DISCLAIMER: I do not own nor will I ever own Rurouni Kenshin. I am making no profit from this and I will remove this if requested to do so for any legitimate reason.
Author's Notes: Time flies, like a year and a half since the last chapter. Sorry to keep you waiting.
The Last Battle of the Bakumatsu
Chapter 29
By SDB
The sound of a grindstone sliding over a steel blade broke the evening silence. It repeated itself as Sano sharpened the short sword that had saved his life countless times. He paused to examine the polished surface before continuing to tend to its dull edge. The rest of his house was quiet but that was expected since he was the only one home. In fact, he hadn't seen anyone for most of the day.
After his meeting with Saito, he had picked up a couple of packages on behalf of Katsu. It was the third thing on his list, the one that he'd had the most trouble accomplishing. However, as sure as Sano wanted what was in the brown paper wrapping, he doubted his decision now. While it was something he'd always desired he didn't know if he deserved it. Even if he did, he knew some of the fighters he'd be teamed with, wouldn't appreciate it one bit. Saito would probably have the most reservation about it and he didn't know it was worth it now.
He put his concern of that aside for something even more troubling. He had tried to talk to Megumi before his meeting with Saito but she had left the dojo early. When he went to the clinic after his meeting, she refused to look at him. It wasn't that she locked herself in a room. It was the more painful cold shoulder as she went about her work. She would walk right passed him to get to a patient and tell him to come back if he was injured. There was a hint of their old relationship before he left Japan. Only this time she didn't even bother to insult him, she just told him to go away.
Giving up, he had retreated to the dojo for his usual afternoon of work. Despite his distracted thoughts, he didn't fail to notice that Kaoru appeared to be in a weird mood. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she'd been talking to Megumi. The concern for him was disturbing as much as it was refreshing. In the end, he refrained from asking her anything that might compromise the two women's friendship. He already knew why she was upset with him. He just didn't know why she was ignoring him when they should have been making the most of their time together.
He left his room to go to the kitchen and pour himself a cup of water. As he brought the refreshing liquid to his lips, he heard the return of the other two inhabitants of his home. Misao seemed to be chatting cheerfully away while Outa listened to her. Sano just watched them enter, ignoring what they were talking about. Misao entered first, talking over her shoulder as Outa followed her in. She had her face turned away from him as Outa shut the door and consequently the boy was the first to notice his brother there.
"Ah! I didn't see you there," Misao laughed nervously after being surprised to find him watching her. Sano didn't do anything other than swallow another mouthful of water. She looked at him anxiously, feeling that something wasn't quiet right. "Anyway, you should have stayed at the dojo. Megumi cooked up a storm that would have made Tae envious. I'm telling you, there was so much food that I'm surprised I didn't burst."
"Is that so?" Sano murmured as he finished his water.
"Of course, do you think I'm lying? I bet you're just jealous that you missed out." Misao's happy mood was draining away because of the dark atmosphere emanating from Sano.
"We're leaving in an hour. That's if you still want to go? Are you in or not?" Sano looked at her, his serious face chasing away the last of her positive thoughts.
"In on what? Going where?" She asked in confusion, the forgotten Outa watching them with a growing sense of dread.
"To fight, where else?" Sano could see her body stiffen as she finally realised what he was talking about. "The rules are simple, do what Saito says or he'll kill you. If you can live with that and the very real chance of dying, you're welcome to come along."
Misao's hands tightened into fists and her face became one of quiet determination. "If you think you're going to leave me behind after all of this, you've got another thing coming. I'll be ready in an hour," with that, she marched into her room.
Sano watched her, smiling slightly before it faded at the sight of his brother. The boy looked like he'd passed worried and gone straight to terrified. After putting his cup away, Sano walked up to him and crouched down to his level. "You look like the one who's going off to fight. What's got you so scared?"
"What if… what if you don't come back?" the boy sniffed, looking ever closer to tears.
"You understand why I'm going, right?" Outa nodded affirmatively first, then shook his head negatively a moment later. "I know you want to train and get stronger but do you know why you want to be strong?"
"To be like dad, to be like you and to protect my family," he responded instantly. Sano placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling contently.
"Knowing that, if you met a strong guy, wouldn't you want to see who was stronger?" Sano paused and Outa hesitantly nodded. "That's why I'm going. There's going to be a lot of strong guys there, guys I want to fight so that I can see who's better."
"But why do you have to risk your life, can't you just fight and not kill each other?" Outa's innocent question made Sano wonder if he really needed to do this.
"All I can say is, 'that's the way it is.' In life, there are some things worth fighting for and a few worth dying for. Sometimes you have to make a choice, like when dad and I went off to fight those Yakuza in Shinsuu. You risk you life to fight for what you believe, so you have to fight like you have no regrets. If you aren't willing to risk your life for your beliefs, then you beliefs aren't worth having. That's how I've lived my life, risking everything on what I believe. It's the only way you can live your life without regret, do you understand?" Sano waited for his brother to respond, smiling when he nodded.
"There are a couple of things you need to know before I go." Sano led Outa to his room, flipping over his battered old trunk. "This is where I've been keeping my money. Try not to use all of it while I'm gone. Of course, in the unlikely event of my death, it and the house are all yours."
"You won't die, you're unbeatable," Outa encouraged Sano, unable to see through Sano's calm façade.
"Well, it is just in case. So while I'm gone, I need you to take care of everything for me. Okay," Sano patted his brother on his head as he beamed with the confidence gleaned from his idol. "Why don't you get some of your stuff together and spend the night at the dojo."
"Okay," Outa agreed before hurrying off to his room.
As Sano closed his door, he let his face relax revealing the burden he felt on his shoulders. He still had the best part of an hour before he needed to meet up with everybody. In all his years, he had never really had a build up to a fight like this. He wanted to feel exhilarated by what was coming but there were still a few doubts holding him back. It was hard not to think that he was sacrificing more than he was gaining by joining this battle. However, he couldn't turn back now. Like he said to Outa, he was going to live without regret.
With that thought, he tore the brown wrapping paper off the package he had picked up earlier. After running his hand over the fabric, he started to change. Looking down at himself in his new clothes he reinforced his thoughts by whispering, "No regrets."
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Kaoru kept watch under the guise of drying the dishes. Although she was standing right next to her, Megumi didn't seem to notice she was there. It had been like that all day as the female doctor scurried from one task to another. Kaoru could understand what she was doing. She was trying to distract herself by throwing herself into any kind of work. That was why she had made far more food than they could eat. It was also why she was furiously washing dishes, her iron like grip coming close to shattering a few.
What Kaoru didn't know, was how to get her to stop for a moment. She had tried blocking her path but had nearly been bowled over. Then she had tried grabbing her from behind only to be almost dragged off her feet. The only answer she gave when asked if there was something wrong was always an insult directed at Sano. Kaoru was only aware of what had happened because Megumi had told her the night before. Since then, Megumi had been in overdrive trying not to think about Sano.
While Kaoru hurriedly tried to keep pace with Megumi, she looked over her shoulder at Kenshin. Unnoticed by both women, he had entered the kitchen and had started to pack the leftovers into boxes. She couldn't help wonder what he was up to and failed to realise that Megumi had run out of things to wash. When Kaoru did notice, she watched the older woman's eyes flitting around, looking for a new task to occupy her time. As she washed out the sink and her hands, Kaoru decided to take this opportunity to talk.
"Umm Megumi… don't you think you should stop for minute," Kaoru tried not to be angry when she was ignored. "I mean, there's nothing left to do. Why don't you rest for a while?"
"Who can rest at a time like this? Besides, there's always something to do." Megumi turned to Kaoru as if she was waiting for a task to be given.
"You could try going to Sano's, I'm sure he'd have something for you to do." Kaoru's sly remark was met with a scowl before Megumi returned to cleaning the kitchen. Kaoru watched her with concern, finding it futile to think of a way to placate her. From the edge of her vision, she noticed Kenshin silently slipping out the door. "Kenshin, you could try to help me."
He paused in the doorway, frozen in the moment before he spoke. "I think it's a little too late to help." He quickly continued, heading towards the front of the house carrying the leftovers he had packed. Kaoru stared dumbly at his retreating form unaware that Megumi was doing the same. The doctor was the first to react, heading after him with Kaoru following in her wake. The sight that greeted them was not what they expected or wanted to see. Kenshin was helping Yahiko pack the food, his bag already half full with items he'd need for his journey.
"They're here," Aoshi announce from the shadows as he walked toward the gate. Both women watched him, his coat billowing behind him and his swords glinting in the moonlight. Yahiko hurriedly completed his preparations, tying his bag closed and tossing it over his shoulder. He went after Aoshi, Kenshin hesitantly following him. Kenshin looked back, hoping that the two women would stay put but they were also following behind him. He didn't know if they would be ready for what awaited them outside the gate.
Stepping through the gate was like stepping through a door in time for the ex-Hitokiri. He recognised many of the older faces and noticed a few of the younger men who were spitting images of their father's. Their reaction to him largely depended on whether or not they had been friend or foe. Most of them tried to remain neutral having been warned that he may make an appearance among them. A few of them had even questioned Saito about why he wasn't accompanying them. The former Shinsengumi captain's answer was simple, 'He was no longer someone to be feared.'
Some of the men shifted their gaze passed Kenshin; an indication Megumi and Kaoru had appeared. They remained behind the threshold, feeling like it would protect them from the swordsmen on the other side. Kenshin hardened his appearance, warning the men that any stray thoughts could be costly. No matter what Saito said or thought, Kenshin still had presence and a menacing one if he needed it. Had this meeting been fifteen years earlier, Kenshin knew that only a few of them could have stood up against him. Luckily, the situation was such that his involvement wasn't necessary and they weren't looking for trouble from him.
"If they're going to be late, we might as well leave them behind." Cho's grumble was ignored by most of the group since they had already sensed someone approaching. The former enemy of the state looked around when no one chose to answer him. Finally, he caught on that they were coming and he turned toward the direction everyone else was looking. The quartet appeared from the darkness and it was followed by a murmur from the group of soldiers. Saito even raised an eyebrow as he examined both Sano and Katsu dressed in the uniform of the Sekihoutai. However, he noted one difference.
The symbol for evil was emblazed on the left side of Sano's orange jacket, right over his heart. The two men were unconcerned by the fuss they appeared to have created. Although, when they were closer it seemed as if Misao was creating her own stir. She was the only woman that would be going with them and several of the men didn't appear happy about it. Misao thanked her lucky stars that she wore a cloak that conceal her entire body from sight. She doubted they would have appreciated her appearance in just her normal ninja uniform.
"You really are a moron, what are you trying to prove by wearing that traitorous uniform?" Before the man with the broom like hairstyle could react, Sano attacked. He unveiled his Zanbatou, swinging it at his target but stopping it an inch from his throat. While everyone watched Sano, Katsu had come up beside Cho and was holding a pistol to his head. A few mini bombs were in his other hand as a precaution against the other swordsmen. Sano waited until a drop of sweat had made its way down Cho's face before he spoke.
"Say something like that again and I'll break every bone in your body. That goes for the rest of you as well." Sano stared menacingly at the group, making sure he remembered the faces of the unshaken men. They were the strongest of the group and the ones that he had to be most wary of. He relaxed his sword, returning it to his shoulder as Katsu holstered his pistol. "As for what I'm trying to prove, try asking your boss."
Cho didn't understand what he'd meant and turned to look at Saito. He appeared unconcerned by what had happened, still casually smoking his cigarette. However, on closer examination, Cho noticed the Shinsengumi headband tied to the hilt of his sword. In fact, Kenshin had already noticed that many of the men carried reminders of their old allegiances. He looked back at Sano, noticing that his short sword was handing from his left hip rather than hidden under his jacket. He also noticed that Katsu had several pistols and a rifle strapped on his back.
"There's no point wasting anymore time." Saito dropped his cigarette, griding it into the ground before he walked away. Eiji followed a step back and Aoshi not far behind him. A shaken Cho fell in behind them leading the remainder of the soldiers.
"Make sure you take care of everything, I'll be back soon." Sano stated in a warmer voice as he patted his brother on the head. He started to walk away, Misao, Yahiko and Katsu all staying close to him. Outa moved to Kenshin's side, worriedly looking around the group. He noticed that Megumi hadn't taken her eyes off Sano. Her mind was urging, screaming at her to do something but she couldn't move. She just watched as Sano turned, smiling at her the moment before he disappeared from view.
Ignoring the others, Megumi turned and hurried into the house. She went straight to her room, taking a deep breath once she was sure no one was watching. Strangely enough, the tears didn't come as she had expected them to. Feeling a little detached from reality, she changed into her sleeping yukata. Slowly climbing into her futon, she wondered whether or not it was just a bad dream that she was about to wake up from. So busy hoping she was in a dream, she failed to notice the knock at her door until the third attempt.
"Go away Kaoru," she immediately shouted, heralding silence once again. With no new sounds for a minute, she thought she was safe. However, she soon her the scraping sound of her door being opened. She was ready to pounce on the intruder with a tirade of insults until she noticed who was there. Outa looked at her nervously, unsure what to say to the agitated woman. She tried to reassure him with a smile but his concern continued to show. If it was for her or his brother, she didn't know.
"Sanosuke… he… he asked me to give you this." He thrust out his hand, trembling as he waited for her to take the letter from it. She hesitantly held it, a moment passing before a relieved Outa could release his grip. Smiling uncertainly, he bowed to her before closing the door. She looked down at the letter in her hand, her name clearly displayed in Sano's characteristic writing style. Compared to hers it looked like a child's but then again, Sano never had the benefit of a good education. With an unsteady hand she unfolded the letter, reading it with Sano's voice echoing the words in her head.
"Dear Megumi, this is the only way I know I can speak to you, especially since I don't know if I'll see you again before I leave. I know I might not come back but my life will have meant nothing if I don't go. I don't expect you to understand and I'm not going to apologise. If you can't forgive me then I'll just have to live with that, that's if I survive. When this is all over, I'll find you and we can finally sort all this out. You know I'll survive because I'm the cursed patient that comes back to you every day with another injury. I expect that I'll have a few more injuries to show you when we meet again. I'll be back soon, love Sagara Sanosuke.
"PS: Even though I didn't tell him to, Outa will look out for you. My father used to say, 'A man grows up watching the back of the man walking in front of him.' I'm sure that even without me there he'll be a great man, maybe even a better man than me. With that said, women tend to show men the way. So if I can't return to you, I hope you'll show Outa the way to becoming a great man." She sat silently rereading the letter several times over. She thought that if she looked hard enough, she might be able to find some solace in it. However, her search was in vain because she knew she lost any chance at it when she let him walk away without saying a word.
It wasn't until the letter was folded and hidden under her pillow that silent tears began to flow.