Just an Embrace

The human mind has a way of protecting itself from such a devastating statement: it hears exactly what has happened and still has the ability to refuse to comprehend it. This is a mechanism that prevents them from losing control of their world and who is in it.

Unfortunately, demons do not deal the same way.

Grieving was not something Hiei could do naturally, and so his anger welled up within. Humans also experience anger, usually anger towards the deceased or the higher power that took them from the world, but his rage was targeted at her.

He didn't remember descending from the tree or even approaching Botan and Kurama. He certainly didn't remember reaching out for her collar and grasping the fabric of her clothing in his fist, and pulling her down towards him.

"Hiei-" She managed to choke out as her legs began collapsing underneath her. Hearing her struggling to breathe broke his trance, but there was something satisfying about the fear in her amethyst eyes.

"Let her go." Kurama commanded in a composed manner. For a moment, Hiei was surprised that Kurama was not doing more to protect the helpless deity. Just as he was about to glance up at the kitsune, a fist came crashing into his jaw. His grip failed him, sending Botan to the ground.

The three waited in a tense silence, none wanting to break the unspoken truce between them. The sun disappeared from the sky as the lights surrounding the school building flickered on. A cool breeze interrupted the still air and Kurama took the opportunity to reach out to Botan. He whispered instructions for her, but she promptly shook her head in disagreement.

"Hiei," She said, her voice was low and humbled, a tone that was foreign for even her. "I… it happened recently. I only just found out."

"Don't try to fool me." Hiei ran his fingers across a thin trail of blood running from him mouth. "What kind of grim reaper doesn't know when a person's end is near?"

"It's rather… complicated." Botan drew in a deep breath and looked back at Kurama, who remained completely unresponsive, then continued. "Mukuro was not destined to pass on for many, many years, but there are such cases where we can not foresee certain events that might cause a person to die sooner than the date I have for them, like Yusuke."

The mere sound of Botan's voice as she attempted to justify Mukuro's death heightened Hiei's anger once again. Sensing this, Kurama intervened.

"Perhaps the answers you are looking for are better found in Makai." He suggested receiving only a loathsome glare from his former partner.

Hiei despised that he was being ordered back to Makai, but now he didn't have a choice. If Mukuro was gone… If. He quickly reprimanded himself for his poor choice of words because he knew that he was only deceiving himself to think that there was a possibility that she was still alive.

His eyebrows knitted together in frustration. What was there in Makai that could have ended her life? He turned his back to leave, but was quickly stopped by Botan.

"Let me come with you." She said abruptly, surprising both men in her presence.

"I don't need you to tag along." He spat, looking back at her from over his shoulder. "Besides, it seems you have other, more pressing matters to divert your attention from your job with."

The words were laced with such abhorrence that they sent a chill down Botan's spine. Had she really been distracted? As she watched him disappear into the sky, she wasn't too sure of the answer. She was being permitted to live a life in Ningenkai with Kurama, and she, Koenma, and Kurama had all thought through the effects of her not living in Reikai permanently anymore, but…

Kurama caught the look in her eyes, her soul growing distant from the world. Hiei's parting words had been unnecessary and extraordinarily cruel to Botan.

"There…" Kurama paused, reaching a hand out for her. "There was nothing you could have done, Botan."

"Of course." She cleared her throat and tried to pass off a smile, ignoring his open hand. "Maybe it would be best if I go back to Reikai for a while."

Kurama pressed his palm against her cheek gently. He adored her, but she had so much responsibility that he could not relieve from her. He leaned towards her, his lips brushing hers. She let out a sigh and ran her petite fingers through his scarlet strands of hair.

So much adversity…

Was she not supposed to be happy?

As he had expected, there was nothing false about the girl's statement: Mukuro was gone. Life in Makai had not changed; there was not a single person who would confess that they might miss her. Not even Hiei. This world didn't miss a beat when someone passed. What was there except death that kept this world running?

With a scoff, Hiei pushed her room door open. Many of her belongings had already been stripped from her room, and thus her very existence was being erased.

An odd feeling settled over him. It was more physical than emotional as his body seemed to ache, not unlike it would after a drawn out battle. Even his movements seemed laborious as he made his way through the unlit space.

She was dead and that was it. Hiei had returned to find out what had how she could have died, but what point was there?

Only the weak die. Hadn't that always been the way he rationalized dying?

"She was sick for some time," A soft explanation was accompanied by the intrusion of light once the door was slid open.

"I thought I told you to stay away from here." He stated. There was no malice behind his words; they were just a series of vocabulary strung together to state a fact.

"I wanted…" Her voice was lost in the silence. "I should apologize for not coming to you first." His body stiffened noticeably as she spoke. "I'm sorry Hiei."

"You're sorry?" He repeated apathetically. "What was the purpose of not bringing this straight to me?"

"Kurama-" Botan took a couple of clumsy steps closer to Hiei, and then froze. "I made a bad judgment call. I know how much she meant to you…"

"She meant nothing to me!" He sounded repulsed by the mere idea of it. And now he was even more repulsed with himself for allowing those words to slip out from his mouth.

He had been an outcast all his life. Though he was a demon, he was not totally accepted in the demon world. And yet, in the past couple of years, he had felt most at home in Makai because Mukuro was no different than him. They were both survivors of a tragic past that continuously haunted their future. It wasn't as though he needed acceptance from anyone in order to belong; he had shaped his own life by providing for himself, but the knowledge that there was other such beings capable of something he had accomplished was simply amazing. Mukuro had been amazing.

Botan felt misplaced in the room. A cold draft made its way through an opened window, sending shivers through her frail body. Hiei, on the other hand, had not moved from the foot of Mukuro's bed since she arrived and hardly seemed to notice the drop in temperature. Botan had been able to remain detached from most humans in order to avoid the moment of their deaths. It was not surprising that she had a low tolerance for dealing with deaths closely related to her, at least not surprising to those who knew her. Because she had somehow been capable of distancing herself from the most difficult part of living, Botan could not relate to Hiei.

She had a sudden urge that she couldn't prevent herself from following through on. Botan walked briskly, leaving little time for Hiei to react. Her arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him close towards her body.

"What the hell…" Hiei resisted for only a moment then grew still.

Her heart beating from behind him, Hiei lifted one hand and placed it atop her arm. The last thing he wanted from anyone was their pity, but his body refused to reject her.

-Continued-