Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for the usual statements.
Author's note: Real life is really being a bear—I apologize for the lengthy wait for this installment.
Time to Consider
Chapter 36
By Callisto
Kowaris Cannery—Present
Anchorage, AK
Norwood barely had time to burst through the front door in search of the forbidden Parker when Jarod calmed down and bowed his head. What he was feeling had been strangely amplified. Acting out uncontrollably on those feelings filled him with shame. The childishness of his other self was humbling but he was momentarily powerless to control the pure, concentrated and wholly unjustified anger. Surrounded by the palpable concern radiating from his family, he was heartened into being more communicative. At least the release of his built up anger helped to temporarily block the constant buzzing static from his brain giving him a measure of relief.
"I never knew that I could behave like that, much less act onit. All Sydney's training and the restrictions imposed by the Centre must have suppressed those emotions in favor of my desire for freedom and an identity. That's all I can offer by way of an apology," he stated solemnly.
"From the embarrassed look on Norwood's face, I think Miss Parker must have done it on purpose to get a rise out of you," the major replied with a touch of anger.
"Dad, not everything going on here is her fault. Though I wish I were here to see her kiss him. The look on his face would've been precious," Daniel said with a smile for his sister.
"She bit Norwood more than kissed him," Jarod replied. "It was a counter-threat to his original blackmail. He saw her doing something on the Internet and told her that he would inform Ethan if she didn't tell him what she was planning."
"You were listening in? Why did you wait to attack him?" Ethan asked in confusion. Norwood's Internet connected computer was downstairs and his sister was coming out of her upstairs bedroom when Jarod attacked Norwood.
"I don't have much control over the stronger emotions, but I do have some. I felt myself losing control so I stepped away from the door for a minute to compose myself. I was on the brink of coming out when I heard Norwood explain his own theory about what was happening to us," Jarod answered. "Norwood believes that the merge involves a connection of some type between the different versions of us. It's this connection that's deteriorating and making us act this way."
"You sound like you only partially agree with his theory," Emily prodded gently. This was the most communicative Jarod had been since the first few days after he arrived.
"I'm not too sure about there being a bridge between the versions but what I am sure of is that the merge is deteriorating. It only makes sense because we returned to a time when the merge never existed."
"The merge didn't exist in the other reality either," she pointed out quickly.
"No, but when we arrived in the variant reality, Time was forced to compensate and create a merge between our different versions. When we imposed ourselves in a time when our younger selves existed, it only made sense that something new would be created; a melding of two different versions of the same people. I believe the problem here is that there's no reverse in time travel. Returning means everything is supposed to revert to its original design—rendering the merge null and void. The dilemma is that our younger versions have no where to go. Our different versions are slowly stripping away from each other causing chaos. Norwood is correct that the result will be madness."
"Why are you practically housebound while Parker is able to run all over town without all the handicaps you have? Is there something she's doing that somehow is retarding the effects?" the major asked in frustration.
"No. My sister is suffering from some pretty intense symptoms, the breakdown of the merge is only affecting her differently than Jarod," Ethan answered quickly. He was fast becoming tired of defending his sister who was going through the same thing as Jarod. As each day passed he was more heartily sorry that he had tricked them into returning. Now it looked like he had sacrificed their very sanity to assuage his pervasive loneliness. It was an exchange that he would've gladly reversed if it were in his power.
"Ethan's right. I saw her struggling with the younger version of herself. Her older self would've been far more confrontational than she is now. I know how to get to the when of returning us, but I can't," he said incompletely. Abruptly switching topics of conversation in response to a wholely internal dialog had become a recent habit with him. The ever-present static in his mind was starting to return with the confluence of thoughts crowding into his racing mind.
"You know when to return? Why can't you and are you sure it will solve this problem?" the major asked gently. He could see in Jarod's face that he was beginning once again to struggle with the effects of the merge.
"Returning to the time void we created in coming back to our original timeframe should stabilize the merge. Time travel is strictly a one-way ticket—even if you do go to a place in time when you don't exist. There's no way of knowing for sure if and how Time compensated for your journey but it's a safe bet to assume something was done to compensate for whatever shouldn't be happening. Just the act of showing up in a variant timeframe means that there's been some type of compensation or you ended up changing something. We were there so long, I'm sure we must have changed the way events were supposed to evolvein that reality. Our absence is further exacerbating the situation."
"Jarod can you explain what it is you're going though? Perhaps there's a way we can help. And these formulas, what are they for?" Daniel asked.
"Most of them were intellectual puzzles I used to calm my mind when things got bad at the Centre. I've solved them—they're of no more use to me now. Each day I'm becoming more like two Jarod's, not the one. All the intellect that I had is now doubled."
"What! Of course, with the merge you had twice the intellect you originally had—that I have. Now with the breakdown, it must be acting like a large magnifying glass, intensifying your natural talent. No wonder you're able to come up with all these solutions. Sorry to say, you're the only one who truly understands them."
"The merge almost completely integrated the two versions. My intellect didn't necessarily double but it was enhanced. With the breakdown of the merge everything is doubling, including some of my weaknesses. The same is happening with your sister; she heard the voices clearly and effortlessly in the variant. She knew you would do this but what confuses me is why she didn't warn me?"
"The voices sometimes have their own agenda—they don't always tell you the whole story or the story you want to hear. They probably warned her obliquely and in response, she had you make the age inhibitor as a sort of alert to us when you came back. A reminder that you have to return in order to retain your sanity," Ethan replied sadly.
"It's not your fault. You had no way of knowing this would happen. You wanted your sister back, I can understand that. I felt the same way about Emily," Jarod smiled weakly at his half-brother. He remembered how the much the youthful Ethan had a tendency to cling to Parker in the variant timeframe, even with his mother right there with them.
"Without the frog, all the formulas in the world won't get you back to the exact variant where you came from," Daniel stated with grown trepidation.
"What if we were able to transport you to another variant? What would happen then?" Emily asked, knowing she was grasping at straws.
"We would pick up another version of ourselves. Time would be forced to stabilize us once again but we would be living with 3 variations of ourselves. If that didn't drive us crazy, I don't know what would," Jarod said with mild amusement. Emily's suggestion had occurred to him soon after their return.
"Norwood and I are monitoring the radio frequencies just in case Ethan as a boy turns it on for some reason. We're hoping the voices in his head will encourage him so perhaps we can get him to activate the transponder. It's a long shot but so far that's all we have," Daniel said with faint hope.
"I've written out a few things that I'll need you guys to do when I'm no longer able to make any sense. Norwood seems to believe that we have a little less than a month before the madness sets in. If we're unable to get back before then, I'm not sure if a return trip would do us any good." Looking around at 4 out of the 6 people that meant the most to him, Jarod committed their faces to memory. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be sensible to their love. Perhaps, would get his wish and have him back at the Centre safe and sound once and for all.
"Don't give up, Jarod. We've missed something. There's something we're overlooking. I'll do everything in my power to figure it out. The voices keep saying that my sister is the key but I've questioned her several times and she doesn't seem to know anything. I won't stop trying," Ethan vowed.
A few hours later, Parker and Norwood returned with their purchases. At Norwood's sudden nervousness, she ordered the handsomely scrawny scientist to remain behind her until they passed Jarod's rooms. So far he hadn't attacked Norwood when she was around to witness it. Probably because he knew she would kick his ass if he tried it. Returning downstairs because the lion-hearted Norwood was still worried that Jarod had possibly spotted them going upstairs together, the two shoppers looked around and spotted the entire family inside Jarod's personal lair. A sharp pain of loss pierced her heart but set her jaw. She shrugged at Norwood, then turned to go back up to her room when he stopped her.
"Please, don't you think it's about time you stopped avoiding him? He is the only person in this or any timeframe who knows exactly what you're going through. I have only a few answers, Jarod probably has this all figured out. If not for yourself, than do it for me because this curiosity is killing me," Norwood asked with a strange mixture of charming self-interest.
"And you want me to go in there as your bodyguard?"
"Your perception does you credit. I truly admire your man. His genius seems limitless."
"Alright, under one condition," she replied testily moving slowly towards Jarod's rooms.
"Name it! Anything," Norwood said eagerly.
"Stop calling him my man. He doesn't belong to me," she said firmly.
Norwood watched as the complex woman he was learning to admire as much as her genius man walked resolutely to Jarod's door, pause, then pull it open wide and enter. Quickly slipping into the room behind her, Norwood was almost treading on her heels as every eye in the room turned to greet them.
Still avoiding looking directly at Jarod, Parker announced unceremoniously, "Norwood wanted to speak to Jarod. I'm only here as his bodyguard." With a closed expression she averted her gaze and crossed her arms protectively over her chest.
"Wow. I haven't had a chance to look at you for sometime. You've changed," Norwood said quietly to Jarod.
"Kinda hard to notice anything when you're running as fast as humanly possible," Parker replied saucily.
It was all Emily could do to suppress a chuckle at Parker's retort. It was said with a straight face and topped with dripping sarcasm. Sliding a glance at Daniel, she noticed that she wasn't the only one appreciating Parker's acerbic wit.
Frowning at Parker's comment, Norwood sighed audibly and continued, "Has Daniel told you of our hope that someone in the variant will perhaps turn on the radio again? We've checked several times and it seems that someone must have turned it off when they went to check on you, perhaps they will switch it back on again."
"And then probably change the channel. I doubt it. Dad was visiting when we disappeared. Chances are that Catherine drove him to our apartment and turned it off when they discovered us missing," Jarod stated quickly. He seemed incapable of tearing his eyes off Parker.
"Aren't you two a little young to be living together?" Emily asked amusedly.
"I'm still 10 years older than you, so no more comments." Jarod shot back with a smile. "We didn't give our parents much of a choice. After all, they're our ages and found it difficult to get around the logic."
Without looking at him, Parker quickly contradicted Jarod's assumptions. "I doubt it was my mother driving. The last thing she would want is to be cooped up in a car for half an hour with your father."
"Did something happen between them?" Daniel asked curiously.
"Why? I've noticed that they don't seem to be able to stand each other," Jarod asked, over-riding his clone. His emotional control was slowly slipping away but having her there seemed to calm his churning brain.
Looking at Daniel, she curled her lip and answered both of them. It hardly mattered since they would be stuck in the hell of their existence until the end of their days. Her mother's secret would never be revealed. Besides, she was suddenly sick and tired of all her mother's secrets. The woman had more than the average person could shake a stick at. Missing her all over again caused yet another radiating ache to spread throughout Parker's body.
"They slept together once. Call it my mother's moment of weakness and your father's temporary absence of sense. Anyway, that's how little Ethan came to be in the other timeline."
"You're lying! My father would never look at another woman much less impregnate her," Jarod replied heatedly. His grip on the emotions churning in his chest was slowly fading.
Finally Parker looked at Jarod and was unaffectedly shocked. He was thinner, gaunt almost. His hair had grown longer and the lower half of his face was covered in a mat of beard and mustache. Every article of clothing was severely rumpled cloaking him in an aura of a mad scientist. She blanched at his appearance but remained mute.
"What are you looking at? You finally decide to spare me a glance and have the gall to disapprove? Look at you! What in the hell did you do to your hair!" he shouted.
"I cut it but at least I don't look like some homeless bum. What happened? Did they take your razor away, just in case? Bet you didn't even brush your teeth," she jabbed cattily.
"Why did you cut it? Just to get at me?" he asked indignantly. In a quieter voice he said sadly, "I loved the way your hair flowed down your back."
"I'm not lying. Ever wonder why Ethan looks exactly the same there as he does here, Genius? In the variant, my mother didn't hang around long enough for Raines and company to impregnate her with your father's sperm—he did that himself."
"Why would I do that?" the major asked her in astonishment. "I'm still married to your mother in the other timeline, right?" he asked turning to Jarod.
"You had helped my mother rescue a little boy named Timmy from the Centre. That's why the pretender project never got off the ground in the variant. You were hiding out with her waiting for things to calm down a bit before going home. She became hysterical once it dawned on her that her ex-husband actually tried to kill her. You were trying to comfort her and one thing led to another." At the major's struggling disbelief, Parker continued in a gentler tone. "She never told you that she had gotten pregnant. For that matter, she didn't tell anyone but me about it. And that was because I had already figured it out."
"I look at this boy and don't guess that he's my son?"
"I don't know. You and my mother tend to avoid each other. My father thinks that he's his son and is raising him. There isn't any reason to screw up your family just because you went a little too far in trying to comfort her. In the other time, Ethan belongs with us."
"A year ago, I was trying to tell you that but you wouldn't listen," Ethan said quietly.
"Here, you belong with them. You didn't and don't understand. In this timeframe whether I'm 40 or 18, I'm at the end of the road. Jarod and I were only staving off the inevitable by globe trotting. Raines and I have a long standing date this timeframe hasn't forgotten about. When we finally dance, I'm taking that bastard out with me."
"What are you talking about? What was it that Norwood caught you doing on the Internet?" Jarod interrupted. He was afraid she would do something reckless.
"Oh, what do you care brain-boy? You have your formulas to comfort you. I'm tired of this. You're on your own, Harry."
"Wait a second. I'm not done with you!" Jarod practically growled. His grip on emotional control slipped completely but he quickly regained the upper hand.
"We're done, period. Tomorrow I'm out of here," she turned in hurt anger. Her face went suddenly pale as sweat broke out along her brow. A painful expression took hold as she brought her hand up to her face, partially concealing the distended veins in her face—all evidence of her struggle with the merge. In a few seconds, the major's disbelief in Parker's suffering was quickly reversed. It took everything she had to pull herself together. Norwood was right; this minor confrontation weakened her ability to retain cohesion. The uncertainty and hesitation that she thought had been conquered in childhood continued to eat at her resolve. If she were to kill Raines, it would have to be as an assassination, where any physical clash could be avoided so she could obtain her goal. And it would have to be soon before she was no longer able to control her younger self. Jarod saw this and mistakenly relaxed his control in dismay for another few seconds—long enough for his emotions to get the best of him.
"If it weren't for you, the frog would be alive and of some use to us! Now we're stuck here to go mad or indulge in some suicide mission!"
"What are talking about? How did Horatio die?" she asked in sudden sympathy.
"You care more about that damn frog than you do me! Incredible, how did I ever imagine…"
"Me!" she interrupted explosively. "You're the one who locks himself upwith nothing but stupid formulas, never eating and feeling so sorry for himself. At least I'm doing something constructive with the time that's left to me."
"By killing Raines? Yeah, that's very constructive. Too bad you couldn't keep Horatio alive."
"I didn't kill Horatio!"
"Who's Horatio?" Norwood asked confused.
Ignoring the scientist, Jarod continued, "You leftit himLyle's house instead of our apartment. Why did you have to bring it with us?" he asked miserably, knowing full well that his charges were unfair but unable to stop himself before the words escaped his lips. Nothing but ifs occupied his mind.
"Horatio is in my old house? He jumped from my hands just before the light blinded me. I thought he hopped free of the beam," she said totally confused.
Everyone in the room caught their breath at her words. Parker once again was preoccupied with regaining control when she looked up seconds later; everyone was staring at her expectantly.
"Parker, you left the frog in the variant time frame? Are you sure it's still there?" Ethan asked anxiously.
"The last time I saw it. I remember the noise and then it jumped from my hands and hopped to the other side of the room just when the light blinded me. I don't remember seeing it when I woke up in my old room."
Jarod stared at her for several seconds before sitting down again and began to silently cry in relief. All he could think about was that Ethan had been right; the answer to their problem came from her. He thanked everything spiritual for his unfair accusation—otherwise they would've continued to assume that the frog came through the event horizon.
No one explained the assumption, as Norwood raced Daniel back to the machine's controller. They had left the computer scanning for the radio frequency, instead of the transponder signal the frog carried. If the amphibian was still inside the apartment—even dead, it would continue to transmit. That is as long as young Ethan didn't bury the thing.
"Why? What difference does it make?" she asked to everyone and no one in particular.
"It means, Miss Parker, that once again we underestimated you. For my part in that, I heartily apologize. Please tell Catherine hello for me. I would never intentionally harm her for anything in the world," the major stated with quiet sincerity.
"How can I tell her if we can't get back?" she asked uncertainly.
"With the frog still in the variant timeframe, it's acting like a beacon in an endless sea of variant timelines. It'll guide you back to where you were. The only problem now is for you to come up with a plausible reason behind your lengthy absence," he said sadly. Once again he would lose his son, this time for good. A few minutes ago Jarod's life and sanity hung in a doubtful balance. Now he was positive that his son was lost to him for good. Hanging onto Jarod in this timeframe and in his current condition would be criminal.