Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Sora… coughiwishcough
Warning: Slight spoilers, slight OOC, and small mention of blood.
Sometimes Sora thought he was going insane.
This didn't happen frequently, no… It happened when he wasn't very busy. In the gummi ship waiting waiting waiting to land… When he lost himself in thoughts of nothing… it happened at times like those.
There was really no way to describe it. It was… disorienting and upsetting and so completely wrong that it sent chills up his spine when there was no cold wind or anything else to make him shiver.
Sometimes he lived in dread, waiting –always waiting, he was so sick and tired of waiting— but other times he forgot that it even existed at all. The other times were always when he was talking or fighting or laughing or even crying… so when he did remember, and even sometimes when he didn't, he talked and fought and laughed and cried with an edge of desperation that Goofy and Donald dismissed as exhaustion or perhaps they didn't even notice.
But try as he might, they always came back. It was so strange… they were like… memories? Nightmares? Hallucinations? What were they? It bugged him constantly when he did remember them.
They came the hardest and fastest after a big fight. And they even came after the smaller skirmishes with Shadows. Blood and blood and so much blood. He would go down, Keyblade flying from his hands and there was a heartless on his chest, claws prepared to—
And then black. And the cold… So very cold… It was all around him and pressing and pressing and there was no escape…!
There was just his heart. Crystalline and beautiful and not in his chest. Then he would wonder briefly: Where are Kairi and Riku? Where's Goofy and Donald? Where am I? And he was alonealonealone… with only his heart floating and glowing and pulling at his chest (Why was his heart up there? What was going on?). He would stay like that for forever and an eternity waiting and waiting and WAITING –for what? He never did know…but he was waiting more… always more…-- then he would be up and running and talking and fighting and laughing and crying… and it never really had happened.
Whenever he first came out he never remembered what had happened beside a faint impression of blackness and cold, but Goofy and Donald didn't look worried so he figured it was only a weird daydream (daymare more like) and went on running and talking and fighting and laughing and crying. But it would come back, different every time with a different opponent, a different heartless...
Then… after the battle with Riku, it had actually happened. There was nothingness and loneliness and an ache deep inside the left side of his chest that got more painful as time passed. But this time… there was something else. Voices and running and fellows, brethren, brothers, sisters all around… and there! Lifefood, precious, warm and not cold. But no… not Lifefood? …Not Lifefood! Then there was Kairi's voice and… the darkness and cold melted away, weak in the face of fierce and delicate Kairi.
But even after it happened for real, they kept coming, faster and faster then before. They slowed down after Kingdom Hearts was sealed – Riku… Riku…Riku...— But they didn't stop. They seemed… worn now. Like a memory forgotten for a long time that you remember again. They were still there though… Always.
So… Sometimes… Sometimes Sora really thought he was going insane.