Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, they totally belong to JK Rowling. She's a fantastic author, and I respect her so much, I would never steal anything or claim anything.
Authors Note: Man, I'm sorry pissed! I've had chapter 12 ready for two days, but everytime I tried to update, the server was too busy. But that isn't an excuse for my lack of updating! I've been busy. Exams are up, I've been taking different kinds of tests; music, english, danish and math. sigh But I managed to get some writing done in between!
A BIGthank you to Lexie who beta-readet this chapter! I didn't know what to do, I don't reallyhave a beta anymore, soIf anyone is interested, please contact me! I'm desperat!
Here's chapter 12, I hope you'll like!
And I would like to apologize to every Ginny/Harry haters. I really despise the parring myself, but just wait and see. There's a meaning with everything, you know!
Drunk
Chapter 12
Talking
"Wh-what?"
Harry pulled back. He stared at Hermione.
Hermione sighed. She was tired of acting ignorant to all the things that was happening around her. She took one of Harry's hands and held it tightly in her own.
"You don't have to lie to me, Harry. I know something is going on between the two of you".
Well, not anymore, Harry thought sadly.
He gently squeezed her hand. "You really do know everything, don't you?"
She smiled sadly. "Well, maybe you could help me to understand some things even better?" she said.
"What if I don't really understand them myself?" Harry said, suddenly looking very tired and helpless.
Hermione leaned forward and looked right into his eyes. Then she talked with calming, earnest words: "You don't have to understand everything, Harry. But whatever it is, I'll do anything to help you".
Harry gave her a small smile. "Thanks."
"Now, talk," she said, moving to sit comfortably on the couch.
"I-I don't know where to start... everything seems so... so messed up."
"You could start with Malfoy." She noticed Harry flinch slightly by the name, and narrowed her eyes. What was really going on with Malfoy?
"I... well, I made a – a terrible mistake... remember the Yule Ball?"
And then he told her everything. He told her about the Vodka, about the way he'd accidentally kissed Draco, about the curse, about Voldemort, about how he and pansy had found Draco alone in the Astronomy Tower, about –
About their night together and how much it hurt when he discovered that Draco didn't remember anything.
When he finally stopped his speech, he found Hermione looking at him with an expression filled with mixed emotions: compassion, worry, trust but also disapproval.
"So..." she said her voice slightly shaky. "You and malfoy..."
"No," said Harry. "Like I said, he doesn't want me. He doesn't remember."
Hermione sighed. "Wow, Harry... it all seems a bit hopeless." She looked at him. "Sorry."
Harry shook his head. "No it's okay... I know it's hopeless, but I can't... I can't stop thinking about him. It's so weird him not remembering, when I have all these images in my head of his naked ski-"
"- Okay, I get it, Harry!" Hermione broke in. "Please, spare the details."
Harry smiled stupidly. "Sorry."
Hermione grinned. "It's okay, just don't do it again. And promise me you won't go looking for Draco. You'll only end up getting hurt."
Harry nodded. I'll do my best.
But he crossed his fingers behind his back.
They spend the rest of the evening doing their homework.
Draco was walking down the corridors on his way to dinner. He hadn't been eating anything for the past 12 hours, now his stomach was screaming for food. He almost felt light-headed, but that was probably also because of the lack of sleep. He had been awake all night, thinking about Voldemort. Suddenly, someone behind him called out his name.
"Malfoy!"
Draco stopped and saw Harry walking towards him.
"What do you want, Potter?" he said tiredly. He really didn't need this right now. He had enough to deal with already. The last thing he wanted was Potter distracting him – wait a minute? Distracting? He forced his eyes from Harry's chest which was very much exposed through the tight T-shirt he was wearing. Get a grip on yourself, Draco! He thought bitterly, not knowing what came over him.
Harry hesitated. "I… wanted to know how you're doing... are you alright?"
Draco searched Harry face. The Gryffindor looked frightened; like he was afraid Draco would push him away.
"I'm fine. Draco then said, shrugging.
He turned to leave, but Harry stepped in front of him, blocking his way.
"What are you doing? Move away!" Draco tried to slip under Harry's arm, but Harry stopped him by putting his hand on Draco's chest.
Draco froze. He grabbed Harry's hand and tore it away from his body.
"Don't touch me", he snarled. The feeling of Harry's hand flat against his chest had woken up something inside him. It was as if Harry had touched his soul, not his body.
And it scared the hell out him.
Harry took a step back. He looked hurt.
"I just... I want to talk to you".
Draco rolled his eyes impatiently. "Well, what do you think we're doing now?"
"It's not the same!" Harry sighed frustrated.
"Potter, you're wasting my time. I thought we were done talking. I have nothing left to talk to you about. You told me..." He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. "...those things. I haven't decided whether I believe you or not...- "
"What?"
Harry glared at him.
Draco shrugged. He didn't really know why he had said that. He did believe Potter, but... he wasn't ready for... "Ready for what?" he suddenly heard the voices whisper. "Are you afraid of letting him in? Letting him know too much?"
He shook his head. "Go away!" he mumbled. When he opened his eyes he saw Harry still watching him, but this time with a worried frown.
"Er... are you talking to yourself, Dra- Malfoy?"
"Of course not!" Draco spat. He could feel his cheeks flush. He didn't want Harry to think he was mental ill or something.
The worried expression Harry had worn turned in to a scowl. "Fine! Do you mind telling me why you think you don't believe me, then?"
Draco sighed. "Look... it was quite a thing you told me yesterday, I had to go think it all over, understand?"
"Of course I do," Harry muttered, sounding irritated.
"Oh my, the Boy-Who-Lived does have a brain," Draco smirked, then continuing before Harry had the time to open his mouth to protest.
"I haven't decided whether to believe you or not, and that's because I don't trust you."
Harry lowered his gaze, looking hurt.
Draco sighed again, rolling his eyes. "Hornestly, Potter, we've been enemies for almost seven years, did you actually think I would embrace you like a brother (a brother ha! – Stop it, Draco), thanking you for opening your heart to me?" He shook his head, laughing. "You have to wake up; Potter, you and me will never evenbe close to friends!"
"But I want you to trust me, Draco! What I told you was the truth."
Draco looked at Harry smiling sadly.
I know, Potter... and that is why I can't let you know. You would get to close.
"Maybe I will, Potter... and maybe I won't." Draco said casually. Then he once again turned to leave.
"Wait...!"
Draco slowly turned around. Harry looked at him pleadingly. "Draco, please,-"
"Jesus, Potter, what? Why can't you just move on? I'm giving you a chance to get on with the wholeMalfoy vs. Potter relationship we have, why don't you take it?"
He glared a Harry.
Harry stared at the floor. He suddenly felt unsure. Why couldn't he move on? What had made him seek out Draco once again?
Right. This is actually a bit embarrassing. Of course he doesn't want to be your friend, you idiot!
He turned his gaze to Draco, his cheeks slightly reddening.
"Er... I don't know."
Draco tilted his head. He looked at him with an amused expression.
"My, Potter! You're not... your not in love with me, are you?"
Draco couldn't help but laughing a little. Then he saw Harry's face darken, and he immediately stopped laughing.
Oh...
"Oh... you are".
Harry's face was now dark-red.
"Look..." Draco sighed suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "You have to stop this, Potter. I can't... be around you, and - and...I'm not interested, okay? You have to forget about it."
"Easy for you to say, "Harry mumbled, looking away.
"Sorry?"
"Nothing, - Draco listen... it's not like I want to have these feelings, but I just can't help it! Every time I see you I – I want to talk to you or just be near you, and I know I can never have that, have you..."Harry looked at him sadly."but... you also have toknow that I remember A LOT more than you do, so please, don't tell me to just forget about everything, 'cause it's really not that easy."
He looked up. Draco was looking at him intensely, his arms crossed.
"Very nice, Potter, but what do you want me to do about it? What do you want?"
Harry sighed helplessly. "I don't know, I just..."
He looked in to Draco's eyes. Once again, he felt himself disappear in a blur of grey and silver, his heart began beating violently and his cheeks flushed from a deep, suppressed longing which was tearing his soul in to pieces. And suddenly... suddenly, it became so very clear what he wanted.
He reached out and grabbed the front of Draco's ropes, pushed him against the wall and kissed him roughly.
Draco opened his eyes in shock and tried to push Harry away, but Harry just pushed into him further, moving his lips over Draco's, forcing him to open his mouth. He lifted his hand to Draco's hair and tangled his fingers in the soft locks. His hand was shaking with lust, his whole body screaming for more, wanting, and needing a response from Draco.
Draco was taken aback by Harry's kiss. For a second he just stood there, letting Harry straddling his lips with his mouth.
Then realization hit him, and he pushed against Harry's chest.
He opened his mouth to protest, but instead felt Harry's tongue hot and demanding in his mouth and he froze. The same weird sensation from when Harry had his palm on his chest suddenly came back, swimming through his veins to his heart. He breathed heavily, panicking.
"Stop!" he managed to croak against Harry's lips.
"Potter, stop!"
With his last forces, he finally managed to push Harry away, who stumbled backwards.
He was breathing heavily, looking dazed like had he just woken up. His eyes were half-closed, his glasses askew.
Draco stepped back, trying to control his own breath.
"What the hell was that all about?"
"Draco..." Harry. He reached out a hand. Draco took another step back.
"Don't call me that!" Draco spat, feeling furious. "And get the fuck away from me, you bloody fag!"
Potter looked like he'd been slapped. He blinked a few times. Then he glared at Draco horrified. It was like he'd only just realized what he had done.
"God, sorry I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me!" Then he turned around and ran away.
Draco let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in, and leaned his head against the wall.
He closed his eyes, but opened them quickly again, when he heard footsteps coming his direction.
He was suddenly aware of the fact that Potter had chosen a very bad place to fulfil his nasty fantasies; anyone could have walked by.
Ginny Weasley appeared from behind the corner. Fist, she didn't see him, but then she turned her head and her face darkened.
"Malfoy", she said nodding casually. She passed him quickly.
"Weasley" he answered, nodding as well.
She was just at the stairs, when Draco called out to her.
"Looking for Potter?"
She stopped and turned around.
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes," she said, trying to sound brave.
Draco lifted a hand to his mouth. His lips still felt swollen from the kiss. If he'd been alone this very moment he would probably have been conjuring a tooth brush to get rid of the taste of Harry, or he would have been spitting all over the place, but the look on Weasley's face was holding him back.
Well, this is much better!
He smirked. Putting on his most charming smile, he pointed in the other direction from where she'd just come. "He went that way"
She narrowed her eyes. "And why should I believe you, Malfoy?" she said challengingly. "How do I know that you're not trying to trick me into one of Peeve's traps or something like that?"
He shrugged innocently. "I saw him leaving myself. Actually, you've just missed him."
He smirked again. For some strange reason he wanted to really hurt this red-headed girl. Not just because she was a Weasley, but something else...
"So, Harry was here?" she asked, taking a small step forward.
"He sure was", Draco smiled evilly.
"And... you talked to him?" Weasley said in disbelief.
Draco stepped away from the wall and stretched. He felt his T-shirt gliding up a little and saw Weasley blushing slightly.
"I don't think 'talking' is the right word, Weasel", he said grinning nastily. "Let's just say that Potter isn't as shy and innocent as he might seem to be".
Weasley looked doubt founded for a few seconds. Then she stammered. "You mean, you two fought again?"
Draco was now smirking almost scarily.
"Not exactly..."
Then it slit in. She looked at him horrified.
"Malfoy, you nasty son of a Death Eater, how dare you tell such lies!"
Then she ran down the stairs and disappeared. Draco couldn't help laughing.
He looked down at the hallway sighing quietly.
Potter, Potter... you sure know how to make troubles for yourself.
He thought about the kiss again and stopped smiling.
And for me too...
He walked back to his dormitory, thoughts swimming through his head.
"I HATE malfoy!"
Harry's head snapped up as he heard the portrait hole closing with a loud crash. He'd been sitting cursing himself for kissing Draco, when Ginny came rushing in to the common room, looking like she wanted to kill somebody.
"Ginny, what...?"
"One day I'm going to really hurt him, that little, irritating prat!"
"That's my girl", Ron said from his spot on the sofa beside Hermione. They were writing on their essay about how to turn a stick into a spoon.
Hermione didn't say anything, but looked at Harry intensely.
"What did he do now?" Harry asked casually, moving a little for Ginny to sit beside him.
"He crossed a line this time", she said, throwing her legs onto Harry's lap. He instantly felt the urge to push them down. God, he was such a jerk.
"Doesn't he do that all the time?" Ron said, and leaned over and peeked down to Hermione's notes. She swapped his head with her book. "Ron, for God's sake!"
Ginny angrily punched the sofa with her fist. "This time he said something really horrible about Harry! God, I wanted to smack his face!"
"You should have, it's great", Hermione said, shrugging. Ron looked at her like he wanted to kiss her.
Harry gulped. This didn't sound good.
"What did he say?"
Ginny paused. She almost looked as if she was embarrassed. "Well... he said that he'd been talking to you before I came (Harry tried not to blush) and... and he made it sound like you, the two of you... well, you know... snogged!" Ron made a choking sound. "What?"
"I told you, he was a jerk," Ginny said and looked at Harry like she expected him to start complaining about Draco. "But he didn't have to be disgusting! I mean, like you would ever... yuck!"
Harry didn't say anything. He just remained on his spot on the sofa, completely lost for words.
He told Ginny!
Ron immediately started a long speech about psycho-Slytherins and bad lies. Hermione sat still, acting like she was listening to Ron, but looking at Harry like she was afraid he might say something.
"... and we should really tell Dumbledore about the way he's trying to destroy Harry's reputation, he won't get away with this! What do you think, Harry? – Harry!"
Harry forced his head to turn toward Ron's voice and nodded distractedly. "Er... sure."
He hadn't heard a word of what he'd said.
Ginny nuzzled his cheek. "He's just jaleous! I mean, I'm dating the cutest boy in Hogwarts!" She smiled. Harry tried to smile back, but only managed to make a weird grimace. Then he paled. Ginny was starting to lean in.
He felt his heart racing in his chest. This was stupid, he'd kissed her many times before!
Without noticing, he was leaning back, trying to get away from her now half-opened mouth. Don't kiss me, Ginny, he though. I don't want you near me like that, go away!
Her lips were only just touching his, almost reaching...
Harry ducked, and stood up. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed."
He could feel her confused stare burning in his back as he left the room"?
"Pansy!"
Draco slammed the portrait hole behind him and strode into the Slytherin common room. He searched for a certain face among his Slytherin fellows, and finally found what he'd been looking for. In two long strides, he was standing in front of Pansy who looked up in his face, her eyes widening in panic.
"I need to talk to you now!" he said, crossing his arms.
Pansy blinked and gave him a forced smile. "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time right now, I'm doing my Transfiguration essay."
Draco reached out and snapped the haft-written essay from her lap and threw it into the flames.
"I said NOW!"
Several heads turned in their direction, watching them curiously.
Pansy looked around the room nervously. It wasn't often Draco lost his temper and when he did, you certainly didn't want to be the one who had made him mad. "I - I don't want to talk to you," she said trying to sound brave.
Draco didn't hesitate, but grabbed Pansy's arm and dragged her away brutally. He kicked the door to the dormitory open, and pushed Pansy inside.
"Beat it!", he sneered at Crabbe and Goyle who were sitting on their beds eating home-made cookies.
They got up and left without a word. Draco once again turned his attention towards pansy.
"I'm tired of you avoiding me, Pansy," he said coolly. "We have some things to discuss and you better not run away this time. I want straight answers, got it?"
"You burned my essay."
"Yes."
Pansy sat down on Draco's bed. She looked at her nails. "Look, I have no idea what you're talking about, Draco dearest," she said, looking up and smiling nastily.
"But Pansy, dearest,"Draco said faking a sweet voice. "You must! Or I'll tell your father about your nightly escapades with different... not-purebloods."
For a second Pansy paled. Then she suddenlystarted laughing.
Draco glared at her. "What's so goddamn funny?" he yelled angrily. Pansy stopped laughing, but kept smirking, wiping away a tear from her lashes.
"Come on, Draco! You are threatening me?" She laughed again, shaking her head. "If I told your father everything I know, he would kill you on the spot."
This was alarming. Draco had wanted to ask pansy about what she new, just to be 100 percent sure that Harry had really spoken the truth. And by the sound of Pansy's almost too calm voice, he had. Pansy definitely knew something.
Darco gave her an icy stare. "Well, since you are so sure of yourself, why don't you just tell me what you know?"
Pansy lay down on the bed, making herself comfortable on the sheets. Draco scowled. He didn't like people invading his private areas. Especially not his bed.
"Hm, where should I start," she said glaring up at the ceiling, tapping her chin with her finger, looking like she was thinking hard. "Oh yeah, what about the fact that you were crying alone in the Astronomy Tower, babbling about how You-Know-Who had done some terrible things to you, or maybe about when Potter was soothing you, holding your head between his hands, acting like you were his secret lover or something..." She shuddered slightly.
"And then..." She paused. He could hear her sharp intake of breath, like she was trying to calm herself down.
"Then you actually... then you started..."
"Started what?" Draco asked, although he already knew the answer.
"Then I left, because the two of you were going to have sex, and I sure as hell didn't want to stay and watch!" she spat.
Draco closed his eyes. It's true then...
Pansy looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you even asking me this, Draco?" She asked narrowing her eyes. "I mean, you must know, you were there!"
"That's the problem, I don't remember," Draco whispered, not looking at her. The information about himself and Potter was distracting him.
Pansy's eyes widened. "You don't remember? What did Potter do? Knock your headin the middle of the act?"
Draco gave her a deadly glare. "Don't even start."
Pansy smiled evilly. "Why, did I hit a nerve?" Draco felt the rage building up inside of him. "Stop. Now."
"You seem pretty nervous about me mentioning Potter; do you love him or something?"
Draco closed his eyes. He tried to breathe in slow.
"I mean, you have to feel something or you wouldn't have cried in front of him... or maybe you just wanted tomake him pity you and thenfuck him? Is that the reason? You wanted to fu,-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, PARKINSON, OR I'LL HEX YOU!" Draco roared. He was shaking with fury, staring wildly at her.
Pansy's face reddened. She rose to the floor. "NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, DRACO! What you did was wrong! You were with a boy, and not just a boy – your enemy! OUR enemy! I could have told everybody what I saw, but I didn't, and you know why? Because I love you! I've always loved you, and I didn't want to destroy your life! But now you're destroying mine! And it'sallhis fault, stupid, bloody Potter! He took you from me, and I HATE him!"
Pansy looked at him, her lower-lip trembling. "I hate him..." whispered.
Draco looked at Pansy, shocked. He didn't know what to say.
He slowly walked to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I... I'm sorry Pansy; I never knew you felt this way." Pansy laughed bitterly. "No surprise, you always had a lot of focus on yourself."
Draco kept quiet. "You know... I really don't like Potter."
Pansy gave him a small smile through the tears. "You were never good at lying, Draco, so don't make a fool of yourself and try to."
Then she turned around and left the room.
Draco kept starring at the closed door until his eyesbegan watering.
TBQ
Again, please review! I really love reading them, and it's really making me want to keep writing!
If you want to see how my work with Drunk goes along, check out Livejournal: http/ again, if anybody's interested in Beta-reading Drunk, please contact me!
Stine