Author's Note
Okay my loyal readers, this time I have placed the author's note to the top to let everyone know that this contains Erik and Christine fluffiness! I'm sure this earns a justified M Rating, so you have been warned. -smiles- I've posted this story over at Adult Fan Fiction due to the major edit of this Chapter. For those interested in the uncut version, you can find it there (Same Pen Name: phanatic4phantom and same story name "To Be Held"). It's under the "books" section and then go to The Phantom of the Opera. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 20

After verbally abusing Nadir and sending him home, Erik went to his bedroom to see about getting out of his drenched clothing. He would surely catch a cold if he didn't get into something warm and dry. He would have Nadir to thank if he fell ill after tonight's folly. He shook his head at the thought of Nadir's trick. Erik would get him back. It was inevitable.

Christine found it odd that after she had bathed and dressed for bed, Erik still had not come to her. She sat reading, hoping to pass the time, but she soon found herself impatient. She wondered where he could be. She placed her book on the dresser and decided to go see what had happened to him.

She walked out of her bedroom and into the main room, which she noticed was completely dark. The only light she could see was a faint flicker coming from underneath Erik's bedroom door.

"Erik?" Christine whispered. "Erik, are you in here?"

The door was slightly ajar and she peered through the gap curiously. She stopped short and took a sudden breath and was instantly frozen. She mentally screamed at herself to run back to her room. Her feet would not listen to her as her heart pounded so loudly, she thought it would pop right out of her chest. In this moment, she knew that watching him was wrong, but she couldn't do anything to remove herself from his door. So there she stood, in awe.

Erik drew a hot bath and walked back into his bedroom to free his body of its soaked prison. He took his jacket off and hung it over a chair. He sat down to remove his boots and caught the flicker of flame from his candelabra in the reflection of the full-length mirror he had in his room. It was the only mirror he had that wasn't covered by a drape. After all, he needed to make sure he was always impeccably dressed and that was the only way to be sure. Normally he abhorred his image, but there was no way around it.

He thought of Christine and wondered what she would think of him. He knew she did not fear his face, but what of his body? Would it be pleasing to her? He had not thought that his physique would be an issue. He never had to worry about it since it was always his face he tried to keep from the world, but now this new dilemma perplexed him.

He walked over to the mirror and looked at himself. He looked absolutely appalling in his watery nightmare. He let out a long sigh and began to undo his cravat, dropping it to the floor. Next came his shirt, as he let hit droop off his shoulders and down his arms, falling to the ground behind him.

There he stood before the mirror, bare-chested, in just his trousers. He noticed he was slender, but still had a nice build; his chest and abdomen were firmly chiseled.

Suddenly he turned. He thought he heard something, but then dismissed it as the sound of the lake rippling outside.

He again turned his concentration on his image in the mirror. His mask sat firmly in place, as he ran his hands through his hair, slicking it back. He brushed his fingers against the patch of hair that matted in the middle of his chest, rubbing it slightly to free it of its disarray. His attention was drawn to the various scars scattered across the front of him, lines of raised white skin. There was no doubt in his mind that his back shared the same markings. He turned around and looked over his shoulder to view what he already knew. More lines of raised white skin. However, these were longer than the ones he had on his front. He did have a strong back, he realized as he flexed the muscles slightly. He hoped Christine would not shy away from his body after seeing the abusive scars they harbored.

He turned around again and let out another long breath, as there was one last thing he needed to check. He stood in front of the mirror with his fingers at the waistband of his trousers.

Christine was hypnotized by Erik's display before her. She wondered why he was wet, but she was even more curious as to why he inspected his body as he shed his clothes. She couldn't peel herself away from the door. She watched every movement he made.

With each piece of clothing that came off her skin flushed into a fevered sweat. As Erik touched his body, she felt faint.

She brought a hand up to her mouth as she saw the long markings on his back reflecting against the mirror. She knew they were wounds he had received when he had spent those terrible times with the gypsies. Christine closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. When she opened her eyes she crossed herself and as she focused her eyes back at Erik, her mouth fell open. "God will certainly not forgive me if I stay a moment longer," she thought, knowing what Erik was about to do next.

There he stood with his fingers at the waistband of his trousers.

Heaven help her for she could not be swayed from this sinfully sweet seduction that lay before her.

Erik wanted to be pleasing for Christine in every possible way. Everything he had checked so far, aside from the markings, had been satisfactory.

In one graceful movement he pushed his trousers down to his ankles and stepped out of them.

There he stood, completely naked in front of the mirror. He turned slowly in a complete circle, checking his reflection. From the waist down, he was free from markings of any kind. His lower half was perfection. He glanced at the muscles in his legs and thighs, which were well defined. He turned to his side to view his backside, which he noted was in perfect symmetry. There was one last thing to observe and he would take his bath.

He stood in front of the mirror, placing his hands flat against his chest then gliding them down past the small ripples of his muscled stomach, down his firm abdomen and stopped at the dark trail of hair that descended down from just below his navel.

Christine's eyes grew wide. There he was, shed of all his clothing. She didn't need to see her face to know that it was completely red at this point. The fire within completely engulfed her rational state of mind otherwise she knew she would feel completely terrible for invading on his privacy in this immoral fashion.

She lost herself in his body, and as he touched himself she envisioned it was her hands on him. With every trace she slowly lost her breath as her skin prickled, beading sweat from her body. Her palms were damp from nervous anxiety. She tried to calm her nerves to no avail. She didn't know how much longer she could remain standing. The strange pang of desire fluttering in her belly was luring her to him.

Erik traced the hairs with his fingers and moved lower stopping at the dark curly mound of hair that surrounded his manhood. He closed his eyes briefly and thought of Christine at that moment. He reminded himself that he was doing this for her sake. He wanted to look upon himself envisioning her eyes viewing him for the first time. He was used to his body, but she was not.

He viewed the length of himself and looked at his reflection. He never had any way to compare himself to other men. He had seen pictures of the male anatomy in several medical books he possessed as well as images from a few questionable publications he had come across. Erik wondered if he would be enough of a man for Christine during intimacy. They were both pure, so he was not certain one way or another how it would be when they finally coupled. He remembered the journals he had read about the female body that mentioned discomfort during a woman's first encounter. His mind drifted with thoughts of Christine and himself in the throes of passion. He wouldn't want to pain her in any way. If it could be avoided, he would find a way.

Christine watched Erik inspecting himself, as her legs began to feel weak. His body was strong and smooth as the shadows of the candlelight danced upon him, kissing every sculpted muscle across him from head to toe. She wanted to get lost in Erik forever.
Erik wondered if it was a sin to view his body in this fashion. Not being of any particular faith, he doubted that normal people would do something like this, let alone spend such extensive time doing it. Well, it was no matter. He didn't fear God, since he felt God had abandoned him since his birth. He was only doing this for Christine. She was everything to him.

It was only when she came into his life that he had dared to love and decided that there would only be one possible way to ever release his urges. His fulfillment would only be found in her. There would be no other way for him. He wasn't a very patient man and he had often dreamt about being coupled with her. His anguish only heightened, as he'd wake from those vivid dreams.

His thoughts betrayed him, as his need was ever present before him. In a blink of an eye, he let out his frustrations and launched his fist into the mirror.

Christine ran her hands along her body, trying to calm her burning skin. As she listened to Erik's steady breathing it shook her to her core. She closed her eyes and imagined their bodies entwined, not knowing what end they would both find together.

As suddenly as her thoughts brought her to fantasy, she woke to the sound of shattering glass, shocking her back into reality. She saw Erik curse himself as he inspected the damage to his right hand.

Caught in a foggy haze, she pushed the door open without thought, and stood before her Angel.

Erik was dumbfounded as she grabbed for his hand to see what kind of damage he had done.

He had opened up his middle knuckle and there were bits of glass embedded in his skin, but otherwise the break had been miraculously clean.

Erik quickly reached for his cape and covered himself as Christine disappeared into his bathroom.

She filled a small basin with warm water then added some hydrogen peroxide to it.

Carefully bringing the mixture out to him, she knelt by his feet and pulled a chair in front of him. Placing the basin onto the chair, she reached for his hand and gently submerged it into the liquid. Erik hissed slightly as the water covered his wounds. After a few moments, she lifted his hand out of the basin and proceeded to carefully remove what was left of the glass. She patted his hand dry with a towel then dressed his hand firmly.

After tenderly nursing his wound, she kissed it and placed his hand gingerly onto his lap. She held his bandaged hand in hers as she lowered her head to rest on his left thigh.

Erik brushed her flowing curls over her shoulder with his left hand. Sighing as he closed his eyes, he finally found his voice. "Christine, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. I wondered why you had not come to see me in my room, so I came looking for you, Angel." Christine stated simply.

Curiosity and shame plagued him. He kept his eyes closed, as he feared the next answer to his question. "How long did you watch me before you came in, mon ange?"

Christine was circling Erik's knee nervously as his question registered. She felt herself blush in guilt. She could not lie to him. "Erik, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on you. Please forgive me. I can't lie to you, my Angel. I saw you."

Erik flinched and felt like an imbecile. He paled considerably at the thought of her watching him.

Silence separated them as she felt his tension. She slowly picked her head up and looked at him. With his eyes closed, she would have thought him asleep if it were possible to be asleep in such a position. She felt him tremble slightly as she eyed him. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was afraid of her. He looked so vulnerable wrapped in nothing but his cape. "Erik? What's wrong? What are you thinking about?"

He opened his eyes as he felt her hand touch his chest. He then realized she was looking up at him with those big brown eyes full of wonderment. She was such an innocent Angel. He was embarrassed she had viewed him in such a personal way. "Do not worry, mon ange. Please, forget about what you saw tonight. I'm sorry you had to bear witness to my unbecoming behavior."

"It's not your fault, Erik. You didn't do anything wrong. It was I that intruded upon you, but I couldn't help myself. You are…" she was interrupted.

"Appalling… I know, Christine. Just forget about it." He turned his head away from her closing his eyes in shame.

She stood up in front of him and caressed the left side of his face adoringly. "Beautiful," she said.

He opened his eyes and turned to meet her tender gaze. "Christine?"

"You are beautiful." She looked at him unblinking. She leaned closer to him and kissed him affectionately.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her, modestly at first, then with intense need as she came to rest upon his lap, wrapping her legs around him. Their mouths parted and their tongues circled feverishly as their breathing became uneven and heavy.

Christine ran her hands through his hair pulling his head closer to deepen their kiss. Erik growled into her mouth as he obeyed her, enveloping her mouth with his. She ran her hands down the base of his neck and moved to the sides of his shoulders as she slid his cape off. His chest was now exposed to her as she ran her hands across his chest, grasping at it.

Erik pulled her closer to him. She looked at him with fire in her eyes, and this stirred him. She brought her mouth to his neck and nibbled it. Erik took a deep breath savoring the sensation she was giving him. She grew bolder at his sounds of pleasure and traced his collarbone with her tongue. He was losing his mind as she teased him. He felt like he was on the verge of passing out. He eased himself down to rest his back upon the bed.

Christine was now straddled upon him. She covered his chest with kisses. He inhaled deeply as he lost himself to her. Erik closed his eyes trying to find sanity hidden in the darkness, but his urge was great. He held onto her as she slid her hands down the sides of his body until they came to rest upon the fabric of his cape loosely covering his waist.

He opened his eyes in a flash and grabbed her wrists. She looked up at him and he met her with a bewildered gaze.

"Leave me, Christine." Erik said curtly, as he sat up and tried his best to calm himself.

Christine was puzzled by his sudden mood shift as she tried to ask, "Erik, I…."

"I need to bathe. Please go, Christine." Erik gently moved her off of him, stood, and walked away from her. Disappearing into his bathroom, he locked the door behind him.

A tear escaped Christine's eye, then another. She ran to her room feeling terribly alone.