Chapter 14

Everything was set and all were excited. The Yule ball would be the very next days.

Christmas Eve had come.

All but one person but was happy.

As much as she tried to hide her pain Elle couldn't. "Just put on a smile," she said to herself in the mirror and went down to the common room.

"Everyone's going out for a snow ball fight Elle, are you coming?" said her brother.

Everyone seemed to be Hermione, Ron, Neville, Emily and Ginny.

"No you go on," said Elle and sat down with a book.

"Are you ok," said Harry to her.

"Fine you go have fun," she smiled and watched as they all left.

Fred who had just come down the stairs saw his ex looking so down and went to her side "he wouldn't want you to be said Elle, he loved you. I'm sure of it."

"You remembered" she asked kind of shocked.

"Of course I did, you were so sad, how could I forget," he said to her honestly. "I missed my Elle when you were so upset. Albert, I am sure, meant a lot to you."

"More than you will ever know." whispered Elle. "Do I have a right to mourn for him? I wasn't his real granddaughter after all," she stated a fact.

"Of course you do hunny. He never knew any better."

"He might have."

"I know for a fact you don't believe that," said Fred sensitivity taking he hand. Elle looked at him. How did he know her so well? Of course she didn't believe that. Albert had been a good man and he would never allow his son to do such a cowardly thing. Not to an innocent baby.

"Your right I don't but I wish I did and then maybe I wouldn't be upset!" she said.

"Darling," he said taking her in his arms and letting her cry.

It was days like these any child would struggle to cope. Albert's death had never really got to her until now. Holding on to Fred, they sat round the fire quietly as they may have least Christmas, when they had been simply just so in love with one another. The felling he loved her still so was overpowering him. It had been one stupid mistake. And he was paying for it now wasn't he? And so was his girl.

Above all things he was glad that day that when she had been in need he had been the one but her side.

"Darling?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yes Freddie," she asked as if she was that sweet girlfriend of the past again.

"Go to the ball with me."

Elle sighed. Half off her at that moment wanted to say yes. He had been there for her today when no one else had and being so close to him made her realize if she still loved him even if she was not in love with him which she wasn't. But her feelings for him were strong. From the bottom of her heart.

"I cant, I'm already going with Neville and I can't betray his trust," she said to him even though half of her heart wanted to go with Fred now.

That day was spent with Fred. They talked of the old time and he let her speak of her uncle and aunt. Her desire to go back to her old life was on that day almost overwhelming.

They walked round the lake like they did when they were in love and when Katie and George, who were still very much in love, saw them together George wondered if his twin and Elle were giving things san other go.

"No just hanging out for the day," Elle responded.

That night at dinner the four sat together as they would last year.

Neville saw this and felt sick. She was his date and yet she was still hanging out with him. The boy who had hurt and humiliated her. He didn't get it. What was wrong with her? And why was she so blind to Neville's emotions. He had cared for her for so long and yet it still felt like she was rejecting him.

Maybe they just weren't meant to be. That night as Elle got in to bed she felt all the better for spending the day with her freed. He was still a big part of her; she had seen that above all other things today.

She had blocked him out and that had been a mistake. He was her first true love. And he still meant so much to her. Her heart.

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As she sat round the table Beth felt uncomfortable.

Why had Elle kept this from her? Had she thought it'd been a good joke because she didn't find it funny?

She was sitting with Elle's mum and dad, her granddad and cousin, plus Mel and Sirius and Elle's godfather.

"So …….." said James trying to break the silence.

"Do you too know the sex of my new godchild yet?" Asked Sirius.

"No we've decided not to ask." lily said. "We've decided to wait until the birth."

"No way! You can not do that to me!" whined Sirius.

"We can and we are."

"Be careful." muttered Beth. "He might kill you."

"What did you say?" asked Mel who had heard.

"It doesn't matter."

Dudley breathed in and out. After the summer he had gained a great respect for all of the adults in the maraudering family. When no one had been there to turn to in his own family they had been and now they were his family. Hearing someone talked about them like Beth did angered him. He had just like Elle and Harry heard the full story and in fact believed him.

No one said anything of it but no one wanted Beth here from thst moment on at least Dudley didn't. Neither did the potters. She had no right, in there opinion to go in to there home and insult there best friend who was loyal to them.

Christmas Eve had never been so sad.

As Marcus watched the boy he now considered to be his son, court hearing or no, he was worried. He was off his food like he hadn't been since August and a loss was in his eyes. The young man had never been happy for years now ever since his sister had left for Hogwarts. But today it was more.

Later that night when everyone was going to bed Mel went to her daughter in anger. What ever her fiancée was he was no murderer.

"You have never been the easiest child to deal with but you embarrassed me tonight young lady. Explain yourself."

"He is a loser mum. He's a loser. I hate him."

"You never gave him a chance!"

"I don't care I know he's type," said the blacked haired girl in just as much frustration.

"How dare you Bethany. You know nothing about him." said Mel and stormed out the room. Sirius had down his best to be kind to her and she had thrown it back ion his face like a spoiled brat.

"I'm so sorry," said Mel as she got in to bed with her fiancée.

"shh baby it is not your fault," he soothed her holding her close.

"I should have told her sooner," said Mel in reflection.

"Baby you can't change the past."

"I know."

"If only I could, we could have had our kids."

"We still can."

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"Are you still up for to night?" the boy whispered in her ear.

"Of I am why wouldn't I bed?" asked the auburn haired girl.

"Because I saw you yesterday with Fred and I just didn't know." said Neville shakerly.

"Listen what ever went on was strictly as friends." admitted Elle.

"Good then tonight's still on."

"Course." She smiled at him.

Elle was glad it was Christmas day. There was a spirit in the air that lifted her heart to the sky. She felt so much happier. Looking at Neville she wasn't sure how he felt about her. They had agreed friends but the seemed so protective of her in the way Fred had been but then it had been welcome but not now. She wanted to be more independent this year, in some respective.

But yesterday had felt so right, she thought. If only she could trust Fred, but really she couldn't not yet.

You're meant to be with Neville. Her head told her. If only her heart thought the same.

Some days it had done. She was so confused.

Some day it was like he was her knight in shining armor just waiting to sweep her off on her feet, but others the thought of them grossed her out.

That wasn't real love, was it? But when he was there, holding her, the day in the snow. She didn't k now who she felt any more.

But how ever she felt at seven that night herself, Emily, and Ginny, who was spending the night with Elle's brother, presented themselves to there 'dates.'

Ginny looked stunning gin a nice pink dress robe that she carried well and suited her. Her long red hair was let loose held in place by a butterfly slid. Harry was dumbfounded.

As Emily walked down the stairs she looked like a princess. The blue on her dress robe was perfectly complemented by the color of her eye and she was beautiful. Ron couldn't hold in his excitment.

Lastly Elle came down. Wearing a dress robe that was the same vibrate color of her hair.

"Oh Elle," said Harry. His sister looked amazing.

Standing there she looked so like herself. So happy, So full like she once had when she was young. What he was forgetting of course was that when she wanted be, she was a great actress.

"Mr long bottom, I believe you were expecting me." she said.

"Yes," he whispered nervously.

The six of them went down to the ball as a group and watched happily as Ginny and Harry danced round the floor with all the other champion to open the Yule ball to all the others. Hermione was the best looking girl at the ball with out a doubt. Elle watched as he stepped on Ginny toes and laughed. As shier eyes rose they met Fred's.

He looked handsome tonight.

He winked at her and longing for him momentarily entered her heart. He's my one weakness, she thought. No one else made her feel so, powerless over her heart.

After that the bests feast even by Hogwarts standards was severed.

Elle sat by her danced partner and her Ron and Emily, whose company she enjoyed very much.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked as they had both finished and everyone else was on the floor.

Neville was rather clumsy and kept stepping on her feet.

"Don't worry," she whispered to him. Holding on tot each other they seemed so happy. Her heart was torn in turn.

"I'm so clumsy," he murmured.

"Relax," she said as they danced. Suddenly they were cut in.

"May I have this dance my lady?" said a smooth voice.

"Just one," said Elle as Fred took her in his strong arms.

"I can't stop thinking about you not anymore," he whispered in her ear.

"Don't do this to me," she begged.

"I have too," he mumbled.

"Why? Why must you?"

"Because I cant let you go, I love you, I'm in love with you. "

"No."

"Yes."

Looking at her he whispered. "Don't let go."

As Elle danced with him the scene just as it had in September all those ago changed. She was five again and she was in her best party dress. She looked so pretty that's what her daddy had said.

Suddenly there was a father daughter dance and Vernon as fast as you could say Quidditch had his baby in his arms and they were on the floor together.

Five year old Ellouise was so content in the naivety of her age and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you daddy," she said.

"I love you too princess," he whispered her ear.

As they spun he put her over his head like an aero plane! She laughed so hard!

"Don't let go!" he smiled back at her.

"I won't," she whispered.

As she came back to related her heart was still in the dream. "I won't."

Fred watched as his belle turned to Cinderella and ran out the ball room.

"What did you say to her?" asked an angry Neville.

"I don't know."

Neville followed her as fast as he could but by the time they were on the third floor corridor he had lost her. In a guess he headed for the common room but when he got there she was vanished.

Then next day when he saw her she was pale and no one saw her at any meals all day. Her gaunt face suggested she was ill and Emily tried to get her to go to the hospital wing but she wouldn't. It was like part of Elle, the part of her that made her, well her, was all but gone. She just wasn't present.

Harry had never seen her looking so down.

Neville was surer whatever had gone on in her dance with Fred the previous night had triggered this but what had gone on he couldn't say.

Part of him wanted to scream at Elle for what she had done leaving him there. She had been fine when she had been dancing with him and then she just wasn't.

She looked so scared, of what they didn't know.

Elle however just felt so completed isolated from the world.

Only Hermione knew what had gone on last time and try as Elle might she couldn't seem tot find her this time.

Her eyes felt so cloudy. She couldn't see what the rest of the world could and no matter who was speaking it sounded to her like the precious father of the past. She was desperate for him. Just for is face, one word, one touch. She was so sure that'd make everything in the world right again for her.

That was when she had made a plan of her own.

She ran back to her dormitory and packed.

Taking her small school bag that she used just to carry her book's round to class in she throw in some pajamas, spare underwear, a toothbrush. Everything she would need till she refound her dad.

She had tried being a Potter and it hadn't worked. She was a Dursley.

Everyone but Elle could see as madness took over her.

Late that night around one she snuck out her dorm and run out the castle.

She couldn't take it.

She was going home.

To Privet drive.

a/n: ok just a note to say that these next to chapters are jam packed with action, and major drama like you haven seen me write since the shrieking shack!

These scenes were meant to go at the end at summer but I think having it here will just work better. If you're confused by Elle's behaviour, you ain't seen nothing yet. She's struggling with her heart and her conscience.

Next chapter should be up soon, next weekend at the latest hopefully.

Taffy-Isabelle-TaffCunns: Beth's your name? Cool! The character is named after my cousin who's a year younger than me but she's my best friend. I will lol. Thanks for your reviews!

Moony's-Wolf: I always do. Thanks for reviewing.

IamSiriusgrl: yep, thanks for reviewing.

moonfire-lovr: no he wont. James has a lot on his mind right now with his job, lily's pregnancy and Harry being a champion. When he isn't thinking about those things he has to squeeze in eating add a bit of sleep. He does speak to Elle through the mirror when he can though. I think he's grateful Remus is there 24/7 for her. Thanks for reviewing!

Emma-Lizzy-Black: glad you think so! Thanks for reviewing!

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