1.) Too long.
2.) Confusing and not good.
But I wanna use them so bad! So, either I'll have to pick and choose or I wing it and hope you all won't hate me. Decisions…
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 5:
They had spent about ten minutes, driving along the sandy ground, their shadows cast on the floor as they sped by. In the first minute or so, Cody had showed the boys his special stash of red wine that he hid under the back seat. During the first five minutes, he consumed about three bottles and by now was swerving the car from side to side and laughing uncontrollably.
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ooh, boy, that's a good one! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I bet this one is a riot at parties, am I right? Right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Malik blinked and whispered to his yami, "Um… All I did was sneeze…"
"Pay no attention to him, he's a wino." Marik rolled his eyes, "… Hey, wait a minute. I thought the Happy Chicken location was a secret!"
"Ah yup yup!" Cody nodded.
"Well, that woman… Eh, Heidi, said we were supposed to be blindfolded."
After taking another swig of the wine and throwing it over the side of the car door, he grinned and wagged his finger in Marik's face, "Heh heh…! I know, I know, but I'm gonna let you look. I won't tell if you won't!"
"Cool."
"But are you allowed to do that?" Malik asked, not wanting Cody to get into trouble.
"Nope! But I'm a rebel! No one at Happy Chicken is as dare devilish as me!" He hiccupped and nodded solemnly, "Why, just last week, I ran over a camel! And I didn't stop to say sorry, either. Ah ha ha ha ha!"
"Yeah… Hey, Cody, do you want me to drive? No offense or anything, but you're a drunken sot and you'll get us killed." Marik informed him.
"Marik!"
"Oh, shut up, you know it's true."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Ah ha! Heres we are! Yup yup!" Cody yelled, bringing the jeep to a slow halt and both boys looked forward, their jaws dropping when they laid eyes on the large building in front of them.
It seemed about ten stories high, but it might've been more. The glare from the sun almost blinded them as they looked at the metal the building was made of. On the structure was approximately thirty windows, each was fortified with bars of steal. Two large doors were stationed at the front, guarded by two burly looking men. Surrounding the back was a fifty-foot brick gate that was lined with barbed wire. And on the roof was a huge white and red sign with a chicken's head on it and the words in lights, saying, 'Happy Chicken'.
Malik blinked, "… This? This is supposed to be a secret?"
"Look at the size of this thing! How're people not supposed to find out about something like this?" Marik hopped out of the backseat and took a few steps close to the large building. But before he was even five feet closer to it, his feet were shot at about ten times within the second and he scrambled back into the jeep.
"For crap's sake!" They exclaimed, hiding under the car seats.
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Cody had a hardy laugh at their expense and staggered towards the building, "You two's a riot and a half!"
"Cody? That you?" One of the burly men looked at the drunk older fellow and saluted, smiling, "We didn't think you'd be back till sundown, the way you take care of business. You got the new transfers?"
"Oh, yup! C'mon, you two! Can't waste time now can we? Ah ha ha ha!" The doors were opened for Cody and as he walked through, he threw his half empty wine bottle to one of the gaurds and asked him to hold it until he came back.
He waved back for Marik and Malik to follow. But, of course, they were afraid they might be shot at. So, just for a test, Marik threw Malik out of the car and towards the building. When his hikari emerged unshot, Marik stepped out and they followed Cody into the heart of the structure.
It was dark in there, but only in the places where the lights weren't working. And the floor was littered with feathers. Walking past them were other gaurds, escorting groups of people in odd uniforms. Whole bodysuits with black and green polka dots.
"Oh, Ra!" Malik gasped, "L-Look at these clothes! It's… Gah, it's awful! Oh, the horror!"
"Get off of me!" Marik shouted after Malik jumped on his back to get away from a uniformed group of men. He turned back to Cody who led them down a corridor and past a few more security guards. "Hey, where are we going?"
"Every new transfer has ta meet with the warden! He lays down the rules and regulations!"
"Um… okay. So, who is this warden guy anyway?"
"Well, his real name is unknown to everyone here, and he refuses to tell us. Says it's weird and embarrassing. So, he accepts being called Happy Chicken Man."
"…" Marik and Malik looked at each other, "Happy… Chicken Man?"
"Yup yup!"
"… Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" It took a little while for Cody to calm the two down to where they could breathe again, but after that, they fell back into another laughing spell.
They met their destination in less than a minute. When they arrived, Cody knocked on a regular sized door with the engraving 'H.C.M.' on it. A husky voice on the other side ordered them to come in and that's what they did.
As they stepped in, Marik and Malik saw that this was apparently the warden's office. And although this was the head guy's room, the windows still had the steal bars on them. Inside was a lone desk and a large chair, facing the other way.
"Sir! I'm back with the new transfers! Marik and Patty."
"I'm not a Patty!"
"Oops! Heh heh. Meant Malik. Yup yup. Marik and Malik Ishtar, just like Pharaoh Yami said." Cody smiled.
The large chair turned slowly and revealed a rather heavyset man in a business suit. He was balding and pasty with a scar across his nose that was all too noticeable. "Very good, Cody. You may wait outside until I'm through with these two hooligans."
"Hooligans?" They echoed.
"Gotcha. See you twos in a minute!" Cody waved and slammed the door behind himself.
"Now, listen here-"
"No, you listen." Marik scowled, "The only reason I allowed that weirdo out there to drag us this far was so I could find out who was in charge of this… thing! This is insane and if you don't let us do back to Domino this second, I'm gonna-"
A stun gun made itself known by shocking Marik's torso and giving him a few thousand bolts of pure electricity. He fell to the floor, flopping around like a fish out of water.
"… Smooth." Malik commented, watching his yami writhe in pain and agony.
"As I was saying." The man continued, pocketing the stun gun and turning, calmly, towards Malik, "This is Happy Chicken. And here, we take order very seriously. Pharaoh Yami has informed us about you two and your past escapades. Take extreme care, for these two will try anything and everything to get out. Those were his exact words. And I do not intend to let my Pharaoh down."
"Yap yap yap, that's all I'm hearing." Marik said from the floor, "Why are we here?"
"This facility is Pharaoh Yami's brain child. When he was forming his and Pharaoh Yugi's new world order, they we deciding where to get their needed resources…
Flashback:
Inside the Inner City, Yami and Yugi were bantering back and forth about things that must be decided before they could have complete control over what they desired… the world. They held court with five of their most trusted underlings in the castle's great hall.
"Alright, so it's decided." Yugi nodded to himself looking down at the long list of items they had to cover, "Australia will be used as the world's waste dump. We'll have all the garbage moved there immediately. Next order of business-"
"W-Wait a minute!" The general stood from her seat beside Yami. She had been quiet for the entire meeting but she could not hold her tongue any longer, "You can't just dump everything filthy in the world on Australia! That's horrible!"
Yugi sent her an agitated glance, "Heidi, I'm aware that you have strong feelings for this country, but we're trying to solve the contamination problem. We have to sacrifice something."
"But a whole country? For crap's sake, that's my home!"
"General Heidi!" Yami snapped at her, "If you do not wish to be demoted, you will shut your trap until we come to you."
She winced, but sat down and lowered her head, "… Forgive me, my Pharaoh. It was not my place."
Yugi nodded, continuing, "Anyway. Next is the fast food ordeal. I think we have too much. McDonalds this and Burger King that… Taco Bell and Pizza Hut… There's too much! We need to choose one food and stick with it."
"Agreed. I say we go with chicken."
Everyone in the room looked their Pharaoh and blinked, "… Chicken?"
"Yes." Yami tapped his finger on his knee, "Does anyone have a problem with that?"
Immediately all the heads in the room went from side to side.
"But, Yami… Why chicken?"
"I likes my chicken." He answered simply, resulting in a sweatdrop from his hikari. Yami turned to the man sitting on Yugi's other side and addressed him, "Admiral Flyswatter. Can you handle this new assignment?"
"Huh! Ah…" He hurriedly put away the dirty magazine he was reading under the table. "Assignment? Right! Pharaoh Yami, I will do your bidding, whatever that may be."
Heidi glared at him, mumbling, "Suck up."
"Good man." Yugi crossed this topic off the list, "Admiral Flyswatter, you have, as of now, been demoted to warden of the new worldwide establishment, Happy Chicken. You will set to work on this straight away."
"… Wha…? Demoted! M-My Pharaoh, wait!"
End Flashback.
"I spent the rest of the hour trying to convince those idiotic spikes that I didn't want this damned position! But did they listen to me? NO! They spent the rest of the day gelling their hair!"
By this time, the shock from the stun gun had worn off and Marik was leaning on the side of the desk, rubbing the back of his neck, "Ah… Okay. So, this is a chicken restaurant?"
"No." He took in a deep breath, "This is the world's largest supplier of chicken and chicken byproducts. This also serves as punishment for those who are not loyal to our Pharaohs… I.e. you."
"But we didn't do anything!" Malik protested, "It was that damn Spike Patrol that dragged us in and then Yami and Yugi took away our rods!"
"Ah, yes, they informed me that you were the ex-holders of the millennium rods. Impressive that you managed to hold onto them for so long. But here is not the place for praise. You will be expected to work like everyone else. And here…" Happy Chicken Man fumbled around in the drawer of his desk and fished out two black and green striped uniforms. He threw them to the boys, "These will be your clothes. You must wash them yourselves if you even want to. We have a mud puddle out back that you can use."
Malik was beginning to hyperventilate.
Marik rolled his eyes, catching his hikari before he fell to the ground, "Yeah, he's kind of sensitive when it comes to cleanliness and… girl stuff."
"Hmm. Well, there are no girls here. Oddly enough, no women ever step out of line…. CODY!"
"Yeah, boss?" Cody's head popped in.
"Take these two to their cells and await the next chicken dumping." He ordered and sat back in his chair, facing toward the barred window.
"Yes, sir!" He motioned for the two to follow him and Cody shut the door as they left.