When it's Tenten who makes the mistake because of her own insecurity, will it be to late to fix it? Will it ever turn out okay, or will she be to late?
Foolish
By Gasha Aisu
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
A/N: Remember when I said "I'll just torture them again later"? Well, I felt like torturing my favourite characters again, is that so wrong?(angelic smile)
o.0.o.
Tenten sighed as she stared out of the window of her apartment.
She felt empty.
Tenten frowned, thinking it over as she had nothing else to do on this rainy night. She had finished training before it began to rain, taken a shower and took some tea. Yet somehow, the familiar pattern of life wasn't so familiar anymore. She had this hollow feeling that wouldn't go away. She had it for a while now, but she had ignored it, thinking it would. But as she stared into the blackness of the night, she had no other option then to think about it.
Tenten knew something was missing.
Something was missing from her life. One corner of her mouth lifted sardonically by that thought. She, a Konoha killer, a ninja a servant to the village, was missing something. As if her life wasn't enough when it was filled with blood, terror and raging battles which involved jutsu's who could make people suffer endlessly. Why wasn't it enough?
Tenten frowned as she sulkily leaned on the palm on her hand, her elbow leaning on the windows till.
Since when did she have this empty feeling? Since when did…
Her breath caught in her throat as she unwillingly thought of that again.
No, no she didn't want to think about it.
The anger in his milky white eyes, his mouth set in a firm line.
No, no everything had gone so well, everything had been just fine.
His frown as he said nothing for a while, disapproval radiating from him.
She had forgotten, so why did she remember now? Hadn't she moved on already?
"Your being childish,"
She only stood up for herself, just that one time. He had been angered at her many times before, why couldn't she…
His defeat as he gazed down on her, hardly as affected as she had thought, no, as she had hoped.
Yet it had gone completely out of control, just because she was mad for a change.
"Very well, I'll see to it that it will go as you wish, you will not have to speak to me ever again,"
His formal tone and his lack of caring had cut her deep. She had been hurt. While the only thing she wanted was him to hurt for a change.
"I'll go to see the hokage now, telling her you wasted years of training with your selfish needs,"
Tenten cringed and closed her eyes by the mere memory. She had wanted him to care…
"Goodbye Tenten,"
He hadn't.
It had been so easy for him. The only thing that mattered to him was the training that was "wasted". For he needed somebody to adjust to him, to know his weak points so that he could improve them, yet be challenging enough to strengthen his strong points as well. That was the only thing he could think of, the only thing that mattered. It didn't matter that they had been friends, it didn't matter that she would be gone. It had only been of importance that she took her weapons with her. No, Neji didn't miss her.
Tenten pulled away from the window to ease into her seat. He had kept his word, he hadn't spoken with her, he hadn't looked at her, he hadn't even noticed her.
Suddenly Tenten became aware that she didn't feel empty anymore. That she felt sadness rest inside of her. Tenten looked at her hands. Her toughened hands from battle, her left thump wearing the scar of one of his attacks in training. She smiled a sad smile as she traced the scar with her finger.
And she hadn't even thought of Lee.
Yes, she had also, in a way, lost Lee. Lee was still her best friend, her "little brother", yet as Neji leaved the room she was in, Lee would always follow him. Every time she talked to Lee, they found they had little to talk about. Since Tenten was transferred to another team, she didn't spend as much time with Lee as she had, had. But then, their schedules clashed too.
Suddenly Tenten felt empty again.
Frowning and thoroughly annoyed with herself, Tenten stood with a huff. Turning so her back was to the window, she didn't want to see the cold uncaring rain. Lee and her where going to be fine, and she didn't need that Hyuuga bastard. She was fine without him, she didn't need to support him any longer, she didn't need to be his friend anymore, it was a relief not to deal with him. And she wasn't convincing herself, she was just stating obvious facts.
Then why did she feel empty except…
Tenten frowned as she turned her head to look back at the window. Except when she was filled with sadness. Tenten sighed frustrated as she admitted she was horrible at lying to herself. She missed the bastard, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Tenten closed her eyes and took a shaking breath. Yet the minute she closed her eyes, images came back to her, to haunt her. She frowned as she forced them out of her mind. She wasn't going to think about how caring he had been under his impassive mask. Nor thinking of his annoyed frown when Lee was being loud again. Thinking of their training…they had always been close when they trained together. As if nobody existed but them, she had found peace in the weapons and Neji and how his eyes seemed to brighten and…
Tenten blinked. What if he had felt the same way? What if that was what he had been trying to say? Did he care after al? Tenten knew she should let it go, but she was unwilling to. What if she was right? Hope blossomed as she found she wasn't feeling empty anymore.
Maybe she just needed Neji to fill the emptiness, perhaps she cared more for him than she had thought.
She had thought she loved him.
Now she had the suspicion that she was in love with him.
Suddenly the rain wasn't as cold and uncaring as it looked like a few minutes ago. Suddenly it was as if it was offering a cool embrace that would soothe her heated stubborn heat and give her the strength to look for him. To go to him.
Could she?
Suddenly Tenten became scared. Scared of his reaction, scared of her own reaction on confronting him once again. Had Neji been right? Has she really been childish in her hysterics? What if he had banned her out of his life, out of his head? What if he didn't want to see her again.
The empty feeling seemed to consume her.
Wasn't sadness better then this hollow, empty feeling?
Without thinking, Tenten ran out the door, only wearing simple pants, shirt and her sandals.
0.0.o.o.
Tenten ignored any of the few villager outside their house in her path as she ran were Neji lived. She ran as she found courage in the hollow sound of her plashing footsteps. She could do this. She could confront him. Tenten knew she was soaked, she knew she looked like a mess, but she didn't care. She could fix things. Perhaps she could get Neji back.
"Where are you going?"
Tenten stopped suddenly as she was surprised at the tone of her former team mate's voice. Frowning she turned to Lee, who looked more serious then she ever saw him. His eyes scared her as they looked right through her. His expression was stern, an expression she'd never seen on his face before.
"Lee?" Tenten questioned softly.
"Do you really think you can fix things now?" Lee hissed, and Tenten cringed. She had never seen Lee this mad before. What was wrong with him?
"L-Lee?" Tenten stuttered, to surprised and to caught in his angry gaze to think of a different reply. Lee's hands were clenched into fists as he struggled to control his temper.
"I know were you're going. You're going to see Neji, aren't you?" Lee asked, although there was hardly any question in his tone. Unable to say anything, Tenten just nodded. She didn't like this feeling, the feeling of anger Lee was giving off.
'Are you really that naïve Tenten?" Lee spat, "Do you really think that, just because you finally summoned the courage and strength to go to him, that everything is going to be alright? Are you that self-centred?"
"What are you talking about Lee? What's wrong with you? I never seen you like this before!" Tenten finally replied, frowning in confusion.
"I'm talking about that you're not thinking. I'm saying that you're not the only one hurt!" Lee hissed, his voice dangerously low. Tenten opened her mouth but Lee continued before she could say anything.
"And I'm not talking about me either," he added, to make sure she got the point.
"Neji…" the name left her lips before she realised it. Lee nodded grimly.
"You hurt him deeply, Tenten,"
The words struck her as her eyes widened. The rain fell on numb skin as she didn't even notice it. The world looked as if it stood still as all she could do was stare in Lee's eyes.
"I…hurt….him?" Tenten uttered, still unwilling to believe it. But his eyes had looked so cold…
"You know him better then I do Tenten, you know he retreats behind his neutral mask when hurt. If you really didn't know you hurt him, it was only because you didn't want to know. He trusted you Tenten…more then anybody,"
Tenten knew what Lee meant. She remembered clearly, the day she and Neji became close. Neji had been hurt in a fight, and she had stood before him. Neji and Lee had become completely silent when she vowed to prevent anyone from hurting him.
Now she had hurt him herself.
She had thought that would give her satisfaction. She thought she had been happy to know that she could do the same as he did to her. She had thought that, that was what she wanted.
It wasn't.
And it hurt like hell.
"Lee….what can I-" Tenten whispered but Lee laughed bitterly, interrupting her.
"I told you, it isn't that easy." Then finally, he seemed to cool down as his eyes softened along with his voice, "I don't know if you can do anything Tenten,"
Was everything lost? Could she do nothing to take back those hateful words she had spat at him? She had said that she had enough, that he didn't care for her and that she couldn't deal with it any longer. That he was an arrogant bastard who couldn't see what was in front of him. That he couldn't see just how much she trusted him, protected him, and cared for him. That he didn't care and never would, because he would never change and that he would remain what he was now.
A heartless bastard.
He said she was being childish, and she had wanted him to hurt. She had wanted him to hurt so badly, that she claimed that she wanted out of the team. That she didn't care what happened to her, as long as she was away from him. He had only said that it was a waste of years training, but now she remembered the defeated look in his eyes. She had hurt him, she had defeated him, she had made him willing to everything she wanted, just because he was to tired to care.
Just with a few words.
He had been called that before, but never by her. He had thought that she cared for him, and that she would never say those words. He had told her once, that it didn't hurt him because he didn't care. He didn't care for those people.
Suddenly, Tenten was struck by the unfairness of it all.
"Oh? So he can hurt me as much as he wants, but when I do the same it's unacceptable?" Tenten asked, anger taking over the pain she felt.
Lee gave her a knowing look. "We both know that he doesn't mean it that way," Lee said calmly.
"And what makes you think I did?" Tenten countered, and was surprised by his response.
"Your eyes,"
Tenten knew it was true.
Tenten had meant it when she said that it hurt her, and that she couldn't deal with it anymore. She had meant it when she said that it hurt her that he didn't see how much she cared for him. And when she had said the words to hurt him, she had meant them.
But only for that moment.
Suddenly, Tenten knees gave away as she fell to her knees on the mud. She shook as she tried to hold back the tears.
She almost wished she felt empty again.
The pain, the pain of betraying his trust, the pain of her own weakness. The realisation as to why Lee always followed Neji out of the room. How could she been so blind? She was a hypocrite, claiming that Neji didn't want to see her feelings, yet doing the same to him.
"I'm a horrible person," Tenten whispered as she closed her eyes, fighting the tears.
"Tenten…"
But she didn't want to hear it. She needed to get away. Without saying anything, she slammed her hands to the ground, jumped on her feet and took off.
Trying to outrun the pain.
o.o.0.0.
After exhausting herself and falling on the ground, barely conscious, Lee had found her. Tenten had been to tired to struggle and had allowed him to bring her back to her house. Only the minute she awoke from sleep, her eyes immediately saddened.
There was nothing she could do.
The world seemed empty and frozen as she got up to make herself tea. Tenten stared ahead for a moment, before she grabbed a cup and filled it with the hot boiling water. After she had added the tea, she didn't move. She just stood silently, the cup still in her hands, it was as if she had frozen as well. Finally she blinked and took a sip, before sighing and turning to go to her living room. Yet as she walked she happened to glance at the mirror and she froze once again. Blankly she stared at her reflection.
She never noticed the cup falling out of her hands.
Finally she turned away from her image to nervously grab the shards, and in her haste she cut herself. She didn't even flinch as she got rid of the cups and cleaned her hands. She trembled and put her unwounded hand on her forehead.
What was happening to her?
Was that sadness she had seen really in her own eyes? Why was she so upset that she didn't care about other things anymore.
Because she betrayed him. Because she hurt him.
This was ridiculous, he had hurt her dozen of times. Frowning determent, Tenten ordered herself to get a hold of herself.
She hated weakness, she hated it just as much as hesitating. She would not allow herself to do this. She would not allow herself to hesitate and look back on her path. She would not allow herself to hurt this much.
Tenten needed a mission.
0.o.0.o.
Tenten didn't bother to knock as she stormed into Tsunade's office.
"Give me a mission," she demanded of the surprised Tsunade who looked up from paperwork she was actually doing for a change.
Tsunade calmly raised an eyebrow and gestured to the seat before her desk. She waited until Tenten sat before calmly finishing the document she was working on. Placing it neatly away, Tsunade finally looked the brunette in the eye.
"Why?" Tsunade asked simply, as she folded her hands in front of her.
Tenten scowled and looked away.
"It doesn't matter why. Just give me a mission that's dangerous and will take me far away," Tenten replied shortly, and tensed as she noted the disrespect in her tone.
"Tenten," warned Tsunade.
"Gomen, Tsunade-sama. I just….I need a mission," Tenten apologised and looked into Tsunade's eyes. Tsunade nodded in understanding. Tsunade then looked away from Tenten and organised some random files as she asked casually,
"Is this about the fight you had with Neji?"
Tenten flinched as if she'd been hit. Feeling uncomfortable she knew she had to speak the truth.
"I can't focus, keep drifting of and wondering about things I can't change. I hate it! I don't want to sulk around in the house, I need to do something useful!" Tenten cried passionately before she closed her eyes and forced herself to calm, "I know I sound hysteric now, Tsunade-sama. But I assure you I'll be perfectly calm on the mission,"
" I have no doubt that you will," Tsunade replied calmly and meant it, "But you're still getting used to your team, so I think you should focus on them. Gai assured me that it would be permanent, or are you having doubts?"
When Tenten shook her head Tsunade sighed and folded her hands before her on her desk.
"Although one of your team mates is on a personal mission…" Tsunade began, but never got the chance to end her sentence for suddenly Lee stormed into her office.
"Hokage-sama!" Lee cried passionately at the annoyed Tsunade.
"Why is everyone suddenly storming into my office today!" she asked irritated at no one in particular.
"I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. But the team you send yesterday is in trouble!" Lee said, bowing shortly in respect. Tsunade frowned.
"What?" she snapped, and Lee handed her a scroll. Tsunade's eyes flew over the paper, before she nodded.
"Very well, Lee are you available?" Tsunade asked, and Lee nodded. For a moment she was silent before she closed her eyes a second. When she opened them, she looked first at Tenten, then at Lee.
"Tenten you will accompany Lee as back-up. But first I need you insurance…" Tsunade trailed of for a moment before she looked directly into Tenten's eyes, "That you can handle protecting and helping everyone of Konoha, including your former team mates,"
For a moment the office was silent as both Lee as Tenten tensed. Team mates…that meant both Lee as…Neji… Tenten hardly had to think it over.
"I will," she said, looking into Tsunade's eyes.
And she meant it.
0.o.
Tenten could feel the wind starting to pick up, a storm was approaching. She glanced at Lee who nodded, he thought the same. Both picked up their pace.
"Tenten…" Lee said softly, and Tenten looked to the side. Lee wasn't looking at her, but she knew he was judging her reaction from the corner of his eyes.
"You sure you'll be focussed enough for this?" he asked, and Tenten frowned at him. She turned away from him and concentrated on what was before her.
"I wouldn't come if I didn't think so, Lee," Tenten replied her voice more steady then she felt. She wasn't sure if she'd be focussed enough, in fact, she had a feeling that Neji would distract her. But she would not let Lee go alone, she wanted to see for herself whether Neji was alright, she simply had to. Besides, she could see this as a test.
And she just had to make sure she passed.
The trees were slowly becoming less and less and they reached a open landscape. Tenten and Lee halted and stood side by side, overseeing the situation.
There were dead bodies everywhere.
Yet between the bodies people were still courageously fighting. Lee glanced at her, and his eyes flickered to his left before turning back to her. Tenten nodded in response and they took of, Lee to the left she to the right.
Her first victim was quickly made, a quick stab in his neck was efficient enough. A alley of theirs nodded at her, and she flashed him a smile before she silently took off again. The enemies took a while to notice the two new ninja's since both her and Lee were silent. But soon Tenten was covered in sweat. Without a moment of hesitation she slammed two scrolls in the ground and prepared her hand seals, her eyes on the five before her. Lee however kicked two away.
"Tenten!" He yelled, while he stood before her preparing to take them on, "Go help Neji!"
His mere name sent a shock through her whole system.
Quickly she glanced to the side, and there he was, fighting of about seven enemies.
His eyes were dead. His expression empty. He didn't even yell in pain when he was badly hurt in the side.
Without thinking she sped off.
She watched Neji turn to hit one of his enemies, throwing him against another. Sweat flew as he turned quickly again and hit another one.
She let out her trusty katana, her eyes fixed on the sight before her.
Neji coolly reflected the weapons thrown at him. Yet somehow it wasn't arrogance he was giving of, like he normally was, instead it was as if he didn't care at all. Like he only fought only because that was what was expected of him, not because he wanted to live.
She was almost there.
He twisted to kick another enemy away. He couldn't dodge one who pierces his sword through his side, as he stabled himself he could only watch the other coming at him with a katana. Yet his eyes never changed.
In a flash, Tenten was before him. Her arms shook with the force the other inflicted, but she held on, her eyes determent.
"Tenten," Neji stated.
His voice was dead.
With a grunt she managed to throw him off, and swung her katana slicing him open. The turned to look at him briefly.
"Neji," Tenten stated, her voice soft. He threw the enemy and his sword off him, before he stilled completely, and ignored the other enemies coming at him. Tenten frowned as he did nothing, one enemy reaching him already. On instinct she was besides him, her katana already imbedded in the enemies body. Tenten pulled it out of his body, and didn't even watch her enemy fall to his knees, instead her eyes focussed on Neji's.
"I don't care," Neji stated, and Tenten knew he was talking about his life.
"I do," she responded, her voice as calm and steady as she felt, "I won't let you die…Neji!"
With that she twisted and slid through another ones throat.
Neji watched impassively as she killed yet another for him. His hair danced because of the wind as she killed one who had come close. His eyes never left her, as Tenten slowly was covered in blood and sweat.
All for him.
Her breathing was becoming harsher as she is obviously becoming tired. Tenten closed her eyes forcefully, and then opened them again. She wouldn't give in, she wouldn't give in to the exhaustion of her body, the screaming of her muscles and her heart breaking because Neji truly didn't care. She washurting, but somehow she wasglad, for she felt shedeserved it.
The three strongest were still standing.
Tenten raised her bloody katana, her eyes looking over it, still burning.
The three prepared to attack, and the katanawent to her side.
The three attacked, and she pushed off to meet them.
After a long fight she managed to kill one, but her sidewas badly bleeding aswas the wound above her eye. The two left grinned and charged again, and Tenten glanced behind her at Neji. Neji held her eyes before she couldn't stand it any longer and looked away.
Her katana clashed with another, and shewas halted for itwas a battle between forces.
But therewas one left.
Her eyes widened when she saw him charging at her, he obviously had forgotten about Neji. She gritted her teeth as she prepared herself for the pain, for the otherwas not allowing her to escape.
But the enemy stopped in mid run and coughed out blood before falling to the ground, revealing a heavily breathing and bleeding Neji.
Tenten's eyes widened when a sword was pierced through a suprised Neji. She could only watch as Neji fell to the ground, his head lifted to the sky, his eyes wide and his hair coming loose. As Tenten saw the woman standing behind him, a enemy both she as Neji hadn't seen coming for his chakra was to low for him to be able to use his bloodline limit, something snapped.
Tenten screamed as she slid of her sword from the enemy's, allowing him to cut her arm but killing him directly after. Tears flew behind her as she charged at the woman, still screaming with rage.
She never got the chance to tell him she's sorry.
She never got the chance to beg for forgiveness.
She never got the chance to tell him how she felt.
Now she'll be empty forever.
All because of that woman.
"Tenten!" Lee screamed, but she didn't care what he had to say nor really hear him for that matter. The woman eyes widened, and she was unprepared for the speed Tenten's tired and beaten body suddenlywas capable off. Tenten cut right through her, breathing heavily as she watched the woman fell. Then she closed her eyes, and her control, the last control she had, broke even though she tried to keep it. Tears escaped her as she stood frozen, before her katana fell uselessly to her side.
"Neji!" she screamed and she turned to run to him.
But she knew it was toolate.
She would be empty forever. And he would never know how much she loved him.
She fell to her knees beside him, and stared at his face, his eyeswere closed.
"Neji," she sobbed, hoping to awaken him.
Neji didn't respond.
"Neji," Tenten tried again, harder this time, a note of hysteric in her voice.
Neji's face remained blank, and more pale then usual.
"Neji!" Tenten cried and bowed herself over him.
She was only half aware of footsteps approaching before darkness claims her.
the end...
Don't you just love open endings? (dodges stuff thrown at her)
No? Well that's okay then.
Please tell me what you think, and I'll start on a happy ending to post as chapter two okay?
Until next time,
Gasha Aisu.