Her Sweetness: Forgive me.
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 27:
"Oh my gosh, someone's come to visit me!"
Everyone watched with an eyebrow raised as Pegasus flounced down the linoleum tiled floor. When he first laid eyes on Mokuba, a light in his eye shown and he immediately got up and as he came over, closer to him and the other boys, the man dressed in black, whom they found out was Pegasus' Chief of Security, Croquet, addressed him again, telling the story of how they came to meet.
"And when I got done battling the evil pig monster," He continued, "I came through the underbrush and saw these hoodlums on the beach doin'… stuff." Croquet looked at them suspiciously and Marik stuck his tongue out at him.
"We weren't doing anything! Our boat got turned over by some huge wave and we woke up on this island. Then you came along and accused us of selling hair gel!" Bakura explained, joining his friend in tonguing Croquet.
Pegasus had made his way over to Ryou, smiling as he looked down at Mokuba, "Isn't he darling? You know, it's funny. I remember him being slightly smaller the last time I saw him. He's grown! My, children look so innocent in dream land."
"Um…" Ryou took a step back, "M-Mokuba's not sleeping! He's unconscious. H-He needs help, right away."
"… Oh. Well, then, we shall just have to get him some help then, won't we? Croquet! See to it than the Kaiba-boy is taken care of, would you?" He nodded to the man who was currently locked in a glaring contest with Bakura and Marik. It was a good thing Pegasus had called upon him, because he was losing badly.
"Ah, yes, Mr. Pegasus." He gave the boys one last contemptible glance and walked over to Ryou and held out his arms, motioning that he should give the boy to him. After hesitating for a moment, Ryou carefully placed Mokuba in the man's arms and he began to walk away.
Malik and Ryou sniffed and Malik cried out, "B-Be careful with him…!"
"Oh, that poor, delusional little boy…" Ryou sighed, wistfully, "All he wanted was to save that poor fingerless girl…! Oh, Malik it's so sad!"
"I know!"
They both burst out into tears and hugged each other, consumed in their grief. In the middle of all their tears, they stopped hugging two seconds later because, somehow, Pegasus had made his way into the hug and was crying and holding onto both of them.
"Eek!" Ryou and Malik jumped back, "What are you doing!"
"… I-I'm just so happy that there's someone out there that still c-cares about me…!" Pegasus sniffed, and wiped his eyes with a frilly tissue in his pocket, "I can't tell you how long I've been alone! I thought everyone hated me…"
Bakura shrugged, "We do."
This comment was quite rude but Pegasus didn't take offense, he simply turned to Ryou and realization flashed in his eyes, "… Oh, hey! I know you. You're that cute little British boy who showed up at my tournament! I can't believe it! First the Kaiba-boy and now you! …Hmm… And who do we have here?"
He was talking about Marik and Malik as he shifted his gaze to the two Egyptians standing nearby, secretly whispering to each other and making fun of him. He tapped his chin for a moment, starring at Marik.
"W-What is it?" Marik asked, backing up as Pegasus moved foreword.
"I… I just know I've seen you somewhere, too, but…" He thought for a moment more before shouting out, "… That's it! You were Mr. October in the 2004 Bad Kitty Calendar! I had you on my wall for a whole month!"
Malik facefaulted and looked at his yami, eyes wide, "You were what!"
"WHAT! T-That's a lie! I didn't…!" Marik hurried to clear his name but the damage was already done.
Bakura and Ryou starred, "Damn…"
"I'm a big fan of yours!" Pegasus said excitedly and blinked, "Do you think you could sign a few things for me?"
"Oh, Marik, I'm so ashamed of you." Malik turned his head the other way in disgust, "I thought you were respectable! I have no yami anymore. You are a stranger."
Bakura had coughed and slid next to Pegasus, whispering, "Um… Any chance I could get a hold of that calendar? I can pay you good money for it…!"
"Oh!" Ryou pouted and bonked his yami on the head, shooing him out of the way, "Please, Pegasus, don't give anything to him, he doesn't need it." He looked around then leaned in, "Besides, I can pay more than he can…"
"Ah!" Malik scowled at Marik, "Y-You see what you and your Calendar Boy ways have done, Marik? You've turned Ryou into a pervert!"
"Hey!" Ryou took offence to this.
"… You see how much trouble you cause?"
"How much trouble I cause? You're the one making a big deal about this!"
"I'm not making a big deal out of this, this is serious! I can't believe you didn't tell me about that!"
"It was only one dirty calendar exposé! How many playboy magazines have you posed for? And don't lie!"
"…" Malik blushed, shuffling his feet and, in a second, regaining his composure, "W-We're not talking about me right now!"
"Nice save." Bakura gave him a thumbs-up.
"Shut up!"
"Make me!"
"My goodness…!" Pegasus murmured, though his soft whisper was enough to gain the quarreling boys' attention. "You all are the rowdiest bunch I think I've ever seen! I'm going to love having you around! We can be together FOREVER!"
"…"
They were scared.
"Oh, Croquet!" Pegasus cried out and in a second, Croquet came back into the room with something in his hand. Pegasus got in the middle of the hikaris and the yamis and put his arms around them and smiled while they all felt uncomfortable.
Croquet lifted the Polaroid camera he had in his hand, "Say 'dandelion'!" He ordered and Pegasus was the only one who actually said it.
The picture came out and Croquet handed it to his boss, who tucked it in his pocket and told them about the last time he took a picture with young, teenage boys was when he was a showgirl in Vegas and how his tortured life in showbiz had lead him to fighting aliens on a dairy farm and shortly after, he knew he had to follow his heart and do what he always wanted to do… which was raising goats in Amish country. But then the goats always were more or less independent and so that left him with a great amount of time to read. His great life's journey took all of an hour and thirty minutes and when he was done, the boys woke up and rubbed their eyes.
Ryou coughed, rather woozily, catching his balance as he had been sleeping while standing, "Well… That's, uh, very nice of you, Pegasus, to… uh, share such personal information with us, but really, we can't stay here. W-We-"
"Nonsense!" Pegasus shouted, scarring the poor Brit.
Marik frowned, "Tch! Seriously, Pegasus, we really just came here to-"
"Oh, you poor thing." Pegasus cuddled the blonde before he could continue which resulted in a very pissed-off Marik, "You four must have had a long trip. You're so gaunt and malnourished! C'mon, then! We shall fatten you up! Croquet, get dinner started!"
"Yes sir." He nodded and left the room, humming the theme song to Bonanza.
Malik and the others tried to tell Pegasus they weren't hungry, except Bakura silenced them with a polite, 'Shut-up,' and added an 'I'm hungry,' They sighed and thought that maybe a little food wouldn't be so bad.
"H-How did you get here? Flyswatter was supposed to have killed you back at that cult's base!" Shouted one of the guards in disbelief. Since he and his cohort had discovered the man who had fallen on them from above, they found out that he was climbing up this particular castle wall because he thought that Heidi was on this side, even though she was all the way in the east wing.
"Cody, everyone here thinks you're dead." Informed the other, "And how'd you live through that attack? We heard about what went down over there and from the sounds of it; you should be only a shred of clothing."
"If that."
Cody scratched the back of his head. He and the two Spike Patrollers were crouching down in a rather large patch of yellow tulips while the gardeners worked around them, unaware of the conversation that was going on.
"I gots ta admit, it was really scary. There was bullets and bombs everywhere! And… well, I probably would've been dead, except for the fact that, when I was in school, I was really good at dodge ball! And so I pretended that all these dangerous and life-threatening weapons were red balls! Ah, yup yup! That's what cha call strategizin'!"
"…" They looked at each other. "That's… um… interesting."
"Ain't it? Welpers, I gots ta be goin' now, so see ya, fellas!" He saluted and began to get up. Immediately, they sweatdropped and pulled him back down.
"Wait a minute! Where do you think you're going?"
"I gots ta go save meh Heidikins. Y'know, I didn't swim two oceans to see yous two. I got out of the basement right afore it blew up and when I got out, I saw my jeep was gone! So, I figured the boys must've taken it and I decided to swim here. I'm a pretty good swimmer, y'know! I gots floaties!"
They both blinked and shrugged it off, "… Kay. B-But Cody, everyone thinks you're dead! And besides that, you can't just go rescue the general, because she's Pharaoh Yami's property. And, well, he has plans for her, so you see…"
Cody made a pathetic whining noise in the back of his throat.
"Aw, c'mon!" The other Patroller waved his hand, "What do you want her for anyway? She's got three fingers! On her left hand!"
"But she's still meh Heidikins and I gots ta save her!"
"Um… oh yeah. There's another thing. Technically, you went against the Pharaohs and so… we kinda have to turn you in, Cody." He scratched his head and with his friend, grabbed the man by both shoulders as he flailed and hollered.
"W-Wait a minute! Have a heart yous guys, don't take me to the Pharaohs! They'll chop me up into little pieces and eat 'em!" He shouted, but was ignored.
The men had to put up with Cody's yelling and pleading as they carried him into the castle and searched for the Pharaohs. They weren't in their bedroom and they weren't in the throne room. Yugi wasn't in his relaxation room and Yami wasn't taking a bath, where could they be? Finally, after searching for a good thirty minutes, and having to carry Cody who was now snoozing lightly on one of their backs, they found that Heidi and Flyswatter's cell door was wide open. They poked their heads in.
"Hello…? Anyone…?"
"Who goes there?" Came a familiar voice from inside. The guards looked around and then saw Yami and Yugi in the room, their arms folded over their chests and Heidi up in her chains and Flyswatter, naked, on the floor in the corner.
The guards shyly nodded, "S-Sorry to interrupt, Your Highnesses, but have a look at what we found in the garden." One of them gestured towards the sleeping man on the other's back.
Yugi gasped, "H… He's alive?"
Heidi blinked, wide-eyed, "Cody…!"
"How? Where did you find him!" Yami demanded.
"He was out in garden, trying to climb the palace walls. He fell on top of us."
Yami studied Cody for a moment before turning around, "Good work, men. You shall be justly rewarded. And as your reward, we're not going to kill you like we had planned on doing last week. Congrats."
They facefaulted.
"Tch… Oh well." Yugi shook his head, "We can't be bothered with him right now. Just throw him in here with Heidi for the time being, there's about to be a lot more room anyway. Flyswatter, you're coming with us."
"B-But, Pharaoh Y-Yugi…! What are you going to do to me?" He cowered, shifting even farther into the corner.
"Ugh. That's not important. Get up or we'll have to use brute force!"
When Flyswatter made no attempt to move his whale of a body, Yugi rolled his eyes and motioned towards the two guards standing in the doorway who had just thrown Cody down. They nodded in response to their Pharaoh's command and went over and picked up that fat, naked man.
"Hey! Let me go! Stop this at once!" He wailed.
Yami rolled his eyes, he and his hikari walking out of the room and the guards carried Flyswatter out as well, his large, rust-covered rump was the last thing Heidi saw before the door slammed shut and she busted into uncontrolled laughter.
On the other side of the door, Yami and Yugi walked calmly to their master bedroom with Flyswatter and Spike Patrollers in tow. The guards' faces were turning a nice shade of green from having Flyswatter's naked underside flapping against their faces.
Soon, though they got to the room and Yami and Yugi told the guards to lay him down on the large bed and strap him into the belts that came from each post. He was spread out and tied down and screamed and cried out, "What kind of horrible, perverted thing is this! Let me go! I don't want to be a tortured, love slave!"
"What the…" Yugi rolled his eyes, "What the hell are you talking about, huh?"
Yami coughed, "Well, Yugi, this does look odd. He's strapped to our bed with leather belts and he's naked."
"… Eww." Everyone in the room, except for Flyswatter, shuddered at the very thought of someone like him being a 'love slave'.
"What ew?" Flyswatter scrunched his face up, obviously offended. "You're all just jealous. You don't know what you're missing!" Though he was tied down, he began pelvic dancing on the bed, hoping up and down and sung, "Ah, ah! I'm just a love machine! And I won't work for no body but you! Ooh, yeah, I'm just a love machine! A hug and kissin' fiend!"
One of the guards fainted and had to be wheeled out on a gurney.
"Oh, Gods! Yugi, hurry it up, dammit, I'm about to lose my lunch, breakfast and dinner from yesterday!" Yami yelled, turning away from the grotesque sight.
"Okay, okay," Yugi smacked Flyswatter across the face to still him and pulled out a sheet of folded up printer paper out of his back pocket. He opened it and it seemed to be a printed version of a page of the Black-market website, some words and obscene conversations. He skimmed down the page and cleared his throat. "…"
Yami was leaning on the wall in the corner, "…Well? What's wrong, Yugi?"
"Ah… nothing. It's just that I'm nervous! I've never done this before."
"Tch! I should be the one who's nervous. I honestly doubt this is going to work, but go ahead. At this point, I'd try anything to kill those fools." He spat, fixing his eyes on Flyswatter who was unaware of what was about to happen.
Yugi nodded, "Right." And turned back to his chubby victim on the bed. He began to read over the cheap, evil text on the copy paper and chanter and soon his words became slurred and Flyswatter began to slowly but surely levitate off the bed and glow a mysterious yellow.
As the process continued, Yami's eyes widened and he muttered, "Y-Yugi… Y-Yugi, we…! Need to get out of here!"
But, as it often is, it was too late.
"Crap, Pegasus! This is really too much food!"
Marik surveyed the table that they were dining at and it seemed to go on forever. The white table cloth was practically piled with foods of all kinds, some of which looked like it didn't even come from this planet to which Pegasus only coughed in response. The room was dimly lit, which, according to Pegasus, 'set the mood'. What mood, they asked. To this there was only a grin in response.
Marik and Bakura were sitting on one side and Ryou and Malik on the other, with Pegasus sitting in between. When Croquet had wheeled in the last of the food and left, Malik repeated what his yami had said at first, "Really… I don't think we can eat all this."
"Speak for yourself," Bakura shook his fork at the boy on the other side, "I'm going to eat till the cows come home!"
"If you eat all this food, Bakura, you will be a cow." Ryou informed him, "As for me, I'm trying to watch it and so I think I'll just eat a salad or something."
Pegasus noticed this and leaned into Ryou, winking, "C'mon, Ryou-boy, you don't need to watch it."
Bakura rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Yeah, cause someone else is already watchin' it for you…" He blinked and turned to Marik who wasn't eating very much, "… You gonna eat that?"
"Yes, you glutton!" He bonked his friend with a pork chop.
"Ahem," Malik coughed, gaining the attention of everyone at the table, "Pegasus, I really want to thank you for this and everything, but… We're not staying here. We can't, we have to deal with a few things."
"What…! B-But, we were gonna be the bestest of friends!"
Marik choked on his pork chop, "Who?"
"We were!" Pegasus insisted, "We took a picture and everything! I thought you would stay with me and we would grow old together! Then we'd be buried together and, in the afterlife, we could consult each other on the difference between Gap and Old Navy!"
"Ooh, what fun!" Ryou sparkled, enthusiastically.
"I know…!" Pegasus sobbed, "I-I know what this is! You foul demons just came here to entice me and then just leave me alone again! I'm just a plaything in your web of twisted sex games! Foul sirens!"
Bakura kept eating, glaring at Pegasus for getting tears on his meat.
Marik let out a jagged breath, trying to contain his temper, "Pegasus."
He continued sobbing, not hearing Marik's call.
"Pegasus!"
Still sobbing.
"PEGASUS! YOU FRUIT, LISTEN TO ME!"
"…" He sniffed and looked over at the fuming yami. "Y-Yes, Marik-boy? What is it?"
"We're here, because you're the only one who can help us take down Yami and Yugi! When we were back at Happy Chicken, Mokuba explained to us that the world wasn't being controlled by the millennium puzzles, but that bible that those idiots made!"
"Mmmhmm." Ryou nodded in agreement, turning to his fellow hikari, "What was that religion's name again? Duckyanisium?"
"No, Ryou, its Monkeyanisium." Malik corrected.
"Oh, yes."
"… Ah! I understand now! I remember a book like that being sent to my doorstep, last week; I'm always getting those, but I never read them…" Pegasus thought, "I don't get out much but from what I hear on TV and radio, it's become quiet the popular book, a bestseller. I've gotten all the info on that thing. Apparently, it first was a bestseller only because it was rumored to be filled with erotic, monkey sex!"
Bakura choked.
"What!" Marik spat out his drink.
Pegasus winked, excitedly, "And I heard that it has pictures!"
"Wait a minute, excuse me," Malik shivered and turned to Pegasus, "What are we talking about here? Are we talking about people having wild, monkey sex or are we talking about actual monkeys?"
"Monkeys, of course." Pegasus answered.
"… I think I'm going to be sick." Ryou turned away from his salad.
"Okay, okay…" Marik shook his head, "Fine. There's monkey sex in this book, but how do we stop this idiotic religion? We know that it has more of a hold on the general public than just basic perversion."
"That's right. Within each book, it holds a special dial that, when you read it, activates and forces you to believe in the Monkeyanisium and the Gods of this religion happen to be Yami and Yugi-boy." Pegasus explained, "It wouldn't be easy for anyone to stop these books, you know."
"We'll do anything!" Malik told him, "We have to stop these books to free the people, it's the only way!"
He nodded thoughtfully then spoke again, "… There are… two plants on the outskirts of Domino that harbor the mainframe computers that operate and maintain the dials all over the world. The computers work together but are in different spots so no one can interfere, you see, they have to be shut off at the exact same time to cease productivity."
They looked at each other.
Bakura had finally finished all his food, which happened to be more than half the table. After a hardy belch and a glare from present company, he blinked at the frilly man beside him, "So… just how do you know all of this?"
Pegasus smiled cheerfully, "Internet!"
"… Figures."
"But our boat is all banged up!" Ryou remembered, "We won't be able to get anywhere!"
"Aw, man…!" They sighed.
"Well… Even though you're leaving me," Pegasus frowned, hurt, "I suppose that letting you use my jets would be the nice thing to do. Yes, I'll do that! They're in great shape and incredibly fast. You'll get there in no time!"
Ryou blinked, "R-Really? Oh, Pegasus, you're so nice!"
"I know!"
"That's it, then." Marik stood up, pointing a pork chop into the air, "We've gotta leave right away! We've gotta go stop Yami's Monkey Love!"
"Yami's Monkey Love!" They echoed, gleefully.