Why Shigure Should Die

"I mean, Hana and I did have some doubts," Uo laughs, "It's funny now that I think about it, hear I was thinking you were a bunch of knife wielding freaks, or..." she waves her hands in the air, "You could be part of a gang," she finishes wryly.

Yuki (Prince Yuki Souma to you, third years!) nods and smiles, "That's good. Er... I'm not that experienced with knife wielding, I would have disappointed you."

"Yeah, but once I saw you, I knew that while you were strange, I've never met someone like you. Through my cousin claimed to have a boyfriend who liked to that, I'm sure she was just trying to make her seem better as he had no redeeming qualities other than his looks."

Frowning, Yuki stared at Uo, wondering what she was meaning. What did he like to do? Could she have some inklings of the Zodiac?

"Admittedly, I do find it odd that you all do it as a family, but you're distant cousins right? So that's not so bad..."

His Family? Maybe she did know! Had Tohru slipped it out in conversation... no, Yuki shakes his head, she wouldn't. But if Uo knew, then Hatori would have to visit and this time Tohru memory might be taken away. A cold feeling overcame Yuki and he stared at Uo in barely disguised horror.

"You okay Yuki? You're looking pale, paler than usual." She leaned in close those she was examining his face. Then Uo placed a hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever, but your breathing is erratic, what's wrong?"

"Uo," Yuki said as calmly as he could, "How did you know about my family? It's..." he paused, "Not a very well known secret. We prefer for people outside the family not to know."

"Er, that's okay. I won't tell, I just think it strange that you would do it together." She gave Yuki a thoughtful stare, "I figured out when we came over to your house, it's was pretty obvious. Your perverted cousin, Shigure, pretty much gave it away through. Before then I thought you were just crackers."

"Oh... What did Shigure do, that made you so aware... of out situation?" Yuki had to know, so he could hit Shigure on the head for letting the secret to Uo.

"The nudity. I haven't see that many naked boys in a while." Uo grinned, "Thank you kindly for that Prince, Hana and I enjoyed the show."

"Er, yes, I mean," Yuki ducked his head, "I'm glad, that, you were..." he stopped, blushing a wild red.

Grinning, Uo ruffled his hair. "No worries. I just hope that you don't get Tohru involved with this sort of thing. She's far too innocent, she would be deadly embarrassed and I would have to beat you up. We wouldn't want that would we, Prince?"

"No?" Yuki frowned, "But what does Tohru have to do with this? We have tried for her not get involved but she sincerely wants to help."

Blinking, Uo gave a confused glance, "That doesn't sound like Tohru at all. I know she is sweet but this is a bit far... How did she find out?"

"Well, as you know she was camped on Souma property," Uo knuckles cracked, "And the day I found out she was living there, her tent was destroyed by a land slide. The next morning she found out, when that stupid cat came through the roof, they slipped and she ended up grabbing something that she shouldn't have."

Uo was gaping, her face bright crimson and she seemed to be having trouble breathing. "Tohru! She did that?" Uo looked down, "I can't believe she never told Hana and I, we're her friends! We always promised that if something like this happened we would tell each other. I guess she doesn't trust us as much as I thought."

"That's not the case, it's clearly not. The Head of the Souma made it impossible for her. She promised to keep the secret," Yuki looked down, "I hope you do too."

"Of course I'll keep it. But," Uo sighed, "I always thought that I would be the one who find out first. Tohru just so innocent. She must have been very sorry and embarrassed."

"She was," Yuki assured, "She couldn't stop saying sorry as she tends to do. Kyou was very ashamed too, once he realized," then he realized something, "Did you and Tohru discuss something like this happening?" His tone was shocked.

"Heh, I need to beat up Kyou..." She stared at Yuki, her gaze thoughtful, "Well, yeah. It's the time of things girls do, you know... Your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first date," she sighed.

Yuki frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"Girl stuff, Yuki! I mean, I understand why she wouldn't tell the average Prince Yuki fangirl on the street, as there is a long standing monetary reward for anyone who can get a picture of you naked, but she could have told Hana and I, we wouldn't care."

"Naked?" Yuki asked, horrified, wondering for Uo's sanity. "What does that have to do with this?"

"Well," she shrugged, "Everything."

"I really don't understand, I'm only briefly naked and surely that's not as important?"

"Look, Yuki," Uo assured, "It's okay that you're a nudist, even if you do it with your entire family. Like I said, odd, but thankfully you're distantly related as that would be too strange."

It was then Yuki had a coughing fit.

"Hey! You all right? Answer me Prince boy!" Uo leaned over and stared at his very pink face.

"Oh, yeah, we're the Souma family of nudists," Yuki weakly grinned, hoping that Tohru would never find out about this.

One thought rang through his mind, Shigure must die.

AN: Total crack, but I seem to be in a mood for writing it.

Disclaimer: Strangely enough FB has never been mine.