Confused

Chapter 11 - Hear Me

Jay-

I'm starting to get the feeling that it's not right for Emma and I to be together. Every time we try someone or something interrupts it. Amy the first time then Alex on the phone. It's like the whole world is just trying to keep us from having sex. Sometimes I think Emma doesn't want it not from me at least.

She wasn't quite awake when I started kissing her neck. "Jay stop I'm still tired," She said pulling the blanket over her head.

"Come on Emma," I said pulling it back down and returning to the spot at her neck kissing it softly. "There's still two hours until school and your Mom called after you went to sleep, she said she was going to stay with Caitlin for the night. No one's home Emma and we still have time. Just get up."

"Jay stop," she sat up. "Is that all you want from me? Is that all I am to you?"

"Emma no it's not like that. I really love you an-"

"Jay why don't you go home."

"Emma please."

"Jay go home go and think about what our relationship really means to you. I mean if you really loved me you'd wait."

"Emma I do love you."

"I love you too andJay your a great guy but all you want to do is have sex. I'm not like that. I like to do othere things."

"That's not true Emma and you know it. Your just afraid that I'm going to end up like Sean. Always wanting to kiss you in public and crap. Emma I'm not like that. It's not like we're at The Dot or something and I'm trying to kiss your neck we're at your house. In your room. With no one around."

Emma-

How the hell does Jay know what I'm afraid of? I don't want another Sean. That's all Sean wanted from me most of the time. Mostly it was in public. Like he had something to prove. Jay knows me too well if he could figure that out.

"That's what's wrong isn't it Emma." I just nodded. I didn't want to come out and say that I was afraid. He hugged me.

I never wanted to leave Jay's sweet embrace. It was like if I was in his arms nothing and no one could hurt me.That I was safe from the out sideworld. That's something I never felt with Sean. Jay was right Sean never wantedmore than sex with me.The only time he ever hugged me was at Rick's funeral.

"Your mad aren't you," Jay asked still holding me tight.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I figured you out."

"No not at all."

"Don't lie Emma. You think that your so complicated when your not. If you really pay attention it's not hard to figure you out."

"Fine I am mad because most people don't pay enough attention to me to even get what I'm going through. The fact that you get me a hundred precent and my mom couldn't care less is upsetting"

"Well I get you and that's all that matters. If your mom doesn't care that's her lose not yours."

"Yeah I guess so."

Jay-

I never wanted to let Emma go. Her hair, her body, everything around her hadbeen smothered withthe sweet smell of peaches. I guess it's her shampoo or something.

"Jay," she asked.

"Yeah."

"Tonight okay I promise."

"No Em it's okay we can wait. We can go bowling or something. Anything you want."

"Thanks."

"Come on we have to go to school."

(-SCHOOL-)

Jimmy-

"Hey Jimmy," Paige said walking up to me. "And Alex. What are you two doing Saturday?"

"Paige it's Mondaywhy areyou planning what you going to do Saturday," Alex said with a smirk.

"Well I plan ahead. Anyway do you guys want to come to my house for a party? It's Spin's birthday. "

"Spinner I know no one by that name," I said pissed that she'd think I'd want to come.

I know I survived the wheel chair but I should never had been put in it. Spinner's little plot could've killed me.

"Jimmy. That was a long time ago. You recovered and he really wants to be friends again. Your somewhat friends with Jay why can't you be friends with him?"

Paige just doesn't get it.

"I'm not friends with Jay. He's Emma's boyfriend and one of Alex's friends. We're not friends I just tolerate him."

"Then tolerate Spin for one night, just one night Jimmy please."

"Come on Jimmy. You don't have to see him. We can go to the party like it's anyone elses party and just and have fun.," Alex said.

"Fine," as I said that the bell rang. Alex and I parted with a kiss and I went to Media Immersion.

(-MI-)

I signed onto AIM ever though I wasn't supposed to be on during class.

A1Chick(an/ I'm pretty sure that's Paige's screen name)- Thanks Jimmy

BadChicken- You owe me.

Then Spinner IMed me.

Spinner- Look Jimmy I'm sorry for what happened.

BadChicken- Yeah Me too.

I signed off. I couldn't deal with Spinner and hisdumb assapologies.

(-Shop Class-)

Alex-

"Craig your doing that all wrong," I said.

"Well since your so smart why don't you do it?"

I fiddled with a few screws on theengine. "Done."

Jay came over to us. "Manning she's right she fixed it."

"That's great I couldn't figure it out and Alex did."

"Welcome to my life," Sean said with a smile. I don't know what's been up with him lately. He keeps smiling at me and winking and crap it's kind of scary. I hope he doesn't like me. That'd be too weird. I'd never look at him the same way again.

"Hey Jay. I haven't seen you at the ravine lately where have you been," Amy said.

"I haven't been therebecause I'm going out with Emma now. And I'm not going there as long as we are."

With that she left. The look on her face was priceless.

Emma-

The day was relatively normal. Nothing new.Got invited to Spinner Mason's 17th birthday that's about it.After Jay and I went Mini Golfing we came home ordered pizza and laid in my bed watching Lifetime Movies. It's great just to be with him. Not worring about school or anything else.

"So, Em you ready to go to bed?"

"Yeah."

Once again we feel asleep in each other's arms. This is one feeling I'd never give up for anything.

Jay-

I have to admit watching Emma miss hole after hole after hole was pretty fun. The Lifetime Movies not so much. She thinks she saw me crying, well she did but the dog died. I had a dog once and it got ran over by a car. That's the only reason I had to cry.

Again we fell asleep in each others arms.The smell of her haircombined with her gentalrhythmthat is her breathing is enough to make even the toughest guy melt into a puddle of goo. I love Emma and I love laying with her like this. With or without the sex.

Aww too cute! )