Dedicated to these AWSOME people: The Psychologist (hehe thx!), Bunny Raven Rulez, Nikana, SaphireStars, Soraetowaru, xSwtLilAngel666x, Negitive Zero, Flapdoodle-Rhadamante, and Amoral Butterfly
SOOOOO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING! WRITER'S BLOCK SUX!
Chapter 9
That night, Clay was on his mat thinking…about Rai and their kiss…
He still couldn't believe that Rai had the same feelings! They both shared the painful fear of rejection.
Clay blushed and smiled when he remembered the cute little kiss that Rai gave him on his left cheek. Waving his hand in front of it, he silently declared that he would never wash that cheek again.
Suddenly, he heard the door creak open. Clay shot up when he heard the sound and he found Rai poking his head through the crack and grabbing the door handle tightly. Only Rai's head (cheeks burning hot) and his hand were visible.
"He's just being shy…" thought Clay with a laugh.
"You waitin' for an engraved invitation, partner?" he jeered.
Rai shook his head, revealing the rest of his body and entered the room. He was scratching his neck and blushing again.
"Um…Clay?"
"Yeah?"
"…can I sleep with you? All night?"
Clay raised an eyebrow. Why was Rai being so shy? They slept together a lot lately…hell! They just made-out!
"Sure." said Clay cheerfully, moving to the side slightly and pulling back the covers.
Rai smiled and got under them, moving closer to Clay and nudging his head in his neck. Rai was still blushing, making Clay laugh out loud.
"How come you're still blushing, Rai? We sleep together a lot!"
Rai looked away.
"Yeah I know…but…this time it's cause…uh…"
"Because what, Rai?"
"…I'm scared…" he said closing his eyes and tensing his bones.
"I'M SCARED! IS THAT ALL I CAN SAY! JEEZ, AFTER THAT LAST NIGHTMARE I HAD, I MIGHT JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!"
Clay didn't know what to say at first. Now he knew why Rai was blushing…
"Rai, that's nothin' to be ashamed of…that must've been one hell of a nightmare."
Rai nodded silently and hugged Clay tighter. He didn't need his teddy bear now that he had Clay.
"…it's ok to be afraid…" Clay whispered in Rai's ear, kissing him tenderly down his neck. Rai's chest was flooded with relief as he kissed Clay back, their lips joining and their tongues enjoying themselves in different mouths. Clay pressed closer…going deeper. Rai gasped slightly but quickly adjusted to it, doing the same to Clay who was more than willing to let him return the favor. Clay leaned more to the left so he would lie slightly on top of Rai, while still kissing him. Rai put his hand on the back of Clay's head and pulled him closer…begging for more.
Clay gave his lover what he wanted and moved completely on top of Rai, removing his white and green/orange shirts while gently sliding them off of Rai's shoulders and threw them across the room.
Clay glanced at Rai, who was shaking lividly, and his emerald eyes were tinted with fear and the faintest signs of tears.
Clay's expression softened and he gently kissed away the small, salty tears that fell from Rai's eyes.
"Are you sure about this?" Clay whispered, a blast of fire inside his chest was begging for Rai to say yes. Just looking at Rai made the fire hidden inside him for so long grow by the second. His small, thin body…the tanned skin that was exposed to Clay's almost hungry blue eyes. He wanted it…so badly…
Rai couldn't answer Clay's question, all he could do was close his eyes and look away. In truth, he DID want to do it with Clay…but…what would it be like? Would it hurt?
In the black oblivion of silence, Rai looked up with wet eyes, and nodded.
Clay smiled widely in pure delight as he took off his own shirt, hat, scarf and gloves, eager to claim Rai…to taste him…
Clay gingerly slid his hand on the back of Rai's head and kissed him passionately as Rai kissed back, holding him in a tight embrace. Their tongues once again met and visited different mouths. Rai groaned and pulled in closer, becoming more comfortable in Clay's mouth and forgetting his worries about sex in a blissful few minutes kissing his lover. Clay's hair brushed over Rai's forehead and to Rai's joy, two very large arms embraced him back. The two friends broke off for a moment, gasping for air. Rai looked at his friend with a look of relief and thankfulness as he rested his head on Clay's shoulder, pulling him closer.
"…Clay…promise…not to…hurt me?" whispered Rai in a hopeful voice, his eyes fearful. Clay set him down and didn't even look the brunette in the eye…all he could look at was Rai's chest…not even answering him. Clay did not listen. His own hormones clouded his hearing…and himself. Clay just moved downward, stroking Rai's hip and staring at where his friend's groin was supposed to be, which he planned to expose.
"C-Clay?" Rai's lip quivered and he was shaking in fear, because Clay didn't answer his question…a very important question that needed to be verified. Rai's eyes welled up with tears again when he saw that Clay wasn't even looking at him…he was just staring at Rai's body with half-closed eyes that were clouded by lust and desire…they were not the blue eyes that would always hold kindness…affection…purity…all he wanted right now was Rai's body…not his heart.
Tears were streaming down Rai's cheeks and his heart raced as he felt a warm, large hand slowly unbutton and unzip his khakis…slowly sliding them down to his knees…the same hand tugging at his boxers…
"NO!"
Rai let his instincts take over as he threw Clay off of him with a strong gust of wind that slammed him into the wall. That's when Clay snapped back into reality. Clay was holding his head in pain.
"W-What in tarnation-"
Clay stopped talking when he looked at his friend, stricken by the look that Rai gave him. His emerald eyes were sparkling with fear while he was slowly backing away, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry!" Rai hollered as he pulled his pants back up and bolted out of the door, blinded by his own tears.
"Raimundo! RAIMUNDO!" Clay shouted, looking exactly the same as he did at the end of the cookie dough incident- his desperate eyes, his arm reaching out to Rai, knowing that he would never catch him, no matter how much he wanted to.
Clay put his shirt back on and dashed out of the room, remembering that Rai turned left. Running as fast as he could, he charged down the hallway, anxious to catch Rai and set things straight again…
While he was running, tracking down Rai and figuring out which hallway he must've taken, the other half of Clay's brain was playing back the past, trying to find out why Rai was crying.
All he could remember was Rai allowing him to take off his shirt…and after that…was a blur…all he could remember was pleasure…pure lust…
Clay stopped abruptly in his tracks, panting like crazy, but at the same time, afraid of himself. Staring at his gloved hands, his oceanic eyes were painted with confusion and the surprise.
"What…what did I do to him?"
Clay winced and continued looking for Rai. If Rai didn't tell him what he did…if…he…didn't trust Clay anymore…
That thought tore him apart. Clay broke down into small sobs, still running, still looking for his love.
"Raimundo…" he hiccupped, his shoulders twitching and leaning against a pillar, letting his tears fall.
"What did I do?"
He would never forgive himself if he hurt Rai. He curled up into a ball and sobbed into his knees…hoping…pleading that he didn't hurt Rai…
"CLAY!"
Before Clay even had a chance to turn around, two thin and long arms wrapped around Clay and Clay's shoulder was quickly wet with tears as Rai bawled.
"Rai…my love…"
Clay turned his body around and allowed Rai to cry in his chest as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.
"Clay, I'm so sorry!"
Clay almost angrily thrusted Rai forward so he could look him in the eye. Rai's green eyes were again wet with tears, begging for forgiveness.
"What are you talking about! Why are YOU sorry? What did I do to you!"
Hot, livid tears poured from Clay's eyes as he saw Rai shut his eyes and look away.
"You…you tried to pull my pants and my boxers down…and…I got scared…" choked Rai, wanting to hug Clay again so badly, but his friend backed away…horrified and cupping two hands over his mouth and crying harder leaving Rai on his knees.
How…how could he? Clay could not believe himself…his own greed…his own lust had consumed him…AND HE ALMOST RAPED RAI!
"DAMNIT! NO!" Clay screamed, yelling wordlessly and punching the wall with all his might, brick crumbling to the ground and dust swirling around in the hall.
Rai backed away slowly. He was almost frozen with shock. His eyes widened and he started to sweat. His worst fear had been realized- Clay was taking his anger out on physical objects…Clay…shattered…his self control was crumbling like the wall he had demolished. Rai's heart raced as Clay charged into another wall, causing yet more destruction and chaos…drawing blood from his arm…re-opening the wound in his ankle.
Rai couldn't take it…he couldn't see his friend like this…it would destroy both of them…
"CLAY! STOP IT!"
Before Clay could throw another punch, Rai pounced on top of him and forced him to the ground, clamping onto his friend…refusing to let go.
"Stop Clay…please…you'll destroy the temple…" begged Rai as he wept in the chest of his lover.
At once, Clay was brought back to Earth by Rai's words…
"What am I doing! I just destroyed about four walls in the hallway…I'll get into so much trouble…and Rai…poor Rai…he's never seen me like this…in fact…neither have I…"
Clay's expression softened and he gently placed his hand at the bottom of Rai's chin and led it up so Rai could look at him. Clay wiped away Rai's tears with his gloved thumb and embraced him again.
"I'm sorry Rai…for everything…this has never happened to me before…" he choked out, sobbing on Rai's shoulder…shaking in crystal fear of himself…
Rai knew why Clay snapped; he was just beginning to show his emotions to Rai, which led to him opening up…and letting his emotions flow freely…now that he loved someone. Rai understood why Clay wasn't used to dealing with his own feelings- he had seen Clay's father, being a little hard on him and not allowing him to show his feelings, forcing him to push them down and swallow them…hiding them from his father so he wouldn't let him down…so he wouldn't think he was weak…
Rai brought Clay closer, allowing him to cry…stroking his straw hair lovingly and placing light, angelic kisses on his head.
"It's ok Clay…cry as much as you want…"
You're gonna have to get used to dealing with emotions soon…because…you can't hide forever…