Destroy All Mary Sues!
by Red Mage Moogle
I saw a few antiSue fics and had to do one. DEATH TO THE SUES! Flames welcome. FLAME ME, DAMMIT!
On with the show, kupo!
-Cyril, The Prancing Chocobo-
Marche of Clan Nutsy was sitting around in the bar waiting for a new mission to pop up when...
"Hey Marche! I got a mission for you!"
Marche walked over to the counter and read the mission paper.
Mission 301 – MS Hunting
HELP US! Muscadet is being invaded by idiots! Someone get up here and kill them!
--Random Streetear
Marche was now laughing like a heathen. How wrong he thought...
-Muscadet, Outside Spina Lodge-
"NO! NOT THEM!"
They weren't just idiots..they were Mary Sues! WTF?
A Sue approached Marche and Montblanc. She had silver hair, a GORGEOUS face, a leather suit, and huge breasts that she would probably get back pains from.
"LEIK OMG! I'm like, Angel Star Stellar Shimmering Sexy Moonlight! I wan 2 join ur cl4n! I HAV GR8 SKILLZ AND KNOW ALL MY ABILITIES OLOLOLOL!"
The judge appeared, looked at the Sue, and said calmly, "Do whatever you want, I'm too squeamish for this," and bailed.
Marche stabbed the Sue over and over with Ayvuir Red. "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE--"
And then 27 more came out of the Lodge.
"LOLOLOLOL! We're the coolest chicks around, and, like, we're so strong, and like, gorgeous!"
Montblanc just lost it: "KUPOOOO! KILL THE SUESSSSS!" and fried them with a Firaga spell.
But now there were 124 of them emerging...
YOUR FLAMES ARE TASTY, KUPO! FLAME MEEEEE!