Doesn't it seem like it's been way too long to wait? I was dying everyday that this damned chapter didn't get out.
:sigh:
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 16:
As the structure rose higher from under the ground, sand fell through the crevices like a golden waterfall. The ground shook and the boys that were standing in front of it cringed and their eyes were wide in question. Cody simply grinned up at the light-brown building that was about ten feet out of the ground, sloped slightly and going into the sand. A large and black doorway was in the middle of it, leading down to where neither Marik nor Malik knew.
They both looked at Cody when the ground stopped shaking and everything seemed peaceful once again.
"… Um, what is this?"
"He he he! Follow mes, please!" He grinned and marched into the darkness which was followed by stairs. The boys looked at each other for a spilt second before following down, themselves.
It seemed like forever before they finally reached the end. The stairs kept coming until Malik thought it would be easier to just roll down, rather than walk. After the close to five hundred steps, they stepped onto flat tile and looked around as lights flickered and came on. The entire place was lit up by the bare bulbs hiding in the rafters and the people who were walking around the large room and in and out of hallways and doors stopped in their tracks and looked over at the three boys. Two with their jaws unhinged and the other, older one, rocking back and forth on his toes.
"…" Marik blinked, "Okay… This is a… what, now?"
A light bulb went off in Malik's head, "Hey! I got it, this is one of those underground hideouts for gypsies! I saw something like this in a Disney movie, once."
"Oh, for Ra's sake! Malik, do you see any gypsies?"
"… Uh… There's one!"
"That's CODY, you idiot!"
"… Oh."
"Grr…"
"Ey, yous two! You comin or what?" Cody called to them, already twenty feet down into the center of the room. As the boys wandered to him, they looked around, seeing questioning glances on everyone's faces, most of the women were blushing and whispering behind their hands, if only because Malik was naked. The people looked quite at home there, and the place was huge. It looked like a small town, they had houses and shops and the only difference was, that instead of having the sun to light up their day, it was florescent lighting.
After a moment of people watching, Malik tapped Cody's shoulder, "Um, Cody, what exactly is this place?"
"This is BAYAMS! This is kinda like a refuge for peeps that don't like da Pharaohs! Which is really everyone, heh heh, but not a lot of people know bout it!"
They looked at each other, "BAYAMS?"
"Ah, yup yup."
Marik rolled his eyes, "And just what is 'BAYAMS' supposed to mean?"
"It stands for Bandits Against Yami And Meat Shop."
"…" After blinking, Marik turned to Malik, "Tell me he did not just say 'And Meat Shop'."
"Uh…"
Cody grinned and patted Marik on the back, "Now now, don't get all confuzzled! BAYAMS has the world's best Meat Shop! It's got rare meat that's so good, ya think ya went ta heaven! And it's got great barbecue sauce, too! The ingredients are a delicacy in some countries… And a vaccine in others. Ha ha!"
"Aha."
Malik whispered in his yami's ear, "I still don't get it."
"Neither do I, just smile and nod."
As the two continued to question all of this, Cody walked a few steps on before speaking to a man about one thing or another. He nodded happily all of a sudden and the man went into a building, coming out less than a moment later with two people by his side.
"Ey, Marik! Patty!" Cody called.
They turned around, Malik red in the face and yelling at the man, "My name isn't Pat… AAHHH! RYOU!"
There, beside another man, stood two boys, one with light pink hair and another with silver. Both dressed in a black t-shirt baring the words 'BAYAMS or Bust,' and jeans. Ryou cocked his head to the side and squealed loudly, causing everyone to, once again, turn around from their business and look at what was going on.
Both hikaris went screaming and running to each other from the distance of about ten feet. When they met in the middle, each was nearly choked by a bone-crushing hug from the other. Malik and Ryou went babbling to each other at once, and the only reasonable things that could be made out from a distance was 'I missed you so much,' and 'I was so, uber lonely without you,'.
Meanwhile, Marik and Bakura had been watching their lights make a spectacle of themselves and sweatdropped in unison. And of course, it only took them a second and a half to notice each other.
They coughed, nervously and shuffled their feet back and forth across the dusty ground, occasionally looking up and then back down. Finally, after much hesitation and starring from spectators, they were about a foot away from each other, face to face.
Marik scratched the back of his head, "Um… H-Hi, Bakura…"
"Oh… Hi, uh, Marik…" Bakura mumbled, tugging on the hem of his shirt, "How… have you been…?"
"F-Fine."
Another minute of silence before they both fell into each other's arms, sobbing and crying.
"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA!"
"IT'S BEEN LIKE HELL WITHOUT YOU! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME, YOU JERK!"
"THERE'S NO PHONE IN THIS PLACE, YOU IDIOT!"
"… I… I'm so sorry…!" Both boys sobbed into each other's hair, making the scene all the more embarrassing for their hikaris.
"Gosh…" Ryou blinked, still holding on his friend, "What babies. It's only been, like what, two weeks?"
"Yeah. That just shows you some people have no inner strength."
Ryou nodded and then sweatdropped, noticing that they were still holding onto each other, "Uh, but then, what does that make us?"
"… Some people."
"Oh well, I'm so glad you're here! It really has been dreadful without you, you know. I've had no one to give me fashion advice or go to the beach and watch old men pee in the ocean… All I've done is hang out down here and watch Bakura scratch himself all day!" He smiled cheerfully.
Malik blinked, "Well, I can't say it's been great not having you around, Ryou." He leaned in and whispered, "Marik's been a little crabby lately…"
"Stop talking about me…!"
"Oh, dear." Ryou looked a bit sympathetic for a second before his eyes wandered downwards and he blinked, starring, "Malik, you're... naked." He whispered the last word like it was a sin to say it out loud.
"… Oh, yeah."
The hikaris turned around and looked to their left and saw Bakura starring and giggling like a schoolgirl and turning red, and then there was Marik who was growling and turning away in shame.
"He he he he!" Cody ruffled Malik's hair, laughing at the boy's misery and woe, "C'mon, then! We'd better get you two some decent clothes!"
Marik and Malik twisted their mouths and hesitated to go anywhere without their friends, but they were pulled along by Cody and the man he was speaking with about Ryou and Bakura. They waved and followed Cody down the street and into a rather large house with tassels and fancy looking fixtures.
Going up stairs, Marik had both hands behind his head in a relaxed position, "So, Cody, how'd you find out about this place? And whose this guy who's following us?" He motioned towards the young man in a lose white shirt and a red rose in his hair who was smoothly walking behind them.
"Oh! Ahem, pardon my rudeness." He cleared his throat and smiled, "My name is Terry. I'm the runner of BAYAMS. And Cody, here, is our assistant manager!"
Cody beamed.
"Jeez." Malik blinked, "You're assistant manager everywhere. That's what I call connections!"
"Oh, yes." Terry wrapped an arm around Cody, "He was our guy on the inside of Yami and Yugi's Happy Chicken project. He's great undercover, you'd never suspect sweet ol' Cody of being a mole!"
"Never." Both boys raised their eyebrows.
"Aw, stop it, ya spoilin me! Heh heh! Welpies, let's get these two into some clothes. We gotta get ya ready for when we tell all of BAYAMS that you're here! They're gonna have a fit and a half when they find out we gots our hands on the famous Marik and Malik!"
"… Famous?" Malik asked, pointing to himself and his yami, "Us?"
Marik rolled his eyes, "Well, duh. Don't ya know, Malik? Everyone knows and loves the Marik. Everyone and everything else is irrelevant when I'm around!"
"He said Marik AND Malik!" He turned around, pouting, "… Dummy…"
"Alright, men! Pharaoh Yami's orders were clear as a jellyfish's skeleton! We go down to the basement bathroom stalls and get the information! Ready?"
On the main floor of the Happy Chicken facility, Happy Chicken Man had five Spike Patrollers standing at attention in front of him as he gave out orders. He had a pretty hard time assembling some privates to go with him. Everyone was so afraid that something in the bathroom would try to get them that they refused to leave the hiding place under their bunks.
"Yes sir!" The men saluted.
"Let's go, then!" Happy Chicken Man pumped his chunky fist into the air and ran off into the direction of the basement. The men followed in a line and, in less than ten minutes, they arrived at the door that said 'Bathroom!' and then was spray painted to say 'Yummy Bathroom!'.
"Okay… And… GO!" One of the privates slammed the door open with his rifle and everyone ran inside as if someone were chasing them. Once they were in the main room and were sure there was nothing in there that could kill them, Happy Chicken Man made an announcement.
He stood before the five of them and said, "I want each one of you to go into a different stall. On my mark, open them and see what's on the other side of the door. Now!"
"Yes, sir!" In less than a second, they were all in the stalls, diligently reading the gossips and disgusting lies, searching for any information on the whereabouts of Marik and Malik or the millennium rings.
Happy Chicken Man tapped his foot on the dirty tile floor, "… Well? Number 1, what have you found out?"
"Hmm. Well, sir, it seems that someone is in the market for an assistant to help with his corn filings… And it says here that 'Neil sucks (bleep)'."
"Grr… Number 2, what about your findings?"
There was a pause, "Um, let's see… Ooh. It says here 'For a good time, call Marik Ishtar'. And then there's a number, here… Maybe that's something useful, sir?"
"How is that use-" He was interrupted by the rest of the Patrollers who left their places and went running into stall number two, to see the number and perhaps scribble it down, "Hey! Dammit, get back to your stalls, you bunch of freaks… Jeez. Number 3, anything to report?"
"Ah… Well, here we have some kind of map… With a star somewhere in the desert and by it, it says… Ryou? And Bakura? Something like that. Anyway, does this mean something?"
"Mean something? Of course it does!" He hopped up and grinned, "Do you know what this means? My job and butt are saved! Oh, Number 3, I could just kiss you!"
He cowered in the corner, "P-Please, don't, I'm married!"
"… Oh, hush up. Come on you pantywaists, I want that map copied down so we can go find those rings!"
"Yes, sir!"
Suddenly, out of the door leading to the hallway, three men covered in bandages and arm and leg casts came busting in and scowling at the fat man who starred blankly at them.
"Who the hell are you?" Happy Chicken Man cocked his head, "Aren't you the boys from Block 2? What the hell are you doing out?"
The biggest of the three men stepped forward, "Da name's Hott Dawg! And you betta get out da way afore things get ugly."
"Ha! Do you even know who you're talking to? Why don't you get out of the way so we can go about our business?" He turned back to the men, "Get that stall door out of here."
Hott Dawg turned to Twirls and Corn and pointed to the stall door that the men were trying to haul away, "Hurry and grab dat!"
They nodded and jumped on the men, trying to wrestle them, but it was really hard seeing as how they both had two black eyes and could barely see. They ended up fighting each other and Hott Dawg growled in frustration. "Dey be over THERE, you idiots!"
Twirls blinked and finally tackled the right people and as Corn joined him, Hott Dawg took the door and dragged it off. He called for assistance and when the Spike Patrollers were moaning about their 'owies', all three slipped out with the door.
"W-What we s'posed to do wit dis, huh?" Corn asked, panting.
Hott Dawg shrugged, "Hide it, throw it away, whaeva we gotta to keep Happy Chicken Man away from it! We gotta give Rod Man and Lick any time we can give em to get dose rings!"