Disclaimer: Saiyuki belongs to the insanely talented Kazuya Minekura. I just like to play with her creations.
This story is dedicated to the brilliant Befanini whose stories are nothing short of sensational. Thank you for such wonderful stories and opening my eyes to the wonderful pairing of Sanzo and Gojyo.
Fooling Myself
I had always told myself it was just infatuation. The urgency with which we came together and devoured each other's flesh was anything but "love". It was pure unadulterated lust.
I had always told myself that it was just a relationship of convenience. We had been traveling companions for so many years it was inevitable that we would seek each other out for comfort. I'm only human after all and every human needs to belong to something or someone and he was my someone. It was basic instinct.
I had always told myself that once the journey was over, that it would be the end. Why should we stay together? I had responsibilities in my life….a path….which I wasn't going to abandon. And he had….well, he didn't have anywhere to go. He was free to do as he pleased.
Perhaps that is why he decided to stay by my side. It's the only explanation that makes sense in my mind. Why else would he stay with me? He can get companionship anytime, anywhere from anyone he chooses. He's just that charming, the bastard.
"Hey beautiful, stop over thinking things and come to bed. I'm cold."
"Che."
I told myself these things for years. They were my personal mantra. But then one night, as we lay together in the quiet of the night, secure within each other's embrace, he enlightened me. Me, the monk, obtained enlightenment from a beer drinking, cigarette smokin' half-breed. He brushed my damp bangs from my forehead and kissed me on the forehead, right over my chakra. Then he gazed into my eyes and told me the truth.
"I love you."
That's all he said. He didn't wait for a response or try to further explain himself. He just gave me that smile that could talk me into anything and then closed his eyes and fell asleep. Bastard. How could he have said such a thing and then fall asleep? But I could tell by the content smile on his face that he didn't do it out of malicious intent. He did it because he knew. He knew I had been fooling myself and that I needed to be brought into reality.
I kissed his cheek and closed my eyes. So this was the real world, huh? Me and him. Together. Happy. I could live with that.
The End.