Her Sweetness: Hello all. I'm feeling pretty good, because today, I got my Azumanga Daioh box set that I ordered last Saturday. Of course, when YOU read this note, it'll be a while after I've gotten my box.

Do you think it's weird that I write the note before I write the chapter? It helps me.

Okay, so. Here's what you came for.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 30:

The pink jet skidded to a small stop right in front of the puffy giant. Malik and Bakura looked up out of the window, wide-eyed with their mouths hanging down in confusion and horror. They were about fifty feet away from the entrance of the Factory and the gates were wide open, apparently, the workers were trying to get some of the trucks inside before that monster stomped on them.

Flyswatter had noticed the little plane, which looked like a small toy to him, landing on the piece of pavement before him. He squinted curiously and it looked like he was going to try and pick it up. Malik was now screaming in Bakura's ears for him to hurry up and open the door.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Malik shouted, shaking Bakura's shoulders.

Bakura growled and rammed the door, making it fall of its hinges and onto the concrete. He jumped out and landed on the broken door, looking back up at Malik who was standing there like an idiot.

"What are you doing!" He yelled, "Malik, get down from there!"

"But it's too high, I can't jump!"

Before anything else could be said, Flyswatter had bent down and his abnormally chubby fingers grabbed the small plane, the force of his grasp actually bending some of the mental. Malik screamed as the plane lifted in the air. When it got to about fifty feet, which was the equivalent of Flyswatter's waist, Bakura called up to him.

"Malik, jump down here before you get killed! Just jump, I promise to catch you!"

As Flyswatter was now looking the hikari straight in the eye now, a malicious and somewhat dumb expression on his face, he opened his mouth extremely wide and Malik nearly fainted. But, luckily, he had enough sense to jump out of the bent and smooshed doorway, freefalling down beside the fatty monster and looking at the ever growing ground. "Y-YOU'D BETTER CATCH ME, BAKURA!" Malik screamed, tears welling in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I never miss!" He called, his arms above his head.

Malik came plummeting down, heading right for Bakura but as he closed in, five feet above the yami, Bakura shifted his arms slightly to the left and Malik landed face-down on the concrete. A yelp of pain was muttered and Bakura looked down, his arms drooping.

"Ooh… I missed, didn't I…?"

"Yes. Yes, you did." He mumbled.

By this time, Flyswatter had become aware of the fact that he was chewing on a plane that had no one in it, now seeing Malik on the ground with Bakura. Enraged, he spat out the slimy, spit-covered scrap of metal and it sailed backwards landing on a few people, instantly killing them and their cat.

He roared, scarring the boys on the ground into scurrying for the safety of the tall gates of Factory Beta. But the last truck had come through and the poor, horrified Factory workers were hurriedly closing the gates, trying to keep anything else out. And even though, Malik and Bakura were waving their arms around their heads, wildly, for the workers to let them through, but the foreman shut the gate and locked it and the two boys slammed into the gate.

"Oh, Ra, what are we going to do! I don't want to die, I don't want to die!" Malik screamed, banging his fists into the gate.

Flyswatter was now sprinting towards them, his arms outstretched and a deranged look on his face, resulting in Malik wetting his pants. "T-That's it… we're gonna die… Goodbye world! Oh, this is so upsetting! Bakura, hold me!"

"Ahem. Are you coming?"

Blinking and looking back, Malik noticed that Bakura had unlocked the gate with a bobby pin and was holding it open just enough for them to squeeze through. The blonde blushed and giggled, walking through, Bakura rolling his eyes and following him in.

When the gate was let shut, Flyswatter, who had been running full speed ahead, slammed into the tall fence. The force almost knocked the barrier to the ground, but it held strong and Flyswatter was the one who rebounded off of it, flying backwards and landing in a big thud on the ground, shaking everything around him immensely.

Bakura cringed, feeling the vibrations all the way in the middle of the Factory's compound. The monster didn't move much, a guttural moan escaping his lips and a flop to his side and that was about it. Bakura shook his head, pitifully, "Eh… Poor fat man. It's a shame he had to come to such a predictable end. He would've been a cool pet."

Alarm came over Malik, "… J-Just who keeps a fat person for a pet, huh?" He shouted.

"Perhaps I do!"

He huffed, folding his arms, "Ryou'd never let you keep him, anyway…"

Before Bakura had a chance to object, he was surprised by a beep that came from behind him and Malik immediately pulled him out of the way of one of the cargo trucks that was trying to maneuver around the teens in the way of their business. Malik pointed about twenty feet ahead to the large building that was actually the reason they had come so far.

"We'd better get in there before too many people notice us." Malik suggested, "C'mon, then. The sooner we shut that thing off, the sooner this will all be over."

"Uh-huh. Okay…" Bakura was barely listening, as they began to walk in the shadows of parked trucks, up to the open doors of the building, looking wistfully back at the still monster on the other side of the fence.

Malik frowned, "You're odd."

He made no response and they made it to the entrance virtually unnoticed or bothered. Men were moving in and out to the compound quickly, unloading boxes and giving directions, so with all the commotion; they were able to sneak by as nothing more than common workers.

On the inside, it was insanely large, metal everywhere they looked and even more people than they had seen outside. The main room was covered from top to bottom in assorted perverted monkey pictures. Both teens' mouths dropped at the obscene propaganda on the walls, surrounding them. True, they had seen a fair amount of dirty magazines and comic books, but things like this were too hardcore even for them.

Malik gagged, turning away from the walls and towards Bakura, "This… this is so gross!"

"I know." Bakura crinkled his nose, looking at another poster, "A monkey's nipples aren't that big."

"And just how the hell would you know!"

"I have my ways…" He said mystically.

"…"

On the other side of Domino, another Factory was being infiltrated. Though, unlike the other two, Marik and Ryou got inside Factory Alpha without a hitch. No big, fat monster tried to stop them and they weren't really aware that there was a big, fat monster with intentions of stopping anyone. Nevertheless, they entered the Factory through the back door, and, not wanting to be noticed by any of the workers, they disguised themselves with a Factory Alpha uniform. A simple blue hat and shirt with a small emblem of an unusually happy monkey on the back.

The inside of the building looked a lot like Beta, complete with monkey posters and some kind of soundtrack that played throughout the entire building, tropic sounds of wild monkeys doing wild monkey things.

And so the mixed hikari and yami walked through the place, virtually unseen and blending in with their surroundings.

"Okay…" Marik said, tapping his chin. Currently, they had just come out of some sort of closet which was where they obtained the uniforms. Now in the main room, metal mechanisms and machines surrounding them, workers going from place to place, turning knobs and holding clipboards, everything looked the same. "Well, before doing anything, I guess we should check to make sure that Malik and Bakura made it in okay-"

"Yes!" Ryou shrieked, hurriedly, coming from his spot behind the yami and grasping his hands, "Please, Marik, can I talk to 'Kura? I want to talk to him! Please?"

Everyone in their area stopped whatever they were doing and gave skeptical glances at both boys, more so to Ryou. Marik, seeing that he was making a spectacle of himself, shushed the boy, and pulled him into the corner, "Ryou…! Jeez, you can't scream like that, we're trying to get through this, unknown."

"…" He sniffed, eyes growing watery.

"Tch! Don't think you're going to get your way because you're crying." Marik scolded him, sternly, "Just ask Malik, he knows I don't work like that."

Sniffles came louder and quicker now as Ryou sobbed a cup full of tears onto the linoleum floor and began bawling, causing more people to stop and turn to the corner that the boys were occupying. Ryou's face was red as he muttered, "B-But… I wanna talk to B-Bakura…!"

Marik slapped his forehead, but before he could get Ryou to calm down, a few whispers from the new crowd behind them began.

"Hey, who are those guys?"

"Dunno, never seen 'em here before."

"Ah… What's that guy doing to that cute, little boy?"

"He's making him cry!"

"Hey! Shame on you!"

The Egyptian was now doing two things at once. Trying to get Ryou to stop his bawling and trying to get those 'damned busybodies' to go away before their plan was ruined.

"O-Okay, Ryou, you can talk to Bakura! See? Here's the headset!" Marik tried to act cheerful as he handed the headset over to the boy, at the same time showing the people behind him that he wasn't responsible for Ryou's overactive emotions.

As Ryou squealed and cuddled the headset, Marik grabbed his wrist and they pushed their way through the crowds of somewhat disapproving people. Though some let it go, a few called after Marik: "You'd better be nice to him!"

He flipped them off and they went into a janitorial closet across the shiny floors and he shut the door behind him. It was rather dark in there and before he found the light switch, Marik tripped over a bucket full of cat pee and it splashed all over him. And though Marik was getting more and more angry that he was the victim of so many strange things, his partner had adjusted the headset and wasn't even concerning himself with Marik's darkening mood.

"Hallo? Testing! 'Kura, are you there?" He inquired.

After a second of static, a familiar voice came on, "Huh? Ryou?"

"Hi, Bakura! I'm so happy to hear your voice, I was so worried about you, you know! I can't believe we're this far away from each other, it's gotta be like 60 miles or something, don't you miss me? I miss you! My poor baby, all by his lonesome… Well, I'll have you know, 'Kura, that I will soon be with you and you won't have to cry anymore!"

"Ryou! I haven't cried in 3,000 years and five days!"

Marik blinked at hearing this, "Bakura's cried before?"

Ryou nodded to him, sympathetically, "Yes, he stubbed his toe while watering his spice garden."

Marik crumbled to the ground, laughing.

"Don't tell him that!" Bakura shouted over the line. Malik was heard in the background, seemingly in the same state as his yami. Bakura huffed, "Alright, Ryou. Now that you've taken my last bit of dignity, I take it there was some reason that you called?"

"Oh, we just wanted to know if you were alright!"

"I'm fine…" He gritted his teeth.

Marik had just recovered from his greatest laughing spell to date. He managed to get the headset from his British partner without him putting up too much of a fight and he asked, "Did you guys find that computer in Beta, yet?"

"Eh, no. We just got here. But we were looking around when we got in… You'd never believe what happened when we first got here!"

"You stubbed your toe?"

"Shut-up! No, there was this huge-"

Suddenly, a loud noise came over the line. A shrill cry and then what seemed like a thousand more. Marik blinked into the headset, muttering, "What the…? Hey, Bakura!"

There wasn't much of a reply except some more static and screaming and then Bakura's voice broken into segments over the fading airwaves, ". . . It's that thing. . . meet you at the comp. . . same time. . ."

Ryou gasped, "Oh, no, what's happening over there?"

"Dunno… C'mon, I think he said to get to the main computer and we'll shut it off at the same time."

"Okay…"

Over at Factory Beta, chaos had just awoken in the form of a large pile of pale blubber. Bakura had been talking to his hikari and Marik over behind a large machine in the corner of the main room and Malik occasionally threw something into the conversation, but when he was about to tell his friend what they had encountered earlier, a few people walking back and forth in front of the large windows up front broke out into screams and they looked away from the headset.

Malik looked to the albino beside him, "What are they yelling about?"

He shrugged and they immediately went over to one of the windows, stopping once they arrived and held onto the sill. Looking out past the compound and over the gate guarding it, their eyes went wide and their jaws became unhinged.

It seemed that Flyswatter had come out of his unconscious state and began to get up, stabling himself by gripping his knees and woozily standing upright and surveying his surroundings. Across the way, he saw that gate that he had forcefully hit and, though it took a while, he figured out that was what caused him to black out. Growling like the primitive animal he was, his eyes narrowed for a moment and in one of the large windows of the Factory that was less that was 200 yards away, he saw two people who looked familiar. A blonde with dark skin and that brown-eyed albino, both of whom got away from him earlier.

Flyswatter snorted and began to back up, a few steps then a few more.

Inside the building, a man asked loudly, "What's he doing? Is he going away?"

Malik and Bakura watched him with a curious and intense eye.

Now as the monster was about eighty feet away from the gate, he suddenly started to race towards it, scarring most of the people inside Beta. Closing in on the fence, and as some of the workers thought he'd just knock himself out again, Flyswatter actually got a good enough start to where he jumped into the sky and cleared the fence without much trouble, much to everyone's surprise.

He landed with a large thud, making the building pop up off the ground for a moment, then land much like the monster itself did.

After getting their footing again, every workers and foreman in the building went wild with fear and ran around in circles as Flyswatter's sights settled on Factory Beta and the two boys it harbored. He came running up to it like a madman and some people, suspecting that they would soon die a horrible death, decided to end it for themselves right on the spot.

"What are we gonna do? He's going to tear down the entire Factory!" Malik shouted, backing away from the windows.

Bakura looked around at first, seeing nothing but riots and as the fat man rushed the front of the building, his hands shoving into the glass and breaking two of the largest windows, broken shards scattered across the chrome floor. His chubby hands reached in and would've almost grabbed Bakura if he hadn't hid behind Malik, and the prying hand picked up a frantic man. When Flyswatter pulled him out of the building and looked at his face, knowing he was not one of the boys he was looking for, but he still popped him into his mouth, chewed twice and again his hands dove into the building.

"Oh, freak!" Bakura screamed, and began to run away, to a staircase that led upwards, "He really eats people!"

Malik was following him, panting as the flight of stairs continued upwards, "Well, duh, Bakura! That's what fat people do!"

The building shook once again and the boys knew it was that monster, ramming his obese body against the front, trying to enter. Through the Factory was strong, fortified with only the sturdiest metals and steel, it wouldn't be too much longer until the walls gave way to Flyswatter's great mass.

They came to another floor, this was probably the fourth one they'd arrived at and there was still no sight of what they were searching for.

"Well, where exactly would something like a main computer be?" Malik looked around at the labels on doors and peeked inside a few windows quickly, "Why don't they have a sign or something!"

"Okay, okay, don't panic, I'll find it."

"What? And just how are you going to do that?"

"Don't doubt my powers! Now…" Bakura cleared his throat and closed his eyes. They were currently in a hallway, sectioned into six other pathways and then a seventh door with was the staircase to the fifth floor. He stretched out one of his arms and twirled round and round until he got dizzy and stopped. When he opened his eyes, he was pointing the third hallway. "Yup. That's the way we go."

"…" Malik stood, seemingly emotionless and blank-eyed, "…. You're stupid."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you just wait and see!" Bakura walked off in a huff and though Malik thought that this had to be one of the stupidest things he'd ever seen anyone pull, he went along anyway. After all, what was the worst that could happen? In his mind, they were doomed from the start.

The Factory rocked more and more as they continued down the predetermined path, led by Bakura. Malik could've sworn the building was just about uprooted from its foundation with the last shake. It felt as if Flyswatter was ramming his entire body onto the about equally sized building. The ceiling above them began to crack, the plaster broke down and fell onto their heads, but they trekked onwards.

Finally, after hearing the increasing screams from floors below, they arrived at the end of the long hallway and there stood a lone door with red tape across the front, baring the words, 'Do not enter. No, really, we mean it.'

Bakura grinned back at his partner who sighed, aggravated.

"Let's just go in."

Malik walked pasted Bakura, a bit of caution in his footsteps, and tried the doorknob. To both their surprise, it was open and the door gave way to Malik's light touch. What was then revealed to them was a large, metallic room, wires all around, fuse boxes and a few rats scurrying into corners.

It was dark in there and as they ventured forth, Malik felt around the wall by the door, finding a light switch and it allowed them minimum light.

"Hmm… What do we have here? Aha! See? I told you! Look at that!" Bakura's grin widened when, in the back of the room, he spotted a computer the size of a small bathroom, buttons decorating the sides, a large, blank screen and one lone lever right under the screen. The lever was a bright red and stood out from every other blue and gray thing in the room.

"Tch." Malik huffed, "You don't know if that's the thing we're looking for."

"Well, do you see any other suspicious looking computer in this room?"

He looked around briefly and then muttered, "No…"

"Ha ha."

"Oh, shut-up. And while you're at it, call Marik and Ryou."

"… Why should I?" Bakura frowned, now getting defensive. He wasn't used to getting ordered around by any hikari. Other than his.

Malik put his hands on his hips in a superior manner, "Because. We need to know if they've found the computer over at Alpha. I'm not saying that this is the one we're looking for, but it could be… and if it is, we need to shut them off at the same time. So there."

"… Fine." He said, dignifiedly, adjusting his headset and waiting for static from the other end of the line, "But I'm not doing this because you told me to. I just feel like it."

"Well, I hope you feel like getting a move on."

Bakura glared, "You know, someday, something bad is gonna happen to you for that attitude of yours. It's karma. What goes around goes around and around."

"…" A blank stare, "I'm not even going to acknowledge that."

Suddenly, the wall to the left of the arguing boys crashed down and from out of the dust and smoke of the obliterated wall, came a giant hand, reaching in and randomly grabbing Malik by the waist, the volume of the body part almost engulfing him.

"AAAHHHH! HELP ME!" Malik screamed as he was pulled out of the building and into midair, soon to behold the deranged face of the mad, monstrous Flyswatter. He flung his head back and laughed viciously and hardily.

Looking down at the spot inside the room where he once was, Malik could see Bakura, on the ledge of the broken wall and floor, starring up at him.

Malik banged on Flyswatter's hand with his delicate fists and shouted, "Stop it! Put me down, put me down! Bakura! Help me!"

Bakura blinked and looked up, shouting back, "KARMA!"

"… DAMN YOU, KARMA!"

Somewhere close to Domino, about a thousand feet in the air, a little angel was floating fast to its destination. Well, technically, it wasn't an angel, but to people looking up from below, it certainly looked like one. In all actuality, it was a boy of about eleven years of age, being carried across oceans and land by a dove.

They had been going for a while now, zero to no conversation, because they both knew they didn't get along too well and talking would only bring up arguments. The pair sailed in the sky faster and faster towards the oppressed city until it was finally in sight, no longer a memory for the boy, but real and right in front of him.

"Ah… There it is!" Mokuba pointed to the city and the large, golden palace in the center, the source of all this discord and chaos.

Mr. Dove blinked, 'So that's where you want to be dropped off, kid?'

"Mmm… Dunno." He bit his lip for a moment, thinking. 'Where exactly are those four, anyway? I… don't really remember anyone saying anything about-'

'Hey, c'mon, this isn't the Pony Express. I have places to be, so make up your mind.'

"Gimme a second! I-" His sentence was cut off by a not-so-distant scream, coming from the south. Both boy and bird looked that way and their eyes widened in surprise and shock.

It seemed that a one hundred foot giant was smashing and terrorizing a building to the south and the somewhat familiar scream came from the being in his left hand, a blonde boy who was flailing and wailing, calling for help.

Mokuba gasped, "Malik! Hey, Mr. Dove, that's Malik! I think that fat monster's gonna eat him!"

'… And so how does this affect me?'

"You heartless dove! Fine, you can go about your business but just take me over there and hurry!" The small boy ordered and Mr. Dove rolled his eyes, but obeyed as they hurriedly flew to the site where that Egyptian was in distress.

Over yonder, Flyswatter had lost interest in the Factory's destruction and had become preoccupied with the boy in his hand. In his primitive mind, he mistook Malik's delicious tan for delicious seasonings on a side of beef and was currently tenderizing the young teen thoroughly.

He had thrown Malik onto his cellulite covered knee and was bouncing him like a soccer ball, up and down repeatedly and then onto his ankles where Malik was then used as a hackysack.

"I-I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!"

Bakura watched the boy go up and down, round and round, "Karma can be painful."

"S-SHUT UP!"

After being softened and shaken to the point of being medium well-done, Malik was taken off the large knee and lifted to the fat man's greasy lips.

"ME GONNA EAT YOU!" He spoke with reverence, and pieces of chicken flew out of his mouth as he shouted at Malik, covering the boy with fatty, regurgitated goo. His face turned green.

Malik was crying profusely now and as he was getting ready to be placed in Flyswatter's mouth, Bakura called to him, "Stay strong, Malik!"

"I hate you…!"

Just as he was about to be popped inside the moist cavern, a white flash came across Flyswatter's vision and a small but gallant voice called out, "Leave him alone, you big naked meanie!"

The big, naked meanie was caught off guard and accidentally dropped his meal, the teen falling out of his grip and screamed on the way down until he fell into the somewhat familiar arms of his partner. Malik shook his head and looked up at Bakura who had a wise expression on his face, "It's-"

"Karma! I know, okay, I know." Malik frowned, grumpily and then looked up at the naked monster, swatting at something tiny and almost unseen, "Um… What the hell is that?"

"I think it's some kid being carried by a bird."

"What?" Malik looked closer, and then gasped, "Mokuba! Mokuba, stop that, get out of here before something happens to you!"

Up in the sky, surrounding Flyswatter's chubby face of doom, was Mokuba, directing his carrier dove to maneuver around the fat man's head and hands as he tried to hit them.

'This is insane! Why are we doing this?' Mr. Dove screeched as they barely missed another offending body part.

"Malik was in trouble, we had to do something!" Mokuba panted then looked down at the teen who was safe in Bakura's arms, "B-But, he seems to okay now! We need to get out of here!"

'My sentiments exactly!'

As Mr. Dove dodged another blow, they redirected and were trying to get away from Flyswatter, but he roared at them which scarred the dove immensely and his talons opened for a split second. Mokuba's eyes widened as he realized that he was falling, faster and faster and the sky grew further away until all was dark.

Malik and Bakura looked on in horror at what they had just seen. Flyswatter blinked as he felt something trying to go down his throat and he chewed and swallowed it.

Mr. Dove looked down and saw that Mokuba was no longer with him but had fallen into the monster's gullet. 'Oh no! … Eh, who cares. I'm goin' to Vegas.'

He turned and was off, flying towards the west.

Malik jumped out of his partner's arms, shouting out into the air, "MOKUBA!"