As the two people stood across the threshold from each other, they had never felt so final. Max realized that they hadn't even spoken in weeks, not since the sobbing phone call over the cure and Alec's prank. Realized, with a twinge of guilt, that she hadn't even thought about Logan recently.
It seemed like their little non-relationship had been over for ages. Everyone else thought so too. She still cared about Logan, God she hoped he felt the same, otherwise… "Hey, got your page… figured I'd swing by."
Logan stepped out of the doorway, and she walked in. Still startled by the news of this morning. Still startled by how young she was. "Good, it's good you came. We have lots to talk about."
Max looked up, down, and, finally, at Logan. Looked him in the eyes, and nodded. "Yeah, we do."
"I guess," he seemed awkward, unusually so for the computer hacker, "I guess I'll start… You know I'd been working on getting cure information out of Manticore archives. I found some… well, I found it. The cure."
As Max stared at him wide-eyed, in an unusually open expression of shock, Logan hastily continued, "I realized then, in that rather late way that I seem to realize everything… I realized that it doesn't matter."
Sharply, Max looked up, unblinking eyes focused on Logan as he struggled to continue. "I thought, I thought that everything that had been wrong, felt wrong, was because of the virus… We had our chances, and we missed them. It feels like…"
Softly, Max interrupted, realizing how hard it was for Logan to be explaining all this, "Like our chance has been over for a long time?"
Breathing out a sigh of relief that Max understood, had felt it too, Logan nodded. "Exactly. I think I finally understood when I met Maria," he paused, shaking his head at Max's astonished look, "No, not that little fiasco… Just, I don't think I always realized how young you are, Max; you've always been so mature."
Ruefully, Max shrugged, seeing how sincere Logan was being, it reminded her why none of that had ever mattered before. "Part of the territory, I guess."
Looking straight at her, Logan felt the need to clarify. "I still love you," saw her wince, "just maybe not as-"
There was that look again, the one that always reminded Logan that no matter how many years Max was lacking, she more than bested him in experiences, and not nearly enough of them nice. Max offered a sad half-smile, "It was always so much easier when we were just good friends… I think, maybe it would have been better if we'd just stayed that way."
Feeling tired and suddenly, old, Logan nodded. Wondered why all that wisdom that was supposed to come with age had just disappeared when he'd met her. "Yeah."
Knowing that her number was up, Max took a deep breath, looked up at Logan, "I've been seeing Alec…" Winced, waited, wondered if it sounded as harsh outside of her own head.
"Oh…" Logan sucked in a breath and realized he'd known this was coming for months, "It-" of course it hurts "it's okay… hell, we've been done for a long time, haven't we." Doesn't make it easier.
Max just looked down, hands folded nervously in her lap, playing with the zipper on her jacket. She wished that they'd been able to work out when it had still been possible; at the same time she was glad they hadn't. Everything always had been so complicated. "Logan," she reached out, and then faltered, unsure what else there was to say.
Logan stood suddenly, tired of how painful, how serious and complicated every conversation with Max became. Determined not to let this one end like that, not to let her walk out of his life again. "So, I got it, you know," saw her look up out of the corner of his eye, "the cure. Figured it wouldn't be any good to have a friend that was afraid to come within a foot of me."
When he turned, they were both smiling, just about as happily as was possible for them. Max took the offer as what it was, back to just being friends. Wondered if it would ever be easy to be just anything with them. "Well, good, don't want one little hug killing you."
But she didn't hug him. Recognized it as too soon, too strange. Didn't touch him. Just nodded, offered her little half smile again, "Bye, Logan," she paused as the mask that usually hid her emotions wavered, but the sad little smile persisted, "gotta jet."
She waited until Logan replied, his own voice forcibly cheery, "Bye, Max," before she turned out the door, closing it and walking away from the apartment, down the stairs instead of the elevator.
It had never sounded so final.