nodded solemnly, "For we are the SPIKE PATROL!"
"Jeez! W-Will ya cut that out?" Marik shouted at them, Malik now in his arms and shuddering from fear. Marik quickly dropped him on his butt and the squirrel came flying out of his pants, squeaking and carrying on.
"Oh!" The Spike Patrol hid behind Marik as Malik took of his pants in order to let the squirrel go free. He scampered up into a tree and peered down at the people below, seemingly scowling at them.
"Ah…" Malik sighed, wiping his brow, "Thank Ra… He was making me itch…"
Marik cleared his throat and pointed to his hikari's pants which were in a buddle on the pavement. Malik gasped, hurrying to put them back on.
"Eh heh heh heh!" He smiled and scratched the back of his head. When his pants were buckled, he turned back to his yami and Yami's soldiers. "'Kay, Marik, are we leaving?"
"Yep. See ya, Spikes."
One of the men blinked as the two Egyptians walked off, "Hey, hey! Hold on there!"
They stopped in their tracks and turned slightly, "Ugh… Yeah?"
"Was that a squirrel that you were harboring in your pants, young man?"
"Uh… Well, yeah. But, you see-"
He held up a scroll of paper that fell out to be about five feet. A pair of reading glasses were placed upon his face as he cleared his voice, "Section 2, Paragraph 5 of the Outer Limits Street Protocol clearly states that it is illegal to smuggle the rabid squirrels out of the area. They are an endangered species, sirs and I'm afraid there will be repercussions for these thoughtless acts of juvenile delinquency."
"…" Both boys starred at them.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to come with us."
"WHA…? No! Wait, wait! You don't understand, I didn't want that squirrel! It came into my pants!" Malik shouted, halfway in shock that something so stupid as a rule telling people not to steal squirrels could exist.
"Yeah!" Marik added, "Why in hell's name would anyone want a rabid squirrel in their pants?"
The man narrowed his eyes at Malik, "I don't know. Maybe some kind of wacky, new pleasure? You never know what these crazy teens will do these days."
Malik blinked, "…That's gross, dude."
No more was said from the Spike Patrol as they placed Marik and Malik in metal handcuffs. Though they did have a bit of trouble at first, but since there were three of them, they succeeded in arresting the boys and heading off towards the Inner City's gate. The walk took about an hour. It probably would've taken a bit less time, but then you had to account for Marik's struggling and Malik crying. And although most people would cry because of the fact that they had been captured, Malik was bawling simply because their dirty hands were messing up a shirt that had cost him $65.
"Ah. New prisoners?"
When they arrived at the large, golden gate, a few men were keeping watch at the doors. They were wearing the same thing that Marik and Malik's captures were and they supposed that they too were part of Yami's beloved army.
"Well, we don't know yet." The man holding Malik answered, "That's for our Pharaoh's to decide. We caught them out there trying to smuggle the squirrels, so, you know."
"Damn. Well, go ahead in." He gave the men a salute, "For we are the SPIKE PATROL!"
"For we are the SPIKE PATROL!"
The large gates began to open slowly and they ventured inside. Marik and Malik were surprised at how the inside of the gates looked so much like the Domino they had left about a week ago. Nothing too bad was going on. It was the usual… beating up the old people, throwing shoes on the power lines and spray painting sides of buildings.
"Oh, wow!" Malik exclaimed as they got closer to the palace in the center of everything. It was about the size of their old castle, but it looked different and it had people walking throughout the rooms and in and out of balconies.
"Pheh." Marik rolled his eyes, "Ours was better…"
They were brought inside and Malik marveled at how clean it was.
"I wonder if they use Pinesol or Mr. Clean…"
"Malik, will you cut that out?"
"Alright both of you, be silent. We will soon be in the presence of our Pharaohs!" The men scolded them and they shut up, only because they wanted to see where this charade was going.
"You may enter." A girl was standing in front of two large doors. She, much like everyone else, was dressed in yellow and gray and frowned when she spoke. She moved away from the doors and they seemed to open on their own. She followed them inside.
When they fully opened, Marik growled at the sight of both Yami and Yugi, dressed in ancient Egyptian robes and gold. Yami, with his golden crown, eye and all. And Yugi with a gold-colored teddy bear in his arms that had a red ribbon on it. Bearing the words 'I'm King of the World'.
"MARIK? MALIK?" Yami stood up, gaping.
Yugi blinked, "I can't believe it!"
"What the hell is all of this?" Marik shouted, shaking his fist at everything that surrounded them.
"I think it's their new palace." Malik informed him.
"…" He blinked, "Sometimes, I can't believe you."
Yami sat back down, smirking at the young lady who had followed them into the throne room, "Heh. Well, well… Heidi, I'm guessing that threat I gave you really put your work ethic into over drive. I never expected to find the rods this quickly."
She beamed over at him, "T-Thank you, my Pharaoh!"
He starred seriously at her, "But your hands are still in danger if we don't get those rings!"
"Meep!"
"Hey! Answer me, Yami!" Marik growled, "Why are you and your hikari ruling the world? You're supposed to be sickeningly good! And now you're sitting in a throne having your weirdo Spike Patrollers arrest people for putting squirrels in their pants!"
"I knew something stupid like that would get you." Yugi nodded to himself.
Malik sneered, "And why are you making your slaves wear such… horrible clothes? This is worst than anything we could've done!"
It was then that Marik smacked him.
Yugi hugged his bear, "I'll have you know that I ordered these clothes for them! What, you have a problem with them or something?"
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do!"
"Alright, stop!" Yami yelled. When the two scowled at each other and turned the other way, Yami motioned to his guards and the men went over to Marik and Malik and tackled them, brutally. After the small fight was over the spike-heads emerged, scuffled and bloody. But. They did get what their Pharaoh wanted.
They held up the millennium rods that had been wrestled from the boys' back pockets.
"Ah, hey!" Malik whined, "Give it back, that's mine!"
Marik sat up on the floor and shouted, "Yami! What are you doing?"
"Heh heh. Sorry, Marik, but I can't take any chances. Unlike you two, we plan to make no mistakes."
"Mistakes? I'll show you a mistake! Come over here so I can-"
His mouth was quickly covered by a nearby guard and they were both retained yet again. Over in the corner, Heidi asked if Yami and Yugi would like it if the boys were placed in separate cells.
"… No." Yami answered, playing with a tassel on his boot. "We can't take that chance. They might get out… Correction, I know they'll get out. And I don't want them so close to me anyway. Their loserness might rub off."
Marik blew a raspberry.
Just then,a light bulb went off in Yugi's mind, "I got it! Hey, Yami, why don't we send them to Happy Chicken in Cairo? Then, they'd be far away. And they might not live out the month, if I remember the kind of man that's in charge there."
Yami grinned, "There's an idea!"
"Fine! But just give us our rods back!"
"Nope. Heidi, arrange a flight Cairo for these two. Immediately. The transfer papers will be sent to Happy Chicken by me, personally."
"Yes, my Pharaohs." She bowed and walked, briskly out of the room. The guards and Marik and Malik following, screaming and shouting.