Thankyou to those who have reviewed, it was much appreciated. The next two chapters are character POV's so that accounts for the slightly different style and shorter length.
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He doesn't know why he called Wilson, the man just wont shut up. He may be his best friend- his only friend to tell the truth- but sometimes he would rather be alone. Wilson is a good friend. In time he shuts up when he realises that House is thinking. A good friend. A. Good. Friend. If he breaks the words up it drives the point home. He needs a friend sometimes.
Wilson pulls up outside houses apartment. He says something which he knows house won't hear. Wilson recognises this mood House is in. Wilson is a good friend. He drives off, and House breathes again. No questions. He unlocks the door and hobbles in. He hates the word hobbles. It is awkward, reminds him of hobbits. He hated the film. The books hurt his wrists. No hobbits. He limped. Too medical but will do for today. His couch is inviting him in and he accepts. Closes his eyes. Sees her. Opens his eyes. Sees her. He wishes she could understand. He doesn't love her. Doesn't want to love her. Why can't she see? "Cameron I don't love you" The words spill so easily from his lips. They vibrate together and make him want to rub them with his hand to stop the ticklish feeling. Childish. He wonders why she does it. He unbuckles his jeans and pulls them down to his ankles. They wont go over his trainers so he takes them off too. Looks at his thighs. Compares them. The ugliness of deformed tissue. Embedded. He wants to throw up. He decides he hates his leg. Did he always hate his leg? He liked it when there was no pain. He would give anything to never feel the pain. He goes into the bedroom and lies on the bed. Half dressed. Half asleep. Half him. "I don't love you". Easy. "We can never be together". Simple. Does she want him to take her in his arms in a Hollywood embrace and kiss her? Does she want him to throw his cane aside, pick her up in his strong muscular arms and carry her to the bedroom? Make love too her upon freshly pressed white sheets? Fall asleep in his arms? He feels his biceps. Not much there. Certainly stronger on one side from the cane using. Wonderful. The amazing lopsided man. One strong leg, one strong arm. He is lopsided. Unfeeling for people. Feeling everything for people. Needs to save them. Why? To save himself? He is tired. Takes a Vicodin. He is an addict. Wilson wants to save him. He sometimes wonders if Wilson wants to fuck him. He sometimes wonders if he wants to fuck Wilson. The answer is usually no. If he did fuck Wilson would he be less appealing to Cameron? She would probably want to join in. Enough pain for her there. He usually hates the word fuck. If he wants to annoy someone he will use it. It scares them off. His eyes are hazy. My eyes are hazy. He is a vicodin philosopher. It helps him work out the meaning of life. He usually falls asleep before he gets the big answer.
The meaning of life.
Pain.