Title: Manipulation of the Mind

Author: Trustno1

Disclaimer: Doctor Who related things property of the Beeb. Story, other characters and the Voice property of my disturbed little mind :-D

AN: Thanks to everyone who still reads and reviews!

Chapter XXII

Rose was clinging desperately to the Doctor with such force he was afraid she'd hurt herself. Arms encircled his chest, holding him so close he could feel the unnaturally rapid beat of her heart against his chest, next to his own two hearts that were also beating far faster than normal. Her entire body shook with terrified, exhausted and feverish sobs, and tears slid down her cheeks onto the soft brown leather of his jacket.

He had been sitting with her, holding her hand, thoughts of guilt and grief chasing each other through the corridors of his mind, and wondering what the hell he was going to say to her when she woke up for a little over three hours now. He had never been good at comforting humans, or understanding human emotions – he had shown that when he took Rose to see the annihilation of Earth, not thinking of the effect it would have on a person who in the last 24 hours had discovered there were such things as aliens (one of which had taken her hand and saved her life, whilst others had attempted to kill her); travelling through space was most certainly possible, as was time travel; and she had been inside a ship that was quite a lot bigger on the inside than the exterior suggested. He had also allowed her not only to see her father, long dead in Rose's opinion, when she had never seen him before, but he let her witness his death. He had shouted at her and stormed out on her after she tried to save him, but he realised it was his anger at himself for not understanding the immense effect it would have on Rose and allowing this to happen, that was manifesting itself as disdain for her and the human race, and he was ashamed at himself. And she was right – he was going to go get her, and fix the timeline, the moment he returned to the TARDIS.

And if he really searched inside himself, he knew that Rose's admission that for once he wasn't the most important man in her life, had had some surprising effects on him, and was definitely a factor in his childish, domestic storming off.

Not just in complete horror and anger that Rose had done this, he was angry that he had let something like this happen: such a huge alteration to the timeline, with disastrous repercussions. It served as a harsh reminder just how alone he was in the Universe with none of his people to help him as they would have done, and he was about to leave the only other person in the Universe he now had.

So he was still thinking about these things when Rose yelled at him. Firstly, he was slightly shocked to hear that she regarded him as the most important man in her life. And the fact that she said 'for once' gave the impression that he had always been since they met – absolutely no memory or mention of Mickey the Idiot here then. That had stunned him quite a bit, and he had wondered when he progressed from Time Travelling Alien, to the Most Important Man. If he had to hazard a guess he may have said in Cardiff, 1869, trapped in a cellar, death seemingly imminent. The look they shared then, of a realisation that each had found who or what they were searching for, and the subsequent smiles and strangely intimate holding of hands, was a very memorable one. Though he had a sneaking suspicion Rose may have said an earlier date, maybe even a few hours after she'd met this strange man stroke alien, and had been unable to banish from her thoughts.

The second shock – though in hindsight, it shouldn't really have shocked him, as he knew Rose's penchant to state her feelings loud and clear, especially during an argument, and often without that excuse – was that she actually revealed this to him in the first place. Even with hindsight and (now) more knowledge of Rose's character, he knew there were some things she didn't disclose, preferred to remain hidden, and serious emotions and feelings regarding himself – even if he couldn't fully understand them in a way most humans could – was definitely the favorite to hide.

So this surprising outburst on Rose's behalf led to him demanding the return of her TARDIS key, and her further insightful knowledge of his character, which he didn't like for the sole reason that she held it against him in a argument. Truth be told, he was so immensely glad he had actually found someone he was able to connect with; someone who the TARDIS evidently connected with; someone who felt more of an equal to him than did some of his own people from time to time. And he had yelled at her, completely shutting her out and erecting a wall to rival the Great Wall of China around his emotions. At first, he refused to listen to, or accept, or attempt to understand anything being said to him. But occasionally and recently, and definitely now, he had decided to knock down the already crumbling foundations of the wall, and allow himself to listen a lot more to the voice and feelings that let his thoughts about Rose wander a little past the boundaries of companionship. Quite a lot past, in fact.

Right now though, sitting on the bed next to a very sick Rose, he asked himself for the hundredth time if he could have picked a worst moment to understand human emotions and his.

A kind of monitor beeped steadily and quietly, revealing in Gallifreyan that heart beat, blood pressure, resps and temperature were all pretty much normal, and that brain activity indicated R.E.M. sleep; she was dreaming, and had been almost immediately after he had administered the vaccine.

Her eyes flittered restlessly beneath her lids, and a few times she had jerked quite violently, or tried to lash out with sleep heavy arms, in the throes of a nightmare. The pharmaceutical researcher on Newtonia had advised him about that, so although it wasn't unexpected and he knew it was normal, he nevertheless felt completely powerless; a feeling he didn't like one bit.

So when Rose sat bolt upright with a strangled cry of fright into his arms, he was unable to decide if this was an improvement or not – though at least now he didn't have to sit idly by watching Rose in obvious pain and discomfort, and he could finally comfort her. What he'd say, he still had no ideas about at all. He decided for the time being at least, his presence was or more reassurance and comfort to Rose than an entire dictionary of words would be. So, sitting on the side of the bed, with Rose clinging tightly to his chest as though he were a life-raft in a tumultuous ocean, afraid to let go for fear of being swept away – which he supposed he was at the moment; metaphorically speaking at least – he gently rubbed soothing circles on her back and pressed tiny butterfly kisses into her hair, allowing the small, frail human to sob quietly into his shoulder.

End Chapter XXII