Simple things (part 2)

Over the last two years, I somehow came to the conclusion that Kiba is always right, no matter how stupid what he says is, it is all so clear and logical. And it all rings so true to my ears.

Kiba says I'm a block of ice… and he is right.

Kiba yells at me because I don't spend enough time with him… right he is again.

Kiba thinks I don't care…

It's all so logical.

Would I be so cold if I really cared?

Still, I can't help the little pang of pain in my chest as he starts crying in frustration at not being able to get a reaction out of me.

It hurts, deep inside, to know that even though he says I am his best friend, I never brought him anything but pain, anger and frustration.

Kiba is such a simple thing… he is true and honest, impulsive but caring and generous. He hurts when people, people like me, disregards him, hurts when they turn their back on him, when they purposely ignore and reject him.

My chest feels too small as I watch him pull on his hair with a growl. His words ringing in my ears as he grabs my shoulders and tries to get a reaction out of me, I turn my head to stare at a tree.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Shino! What did I fucking do? Shit…"

"you did nothing, Kiba… it's just the way things are."

"You… how can you…? It's…" words failing him, he growls out and pulls his hands back from my shoulders.

"Doesn't matter" he grunts, weeping his eyes with his sleeve "You know what? Just… just fuck you Shino, go to fucking hell, I don't fucking care… you… you stupid fuck"

I can't help but flinch at that, my hands balled into fists in my pockets.

"Okay…" I simply stat and turn around to leave.

"Okay… Okay? Is that all you stupid bugfreak can do? Say "okay…" and walk away like the fucking coward you are? There really is something wrong with you, you know that? You're a fucking… fucking retard? No wonder you never had any friends! Not because they were disgusted by all those fucking bugs of yours! Just because you're a fucking egoistical bastard with no heart and no fucking brain! How could I be so fucking stupid?"

But you're wrong, Kiba… so wrong.

No matter how hard I try, I can't keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks, I can't ignore the burning pain inside my chest, I can't stop the shaking of my lips.

I do have a heart… and it just shattered into a millions of pieces.

Guess I got what I deserved.

I hear some ruffling behind me, a low growling and then, I feel two arms encircling me from behind, two hands gripping at my shirt. Your nose is cold against my neck but your breath is so warm on my shoulder. Startled, I turn my head to look at you.

Your eyes are closed, your lips are pressed together in a thin line and tears are sliding down your tattooed cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Shino… I didn't… I didn't mean it. You just… Kami knows I love you but… it's just so frustrating when you…"

You keep going but I'm not listening anymore. I'm standing there, motionless as you hug me tightly to your chest, whispering nonsensical words to my ears, gently soothing my aching heart.

Kami knows I love you…

Simple things, Kiba… simple things you say that make my life so much more complicated.