Chapter Thirteen
"Ryan, I am now forced to never talk to you again," Seth said as if horrified, "I am now forced to dissect you in your sleep. You cannot live with Jess intertwined in your life. One day, you will be thanking me- of course being dead and all." Seth's face turned a light, pale colour of a bony white. Ryan couldn't understand what he did wrong. "What about Marissa you idiotic idiot?" Seth questioned forcefully.
"I'm with Jess." Ryan shrugged as he stumbled passed Seth, and pushed against his shoulder.
"God, I really do not know you. I never knew you." Seth said as he stalked off in the other direction. Marissa then approached him curiously. She looked at his harsh face, and she tried to seem relaxed- however after seeing Jess and Ryan together, it scared her more then anything.
"Seth, what's going on?" Marissa asked as if she knew Seth for her whole life- and also talked to him since forever. Seth just gave her a look – something like, 'you're only talking to me because you want to know something'. Marissa understood the look, but expected an answer just the same. "Come on. It'll be easier to talk outside, okay?" Marissa suggested hopefully.
"Yeah, whatever." Seth replied as he walked coolly out the school doors. Marissa led him to a nicely shaded tree, where emptiness resided. She smiled as she pointed to the serene place. Seth followed where her thing fingers pointed. He felt awkward walking with the most popular girl in school- it just didn't feel right walking with Marissa Cooper. Marissa then sat down with poise, as she crossed her legs in anticipation. She couldn't wait to hear what Seth had to say.
"Seth, can you please tell me now?" Marissa asked.
"I don't know. I don't think I'd be loyal to my ex-friend." Seth said almost dismissively- but considering that Jess had now bombarded their lives, he couldn't consider it more.
"Ex-friend? What's going on with you and Ryan?" Marissa asked eloquently.
"He's with someone. Someone I'm not too fond of." Marissa's jaw dropped about three meters, as she silently prayed it weren't true. She swallowed but her jaw immediately fell back down again. Marissa's eyes were wide, as if she were waiting for Seth to say he was joking. "Marissa, if I said I were joking, I'd be lying." Seth said, while unintentionally reading her very expressive thoughts.
"Ryan's," Marissa paused trying to soothe her stirring emotions, "Ryan's with," Marissa couldn't spit out the words, because she was so shocked. She gulped, "with Jess? Ryan's with Jess?" Marissa said in a tone that begged Seth to say otherwise. He nodded as he was afraid Marissa would hit him to release her shock. Seth didn't know what to do when he saw Marissa's eyes well up with tears- her usually flawless face swelling with colour. Seth went to hug Marissa, and yet she completely misunderstood this friendly gesture. While Seth only wanted to comfort Marissa, she wanted to comfort her longing.
She closed her eyes and went to kiss Seth- misinterpreting the fact that he was only going to hug her. After a second of acceptance, Seth finally resisted the kiss, leaving Marissa with her eyes closed slowly backing away. When she realised what she just did, she buried her hands in her face, and she started to cry harder.
"What have I done? Oh God," Marissa shrieked, but her voice was muffled through her hands. Seth touched her back and started to comfort her, in spite of his fright toward Marissa. Marissa wailed and when her sensations finally remarked that Seth was comforting her she stared at him, and leaned in again to kiss Seth. She wrapped her hands around him, and he naively did not oppose.
"What the hell is this?" Ryan asked as he towered over Seth and Marissa. Marissa instinctively pulled away, and she looked at Ryan, with little Jess hand-in-hand. Marissa glared at the smirking blonde, and she got up and walked away. She left Seth to deal with Ryan all alone.
"So what is this? The minute Marissa is completely available you're onto her?" Ryan asked, grimacing.
"It's not like that." Seth said before he was pinned against the tree, his face turning blue from the force Ryan used against him.
"Stay away from Marissa, Cohen." Ryan said gravely, but he was interrupted by a shrieking Marissa and Summer.
"Stop! What are you doing?" Summer came on Seth's defence. Because Ryan wasn't responding to her shriek, she ran up straight from behind and she punched Ryan in the back as hard as she possibly could. His reflexes allowed him to turn around and let Seth drop from the altitude he hung on. "Who the hell do you think you are, little Atwood boy? Now you really think you can play with Marissa's heart? Well here's news for you. Hang out with that whore Jess, then you might even end up like your parents." Summer scowled, as she tore Seth away from the crowd, and nodded toward Marissa to follow.
"I'm sorry Seth." Marissa said when they were a safe distance away. Seth tried to ignore her, but he only managed to nod. "Look Seth, I'm sorry. I don't kiss guys like that everyday. I'm so sorry." Marissa said with genuine guilt.
"Ew. You kissed Cohen? Why did you conveniently miss that when you were saying that Cohen was getting beat up?" Summer asked, her eyes cold with disbelief. Marissa smiled quickly at Seth, who was completely speechless.
"It was urgent. I needed your help- you helped. Now you know." Marissa replied briefly.
"Marissa," Seth finally cut it, "You're an awesome girl, possibly a great friend too- but that's all you and I both want. Promise me you won't get caught up in the moment again, whether it's now, or with someone else?" Seth said in a silent whisper. Marissa looked at Seth, full of thought. She looked at him, realising he would never be more then a friend- she looked at him like a helpful older brother that protected her.
"Thanks Seth. It means a lot to me that you care- I promise you I won't." Marissa said. Summer looked at Marissa's zoned eyes, and she almost questioned the fact that she was still talking to Seth Cohen. Summer looked from Marissa to Seth- she figured Seth was decent considering Marissa was talking to him. Summer smiled as she shifted trying to point some attention to herself. She couldn't stand being just a bystander.
"What's the matter Summer?" Seth quickly asked, worrying for this girl he actually didn't know at all.
"Just a little cold." Summer squeaked out quietly, as she smiled quickly urging the conversation to go on now that the two realised she was still there.
"Summer, it's 37°C out here!" Marissa pointed out. She smiled knowing Summer only wanted the attention she deserved. Summer laughed out loud, seeing that Marissa picked up the point of the comment. Summer shrugged.
"You know, we should do something together. Talk, chat, gossip?" Summer offered looking at Marissa and Seth- particularly at Seth bearing in mind that Summer already hung out with Marissa. Seth looked at Summer- stunned.
"I don't know. I'm not really into the chick stuff…" Seth tried to seem cool about it, but his glowing face made his excitement completely obvious.
"Come on Cohen. It'll be fun." Summer persuaded him further.
"Ah, I dunno," Seth said, but with one last gaze at Summer's flawless beauty, he could pretend no longer, "Okay. That'd be great. Listen ladies, I gotta go. Talk to you later?" They both nodded. Seth parted the little group excitedly. Marissa looked at Summer, who was still smiling long after Seth left. Marissa tried not to look worried, but her face showed it all.
"You don't have a thing for him, do you?" Marissa asked in an over-protective manner. Summer froze; her smile rapidly vanished from her tanned face. Summer then laughed out loud acting as if it were a joke, however inside she was getting nauseous. Her smile was uncertain and quivery, but Marissa was too full of thought to notice, as she watched far beyond Summer, toward a familiar face with another sneaky, over-familiar girl. Jess and Ryan.
"Are you kidding? It's Cohen. But it would be a nice change to hate one person less." Summer said casually on her defence. She wished her stomach would quit churning, and her heart stop pounding so mercilessly. Marissa then looked back at Summer.
"Right." She nodded quickly, and continued to look over at the two. She wondered if they were paid to make out so much after what- the first hour of being 'together'?
"What are you staring at Coop?" Summer looked over at the mingling couple, and she merely punched Marissa (lightly) on the shoulder. Marissa quickly reacted with an uncalled for 'ow'. Marissa rubbed the place where Summer had playfully hit her. "Marissa, get over him! He's out with Jess- does that not mean anything to you?" Summer asked quickly, glaring at her best friend.
"Summer, have you ever been in love?" Summer winced in pain, as she stared blankly at her friend. Marissa knew 'love' was a difficult topic for Summer to bear, but Summer shook her head slowly. "Have you ever watched someone so close, be so far?" Summer swallowed, and looking up with a frown she shook her head once more, "That's right, Sum. You get everyone you want. This guy, I want- but even if I were you, I wouldn't get him because he's deeper then that. He's deeper then I'll ever know. He's out of my reach, and I can't help it because I'm a popular, shallow, bitch- and he knows it, I know it, you know it, everyone knows it, but they deny it. Because they're afraid of me, they deny it. They think I'm powerful, ruthless, and I would kill for status- I'm far from it. It's the picture I portray though, and it's what I am. I've learned to be this different trivial person, but inside I'm not her, and I don't want to be her but I can't change. Summer you'll never understand this longing for a guy because damn it; you can get anyone for a week, a day, a long-term relationship and yet you'll always be the one to break it off. You're the girl that can get anything she wants. You've never felt what I feel. This feeling would kill you- shatter your pride. I just wish he could see the real me, and see that I'm not who people think I am. I wish I could appeal to him, and let him know through one word who I am. I wish he would listen to my silent calls- see my blind affection. Summer, why can't I be me long enough to stay me?"