And I have a small request. You know all you shadow readers out there who don't review? I want you to! As a birthday gift, yes? Tee hee! See ya.
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 18:
Bakura was right when he said that they were like celebrities. And although Marik and Malik knew this before they found out on their own, it was something they really weren't expecting. Not this way, anyways. Every time that Marik or Malik wanted even the littlest thing, it was brought to them on a large, silver platter. Even when Malik requested a really pretty marble to chew on. (Don't ask). For their small stay in BAYAMS, Marik and Malik resided in Terry's large home along with Ryou and Bakura and Cody, who mostly kept to himself or sang about his love for Heidi. And the boys were never asked to lift a finger anywhere. If there was cleaning and dusting to be done, either Terry or one of the maids, if available, would help out. All four of them were, indeed, treated as earthbound Gods. And they were living the life of luxury.
Though, at first, Malik was a bit resistant to his new treatment. He wasn't all that used to being waited on hand and foot like his yami was. And that was only because Malik did the handing and the footing when it came to Marik. Truth be told, the boys weren't even allowed to go to the bathroom by themselves. No, Terry was deathly afraid that one of them would slip on a bar of soap, hit his head on the side of the tub and die from blood loss. Which almost happened to Bakura once, but I digress… The people of BAYAMS had been almost too good to them. They literally forgot all else when they had nothing to worry about. Everything felt like a candy coated dream. And during this sweet dream, four days passed.
And during those four days, Heidi was baring an unbelievable amount of pain. She was now on her second hand as far as the slashing was concerned. In total, five of her fingers were missing and on in the morning on the sixth day, she almost couldn't breath. This came from the exhaustion and pressure that was put on her body and the rotting smell coming from her own bloody nubs where there once resided slender, flawless digits. Of course, during those four days most of her hair did grow back and it hung down in her face to hide the tears and grimaces. After the moon was directly above her cell window on the fifth day and the guards entered with a saw in their hands, she gave up on ever seeing next week.
But, of course, not everyone was wasting this precious time. Every one of the Spike Patrollers and the Happy Chicken facility was working to get what Pharaoh Yami desired, just to save Heidi's life. And although she was hanging on by a string, they forgot the odds and did whatever necessary to get them. There biggest obstacle was finding and getting a hold of the map on the back of the stall door that three particular inmates stole.
"Sir, we've checked everywhere." Number 3 reported to the warden in the morning after a long night of endless searching in the compound and the cells, "They weren't anywhere in the Blocks 1 through 16. And the compound was verified clear of anyone as well…"
Happy Chicken Man frowned and turned to the side in his chair, sighing, "…"
"… Warden, sir, we've been thinking… Maybe they might have left the building? We know it's a long shot, but perhaps we can find them if we look out in the desert?"
"No… No, I don't think so. We had a new board of security cameras put into the surrounding area, there's no way they could have gotten around them. They'd have to be in here… You say you've checked everywhere?"
"Yes, sir."
His frown depended and he was silent for a moment before a light bulb flashed over his head and he grinned at the confused private, "Number 3, tell me, if you were an inmate with something you were trying to hide, where would you and that something go?"
"… Uh… I-I don't know sir… T-The circus?"
"No! You'd go to the place no one would ever look! Grab the others and come with me, Number 3!" Happy Chicken Man stood from his seat and waddled out of the office out into the hallway as Number 3 scratched his head and called the other four in his troop on the walkie-talkie. As soon as they were all there, they met up with the warden in front of Block 2. Only two inmates were inside. And they were Corn and Twirls, who had been captured a day ago, but not with Hott Dawg or the door. They were pressured into talking and ratting on him, but no matter what they were put through, they said nothing.
Happy Chicken Man took a key ring out of his pocket and slowly unlocked the cell door. Stepping in, Number 3 and the others looked around. Corn and Twirls looked away from the men in uniform, but Corn's eye was seen twitching.
Number 3 blinked, "In here, sir…? But we've already checked-"
"Aha. You think you've checked. But sometimes you must look a bit closer…" He grinned and sauntered over to the hole over in the corner that was used for bathroom purposes. Flies still buzzed round it and it smelled like puke, but he still smiled as he looked down into it and saw a bald man holding a rather large piece of wood. Two blinking eyes were seen starring right up into Happy Chicken Man's. He grinned, "Why, hello there, prisoner 561. How are you this morning?"
"Oh, no!" Twirls squeaked from behind the men, "He found him!"
Corn put his hands on both sides of his mouth and called out towards the hole, "Yo, Hott Dawg! Make a run fo it, dude!"
"Wha? And just where I'm s'posed to run, Corn? Dis hole be like one foot wide, yo!" Came his annoyed voice from down in the stinky hole.
Corn blinked, "… Den you can't go no wheres."
"Shut up, yo!"
Happy Chicken Man grinned and turned back to Number 3, "Call the Pharaohs. Tell them we have the door secured and will be leaving shortly."
"Yo. I-I mean yes, sir…!"
In the sanctity of the underground base, BAYAMS, the four golden boys of this haven were being pampered in celebrity style once again. After eating breakfast from a table the size of an Olympic pool, they had been laying in a small room getting massages by skinny girls with too much makeup on. But, of course, they didn't mind. Presently, about two hours after their massages, they were waiting in Cody's bedroom. He had sent someone to get them in his room so he could talk to them. At first, they couldn't imagine what it was he wanted to talk about…
"I haven't seen much of Cody, lately, actually…" Ryou mused, leaning back into the armchair he was sitting comfortably in, "I wonder where he could've been."
Marik sighed and examined his nails, "I don't know, but he better be quick about this because I have a manicure in an hour."
Malik rolled his eyes, whispering to Ryou, "And he calls me girly…"
"I heard that."
Ignoring his yami's comment, Malik turned away and scratched his head, "I don't know what it is, but I get the feeling… that we were supposed to be doing something…"
"Really? What?" Ryou asked.
"I dunno." He confessed, "It's just a really weird feeling I have that we're supposed to be doing something important."
Bakura raised an eyebrow, "What could you possibly have to do here? Everything's done for us. I haven't really done anything since I got here, and neither have you."
"I disagree, yesterday I had to pick up a quarter I dropped on the floor." Marik said, tilting his head back.
"Oh, you poor baby."
Suddenly, the door to the room opened and Cody came trotting inside, shutting the door behind himself. He smiled brightly when he saw that all of them were in the room, as per his request. Ryou was sitting in a big, fluffy chair by the bed which was where Malik and Bakura were situated and Marik was leaning on the wall. They each looked at him, slightly puzzled.
"Hiddy-ho, everyone!" He chirped, sitting down between Bakura and Malik.
Ryou smiled back, "Hallo, Cody."
"Cody, exactly what are we in here for?" Bakura asked, propping his head up on one hand.
"Ah, yup yup! I guess yous guys forgot a little bit, but I'm here ta remind ya before it gets too late and we'd be in big trouble! I figure you guys been getting so much of the high-life, you forgot why you came heres in the first place, yeah yeah?"
They all blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Wait," Marik bit his lower lip, thinking for a moment, "Why did we come here in the first place?"
"Uh…" Malik blinked, "Wasn't it to get something?"
"Probably tomatoes."
"… No."
"Cabbage?"
"No."
"Dammit… Onion rings?"
"No…! Wait, onion rings…? Rings…? Millennium rings! Dammit, how could we've forgotten!" Malik stood up and clenched his hair in his fists, "Oh, Ra! How long have we been here?"
Cody counted on his fingers, "This is the fifth day, I think… Ah, yup yup, it is."
"Oh Ra…" Marik groaned, "With all the time that's passed, who knows what Yami's doing now! He could have everyone under his control, he could've blown up two continents already! Or… Or-"
"Slowly killing my Heidikins!" Cody wailed, falling backwards onto the bed. He didn't hold himself back and so the bounce his body made on the bed, caused Bakura to fly up and land on the ground, face first. Of course, while Marik was trying to control his laughter, Ryou was the first to run over and make sure Bakura hadn't gotten any 'boo-boos'.
After Ryou was sure that his yami was quite alright, he turned to Cody, a worried expression on his face, "Cody, what is it you said about someone… slowly killing something?"
He sniffed, "Pharaoh Yami is ch-chopping off Heidi's fingers everyday so that the Spike Patrol will find yous guys faster…! She's gunna die on the tenth day, and that's this Saturday!"
"Oh, dear!" Ryou clamped his hands over his mouth, "Poor… uh, whoever she is. That sounds just dreadful, I wish we could help…"
"Why would we want to?" Bakura asked.
He received a rather small slap from his hikari, which really didn't hurt but meant 'Be quiet.'
"That's why I came ta get YOU!" Cody jumped up all of a sudden, scaring Ryou who went flopping into his yami's arms. A big pink flag in the shape of a heart appeared in Cody's hands as he shouted from atop the bed, "We needs ta blow this Popsicle stand and save meh Heidikins! We been here too long and if we wait much longer, I'm gunna have ta marry a paraplegic!"
"… Damn." Marik blinked, "You're really psychotic, aren't you?"
Ryou cooed, clasping his hands together, "Aw…! I think it's adorable. Of course we'll help you out, Cody! How sweet."
"Well… We do have to go back to Domino, anyway." Malik nodded to himself, "And Heidi was the one who helped us escape Happy Chicken, shouldn't we help her, Marik?"
Marik was about to say something, but soon stopped when he noticed the three sets of large, glossy eyes in front of him. One pair was brown and the next were purple and the third were a dull blue. Bakura was in back of them, rolling his eyes, "This is so stupid."
"Alright, alright!" Marik shouted, shooing the boys away as he sat down next to Bakura, "We're going, then."
"Oh, thank you!" All three shouted.
"But, wait a minute." Malik stopped, "If you two don't have the rings, how are we going to do anything like stopping Yami? Or even getting Heidi away from him?"
"Yeah, you never even told us what happened to the rings."
Ryou nodded slowly, "Oh… Well, we… I think we left them in Domino, didn't we, 'Kura?"
"DOMINO?" Marik and Malik looked at each other, "Why?"
"For safety reasons. At least that's what Ryou says." Bakura rolled his eyes, "He thought it'd be a good idea to leave them in our house so that wherever we were, if we were captured, they wouldn't have the rings."
"Ugh… Fine, we'll go to your house first. Then we'll go to the palace."
"Huzzah!"
"Hush now, my baby… Be swift now, don't cry… Sleep as you're rocked by the stream…"
There were another group of people who didn't waste these four days. They couldn't, for they were pushed along in body and spirit by a small, raven-haired youth by the name of Mokuba. And whenever the boys felt like giving up or giving in, he'd either give them an inspiring speech or, if he was tired, give them a good kick in the bum. And they'd set back to work! As it was, Mokuba and his elder, whiny brother, Seto, were working in the corner of the cell, knitting fast as they had been for the past 96 hours.
It was Tristan's genius idea for them to knit a garment in the mirror image of the Spike Patrol. A gray and yellow jumpsuit and although their jumpsuits had a bit of a metallic texture and this one would look like wool, they thought no one would notice. As they were coming to the home stretch, finishing the outfit, Otogi was singing the guard outside to sleep so that, when ready, either Joey or Tristan could get the keys from him easily by reaching through the bars. The teen had woken up about 57 hours ago and was fresh and ready to help out.
"Sleep now, my baby, this is our… last goodbye… Sleep and you're always… with me…" Otogi finished his song and as he came to the last few words, the guard's eyes rolled back as he slumped to the floor, snoring loudly and mumbling about cupcakes.
"Wow, great job, Otogi!" Joey gave him the thumbs up sign.
Tristan nodded to him, "Yeah, who knew you had pipes like that."
"Well, I learned from the best!" He chirped.
"… Whitey Houston?"
"No! Malik…!" Otogi tilted his head wondering how Joey always came up with the stupidest things to say. "Oh, Mokuba, are you two done, yet?"
Mokuba blinked and set down his needles, holding up his half of the suit. He had been working on the bottom half, meaning hips and lower and it looked perfect, just like a professional had done it. "Yeah, I'm done! What about you, Seto?"
Seto looked a bit annoyed but sighed and set down his needles, as well. He lifted up his half and everyone in the cell gasped. From the hips up, was a mess. The whole thing was twice as long as it was supposed to be and the arms were pretty long as well. Everyone stopped starring at the jumpsuit and looked at the CEO with each expression saying the same thing, 'Oh, Seto…'
"I tried, alright! I've never done this before, if you want a professional, call Martha Stuart, not Seto Kaiba."
Mokuba sweat dropped, "I-I suppose it'll have to do. Okay, Tristan, if you would, please get the keys."
"Gotcha." Tristan slowly reached through the bars and he zeroed in on the key ring at the hip of the sleeping guard. He carefully pulled it off and into the cell, he tossed them to Mokuba.
"Great!" Mokuba smiled, "Now, all we have to do if figure out whose going to go out and rescue Heidi."
Otogi tilted his head, "But Mokuba, I thought you were going to go?"
"Well, I was and I still want to, but this suit is way too big for me, I'd never get by the guards as one of them. One of you will have to."
First, Otogi was looked at, "… Me? Oh, no, I'm not chancing getting shot. I've done my part, I'm staying right here."
Everyone's glances turned to Tristan, "Hmm? Oh, sorry, but I'd better stay here with Otogi. You know, to make sure he doesn't get drunk and get in the way."
They rolled their eyes. Joey shrugged, "I'll go, I don't mind."
"Oh! Okay, Joey-"
"Wait a minute!" Kaiba stood up, frowning at Mokuba who was about to hand over the jumpsuit to Joey, "No way he's going. He's going to say or do something stupid that's going to ruin the whole thing!"
"What'd you say, Kaiba?"
"I said you're an IDIOT!"
Mokuba sighed and shushed them both before they killed each other, "Alright, alright! Stop it, you two are like children. Seto, if you think Joey's going to mess up that badly, then you're just going to have to go with him, aren't you?"
They both blinked, "… Huh? How?"
Before anyone knew it, both Kaiba and Joey were inside the suit, Kaiba on the bottom, serving as the legs and Joey sitting on his shoulders, serving as the arms and head.
"I feel dumb." Joey said, looking down at Mokuba.
"Now you feel how you look, mutt." Came a mumbled voice from the vicinity of the stomach area.
"Shh!" Mokuba opened the door to the cell, quietly, "Seto, you can't talk, or you'll give it away. Now go, you guys. Heidi's on the second floor. Good luck."
With that, Kaiba began to waddle out the door, not being able to see where he was going, Joey silently directed him with his knees down the hallway.