Fanfic by blueroseulan

October 1, 2005

AN: Okay chapter two guys! I hope you review! And RK doesn't belong to me...

Previously on chapter 1:

K"No-nothing… I…I'm just… happy… Really happy Kenshin…And yes… I wan to travel the road with you… I want to stay by your side always…. I don't ever want you to go…" Looking directly in his eyes she felt overwhelmed with the staggering emotions she felt for this man.

"I'll never go… Kaoru… I'll never go faraway from you…" he murmured, kissing her forehead, trembling with the euphoria he felt with her acceptance." Even the stars will tell you… that I need you so… I need you Kaoru… And this is all I know… I'll never go far away from you

K
N
K

"Kenshin…" she whispered to no one in particular, sapphire eyes opening as she scanned the room for any signs of the man. He's not here… maybe doing breakfast… A smile found its way on her lips. That night…she thought, eyes turning wistful. That night changed our lives… the turning point of it… True, as it is her words for it was the time Kenshin admitted what he really felt. One that was mirrored by her. I can never remember any time else that made me so happy… I've never felt so happy before….she recollected as she turned to gaze at the window.

They were now truly husband and wife in every sense—that is except marriage. Kaoru refused to get married. I want to get married… when I can walk again… I can… and I will… we'll just have to wait…" she remembered admitting that to him one night as she lay in his arms. She knew he would understand, what she felt, why she thought of it… And that was what she loved him for. He never ceased to value her presence no matter what a burden she had become.

Burden... Yes I am a burden to him…

The smile that had found its way on her lips, twisted into a frown. That was true… Painfully true and she didn't have the heart to deny it. She didn't have the courage to admit it right in front of his face and yet… it still stayed there… in the back of her heart, in the corner of her mind.

"Kaoru? Are you up?"

Slightly jolted in her reverie, she looked up to see the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway.

"Hai." As one delicate eye brow rose, her sight fixed on the tray he was holding. Noticing her accusing gaze, he smiled sheepishly as he settled beside her. "Ah… I brought you breakfast in bed Koi."

"Kenshin, you know very well that I can eat in the kitchen."

"But I just want to…Yahiko is not here anyway. He spent the night in the Akabeko."

He watched her nod silently, slightly surprised with how quickly she had agreed. True, she had not yet lost her spirit, that terrible fire that had burned within her, but he could still sense that in a way, that burning flame had somewhat simmered down. He didn't know whether to curse or thank the gods for that.

"The dojo is building quite well Kaoru. It's a good thing Sanosuke had brought some of his friends to help in fixing it. "

A slight stare caught in the corner of his eyes as he noticed her push a forced smile on her face. Something is wrong…

"Kaoru, is there something wrong?" he asked, worry at once evident in his tone.

Inwardly, she smacked herself. There you go again Kamiya, pushing your poor husband to the limits! You should now better than to worry him… "Iie… I'm fine Kenshin… I'm just glad that everything is slowly going back to normal." Watching him eye her suspiciously, she dropped her gaze, afraid that one look and she might spill it all.

"Kaoru…"

She sighed. Yeah .right…I might as well drop it…Knowing her husband, she knew that when he used that kind of voice, he was really meaning to push the matter.

"Okay fine." Stubborn as she was, she couldn't help but face defeat in the hands of her husband. Himura Kenshin could be the sweetest thing alive but when it all boiled down to his stubbornness and hers, she almost not every…she thought… almost lost it to him. And yet again, Himura Kaoru is defeated. She sighed inwardly.

"Well?" he raised inquisitive, if not worried eyes towards her form, waiting for an answer.

She took a deep mouthful of breath. "I—I'll tell you later…to-tonight… "She stuttered. Unable to meet his gaze.

"Kaoru…"

"No…Kenshin…it's not important… really it isn't…" she denied, although she could feel the irritable sting of tears in her eyes. Turning to another direction, she avoided his eyes, not wanting to see the tears that were collecting on her own.

"But love… it's making you cry…" he protested, moving to touch her tears. She hesitated, avoiding his gaze and even his touch. One action that surprised the man.

"Kaoru, if it's making you cry, then it's probably hurting you. And you know that I don't want to see you hurt." That's the least I want to happen in this world. To see you cry. Because if your in pain love, then I am too.

She wiped her tears, quickly plastering a smile on her face. "Kenshin… I promise you. I'll tell you tonight… Don't worry…I-I'm f-fine…" she faltered, tone slipping to a hushed one. Though her lips echoed a smile, her eyes met his and silently begged to leave it alone. For a while.

She isn't ready…he realized. Let her be ready… for now…

"Sou desu ka.. Kaoru… Wakarimasu Demo,Itadakimasu ne?" he beamed, trying to lighten the tension that had unconsciously enveloped the whole of their room. A small smile lit her lips and she accepted the chopsticks that he handed to her. In companionable silence, she ate while he assisted her. Once in a while talking over trivial and light things just like any other couple would. But it was only about trivial and light things. It stopped there. No one dared mention a word about the earthquake or Kaoru's condition. It was supposed to be pushed in the darkest farthest corner of the dojo. Everyone—including Sanosuke and Yahiko knew that.

"Would you like to change?" he asked quietly after she had finished her meal. Slightly blushing, she nodded, only somewhat embarrassed with the notion. Ever since the earthquake, she was now unable to dress herself, legs quite unmoving and only causing her great pain. Megumi had helped her with that. She had stayed for almost two weeks in the dojo to assist her with her needs. Being a paraplegic was something not so easy a task. Aside from the physical pain, it also dealt you with something emotional as well. Her disability had stemmed depression in her system and watching the doctor—the same woman she had scorned—care and do things for her—it was way deep down Kaoru's emotional pride.

But everything changed when Kenshin finally confessed his true feelings for her.

Though they were still not legally married, they were husband and wife in every possible aspect. They shared one house, under one roof. Both had decided to share his name as well. Her name now decisively changed to Himura Kaoru. They shared a room, they shared a bed. With that matter in mind, Kenshin had been given the freedom to touch her, and savor every part of her being. To know every curve and every fibers of her, that her own naked body was not so unknown to his. He was given privilege—that according to the rascal—to dress and undress her in the waking and sleeping moments of the sun. She was no longer shy, just slightly flushing whenever she felt his hands creep sensuously down her skin and there were times—many a time to be exact—when both couldn't hold out the fire the man stoked.

"There all finished now." He murmured in her ear as his chest braced her upward weight and his hands deftly tied the obi behind her back. Noting the flushed look on her face, he kissed her softly in her lips, eyes gentle and calm. She shuddered, ever so slightly, able to feel his love and compassion for her very being with only that small kiss. It was something so powerful really, and she was nevertheless astonished by the intensity of it.

"Ready to come out now love?" he breathed into her ear. Nodding, he carefully scooped her in his arms, cautious not to put anymore weight on her legs. With ease and superb strength, he slid the shouji open with a foot and steeped outside the chambers of their room.

"Nine hundred and ninety-eight."

Swish.

"Nine hundred and ninety-nine."

Swish.

"One thousand!"

Swish.

Watching the so called 'Tokyo Samurai" collapse into the ground, breath coming in short rapid pants, Kaoru smiled to herself. Yahiko is really growing into a fine man… He's even starting to outgrow me! That kid… Well… at least he's now the one in charge of the dojo and he never fails to practice…

Speaking of the dojo, her gaze traveled to the half-fixed building that had once been the Kamiya dojo. The earthquake had not been kind. Aside from taking away her legs, it had also taken the most precious gift her father had given her. Otou-san… I'm sorry… what happened to the dojo… I'm ashamed of my irresponsibility of what had happened… It was your gift father… and yet… Mentally, she knew that it was really not her fault. Really not her fault why an earthquake struck Tokyo so hard. Never in her wildest dreams did she wish for it to be taken away. As it also goes for my legs…But irrevocably, it had begun to take shape once again. Thanks to Sanosuke's help and his friends.

Jou-chan… don't worry… It's not gonna cost you anything… It's just a way of expressing my gratitude for what you've done for all of us these past few years."

Stunned by the man's words, she felt equally surprised when she felt him pull her in a brotherly embrace. Unable to do nothing more except to cry, she remembered his words, as clear as a day ringing in her ears.

"Jou-chan… don't cry… Everything will be alright… If only I could do something about it…" he muttered from under his breath, palms balling into fists while his arms were still wrapped protectively on his 'little sister'.

Now, the dojo was well on construction. And thanks to Sanosuke's help, and Yahiko's fuss to keep it in pristine order, she was almost completely happy. Almost…

"Hey Kaoru…"

Said woman turned to find the red head almost buried under a stack of books. Eyes widening, she had to collect herself in a few moments before she could speak again.

"Kenshin! What in the world! Where did you find those books and for whom are they for?" she asked quizzically, turning to help him place his load back on the wooden floor.

Grinning, an almost sheepish look passed his face while a hand rose to scratch the back of his head.

"Er—eto.. well… I was just thinking that you might be slightly bored… and so, I thought of finding you something to read." He admitted, a lazy smile tracing the contours of his lips.

--To be mirrored on her own, accompanied by a delighted voice, "Wow! This would certainly keep me busy…But Kenshin, " she stopped, throwing him a sudden questioning look, "Where did you find them?"

"Here and there… Koi… it doesn't matter. I just don't want to have my wife being bored." He smiled, grasping her hands and pressing a chaste kiss on her forehead. Standing up, he dusted his hands and looked on her, an almost apologetic smile on his face, "I have to go love… there are so many things I should do… and Saitou wants me to report in the department this noon."

Nodding in understanding, she watched him, with sad sapphire eyes, go. So many things have changed…After the earthquake…she added. Raking a hand over the unruly form of her hair, her gaze pointed upwards, where the sun was just climbing its place high on top of the sky. I wonder how Fujita-san reacted when he heard that Kenshin had accepted the offer from the police department. It had taken them so long to convince my husband to work for them… she sighed, eyes turning tearful. She never wanted Kenshin to go… away from home… and away from her. She was being selfish…she knew that money was indeed a welcome thing in the dojo—and yet… she just wanted Kenshin to herself… Kaoru, you're being selfish and downright unreasonable! She mentally berated herself. You know the dojo's running low on funds…and Kenshin's only trying to help…

A sigh once again escaped her dried lips. There, another reason given why she was such a total burden. With her disability, she couldn't teach kendo, and not teaching kendo meant not earning money, and not earning money meant… I could go talk to myself for long long hours for the day and never stop listing my reasons. She whimpered. Kenshin's doing so much for me… I'm afraid far too much… But what can I do? I have to admit that I really do need help in almost everything. Kaoru inwardly wailed as her mind reeled back to all the things her husband had done for her. He does everything! Cooking breakfast, cleaning the dojo, doing the laundry, working at the police station, cooking lunch, helping me move in the house, working at the garden., cooking dinner, helping me bathe, clearing the dishes, and mou! Even putting me to sleep and I can't do a single thing to help him! He even looks for things that may keep me busy and it only adds to the list of his chores!"

By now, miserable tears had been trailing down her cheek to drop on the open book in her lap. It was true. Kenshin was far too overworked. Aside from his daily jobs, she also added in the part of his burden. She possibly can't walk, and therefore cannot be able to move herself. She relied on Kenshin to help carry her to wherever place she wanted. It was so much of an embarrassment for her that she'd rather choose not to move in her place even after he himself had suggested to help her. No… helping me means so much additional work and I… Stubborn as he was, she'd rather suffer a long ache in the back than to see him tired and all the more weary.

"Kaoru?"

Startled by the sudden intrusion of her silence, she was surprised to see her prized student leaning over the porch pointing worried eyes on her.

"Are you alright? You seem a little pale…" he trailed off, dropping his gaze, knowing how uncomfortable their situation was.

She inwardly sighed. And Yahiko too…"I'm fine Yahiko…I'm just… well… er—go back to your training… I wouldn't want to bother you. I'm fine." He doesn't even call me busu anymore… Before, I would have bristled if he did… but now, I'm just dying to hear him tease me again.

"Kaoru," he muttered, nearing her and nearly towering over her seated form, "You are not bothering me. And if something's wrong, I'm just in the dojo. Got it?" he thumped his bokken on the floor, emphasizing his words. Ever since the earthquake, Kaoru had earned an unmistakable respect from the young man. Watching her bear pain with so much determination made his resolve strengthen to never again hurl another hurtful direction towards her. And besides… she's too fragile… It might end up causing more damage than I've ever intended. He rationalized.

"Oh well… it's back to training for me. Call me if you need anything okay?"

Nodding in slight obedience, she was quite surprised with the amount of concern Yahiko had been showing ever since the earthquake struck. He had been more considerate, more thoughtful and yes—even more obedient. Even so, she was confused. If it was pity he had been feeling, then, she would have gladly chosen his former attitude, the rude uncouth and brash young youth. For it was pity directed to her, which Kaoru most hated. I do not need pity… I never will… I don't need their pointing eyes…She never said it to anyone, even Kenshin, for she felt that they would never understand.

Or was it because, she could never admit that she'd had had enough pity for herself?

TBC…

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