Hinata, goddess of shy, was busily making her way down to the grocery store.
"Hyuuga Hinata. So lovely, so sweet… like a flower that has not yet bloomed."
"Huh? Who's that?" The young, blue-haired girl looked all around to see who had complimented her.
"You are lucky tonight, young Hinata. You're walking down my street: 'Romance Lane'," the voice taunted with a mischievous giggle.
Hinata continued to sweep her surroundings, but couldn't determine where the voice was coming from. Something inside her began to panic.
She looked up at the street post: it read 'Romance Lane'.
'Oh crap! I must have made a wrong turn at 'One Night Strand',' the young girl pondered. 'Now I have to walk down an extra block just to reach the store!'
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"W-who's there? Show yourself… please!" Hinata cried, activating her Byakugan.
But Uchiha Sasuke, Konoha's prodigal son, had already shown himself in front of her. His arms were crossed and his back was leaning against a light post. He looked up at her with a confident smile and eyes that dripped with smooth sophistication.
Sasuke brought two fingers to her face.
"Two things, Hinata: I am cool. You… like cool. Damn it, I got your number."
"Huh?" Hinata stared at him with a blank expression on her face. "It's j-just you Sasuke-kun? You nearly scared me… I have to buy g-groceries for my family…"
"J-just me? Baby, I'm the entire package. You want me- just like every other girl in this town. Screw the groceries; I'm the only thing you'll be wantin' to take home to mommy and daddy. And I don't have anything against meeting your parents, but if it were up to me, I say we wait a while first. We can have a little fun that way," Sasuke purred.
Sasuke grinned at her with a self-assurance that would make 'The Artist Formerly Known As Prince' rattle.
Hinata stared at him deftly. "G-goodbye, Sasuke-kun."
She nodded, and walked off, leaving a still-smiling, statue-like Sasuke standing in the middle of the street. Several moments passed. Tumbleweed blew across the street.
More tumbleweed blew across and it began raining all of a sudden.
Suddenly a random typhoon of rampaging tumbleweed blew across and knocked Sasuke into the telephone pole, whereby the pole snapped like a twig and came crashing down, narrowly missing the young boy by inches. The thunderstorm suddenly ended.
"Well, I was going to say you don't seem to be having a lot of luck but… god-damn, that was a lot of tumbleweed, Sasuke," A boy's voice suddenly remarked.
"Shut-up, Kiba. I told you to remain hidden until I scored the kiss," Sasuke scolded, squeezing his clothes dry and pulling out lodged tumbleweed from his, err, body.
"I was! I was hiding behind the fence like you told me too! But looks like she got away, eh, Sasuke-kun? Too bad," Kiba replied, hopping from behind the fence he had been hiding behind. Kiba, like every other boy in Konoha, didn't have as much admiration for Sasuke as the girls seemed to have. He was eager to leave and forget him, but…
"Didn't you say you always wanted to get back at Naruto? Well, like I said before, here's your chance! Help me beat him in this competition! You wanted him to be humiliated right? Well that's what'll happen if I win! Get your ass up and help me already!"
"Argh, alright already," Kiba groaned.
"Don't know what you have against the dumb-ass, but it works for me," Sasuke groaned.
For Kiba, if there was anyone he liked less than Sasuke, it was Naruto. He was no idiot; he could sniff the way Hinata acted whenever Naruto was around from a mile away. Kiba wanted the shy, little princess all to himself. He wanted her soft, petite body for his own.
"Ruff! Ruff! Hehehe!" Kiba suddenly howled, drooling like a dog.
"Right… Anyway, c'mon, we've got to chase her down the street," Sasuke ordered.
"Yes!" Kiba agreed, scooping his puppy into his jacket. "Let's go Akamaru!"
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"What is taking that young lady so long?" A distressed Mrs. Hyuuga cried in alarm.
"GOD, WOMAN, CAN'T YOU STAY SILENT FOR A MINUTE?" Mr. Hyuuga replied, eagerly setting the second-last card to his nearly complete tower-of-cards.
"I told her… I told her… no socializing with strangers. No socializing with storekeepers. No socializing with people. No socializing with animals. No socializing with supernatural phenomena. No…" Mrs. Hyuuga went on in a flustered way.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Mr. Hyuuga replied. "THE DAMN CARDS!"
"I mean… she's a pretty girl and everything! She's… she's just growing up so fast and I wish that she would… boys will desire her and…" Mother went on.
Mr. Hyuuga tried his best to ignore the crazy woman behind him, focusing intensely on his card tower. It was nearly fourteen stories tall!
"They'll try to touch her and have their way with her… she's so naïve and…"
"HELLO? SHUT THAT PIE HOLE!" He said between gritted teeth.
"And why are those stupid cards so important to you? I ought to come over there and give that stupid tower a taste of my foot, that's what I ought to do. In fact, I'm coming over there right now and I'll show it just how overrated a 'Gentle Fist Style' really is!"
"NO! DAMN IT, WOMAN! COME HERE AND I KILL YOU DEAD!"
"No, Hiashi! I'm coming to get that stupid tower so you can grow up!"
"NO! KEEP YOUR STINKIN' PAWS OFF MY CASTLE, YOU CRAZY MEATWAGON!"
"It's mine! I'm taking that tower down!"
"NO! YOU GIVE ME NO CHOICE, WOMAN! I'M FIGHTING TO DEFEND MY TOWER! I'M GOING TO FIGHT! JUKEN- AH!" Mr. Hyuuga cried, charging his fist with an ominous blue chakra.
"Give me your best, you runt-for-a-husband! 'My foot-to-your-face style!'"
"DIE, CRAZY WOMAN! AHH!"
And that's how the Hyuuga family came to forget about Hinata's quest to buy the groceries.
Anyways…
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Meanwhile, Hinata had just reached the end of her long-cut, and was just about to enter through the door to the grocery store when…
"Allow me?" A deep, male voice asked.
It was Sasuke, holding the door open for the pretty, young face.
"Sa-Sasuke-kun? Again? Err… th-thank you, Sasuke-kun," Hinata whelped.
The girl walked into the store, Sasuke following behind in close tow, giving a suspicious nod to someone behind the dumpster outside the store.
"Listen, Hinata, I'm really sorry about earlier. I'm not usually that overpoweringly cool. I can be subtle too. In fact, let me show you how much of a gentleman I can be. Please, give me a chance, by allowing me to help you with your grocery shopping," Sasuke offered sweetly.
'Damn it! At this rate, I'll never beat Naruto! I'll do anything to make her kiss me!'
"Okay, Sasuke-kun. Thank you?" Hinata replied innocently, not wanting to decline his help.
"Hmm? So what do you need?" Sasuke mumbled helpfully.
"Apples…?" Hinata mumbled from memory.
"No problem! By the way, Hinata, have I ever told you that you are the apple of my eye?" Sasuke asked, reaching for a few apples and placing them in Hinata's hand basket. He had no idea what the metaphor meant and had no idea what the idiot who thought you could fit an apple in your eye had been smoking at the time the phrase was conjured.
"Umm, no. Okay, Strawberries?"
"Strawberries… So sweet and so tender… So feminine and soft… Strawberries." Sasuke chirped, trying his best to sound 'chirpy', even though a drunken paperweight would've sounded chirpier than he did then as he picked up a punnet and gave it to her.
"Right, I need two quarts of milk."
"The sweet, nourishing goodness that fills my soul. You're like the source of all that goodness, Hinata. In fact, you're like some sort of big, sexy… cow to me. Yeah… moo for me, Hinata. Let me hear your milky goodness… umm… resonate from within… moo," Sasuke begged painfully, bringing a hand to his chest and placing the milk in her basket.
"M-m-moo? Okay, Sasuke, find me some batteries."
"The battery! Ah, remember science class? How we learnt how the battery is merely a storage container for chemical energy? Well, Hinata, you've got some chemical energy I've just been dying to tap into. We've got some potential for sparks! Yowch!"
"Right, chemicals. I need a sweet melon."
"Sweet melons… hmm, I probably shouldn't talk about that one," Sasuke conceded silently, placing a ripe, firm melon in his hand, squeezing it, then placing it in the basket.
"Good. Lastly, a bunch of bananas."
"Okay, I won't talk about these either. Here," Sasuke placed a bunch in her collection.
Hinata promptly paid the storekeeper (with minimal social interaction, so much so that Sasuke had to convince the man that he was not a ventriloquist and that Hinata was his puppet) and left the store, together with Sasuke.
Sasuke held his arm out to block the girl from going any further down the street.
"Wait, Hinata. There's one thing I'd like from you…"
Sasuke turned to the side of the store again to see if Kiba was still hiding. When he heard Akamaru bark once, he knew he could keep going.
'Okay, Kiba, you better witness this… I only want to do this once…'"Yes, Sasuke-kun?" Hinata asked, stopping to look at him.
"Hinata… would you mind terribly… if I asked you to… kiss me?"
"K-k-kiss? Err… I… sorry, Sasuke-kun, I just can't!" Hinata cried staunchly.
Sasuke, who had his eyes closed and his lips pouted the whole time, suddenly glared at her with a disbelieving scowl.
"What are you talking about? I'm Sasuke. You can kiss me now. C'mon!"
"Sorry, Sasuke-kun!"
And when the young man opened his eyes again, the girl was already dashing as fast as she could down the street back home.
"Kiba! Get up! We've got to chase her before she reaches back home!"
The dog-handler and his pet revealed themselves from behind the dumpster. He didn't like Sasuke's intentions at all, but as long as Naruto's name would be ruined…
"Fine! Akamaru! You lead! Sniff out, Hinata!" Kiba cried to his pooch.
And the dog-man pulled out a few blue strands of hair tied into a ribbon. He whiffed at it deeply in perverted delight and then allowed his dog a sniff to take the scent.
"Hinata's hair?" Sasuke asked pointedly.
"It gives me good luck," Was Kiba's reply.
"Why did you have to smell it like that?" Sasuke asked again.
"Shut-up! The girl is getting away! Let's go!" Kiba cried, going into a sprint.
"Yes! I'll get that girl! I'll get her even if I have to chase her back into her home!" Sasuke cried aloud, catching up to Kiba and Akamaru.
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"DIE, WOMAN! HEAVENLY SPIN!"
"Sixty-four feet in your face technique!"
Suddenly… there was the sound of a door swinging open.
"Hi, Honey," The parents said at the same time to their beloved daughter as they charged their chakra for their techniques.
Only when she had scampered upstairs to her bedroom, had they returned to their battle.
"Huh? Oh-oh," a deep male voice uttered in surprise.
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"Wow! What are the odds, huh?" Kiba cooed to his bed-ridden friend.
Sasuke, who had eagerly chased Hinata back into her home, had unwittingly stepped into a duel between the Hyuuga parents, suffering blows that could kill a normal man. There were red hand and footmarks all over his body.
"It's strange, isn't it? Just how blindly those two folks go at it when they get mad?" Kiba said again, ruffling Akamaru's fur on his lap.
"Ouch… my body… Juken… so powerful…" Sasuke groaned, patting the bandage wrapped around his forehead.
"Well, I couldn't follow you in there… I saw the chakra explosions flashing out the window too, you know. What happened in there? I saw you hesitate, then charge in after her. Did you really get Hinata to kiss you?" Kiba asked curiously.
"I… I… Kiba, you won't believe what happened…Just make sure you tell Naruto that you witnessed the kiss and I'll still give you the two bags of dog food I promised," Sasuke gurgled.
"Y-yes, Sasuke-kun," Kiba replied.
Suddenly, the nurse walked into Sasuke's room.
"Mr. Uchiha? Again? Didn't we have you in recently? Hmm, you're beginning to become quite a regular around here. Just like that other one… what's his name…?" The dear old nurse pondered, searching her mind.
Suddenly, the sound of a curtain drawing over was heard from the bed opposite Sasuke's.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun! It's ME! ROCK LEE!" Lee cried, throwing the two fingers of peace into the air to compliment his broad, shining smile. Suddenly a huge cracking noise was heard, throwing Lee into a yell of pain.
"Oh brother, you're here too? And you're my neighbor? God," Sasuke groaned, feeling the pain in his body begin to grow. "Nurse, can I get a private room?"
"No, I'm afraid we can't do that. You'll be ready to leave here soon!" The nurse giggled. "Hey? Is that a dog? I'm sorry Mr. Inuzuka, but we'll have to ask you to take it outside."
"Okay, I was just leaving anyway," Kiba scowled back at her, nodding at Sasuke and Lee and jumping out of the window of the ward. "Remember the deal!"
"Sasuke! Why are you in here for?" Lee cried with an undying smile after Kiba had left.
"Well, Kiba was helping me trying to get a…" Then, Sasuke stopped.
"Trying to get a what?" Lee asked tentatively.
"Hmm, do you still train with Tenten regularly?" Sasuke asked the other patient, changing his stance in the conversation.
"Yeah, why?" Came the reply.
"Cause I have a feeling…" Sasuke trailed off.
Suddenly, the dark-haired boy felt a strange feeling crawl up his spine and he immediately felt dizzy and light-headed.
"My god! He's fainted!" The nurse cried, turning around from a chart she had been checking in an adjacent bed and seeing Sasuke's head fall suddenly onto his pillow.
"What the? Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun! Talk to me! Why did you want to know if I still trained with Tenten?" Lee cried out.
'Well, that's the first one taken care of…' Sasuke muttered to himself.'Taken care of', indeed.