Oh the angst. I would warn you about this chapter, but I don't feel like it. Read at your own risk.

I also disclaim. Harry Potter belongs to... whoever... and the Death Cab song belongs to Death Cab for Cutie. Mmhmm.

Cause I built you a home in my heart,
With rotten wood, it decayed from the start.
Cause you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
Remus opened his eyes, but then closed them again.

Not again.

It was a Saturday.

But it was the full moon.

At least James and Peter would be there. Peter was going voluntarily, and James had agreed after Lily bullied him into it. But she called it "persuasion". Remus had never seen anyone persuade with rabid dogs.

Lazily he reached for his clock, picking it up and peering at the blaring red letters. It was nearly one- he had completely missed breakfast, and lunch was going to be over in ten minutes. But on full moon days, Remus didn't care about being punctual. He used full moon days to stay in bed and mope.

Today was definitely not going to be any different.

Remus dropped his clock on the floor and turned over in his bed, pulling the covers tight around his ears. He knew the dormitory would be empty- Sirius was leaping out of bed and out of class lately. They had had another fight just the day before.

"You are so pathetic!"

Sirius had been angrier than ever. He didn't even look slightly sad, like that day with Bellatrix in the library. He was bright red with his fury, and Remus knew it was only his promise to Dumbledore that he had made in the third year that kept Sirius from spilling the werewolf secret.

"You think you can fix this?"

Remus wanted to stay in this bed for the rest of forever. He wanted to wrap himself up in the comforter like a cocoon and never have to move again. Never have to go through a full moon, never have to seen Sirius snogging girls in the corridors, never have to see the D's and P's on his papers again.

"You can't."

If anything, being around Lily was nearly as bad. She was trying desperately to keep his spirits up, but she just reminded him of how he was acting. No wonder Sirius hated him.

"There is nothing to fix!"

Frustration boiled up inside of his chest. Without knowing it or even hearing himself, Remus let out a loud groan, digging his nails into his fists. The sharp pang woke him up, kept him from feeling like he was going to die with the terribleness of his situation.

"There never was anything between us."

Remus bit madly at his own knuckles. It was only a few moments before they were bleeding, his especially sharp canines drenched in his own blood. Gingerly he touched one of his raw hands, drawing the blood into an 'S' shape.

"I was kidding myself thinking I actually liked you."

He didn't move again for a long time. It was only when Peter came up to check on him around three that he realized how long he had been lying there, motionlessly. He told Peter that he was just tired, but that he'd be down in a moment.

"How could anyone like you?"

Only after Remus had washed away the blood, admired the new pink scars, and then carefully hid them with an easy charm did he really attempt to get dressed. It was harder then it looked. Every piece of clothing he owned seemed to remind him of Sirius. His scent, as faded as it was, was still intoxicating.

"You disgust me."

Remus was blindly aware of playing a few thousand games of wizard chess with Peter. In the back of his head, the full moon was looming over him already. His heart was throbbing, his eyes prickling every moment. It was good that Peter wasn't observant.

"Don't bother talking to me, Remus."

Remus licked his dry lips. Madam Pompfrey had dropped him off at the Whomping Willow, and then hurried off. He sat down in the middle of the floor, resting his head in the dust, waiting for James and Peter to arrive.

"You aren't worth it."

He wondered if it would have ended up this way if he had accepted Sirius right off the bat, instead of fending him off for a few weeks. He should have been brave, he could have still been friends, he would be with the other Marauders right now.

"You never were.

I hate you.

Soon you'll know how much."

Remus didn't even wonder what Sirius meant. It couldn't make the situation any worse, could it?

Could it?

Dude, I wrote this in like, ten minutes. Sorry if it totally sucks.