So, that's why this chapter wasn't out when it should've been.
… Well, excuse me for having a life! Jeez! … Oh, I'm so sorry…!
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 7:
"Yami! You idiot, come down here and let me out! You're out of your mind!"
In the bottom of the large palace in the Inner City lay the cells. These were reserved for people who hadn't really done any wrong, but were in the wrong place at the wrong time or just people that the Pharaohs' didn't like. Either way, they were trapped down there, forbidden to see the light of day.
On moonbeams stayed down into the dingy prisons from the bars that were positioned at the top of the cell, ground level with the rest of the world. Down there, it wasn't as nearly populated as when two other blondes were ruling over the earth. About ten people, tops, but the person who was making the most noise could've been counted as twenty.
"YAMI!" Kaiba called out through the bars he was shaking. "Damn you!"
"Seto, calm down." A small voice sighed slightly in annoyance at his older brother who was making a nuisance of himself.
Kaiba growled, sliding down to the floor, "Mokuba, this is ridiculous! We've been in here for twelve days! I can't take it anymore!"
Mokuba blinked, then turned back to his knitting, "I'm sure we'll get out soon, big brother. You might want to take a tranquilizer or something. Screaming wont really do anything, ya know."
"I can't take this!" He howled, "I won't take this! Someone call my lawyer! I'm suing the leather pants off those spiky-headed freaks!"
"Seto-"
"And stop being so calm, Mokuba! Yell, shout, do something! I don't want you knitting, either!" The brunette leaned over quickly and took the knitting needles and yarn away from his baby brother, who pouted in return, "And don't give me those eyes. You're a Kaiba, you're supposed to be in command of the situation at all times. You're not supposed to panic!"
"… I'm not panicking, Seto, you are."
"…" He blinked, "I don't want to be a Kaiba anymore!"
Mokuba rolled his eyes and patted his brother on the back, soothingly, "There there, Seto. It's going to be okay."
"I HATE EVERYONE!" Kaiba yelled between sobs.
"I know you do. Here you go." The young boy held up his needles and a ball of yellow yarn, "Help me make a scarf, 'kay?"
"… A-Alright…"
"Knit one, pearl two…"
Back at Happy Chicken, the chicken dumping took about five hours total. The inmates got through it like true chicken-killing troopers, but Marik and Malik weren't as efficient in the art of decapitating animals. Marik kept getting attacked by them and Malik kind of stayed in a corner, shivering. That is, until a chicken came by and jumped on his head, thereby ruining his hairdo. He then went buck wild on all the birds in sight and ended up killing, in total, 2,301 chickens.
"Did you see me, Marik? I was like boom and boom! Then that big chicken came over and I was like BOOM!" Malik was hopping around his darker half, giddy as a teenage girl with concert tickets.
"Yes, Malik, I saw you… for the umpteenth time!" He yelled, obviously annoyed.
Hott Dawg was on the opposite side of the boys and he was blinking, a bit confused at the young hikari's enthusiasm, "Yo, man, he okay?"
"He's fine." Marik said, glancing at Malik who was making explosion noises and floating around random guys, "… He's just stupid as hell."
The men were waiting in the hallway for about five minutes before Cody came out of the compound and stood in front of the group of men. He smiled at Marik and Malik first before calling out, "Okays you bunches of people! Time to eat, ah, yup yup. If I was yas, I'd hurry up in the Mess Hall afore the foods gets cold!"
Immediately, the inmates began to migrate down the hallway towards the supposed Mess Hall.
As they went walking and Malik continued to behave childishly, Marik asked Ron, the closest to him, "Um… Just what is it that you eat here? I'm actually surprised that they even feed us, here."
"Oh ha ha ha!" He held his stomach while he laughed, "Yah, man, I know what ya mean. But, of course, they feed us. Not by choice, y'know, but they need a way to get rid of all the chicken heads that are on the ground after every dumping."
"… Huh?"
"Ooh, here we are! C'mon, Rod Man, I'm starving!"
They all entered two blue double doors at the same time, some people trying to trample over others to get in line first. The Mess Hall, itself, was pretty large but not clean-looking at all. Rats came from under the tables in the center of the room, running towards the exit. Some didn't even make it that far, seeing as how some of the prisoners were picking them up and stuffing them in the pockets of their uniforms, a snack for later.
Hott Dawg pulled his new friends into the line behind him before they got trampled as well. They got their trays and when they came to the lady in the hairnet, she dumped two heaping piles of bloody chicken heads on their trays, the eyes starring up at the blondes.
"Oh Ra…!" Malik held his mouth, to keep himself from barfing.
Marik winced, "That's foul."
"D-Don't you have anything less… nasty?"
The burly woman shook her head and scooted them along the line. The only other thing they got on their plates was a week-old orange that was starting to grow fur.
They sat down at a table that Hott Dawg and his crew had been occupying for the last two weeks, ever since they came to Happy Chicken.
"Oh, wow, you've been at Happy Chicken that long?" Malik asked, amazed at how anyone could stand it.
Hott Dawg nodded, "Eva since da Pharaohs been in powa. Wes was livin in da Inna City and there was a raid. Da only person I really knew was Twirls and he was da paper boy. But he got taken, too."
Twirls sighed, fingering his chicken head, "It's just so unfair. Just because they have some stupid puzzle around their necks, doesn't mean they should be aloud to rule over us like this…"
They nodded solemnly, but just then Ron spoke up, "Ooh, you know what I heard, yesterday, though? Seems that Yami's been havin a bit of trouble finding the ring holders. Says they're somewhere in Egypt, but no one knows where."
"Ryou?"
"Bakura?"
Marik and Malik looked at each other and smiled, "They could be right around here! We've gotta get out of here and find them."
"Rod Man, I hate ta be da bearer of bad news, but ain't no gettin outta here. Thought I tol you dat? Naw, man, dere be guards everywhere! Da front is completely covered."
Malik blinked, "Well… what about the compound?"
"Huh?"
"Couldn't we go out that way?"
"Two words, Lick, and dey be 'barbed' and 'wire'. Dat ting hurts, man." Hott Dawg motioned to the bullet hole in his arm that they saw earlier, "An on da other side be more guards. You'd have ta run real fast to get by all dem. Dey like snipers."
Marik's hikari sighed, and lay his head down eye-level with the chicken head on his plate, "Marik, we can't just stay here…! We've gotta get out before Yami does something that we can't correct even if we take the millennium puzzles!"
"I know… Ugh, I'll think of something."
Hott Dawg patted Malik on the back, rather forcefully, "Dun worry, lil' Lick, it's not so bad. Wes gets a movie night! Twirls, here, is gonna try an get a date for da next un."
Twirls grinned and winked at Malik.
"…"
Halfway around the world in London, General Heidi was watching her men erect yet another of Pharaoh Yami's peeing statues. They were very large and so you can imagine how much water it took for Yami to keep peeing so that all of London could admire his urinary tract.
"Ah…" She sighed. This will be the second one today and she still had about twenty-eight more major cities to visit. How she was going to complete this task before the next full moon was beyond her, "There's just no way…"
Ring Ring Ring!
Heidi blinked and fumbled with the ringing cell phone in her pocket, "H-Hello?" She stuttered, hoping with everything she had that it wasn't Pharaoh Yami or Yugi.
"Ah, hey there, Heidikins! How's ya?"
"Oh… Cody." The general sighed, halfway relieved and halfway annoyed that he would disturb her when she was on an important mission. "What is it that you want? And don't ever call me Heidikins again."
"Aye, aye, general!" He laughed, a bit of mock in his voice, "I was just callin ya to see if maybe you wanted to go to Happy Chicken's movie night with me, eh eh? I'm a good date, yeah! Buy ya a corsage and everything!"
"… No."
"Aw, come on! You're single, yup yup?"
"Ah… yup… But, you see, I'm not interested in going out with someone old enough to be my dad."
Cody frowned, but smiled once again, "Dad, eh? Yeah, yeah! I'll be ya suga daddy! But ya gotta come with me."
"Ugh…" Heidi held the phone away from her ear. Cody did this every so often. Call her up and ask her out to something absolutely ridiculous. Something that she'd never go to in a million years. And the only way to get him to hang up would be to be so terribly cruel to him that he got depressed and hung up. But he'd be back on his feet in less than a day and ready to have another go at it.
"Listen, Cody-"
"C'mon, everyone's gonna try and get a date this time! I heard one of the boys in Block 2 is gone after Patty…. Err, Malik!"
"…Malik?"
"You know, Marik and Malik? They two that the Pharaohs hate?"
"Yeah, I know. Ah, how are they, anyway?" She seemed semi-interested, seeing as how she had caused the boys an estimated amount of pain. "They are okay, right?"
"Ah, yup yup! S'ya wanna go with me? Eh eh?"
"… Ooh! NO!" Heidi slammed the top of the phone down and growled, finally screaming and scarring half the workers into hiding under the large, peeing statue.
In the Outer City of Domino, among all the Spike Patrollers running around and the squirrels terrorizing people, Marik and Malik's house stood in the middle of it all. Inside, lay three guys who had partied hardy for the past 26 hours. They were now in a weird afterglow.
"Aw, man…!" Joey fell backwards onto the couch. "I don't know where you got all that… alcohol, Tristan, but… that felt good."
Otogi looked over at the boy laying down on the sofa, "You know, Joey… I think you could've won that ice-skating competition… Y-You're legs looked so well formed… And the hair on them is arranged so nicely…" He hiccupped.
Tristan blinked, along with Joey who was getting a little freaked out. "Ah… Yeah… Otogi, no more for you, kay?"
"Thank you, milk man!" He howled, rolling over.
"… Uh huh."
"Alright, everybody up!" Suddenly, three men busted in through the front door. They wore blonde, red and black spiked wigs atop their heads and had gray and yellow uniforms on. Joey and Tristan recognized them immediately, except for Otogi who was in his own little world.
"Peek-a-boo!" The raven haired teen yelled at the guards.
"… Riiight. Well, you're all under arrest, by order of our Pharaohs!"
"What! No way!" Tristan tried to run away, but he tripped over Joey who was on the floor, crawling away. "Ouch. Damn you, Joey!"
"Not my fault…!" He whined as one of the Spike Patrollers came over and picked him up without much resistance.
Another man held Tristan hostage as well and as they dragged both boys out the front door, Tristan noticed two green eyes peeking out from under the couch. He slapped his forehead and waved his arms, signaling, he hoped, for Otogi to do something productive.
The door shut behind them and Otogi was left in the house alone.
"… I wish I had some feet."