Destroy All Mary Sues!
HAHAHAHA! I got one flame from some dumbass I don't care about! Mmmm...tasty...
On with the show, kupo!
-Bervenia Palace, Front Gates-
Two Dragoon guards stood outside the palace.
"owww..."
"'Sup, Joe?"
"My hemorroids..."
"That sucks ass, dude."
"Wait, what's that?"
"OMG! OMG! IT IS THEM!THE MARY SUES!"
"JUMP ATTACK!"
They jumped and landed on the sues with a nasty squelch, blood splattering everywhere...
"Man that sounded nasty, but at least you got one!"
"I didn't..."
"Then what was that...wait...sick dude..."
The Sues spoke up. "Eeewwww..."
The first guard simply whimpered in pain.
-Bervenia Palace, War Planning Room-
"OKAY! These 'Mary Sues' are a force not unlike common monsters. So, just make the clans do it."
"But wouldn't that just piss them off even more?"
"SCREW THE CLANS! They can be our lapdongs even longer."
"Uh huh huh huh..."
"What?"
"Hehe, you said 'lapdongs'."
"Huh huh, yeah."
"Hehheh, lapdongs even longer."
Then the Sues came in. "OMGOMG! Like, what's this room, like, used for and, like, stuff? LOL!"
"LOLOLOLOL!"
"OH SWEET JESUS HELP US! WE'D FIGHT THEM OURSELVES BUT WE'RE GONNA PUSSY OUT AND MAKE THE CLANS DO IT!"
Suddenly tentacles choked them all.
Marche and the mutated lung stood there. "GREAT JOB LUNGY! You get a pizza."
Lungy ate the pizza. "BLERAGHRAG! "
A fangirl viera was standing nearby. "LUNGY! COME GET ME! I WANT TO BEAR YOUR CHILDRENNNNNNNNN--choke!"
Marche looked at the viera. Aww, she was a hottie, too. Even so, "Good job. I hate those $$$#ing fangirls too."
The lapdong joke came from a typo I had originally wanted to remove...
YOUR FLAMES ARE TASTY!