A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 36:

"I said… the Shadow monsters are in the castle as we speak…!"

"Yeah, you see, I heard what you said. I just don't intend to listen to it, nope, not me." Marik folded his arms and turned away.

Malik shot him a dirty look, "Will you stop being such a child? Why can't you grow up?"

"The same reason you can't shut up."

Malik's eyes widened, "Why you little…!"

"Listen, Malik, if we acknowledge what this guy is telling us then you know what'll happen. It'll become our problem and we'll be forced to fix it!"

Ryou shook his head at the sight of Marik's back, "But don't you want to fix it?"

"Tch. No. I got what I came for, see?" He jiggled the rod in his hand, "And so whatever happens after this point is none of my concern. I'm going home."

"Ah, hello? Newsflash for Marik, we can't exactly go outside. If those monsters have gotten inside the building then there's probably thousands outside as well."

"… Damn." Bakura frowned, looking around the room, "So we're stuck in here? For, like, ever?"

"No, we're going to be EATEN by Shadow monsters!" Malik shouted, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. The people, who had previously been talking amongst each other and not really paying attention to anything happening on stage, were now wide-eyed at the thought of being eaten. The room was deathly quiet, everyone's eyes as big as saucers.

"Dammit, Malik…" Marik whispered to his light, "See what you did? Now these people are going to panic!"

"What are we going to do?"

Ryou shushed them, "Okay, okay… we'll just have to tell them the truth. But we have to make sure to tell them in an unalarmed, calm manner or else things will go from not-good to really not-good."

"Fine then, I'll take care of it."

"No, Bakura, I really don't think-"

The yami ignored his hikari's and Malik's pleas for him to stay put and he walked to the front of the stage, looking out at the people before him. He took a deep breath, "… RUN! EVERYBODY, RUN! AN UNSPEAKABLE HORROR IS ON ITS WAY TO KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! DEATH HAS SLITHERED INTO THE CASTLE AND IS HERE TO REAP YOUR MORTAL SOUL! DOOM!"

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"DOOM!"

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"DOOM!"

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"DO-"

"Will you cut that out?" Marik grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and Bakura stopped, grinning from ear to ear. "What in hell's name is wrong with you?"

"Should I make a list?"

"AAAAHHHHH!" The terrified screams of the inhabitants of Domino gained the boys' attention as they looked out at the sea of vibrating bodies. It seemed that Bakura's way of telling them in an 'unalarmed, calm manner' didn't work too well because the people were literally trampling on and killing each other to get out of the Great Hall.

After about a minute of hearing nothing but screams and seeing nothing but chaos, it soon ended when most of the masses were out of the room and were now running and trying to escape down one of the other hallways. The few that were left were either dead due to malicious crushing or they were on the floor in a fetal position, now truly traumatized.

Malik rolled his eyes, "Oh, that was a big help!"

Bakura frowned, "Is this that new thing called sarcasm?"

"Yes!"

"Ooohhh… my head…" Came a voice from the center of the room. The boys on the stage looked over and saw a little ball of black hair and, surrounding him, were small objects that glinted gold in the florescent lighting.

The boy sat up and while rubbing the back of his head, he looked up at the stage, "Huh…? Oh… Oh, hey, you guys! Marik, Malik!" He jumped up, momentarily forgetting his pain and anguish and stumbled to pick up the other millennium items as he went hoping over the dead bodies to get to the stage. When he arrived, Ryou helped him up and he wiped some sweat from his cheek.

"I-I almost died down there! What buffoon scarred all those people like that?"

"The buffoon standing next to me." Marik said, looking blatantly at Bakura.

"Enough with the sarcasm!"

"That wasn't sarcasm!"

Mokuba shook his head, "Alright, whatever… Um… I don't see my brother in here… Or Tristan, Joey or Otogi. I, heh, think they left with the others. C-Can I stay with you guys…?"

Bakura shrugged, "Why? We're going to die, too."

"BAKURA!"

"What?"

Malik chose to ignore the albino idiot and, upon noticing what Mokuba carried in his arms, he squealed and snatched the other millennium rod, "Ah! My rod, finally! Mokuba, what were you doing with it?"

"Oh, I found all the millennium items outside on the lawn! I thought that was weird and so I picked them up. Oh, Ryou, Bakura, here are your rings." When he'd given them back their items, he turned asked, "So, what are you going to do about the Shadow monsters?"

"Why does it have to be us?"

"Because!"

"… Well, maybe this hasn't dawned on anyone yet, but I'm not the one who let those monsters loose, Yami and Yugi did!" Marik pointed accusingly to the two who were knocked out on the floor, "So ask them to do something about it!"

Ryou looked at Marik, then at Mokuba and sighed, walking over and kneeling beside the two on the floor, "Um… Yami? Yugi? A-Are you two okay…?"

Marik groaned, "You've gotta be more forceful than that, Ryou. Look," He shooed the little Brit out of the way and then viciously kicked the boys in the face.

Ryou and Malik gasped, "That won't help!"

"Well, how else am I supposed to wake them?"

"You hit 'em pretty hard, Marik. Maybe they can't wake up?" Bakura eyed his friend who blinked in return.

"… Oh. Never thought of that."

"So, what do we do? Since those people ran away and the Shadows are in the building, they're probably dying as we speak." Mokuba made a gesture towards the entrance and they all stopped for a second, hearing a few screams and snarls in the distance, down the hallway. "Oh, I hope Seto's okay!"

"Well, if we're going to do anything to help them out, it's gotta be now, so what the hell are we waiting for?" Marik jumped off of the stage and landed on his feet, he was then followed by his hikari and then Bakura and Ryou.

Mokuba was dragging Yami and Yugi by their shirt collars since they were unable to move themselves and when he jumped off the platform, both boys' heads hit the linoleum floor full on at the bleeding started again.

"Oops. That was an accident."

"Why are you dragging those idiots?"

"I'm not leaving them to die. Eventually those monsters will come through here and when they do, they'll just kill them!" Mokuba scrunched up his face, "And too many people have died already. … Oh, c'mon, here's a way out. We can exit through there, I think."

The teens looked at the bleeding Yami and Yugi in disgust, but followed Mokuba's instructions and went out the side door of the Great Hall; Mokuba behind them, and Pharaohs' bleeding heads were leaving a trail of crimson on that nicely polished floor.

They had come into a long hallway and at the end of it was the real door that led to the outside, but before they were even half way there, that odd noise started up again.

"Dammit, Bakura, stop it with your howling! I have a headache."

"It's not me! I haven't howled in…" He checked his watch, "About ten minutes!"

Marik stopped and so did his hikari and Ryou. They all turned to Bakura with odd looks on their faces and Malik asked, "Well… If that wasn't you, then…?"

Ryou blinked, "Wait a moment, where's Mokuba?"

"RUN!"

A distant shouted echoed through the hallway as all four teens looked behind them to see a young boy running and dragging behind him, two older boys and as he stumbled over his own two feet, Mokuba kept running until he had caught up with the boys and then passed them, a trail of dust left behind.

"…" Malik tilted his head, "Hey, Mokuba, where're you off to?"

"RUN! MONSTER-CHASE-ME-YOU-RUN!"

Marik shook his head, "Man, Bush is right. America's youth is getting dumber! Mokuba can't even form a full sentence!"

"I think," Ryou tapped his chin, "He was trying to tell us that those monsters are close by and that we should run for our lives."

"… Really? Imagine that."

Suddenly, a glass-shattering screech reached their ears and as they turned abruptly to the left, their faces dropped and they began to do as Mokuba instructed and 'ran for their lives'. As they raced down the hall, a pack of thirty or forty Shadows monsters pursued them fast, streams of darkness and muck following their every move towards the door and the boys they were after.

As the distance between the Shadow creatures and their prey closed, Malik was the first of four to come slamming into the door at the end of the hallway and kick it open. He and his friends slid out of the half-opened entrance and shut it behind them as the monsters thumbed into it on the other side.

"Hold it or they'll get out!" Ryou cried and put his back against the door with the others helping. The force kept getting stronger and stronger as darkness oozed out of the sides of the door and the boys pushed harder against it.

"They're going to get out here, what do we do?"

"Hey, guys!" Mokuba was waving to them from around the corner of a large bush, "Guys, come over here I want to show you something, quick!"

"W-We're kinda busy right now, Mokuba!" Malik growled through clenched teeth, "What is it?"

He pointed backwards, "This is where Heidi and I found the millennium items in that circle!"

Marik shoved back against the door again, "Malik, this may be our only chance to get these things back into the Shadow Realm! If we c-can open the gate again, maybe the monsters will go back!"

"Are you forgetting that we don't know HOW?"

"Aw, c'mon! It's just a little Shadow magic, how difficult can it be?"

"You're kidding right!"

Marik snarled and pushed himself off the door and grabbed Malik by the wrist, whirling around he called back to Bakura and Ryou, "Try and hold the door you guys, we'll be back!"

"MARIK! You're not serious!" They shouted back at him, now having to dig their heels into the ground to keep the door from swinging wide open.

"Oh, I'm dead serious! One false more and you guys are toast! Later!" Was the last thing he said before grabbing the albinos' millennium rings and disappearing after Mokuba behind the bushes, his hikari still screaming at him to let go of his hand.

When they had apparently reached where Mokuba was trying to take them, Malik ripped his arm away from his other's grasp, "Marik! I can't believe what you just did to poor Ryou! … Oh, and Bakura too, I guess."

"Eh, Ryou's a tough old broad, he can handle it. It's Bakura I'm worried about, he just got a manicure."

"… I should really think about committing you."

Mokuba's voice brought them both back to reality and he pointed urgently to the ground where there was an imprint in the grass of each of the millennium items. "I don't know what happened, but I remember that when I picked up one of the rods, the light that was shining stopped. I still don't know what it means."

Marik shook his head, growling, "We do. Those idiots told us when we found them out here conjuring evil! They opened the damned Shadow gates using all the items!"

"EXCUSE US, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE MAKE HASTE?"

"That's Ryou! We need to hurry; they may not be able-"

Just as Malik was finishing his sentence, more Shadows come into view from all around. Not just the rather small ones like they'd been seeing but large as well, just about the size of the Palace doors and from up out of the open windows, they oozed out and came slithering down the walls.

"Perfect! You know, life just couldn't get any better!" Malik shouted in disbelief, scooting backwards and forwards all at the same time.

"We need to get open the gate!"

"We don't know how!" Malik reminded, "We might as well mark our own graves!"

Mokuba squeaked fearfully and ran over to the two Pharaohs on the grass, shaking and kicking them vigorously, "WAKE UP! PLEASE, WAKE UP!"

Suddenly, two screams sounded out nearby and the sound of a bang. All three boys stopped and looked to the side, seeing both Ryou and Bakura sprinting around the corner followed by hundreds of Shadow creatures, clawing and scraping after them. When the two boys reached the others, panting and gasping for breath, they turned and saw that all of the monsters crowded in at once, making a jump for the fresh pile of meat before them.

And just when everyone was watching their lives flash before their eyes, they heard low bellows and angry growls and something odd… like jingling.

They all opened one of their eyes at the same thing and almost fell over at the sight of seeing Cody right in front of them, warding off those awful ghouls from hell with a can of pennies that he shook furiously while shouting at them, "Boom-shaka-laka! Boom-shaka-laka, boom-shaka, boom-shaka, boom-shaka-laka-laka!"

"… I am so at a loss for words." Mokuba and Bakura echoed while the others just nodded astounded.

"Oh, 'ey guys!" Cody waved back with his free hand whilst he continued shaking it at the beasts with the other, "Guess I come right on time, ah yup yup? I heard yer girly screams so I tied Heidi to a rock sos she couldn't go no wheres and I came to rescue yas!"

Ryou shook his head, "Poor girl."

"Um… What the hell is that, Cody?" Bakura asked.

"Ohuh? This be me lucky pennies! Ain't nothing they can't do, but this here wont work forever so get on outta here!"

Marik threw down his and Malik's millennium rods, "We can't, we've gotta shut the Shadow gate or else we'll never be rid of these things!" He turned to the two albinos and then to Mokuba, "Put your items around the rods, you guys, make it so it's in a circle!"

They did as they were told and arranged the golden pieces so they were in a perfect ring in the grass, each item where it had once been earlier that night. Cody backed up a few steps as the monsters were getting braver and braver, not as afraid of the penny can as they once were and Cody gulped, loudly, "'Ey guys…? Ya might wanna get on with whatever you're doin!"

"We're trying, we're trying! Keep your hair on!" Bakura shouted back, "Isn't there something you're supposed to say to open the Shadow Realm? I don't know what it is though!"

Mokuba sighed, frustrated, and turned away from Yami and Yugi who were still out cold, "They're still not waking up, what should we do?"

Malik shrugged to his yami, "Should we wing it?"

"How the hell do you wing something like that?"

"I don't know; I was trying to be constructive!"

"Now isn't the time!" Ryou not-so-politely reminded them.

"WHAT THE 'ELL YOU FIVE DOIN'?" Cody screamed, abandoning his post and running towards them, eyes wide and questioning.

"We're trying to save the world from certain destruction and open the gate to the Shadow Realm, but we don't know the chant and Marik is being a butt-head!"

"Who're you callin' a butt-head, you butt-head?"

Cody blinked rather oddly and as the monsters came forward, scarring the boys into backing up, Cody waved and grinned, leaning over the millennium circle, "Aw, that's all? I can do that! See?"

Ryou called out, "Cody…! Be careful, they're right behind to! Look out!"

He simply spread his hands out in front of himself, palms facing down towards the items. Closing his eyes, a chant flowed from his lips, and it went a little something like this: "Boom-shaka-laka! Boom-shaka-laka, boom-shaka, boom-shaka, boom-shaka-laka-laka!"

Everyone tilted their heads to the side simultaneously and looked on, uneasily as all the items glowed, dimly and then brightly. And, just as they had not two hours ago, the items let out a blinding ray of radiance then two more and soon all were beaming and a yellowish-golden circle formed in the middle, opening up into a bottomless pit.

Suddenly, the pit expanded about a foot and then a swift wind followed, seemingly coming from inside the ring, however the teens and Cody nearby were not affected; in fact, the only ones who were affected were the Shadow beings that were surrounding the people on all sides. Not only them, but all over the world, in Australia and Canada, in the Netherlands and New York, all the monsters who had traveled far beyond a normal man's reach was sucked into the void.

The whole process lasted about five minutes as blob after blob of darkness was vacuumed into the hole and when it was through, when there were no more Shadows in the light world, the portal slowly closed, getting smaller and smaller until the light stopped glowing and the millennium items went back to their normal color.

Cody looked up at them, "Is that what you guys was wantin'?"

After a second of silence, Ryou almost collapsed to his knees, "I… just can't believe it…"

"That was really stupid." Bakura affirmed.

Marik shook his head and looked at Malik as they said in unison, "How'd you do that?"

"I went ta school and got me some learnin back in the day!" He said, proudly, "We did all these magic tricks and stuffs!"

"Riiight…" Marik blinked once and then shrugged, "Oh well, that takes care of our job. Good on ya, Cody."

Mokuba starred at them all strangely, and thought, 'I really need to hang out with people my own age…' Before his eyes wandered over to the left and he saw Yami and Yugi on the ground, still and lying down until Yami's head twitched to the side. Mokuba blinked and then Yami opened his eyes, Yugi's eyelids fluttering open right after his yami's.

Marik looked back and so did Ryou, Malik and Bakura as the two sat up, looking around.

"Oh, fabulous! NOW you get up!"

Two Days Later…

In the year 2004, the earth's population was about six billion. But after that month of suffering under Pharaoh Yami and Yugi's rule in early 2005, it decreased to two point three billion.

Not only was their way of slaughtering the people to be blamed but the Shadow monsters that they released to kill everyone didn't do anyone any favors. Those things traveled the world over, making sure to kill everything in its path and when they were sucked back into the Shadows, they'd already done some pretty heavy damage.

But, luckily, when asked what they would do about this horrid dilemma, Marik simply answered, "Now we finally have a use for teenage pregnancy! The population will be back up in no time, so shut up and get me something to drink."

Charming, isn't he?

Though, despite the fact that the world's population was down, the most important thing was if it would go down again, thanks to another strange personality change from the Kings of Games. After the monsters were gone, the boys made sure they wouldn't harm them and when they seemed back to their goody-two-shoes selves, this caused even more confusion, but two days later it was all cleared up…

"So you mean to say that it was a baseball?" Ryou asked, tilting his head to the side. He, his yami, Marik and Malik were all currently in the living room of the Game Shop, sitting across from Grandpa on a couch as he held an ice bag to his head.

The old man nodded, "That's right, it must've been because the last thing that happened was that rouge baseball hitting them both and when I woke them up, they kicked me and ran down the street killing people!"

Marik asked, "Well, do you know who threw it?"

"Nope. It just came out of the sky."

After shifting in his seat, thinking for a second, Bakura turned to Grandpa, "Here's a question… Why didn't anything happen to you? You weren't captured, weren't killed… how'd you escape it all?"

"Simple!" He smiled brightly, "I hid under a rock!"

"…"

"… Yeah…" Malik coughed, "Alrighty, then."

"T-Thank you for being so understanding! And again, we're SO sorry!" Came a distant call from the front door and Yami and Yugi came back into the living room, bowing their heads sorrowfully as they walked in. They had been speaking with the last of the people who had been affected in Domino. They had let all the prisoners go immediately and they made sure each of them knew that they were not acting on their own but that they had been bonked in the head.

Most people accepted the apology, mostly because they were forgiving and some just walked off, looking foreword to starting a new life under the sea. But most of everyone in Domino went back to their old lives as mush as possible. As for the Kaiba brothers, Seto wanted to move to Las Vegas where nothing as strange as this ever happened. But Mokuba talked him into staying and his large, puppy-like eyes also managed to get Seto to let him keep Flyswatter as a pet. After all, they had been through so much…

"Was that the last of them, Yugi?" His grandfather asked as the door shut behind the boys.

"Yes, Grandpa, it was." He nodded. "I… I feel so… so awful. Knowing what I did to all those people…"

Yami swallowed, "And the funny thing is… is that I don't remember any part of it, it was all a huge blank spot! I don't know how awful I was, but…" He twiddled his thumbs, "I just hope I didn't do anything unforgivable…"

"UNFORGIVABLE? I'LL GIVE YA UNFORGIVABLE, YAMI!"

Suddenly, everyone in the house stopped what they were doing and turned to see the door fly open and a girl with reddish, brownish hair and an awful grimace tearing up her face. She was followed by Cody who had been tagging along behind her for the past two days.

Heidi frowned and strutted up to the ex-pharaoh, and held up her hands, "Do you see these fingers? Well, do you?"

Yami vigorously shook his head, "N-No…"

"That's because I don't have any! You ordered them all chopped off! I only have two left, and what in the world am I supposed to do with two fingers, huh? Tell me!" She probably would've shaken him, if only she had something to grasp onto him with.

Marik whispered to his companions on the couch, "She's still mad about that? That girl needs to get a life."

Yugi got in front of his yami, shouting, "We're sorry! Um, whoever you are, we're very sorry for what happened to you! If there's anything we can do you help you, we will…!"

"WHAT can you do? Huh? WHAT?"

Yami had been frowning and feeling lower than dirt since the girl walked in, but now he smiled and grasped her palms, "I've got an idea."

And before she knew it, Heidi was sitting down on the couch with Yami holding her hands and super-gluing the fingers that were left on the dungeon's floor back onto her hands. When she was all done, her hands still looked mutilated and creepy and it wasn't like she could actually move the fingers, but she thought it would have to do. But there was something wrong. The ring finger on Heidi's right hand was no where to be found.

Yami shrugged, "Well, I can't glue it back on if I don't have it."

"Wasn't it supposed to be on the ground with the others?"

"Yeah, it was! Where could it be?"

And, all at once, everyone in the room looked over to the corner by the television set at the fifty-year-old man who was grinning from ear to ear and waving a finger around tauntingly.

Heidi stood up, "CODY! Dammit, give me my finger!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" He started out the door, "Ya gotta catch me first, Heidikins! Ha ha ha!"

"CODY!" She growled and chased after him, once around the living room and when he ran outside she was about to go after him, but stopped in front of Yugi and snatched the two blue shell earrings out of his ear holes, "And I'm takin' my earrings, too, you midget!"

With that, she ran out of the door, letting it slam behind her.

Malik sighed, "Well, that was odd." He got up from the couch, "Um, well, we'd better be going. I… I really need a nap."

"Yeah, us too." Ryou got up, taking Bakura's hand in his, though he pouted about it, "Uh… Well, Yugi… Yami, I certainly can say it's been interesting… But I do hope our next meeting will be a tad less… life-threatening, shall we say?"

Yugi blushed, "We're really sorry about that…"

Grandpa got to his feet and opened the front door for the boys as they began to walk away. "Well, boys I sure hoped you learned something from this mess! Every story has a moral, you know."

"Yeah," Marik nodded to himself and the others while walking out, "The nicer they are, the meaner they get when hit with a piece of sports equipment."

"I don't think that's what he meant, Marik." His hikari muttered.

"HEY, SERENITY, GO LONG!"

They turned around, suddenly, out to the front lawn only to see Joey throwing a football out to his sister, who failed to catch it and the ball went sailing until it met Ryou's forehead and the poor Brit fell to the ground.

Bakura's eyes went wide as he, Malik and Yugi helped him up, "Ryou? Are you okay?"

He lifted Ryou's chin with his fist and looked into the boy's cloudy eyes as he blinked, straining to see. Yugi tilted his head when Ryou said nothing and his usually happy expression was ripped in half by a wicked smirk. He threw his head back and laughed viciously, "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"…"

They all looked at each other.

And ran.

THE END…

Her Sweetness: Well, well. Seems I've finished. I'm so happy too. I'm free now! Well, I won't ramble; let's get to what you've been waiting for, okay? Yes! The First Annual Reviewer Awards! Let's get down to business, shall we?

First category. The Passion Award. This award is for the person/reviewer who has given the most emotion in his or her review. And the winner is… The Long Name Ending In Cookie! Yes, huzzah! –hands her a trophy shaped like me-

Second category. The Humor Award. This award goes to the reviewer who made me laugh the most during his or her review. And the winner is… Riku's Gurl! Congrats! –hands her a trophy shaped like me-

Third category! The Kawaii Award. This one goes to the reviewer who was so sweet and cute in their reviews I just couldn't help but go 'Aw!'. And the winner is… Princess Mika of the Shadows! Hurray! –hands her a trophy shaped like me-

Fourth category. The Praise Award. This one goes to the reviewer who continually showered me with praise throughout the entire fic and made me blush! The winner is… Ryua Malfoy! You did it! –hands trophy shaped like me-

And the FINAL category is the Inspiration Award. This particular award comes with a prize and it's for the person who I got inspiration from while she reviewed! Thank you to… Computerfreak101! Wee! –hands trophy shaped like me-

And that about it! But, to the reviewers who DIDN'T win, I'd just like to tell you THANKYOU for reviewing because without you, I wouldn't reach my goal and I wouldn't keep writing. And here's a prize for all of you to share! –holds up trophy shaped like me- And it isn't REAL gold. It's foil! You peal it off and there's chocolate! Don't fight!

Heh. And as for Compfreak, your prize is one one-shot. You tell me what to do and I'll do it! (Tell me in your review or an e-mail.) And, last, a huge shout out to HEIDI for being such a good sport! Yay!

Heh. Goodbye and Goodluck everyone.