When the door finally shut, Max reflected that she hadn't felt this tired in a long time. She wondered half-heartedly if her shark DNA would take pity on her and let her sleep the next week away.
Locking the door firmly, Max turned back to the couch, where Alec was sprawled out, looking rather exhausted himself. Of course, Max didn't blame him, she'd had no idea how emotional a family was, or how much she found herself wishing she'd had one. "Hey there."
Alec opened one eye and glanced at Max, a hint of a grin on his face as she walked closer. "Hey."
Noting that Alec didn't seem to be up to nearly his standard of Smart-Alec energy, Max kneeled down next to him, tentatively putting her hand over his, "You okay?"
Exhaling a shaky laugh, Alec shook his head, "Nope. You?" He looked down at Max and wondered if she'd felt as out of place as he had. It was kind of like being a specimen again, examined on all angles, only the glances had been kind, and that had made it even worse.
Biting her lip slightly, Max remembered why they'd decided to meet everyone all together, so that there would be at least one other person who understood. She had to remember that she could talk to Alec about this and he wouldn't think that she was crazy. "I – it was amazing, you know? They didn't know us and yet they loved us and… I remembered what it was like and could only think of having known them sooner…"
Cutting herself off, Max rested her head against Alec's stomach, on the verge of tears and refusing to let them fall. She wouldn't cry over Manticore, over what they'd done, not again.
Resting on hand on Max's back, since the other was in her grasp, Alec nodded even though he knew she wasn't watching him. Gulping slightly, he began, "It was weird having them there… hard too… pretending… fitting in? They're so…"
Muffled from against the fabric of his shirt, came Max's reply, "Human."
Slowly, trying to puzzle out his reply because that had been exactly what he meant. "We're human too."
"I didn't feel it."
"Me either," they were both silent for a minute.
It was something that would be hard to explain to a normal person. It had been different from dealing with Maria and Emily, harder. There were so many emotions that the others had expressed, that had seemed to fit, but simply weren't there. Like looking inside yourself and finding empty spots where you knew something fit, but it just wasn't there.
Confusing, watching everyone else know their place while being an outsider to the customs. Worse still, there had been new pain in avoiding the Manticore memories that came at every turn of the conversation. Sharp pain from the stark realization that they had been deprived of something integral to being human.
"You were there longer," hardly a new realization, but with a new stinging attached to it.
Keeping his eyes closed and head back, Alec nodded, "Yeah."
"It was-"
Cutting her off, jaw clenching, "Yeah," it didn't need to be said.
Sitting back on her heels, so that she could look at Alec directly, Max clenched Alec's hand tighter, waiting until he opened his eyes and looked at her. Winced at the bitterness and pain that she knew must be reflected in her own as well, and swallowed down the lump of admitting weakness. "I'm glad you were there."
Resting her head back on Alec's stomach, Max closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, knowing that she was unlikely to sleep anyway. After a moment, Alec let out a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah," his hand rubbing absent circles on Max's back.
They stayed that way for a long time, well into morning. Alec's hand rubbing Max's back, and her hand clasping his, eyes closed.